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DW Documentary: Microdosing LSD in the Name of Self-Improvement

Diabolical drug or miracle cure? It may be a matter of dosing. This documentary by German public broadcaster DW explores the benefits of taking microdoses of LSD for self-improvement.

I have mixed feelings about microdosing. On the one hand, it's safer & more controllable than taking a heroic dose, making it more suitable for many people & situations. I microdose many pills & potions myself to control unwanted side effects. On the other, I see the rise of microdosing psychedelics as an insidious form of capitalism meant to make people more productive or creative rather than encouraging them to push back against authority or commune with their higher spiritual selves like higher doses would. If you want a substance that serves that function, use Adderall or a daily antidepressant.

Studies have also shown that any benefits gained from microdosing are mostly placebo effect, which is not necessarily a bad thing as placebo effect itself has real benefits to users. It's just that the drugs themselves in these small doses aren't having the effects people think they are.

Whatever your opinions on microdosing, you should check out this high quality documentary. And leave a comment below.

Letter to the Vaccinated:

To the people out there who did their part by rolling up their sleeves and getting their vaccines:  thank you.  If you're still treating COVID like the existential threat it is, this article is not directed at you.  However, to those who are treating their vaccine like a magic shield against COVID and going back to their regularly scheduled activities:

Stop it.  Right now.  You're putting yourself and others at risk.

I know we no longer have an anti-science, hate spewing fascist in the White House and you may feel like things are "back to normal," but the numbers don't lie:  things are worse than they were this time last year across the country.  Yet my social media feeds are full of friends--as many liberal as conservative--going to ball games, concerts, school dances, parades, pool parties & crowded indoor events without masks as if COVID is over.  The same people who bitched about Sturgis are attending Lollapalooza or Burning Man & taking selfies surrounded by hoardes of other maskless people.  Meanwhile every hospital in every metro area in the state has 0 beds available.  Z E R O.  

Those aren't carpet fibers, they're people:  Lollapalooza 2021

Nurses & doctors are pleading with us to knock it off, yet we persist. Biden gave a press conference that some are calling "authoritarian" (LOL) in which he sternly asked doctors to ask their patients to get vaccinated and asked employers to ask their workers to get the jab.  Lots of "asking".  This hasn't worked so far, why would it work now?  Especially when the very people who are most reluctant to get the shot are the same people who abhor the guy giving the speech.  It's a Venn diagram of Biden haters & anti-vaxxers that's basically a circle.  If anything, his speech is likely to make that crowd dig their heels in harder & avoid the shot out of spite.  

...and even if you've gotten your shot, you might be the person who infects an unvaccinated person.  Vaccinated people shed LESS virus when infected, not NONE.  While it's tempting to say "that's their problem/they should've gotten their shot!" you're really no better than them when you go down that road.  Every COVID-positive person who has to be hospitalized contributes to the burden on the healthcare system & society in general.  This is why it's vital to do your part & keep masking/distancing whenever possible.  We truly are all in this together.  

Delta Variant 101

COVID comeback explained

The Delta variant is roughly 60% more infectious than the original COVID strain & evades immune recognition about half the time.  The vaccine offers a strong layer of protection against severe infection and death.  That's great.  But you can still get sick--in worst cases, very sick--which brings with it the risk of long COVID & other issues.  

And not all vaccinated groups are in the same boat risk-wise.  If you're immune compromised and got the shot, it may not work as well or for as long which means you REALLY need to look into getting another dose ASAP.  People older than 65 fall into this "immune suppressed" category as their immune response to vaccines in general is weaker than young people.  This is why there's a separate "65 & over" flu shot every year.  Those who got their vaccine longer than 8 months ago also should be looking into a booster because immunity has been shown to wane after this amount of time.  

And for those with normal immune systems whose shots are still in the "optimal effectiveness range":  you're not safe to go maskless or attend crowded events.  The Delta variant is so contagious that you're at risk of breakthrough infection if you come in contact with the virus at all.  The shot was developed to combat the Wuhan/Alpha strain, which was far less infectious.  "Breakthrough infection" doesn't necessarily mean "mild symptoms" either:  there have been many reports of people getting quite sick, including Oscar De La Hoya who was sick enough to be hospitalized despite full vaccination.  A man in peak physical condition was sick enough to require 3 days of inpatient hospital care.  This is not the norm but can happen.  

As with the flu & other respiratory viruses, viral load (how much of the virus you inhale or ingest) determines how severe your illness is likely to be if you do get infected.  This is why distancing & masking are so important:  you inhale fewer viral particles that way.  I know it's annoying and inconvenient but there's never been a worse time to be breathing in other people's respiratory droplets.  Well-fitting surgical masks filter out larger droplets while N95 & KN95 masks help filter both large and smaller airborne droplets.  According to Dr. Osterholm, director for the Center for Infectious Disease Research and Policy at the University of Minnesota, neck gaiters & bandannas are a poor choice for preventing COVID & we should all upgrade to N95 and KN95 masks now that the healthcare mask shortage is over.  Double-masking is also a good option if done correctly.  

Government's Failure

Biden's "tough" COVID speech

The fact that states are pushing ahead with in-person learning & there's no federal lockdown while the virus rages & bodies pile up means our leaders are accepting this as the "new normal".  The Biden Administration cares no more about our traumatized healthcare workers, stressed out teachers, meatpackers, grocers, unvaccinated children or dying Black & brown populations who suffer disproportionately from COVID than the Trump Administration did.  Vaccine mandates are merely a Band-Aid to allow capitalism to push ahead as usual; not to keep the population safe & healthy.  To truly do that, we need universal healthcare, paid sick leave, universal basic income during the pandemic & an actual paid lockdown like every other developed nation has had since the beginning if we have ANY chance of getting this under control.  We couldn't even get a one-time $2,000 stimulus check that was promised during the Biden campaign.  

Make no mistake:  COVID is here to stay.  The question is, how long will it take for us to turn it into a manageable seasonal illness like influenza & stop it from killing more people unnecessarily while causing more irreversible worker burnout & trauma?  We've done the bare minimum so far & continue to do so.  The difference is, now that Biden's in office, liberals have gone from outrage to quiet apathy which is the exact opposite of what needs to happen in times of crisis.  700,000+ Americans are DEAD and never coming back.  While we memorialize the ~3,000 lives lost on 9/11, we sit by apathetically as the U.S. leads the world in COVID cases and deaths.  We have more COVID cases than the slums of India, Brazil, Romania, Haiti, Colombia or any other crowded, impoverished nation on Earth.  And all we hear is *crickets* about it from our so-called leaders.

Maybe this will get your attention, libs:  Trump is preparing for a 2024 run.  And with the less-than-impressive way the Democrat-controlled 3 branches of government have performed with their cast of rotating villains to stop progress at every turn, he has as good a chance of winning as anyone.  Maybe better.  

America loves a comeback story.  (See:  COVID).  

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Ahmad Shah Massoud & The Unheeded Warning

If you're not familiar with him, the name might sound like one of many nondescript Middle Eastern leaders or even terrorists.  But he was anything but:  a beloved politician and military commander, Shah Massoud was an Afghan resistance leader against the Taliban who would go on to warn the world about the coming terrorist threat to the Western world.  His warnings would go unheeded and he would be killed in a terrorist bombing only 2 days before the 9/11 attacks in Manhattan.  So why don't more Americans know about this noble man's life?

Probably because he was an embarrassment to the intelligence agencies and politicians who wanted to pretend there's "no way we could've foreseen what happened" prior to the attacks.  The FBI, CIA, Condoleeza Rice, George Bush & Co.  But in the early months of 2001, Massoud went to France & spoke at large televised press conferences, begging for help defeating the Taliban.  His words were both ominous and specific:  "My message to President Bush is this:  If he isn't interested in peace in Afghanistan, if he refuses to help the Afghan people reach peace, the problems we're facing in Afghanistan will soon be America's problems and the rest of the world's."

So who was this brave man who had the courage to stand up against the oppressive power of the Taliban & risk his life to warn the world of this danger?  

"Lion of Panjshir"

Massoud meets with world leaders in April 2001

Like many other Afghani men of the time, Massoud served in the Mujahideen war against the Soviets in the 'late 70s and early '80s that ended up bringing down the Soviet Union permanently.  It was during this period he was given the title "Lion of Panjshir" by his fellow fighters.  He was respected by some and hated by others, with Osama bin Laden falling into the "hate" category.  Massoud was an ardent supporter of women's rights, globalization & democracy with a taste for literature & the arts.  This put him on the hit list of the Taliban who were rising to power in the mid-'90's.  While Massoud was a Muslim, he supported a less fundamental interpretation of the Quran & disagreed with the direction Afghanistan was going under Taliban control.  (As any sane person would).  Unlike most men, he was willing to put his life on the line to combat the growing threat.  It's certain many Afghani women felt similar but had no power to speak out.  They still don't.

Massoud's Northern Alliance was greatly outnumbered by Taliban fundamentalists.  He must've known he had a target on his back when he appeared on television & in interviews.  You can see the look of resignation on his face at some of the press conferences.  But still he soldiered on, pleading with the West to help fight the growing terrorist threat.  On September 9th, 2001, two terrorists posing as journalists sneaked onto an airplane with bombs inside their cameras & proceeded to set up for an "interview" with Massoud.  One other man was present across the street preparing for the interview when he saw a bright flash of yellow light & then watched in horror as Massoud was carried out, badly injured.  The suicide bombers had killed him and become "martyrs".  

Two days later the Twin Towers would meet a similar fate along with 3,000+  Americans.

Within an hour of the attacks, the media had pinned them on Osama bin Laden & his Taliban--people most average Americans had never heard of at the time.  How did they know?  Maybe because they had advance warning and had ignored it until it was too late.  Massoud wasn't the only one to warn us ahead of time, to be sure:  John O'Neill of the FBI and Sibel Edmonds, a translator for the FBI, had also tried in vain to warn those in higher positions of what was coming but were given the brush-off.  Mr. O'Neill died in the 9/11 attacks that day--he was working at his new security job at the Twin Towers after becoming disillusioned with the FBI position.  According to close friend Chris Isham, O'Neill had joked that the terrorists would likely "finish the job" after the 1993 bombing of the WTC now that he'd decided to work there.  He was right.  

Massoud's Legacy

Ahmad Massoud, son of Shah Massoud

If there's one bright spot in this story, it's that Shah's son Ahmad Massoud carries on his father's fight against the Taliban today.  Son Ahmad leads the National Resistance Front of Afghanistan (NRFA) against the Taliban in the Panjshir Valley and says "surrender is not in his vocabulary".  Like his father, he's an educated man who supports a Swiss model of power relations in the country.  And like his father he's also asked for the international community's help in defeating the Taliban, who he claims is even "more radical" than before.  

If the West fails to support him and allows him to meet the same fate as his beloved father we will have only ourselves to blame when another terrorist strike happens at home or abroad.  Biden's claim that the Afghani resistance "isn't trying" is offensive to those who have been trying for decades and indeed before the September 11 attacks happened.  

Untreated ADHD: The Ultimate "Addictive Personality"

The phrase "addictive personality" is thrown around a lot in the addiction world, but what--and whom--does it refer to exactly?  A sensation-seeking hedonist who is drawn to things that feel good?  Sure.  A person with a mental illness?  Yes, people with mental or developmental disorders make up the bulk of the addiction population.  Someone with a history of trauma and negative memories lingering in their head that they're itching to escape with drugs?  Absolutely.  The link between trauma and addiction is stronger than the link between obesity and Type II diabetes.  

I'd like to hone in on these claims with a theory of my own:  that the ADHD personality is the penultimate addictive personality type, eclipsing even the depressed, bipolar or traumatized population in their tendency to self-medicate with drugs.  Hear me out.  

When most people think of ADHD, they tend to think of mere hyperactivity, daydreaming or ditzyness.  But it goes way, WAY deeper than that.  People with ADHD have a dysfunctional dopamine system.  Dopamine is the pleasure/reward chemical.  Humans get little bursts of it throughout the day as we do things like eating a warm meal, completing a chore, exercising or spending time with our children.  In the ADHD brain however, dopamine production is insufficient or otherwise dysfunctional, meaning sufferers feel nothing or feel even WORSE after attempting to complete any task that requires sustained effort--even tasks that make others feel rewarded and accomplished.  

As a result, we walk around in a state of perpetual boredom and under-arousal that feels like purgatory.  Doing almost anything other than our narrow set of hobbies is torture, including just getting out of bed in the morning.  This leads to a vicious cycle of getting less accomplished than our peers, causing us to feel terrible about ourselves in an endless loop of underachieving and self-hatred.  Our outer lives are often awash in clutter, poor hygiene, low self-esteem, forgetfulness, miscommunications, missed opportunities & more.  Our minds run laps around our bodies & are never truly at rest.  Depression is an ever-present companion.*  How could it not be?  By the time an un-medicated child reaches adulthood, they've incurred many traumatic memories due to the difficulty of living without the aid of proper treatment.  This puts them in several of the categories from the first paragraph of this article (escapism, depression, childhood trauma), making them a prime contender for addiction.

Thus, the first time someone with ADHD tries a substance like opiates, stimulants, weed or any other drug that stimulates dopamine, it's like a nearsighted person putting on glasses for the first time.  Everything snaps into focus; they feel "normal".  This is particularly true with stimulants like amphetamine or cocaine but applies to any drug really.   Dopamine is the key.  The more the better.  If the person is undiagnosed and doesn't know much about drugs, this is where addiction can really sink its teeth in.  Not everyone knows right away that more isn't necessarily better.

As an ADHD sufferer myself, I always disliked being 'fucked up' and out of control--I just wanted enough energy and motivation to not lay around all day and feel worthless.  But when you resort to trying street drugs without the aid of a doctor, you come across substances that lend themselves to abuse like research chemicals which are often insanely addictive (see: mephedrone).  I know for an absolute fact that if I'd had Adderall or a similar medication in my youth, my drug experimentation would've been drastically reduced.  Maybe I would've never tried anything other than weed.  Instead, I've been self-medicating for the last 17 years and have tried every class of drugs except inhalants as well as 23 psychiatric medications--mostly anti-depressants--to no avail.    

And it doesn't stop with drugs:  activities like gaming, social media addiction, porn, gambling, shopping, binge eating & other dopamine-stimulating activities are frequent vices for the ADHD sufferer.  Anything that offers an instant high or rush.  The "reward" chemical is intricately connected to this disorder due to our impulsivity and lack of endogenous supply of it.  

To Medicate or Not to Medicate?

Unsurprisingly, studies show that untreated ADHD in adults increases the risk of drug abuse exponentially.  One-fourth (25%) of substance abusers fit the clinical criteria for ADHD.  You can probably think of several celebrities who were diagnosed and ended up self-destructing with drugs (Kurt Cobain & Bradley Nowell of Sublime come to mind but there are many others who've come out as having the condition) which makes one wonder how many undiagnosed drug addicts are walking around.  Worse, there are parents right now who are denying their kids medication because they think it will actually increase the risk of drug addiction later or don't want them to be "dependent on a pill" because it's stigmatizing.  

While the decision to medicate is a big one with many benefits and drawbacks, these particular reasons are counter-intuitive as studies show you actually increase your child's risk of addiction by leaving them un-medicated.  Part of this is likely due to the trauma you're putting them through by allowing them to struggle as they flail through life without the supports needed to succeed academically, socially or otherwise.  (Remember the statistic about childhood trauma causing addiction mentioned above?)  It's akin to denying your disabled child a wheelchair or refusing your hearing impaired child a hearing aid.  This is not hyperbole.  While there are behavioral, dietary and other interventions that can and should be explored, ADHD is a neurological disorder at its core and requires a biological approach in the vast majority of cases.  

Do you honestly think the draconian DEA/FDA would allow stimulants to be prescribed to children if they hadn't been shown to work for ADHD, and produce dramatic results at that?  Uhh, no.  It's one of only two conditions they're FDA approved to treat, the other being narcolepsy.  (Vyvanse is also approved for Binge Eating Disorder but that's the exception).  You get the point.  Stimulants work for ADHD and are safe when taken in prescribed doses by people who need them.  They're not new medications either:  they've been in use since the 1920's so the long-term effects are well studied.  This ain't Vioxx or Fen-Phen here.  

Where's the Outrage?

So why isn't more made of this shocking link between ADHD and addiction?  Our society is positively plagued by addiction in all forms; it would seem wise to address the underlying causes.  We wring our hands about childhood diseases like autism while practically throwing kids with ADHD to the wolves.  Girls & poor kids in particular.  Like autism, ADHD is not merely a childhood disease that one grows out of--it's a lifelong neurological disorder that affects the core of a person's being.  Everything from career & academic prospects to relationships, family & social life are affected by it.  Even one's risk of falling into the criminal justice system or dying prematurely by accidents.  

Yet ADHD medication is inaccessible for a lot of people & those who can get it have to jump through flaming hoops due to strict government regulations, high costs & other factors.  This often causes people to resort to the only alternative available:  street drugs.  Meth, cocaine, MDMA, opiates & all the adulterants therein.  In the age of fentanyl, this has never been a more deadly game.  The abstinence-only rehab industry chews us up and spits us out, "clean and sober" and at a higher risk of overdose and death than before we went in due to a reduced drug tolerance.  If they don't understand this basic tenet--that we will never be truly free of addiction without treating our underlying ADHD--they're doing more harm than good.  

It's long past time for evidence-based drug rehabilitation tailored to meet the needs of the individual:  neurodivergence and all.  

*Note:  I'm speaking mostly of the inattentive subtype of ADHD from which I suffer.  There are other subtypes with other predominant symptoms.  I'm not a medical professional (duh) and don't presume to know what's best for you or your kid so talk to your doctor and do some serious introspection if you're a parent agonizing over whether to medicate.

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What if... (Surviving Human Extinction in Two Phases)

...COVID keeps mutating faster than people can get vaccinated, or the vaccine no longer works for the new variants that arise?  It then becomes as contagious than the most contagious disease in existence--measles--and so deadly that there's no surviving for the vast majority of the population?  And it drives humanity into a state of mass death beyond anything we've seen thus far?  I'm talking a near-extinction event where only a few hundred thousand or million people remain on the entire Earth.  

This could be the breaking point event climate scientists have warned about for years but projected to be much further into the future.  We knew diseases were going to get worse with climate change, we just didn't know what it'd look like or how soon it'd happen.  Mosquito & tick-borne diseases, "Nipah"--a disease with a 70% death rate, hemorrhagic fevers like Ebola and Marburg, the coronavirus family (SARS, MERS, COVID)... the list goes on.  All of these are projected to become more erratic & severe due to climate change.  

But if COVID is the one that does us in, what would that look like?  If you were one of the last few thousand people alive, what would your game plan be for surviving doomsday & emerging victorious?  Would you refer to all the stupid zombie movies you've seen or would you have an actual plan?  People focus on their personal arsenal as a way to protect themselves but that's only part of the picture.  Personally, I know that guns & ammo are not enough to sustain me in the event of an extinction level crisis.  It helps to be able to protect your belongings from thieves but it's not the be-all, end-all.  You'd need to know how to filter water, grow food, build protective structures & do other basic tasks to ensure your survival (assuming society as we know it--buildings, roads & infrastructure--were wiped out).  There's no reason to think we'd have to permanently live in the forest like survivalists seem to think... at least not in this COVID death scenario.  That's more of a nuclear warfare thing.  

Having been to Burning Man (in a tent, not a fancy RV) and similar harsh environment "roughing it" events, I've experienced what it's like to live out in the elements & rely on your own foresight & grit for your survival.  There are moments of pure bliss and sheer misery--it's not something I'd want to do more than once, honestly.  But living in a post-apocalyptic world with fewer people would presumably not be as harsh as that.  We wouldn't be thrust into a scalding desert environment with alkaline sand blowing in our faces & no modern structures for comfort.  

There would likely be a period of total isolation during the pandemic where you'd need to live completely alone to avoid infection, but once that's over things would return to relative normalcy.  Reading accounts of what addicts did during Hurricane Katrina gives an idea of what one can expect during a disaster of that magnitude, and a COVID apocalypse wouldn't even look like a weather disaster (though those are coming with climate crisis at our door).  

Survival in Two Phases

I imagine a disease extinction event would go in two main phases:  the Isolation Phase and the Return to Normalcy.  During isolation you'd need to live completely separate from all other people (or with only 1 or 2 others, max) to avoid contracting the new mutant version of the virus, wearing whatever masks, gloves & other PPE you've acquired to keep yourself safe.  You'd also have to employ survival tactics like hunting, gathering & fishing if you lived in the wild unless you were able to somehow acquire a long-lasting supply of food & water that didn't require you to come in contact with anyone else.  This phase would be the true test of your survival skills & mental fortitude.  I'm not talking about a camping trip here.  This is an all-seasons exile of unknown duration requiring extreme rationing & self-sufficiency.  Think "Into the Wild" but not in Alaska... just the wilderness in whatever state/country you're currently located.  Would you be able to abandon the comforts of the modern world and everyone you love if it meant saving your own life?  

The Return to Normalcy would be the fun part.  Well, after you grieved everyone you lost to the plague of course.  It's basically what it sounds like:  emerging from your hidey hole and seeing who and what still remained after the viral holocaust.  Assuming infrastructure like buildings, roads & indoor plumbing were still up and running, this Brave New World might be preferable to what you left behind.  Fewer people, less traffic, no pointless non-essential jobs, no social image to maintain.  A chance to start your life completely from scratch and focus on your own survival and happiness.  Where would you go first?  What would you do?  Capitalism is dead.  Money has no meaning--people need goods & services.  Bartering is the new currency.  

After stocking up on essentials like food and water, I'd hit up the pharmacies & raid them for drugs, then the dispensaries.  Drugs are important to have in your survival stash & who knows if my doctor would survive the mass extinction?  Yes, drugs need to be hoarded along with other medical equipment like masks, syringes, Band-Aids, rubbing alcohol & other First-Aid items.  But if you could have ANY drug you wanted?  I'd go for the Dilaudid, OxyContin, Desoxyn, phendimetrazine, Mydayis, Adderall, Seconal, Epidiolex (expensive CBD) & Rohypnol.  And at the weed shops I'd pick up whatever top shelf product they had with a hybrid or indica bent along with the nicest vapes & smoke supplies.  Then get busy growing my own opium poppies & weed in the fields behind my house.  And everywhere else there's a free patch of land, fuck it.  

Next I'd head to the home furnishing stores & trick out my house (read: mansion).  Just get all the things I could never afford & hope all the remaining people on Earth were doing the same and having a DAMN good time doing it.  Have my pick of any vehicle at the car lots--a Lambo?  Or maybe one of these bad boys?  After "shopping" I'd be sure to drop all my extra stuff off at the donation site for whoever needs it.  I have tons of old clothes, shoes, canned goods, tools & other things that are in excellent condition.  There's enough to go around in this new land of abundance.  No homelessness, hunger or poverty and far fewer people to fight over resources.  

Even if COVID doesn't lead to an end-of-days scenario and we get it under control ultimately, the climate crisis is imminent.  The IPCC just issued its most dire warning ever, stating that we're now "locked in" to our current state of extreme weather for centuries or millennia and may start seeing "1000-year storms" as 100-year storms become the norm.  Hurricane Ida's overland trip from Louisiana to New York, bringing unprecedented wedge tornadoes & subway flooding while the West Coast burned all summer is just a taste of what's to come.  The human race's future looks murky at best.  Perhaps a disease wiping out 90% of humanity would be just the thing needed to halt climate change?  I don't see us collectively making the necessary changes otherwise.  

Now would be a great time to reassess how you live your life & what priorities you are putting at the top of your list.  We're all gonna die individually anyway, but the whole human race's extinction could be a LOT closer than any of us anticipated.  Maybe that 70-hour work week fueled by Starbucks & stress should take a backseat to your own happiness for once?  

Of course this is a silly fictional post.  I've never looted or stolen anything in my life so chill tf out, Karens.  But with the 4th wave/Delta variant upon us, it's an interesting and timely--if far-fetched--thing to think about.  My survival brain has always kept the possibility of survivalism/end times somewhere in the back of my mind and I have started a nice little drug & mask hoard "just in case".  If shit hits the fan, do you have what it takes to make it in complete isolation from everyone until it all blows over?  If the social paradigm goes tits up, do you have the adaptive skills Darwin deemed necessary to survive?