As someone with several anxiety disorders, I know all too well how these conditions can warp one's perception--particularly the perception of risk. Anxiety about medical procedures can make a vaccine seem more dangerous than the disease it's meant to prevent or a colonoscopy seem more horrifying than the Stage IV colon cancer it will almost certainly save you from when it catches those pre-cancerous polyps. A tiny harmless spider might cause an arachnophobe to run barefoot out of the safety of their cabin into the dark, snowy woods where actual danger awaits while a fear of public speaking can prevent an otherwise brilliant worker from advancing in their career.
The stark contrast between flying with and without the aid of Xanax put this warped perception sharply into focus for me: my first flight was "raw dog," aka sans medication. I spent it paralyzed in a state of abject terror, fearing the plane would fall at any moment. As we started to descend, my stomach was in my throat and I cried as the sweet ladies next to me held my hand, telling me everything was fine despite every fiber of my being telling me otherwise. My subsequent flights were all medicated and I couldn't have cared less if we crashed. As the flight attendant told us how to access our flotation devices, I recall thinking "Ugh, who the hell wants to reach all the way under the seat to grab the thing? If we die, we die. I have a nap to take."
It was the same with my endoscopy. I spent months freaking out to my therapist (who I hired just for that occasion) about how I would never make it to the clinic due to fear. But once it was over and the propofol had worked its magic, I actually found it kinda fun. If I could go back in time & tell my pre-endoscopy self not to waste so much time literally sickening myself with worry, I would. But would I have listened?
No, because anxiety is not a rational disorder. It doesn't listen to reason.
Except that it kinda does. Anxiety doesn't respond well to unhelpful tropes like "calm down!" or "everything's fine," but it does listen to statistics & scientific facts. That's because most of the things we worry about are blown way out of proportion & looking into the ACTUAL risks often proves that we're indeed overreacting. It's just not helpful for others to tell us that when we're in the midst of a panic spiral.
While it's definitely possible to overdo it with the obsessing, Googling & thought-looping, having a little factual knowledge about the true risks of a given anxiety trigger can help put your fears to rest if you know when to stop. Combined with physical relaxation techniques like deep rhythmic breathing, guided visualization, mindfulness meditation, biofeedback & massage, knowledge can be empowering in the right doses. But you must know how to contextualize the risks of what you're learning about and when to stop looking into a topic. I can't stress the "know when to stop" part enough. I'm talking to you, fellow OCD heads.
Assessing Risks & Benefits
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| Better decision-making starts here |
One thing American schools are notoriously bad at is teaching Risk-Benefit Ratio. This became abundantly clear during the COVID pandemic as society fell apart arguing over everything from the harms of distance learning to vaccine safety to whether masks caused "oxygen deprivation". 😒 Understanding the short- and long-term risks of a given intervention vs. the opposing alternative is vital for good decision making. But this must be done based on facts, not emotions or desires. Just because something causes temporary discomfort, inconvenience or anxiety does not necessarily make it a worse option. It's only a worse option if the stress it causes is not worth the potential benefits it brings. If the long-term pros outweigh the short-term cons, you should proceed regardless of any temporary discomfort.
For instance: does wearing a face mask reduce the risk or severity of COVID infection enough to justify the discomfort of wearing one? This is easily testable & has been proven down to the type of mask & the distance that different-sized virus droplets can travel. Verdict: While masks don't entirely prevent the spread of COVID, they lower the viral load in the air (significantly when everyone wears them) & thus decrease the severity of infection when worn consistently & properly in indoor spaces. And since COVID has killed 1,087,880 Americans & sickened many more at the time of this writing, that would make wearing one well worth the temporary discomfort by almost any measure because masks are a practically risk-free intervention. They needn't be worn outdoors or during seasons when COVID rates are low unless you prefer to, but the benefits definitely outweigh the drawbacks during times when infection rates are high.
But back to anxiety. It has increased exponentially for many of us due to the pandemic, economic uncertainty & the political unrest in recent years. Cases of OCD, eating disorders, generalized and social anxiety are skyrocketing around the country as kids are forced to adapt to new learning environments & losing loved ones to COVID. Marriages are strained to the breaking point; domestic abuse is soaring. Teachers are thrown back into classrooms that feel like Ground Zero for the Culture Wars without adequate pay or resources. Nurses are running on fumes; the postal service is falling apart. Mass shootings seem like an every day occurrence. Nobody seems to trust our institutions or experts. What's a person with a pre-existing anxiety disorder to do?
Aside from therapy & medication*, my best advice would be to unplug from the constant stream of bad news. Whether that's social media, television or your coworker who likes to complain & be negative, make a conscious effort to curate the information and opinions entering your daily information bubble. While we can't control everything bad in this world, we can control what we do with our free time, and we don't have to spend it doomscrolling or watching 24-hour blood-and-guts news on FOX & CNN. I use a Facebook filter called FB Purity that allows me to remove keywords & related stories I don't want to see in my feed, and it's life changing. (Especially around election season or when a new scary disease breaks out).
Also make sure not to over-book yourself or take on too many responsibilities. Staying busy is a common coping mechanism anxious people adopt to avoid sitting with their feelings. The result is exhaustion, lowered immunity & exploitation. When you feel like you may be taking on too much or running from unpleasant feelings, give yourself the tender loving care you'd give a friend or loved one in that situation: a relaxing day at the spa, kind words of affirming encouragement or a carefree day of play like when you were a child on holiday break. Say "no" to taking on extra tasks if no is your kneejerk reaction. If it feels like your boss, romantic partner or friend is making unreasonable requests of you, simply look around: are other people in the situation carrying less weight than you? Why should they be allowed to do less while you wear yourself out only to end up at the same destination? They shouldn't, but you've got to let them know by assertively telling them how you feel before things reach a crisis point.
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| Many anxious people vacillate between passive & aggressive. Strive for assertiveness. |
Whatever you do, make time each day to focus on your mental and physical well-being, & try to remember that anxiety DOES have a unique ability to warp your perception of reality, making situations seem worse than they really are. While it does matter if the plane crashes, the likelihood of it happening is much lower than your anxiety would have you believe.
*By medication I do not mean benzodiazepines, which should be reserved for occasional panic attacks or situations where severe anxiety is anticipated (flying, medical procedures, public speaking). Using benzos daily or even several days a week for long periods will cause rebound anxiety that's infinitely worse than your baseline anxiety in most cases & can even lead to clinical depression or mania in people who are not bipolar.
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