On Boundary Violation in the Alphabet Community

🖕

I keep seeing posts about how labels like "lesbian" or "gay" mean whatever the individual using them wants them to mean, or that women who are attracted to males can call themselves lesbians.  Sure, you can say lesbianism includes women who date/fuck/love men.  And I could identify as a proud Black woman or an Army veteran who earned a purple heart in Vietnam.  The difference is I'd get ripped to shreds for saying such things (rightfully so!) and you'd probably just get some eyerolls, if that. 

That's because women--especially those who exclusively love other women--are the only group it's still okay to randomly "identify as" when you're nothing of the sort.  The only group viewed by mainstream society as little more than a porn category despite being the only group not GIVEN a porn search option on most sites.  The only group constantly pressured by bisexual & transgender folk about our ORIENTATION, as in "it's biphobic/transphobic to exclude us from your dating pool!"  What part of "orientation" don't we understand?  No means no, not "keep negotiating like a used car salesman".  🙄

This is why I despise the word "queer":  it's a catchall, meaningless term that erases/minimizes gay & lesbian identities & stomps on our boundaries, just as Newspeak-y misogynistic terms like "vagina owner," "birthing person" and "chest-feeder" do.  One day you're celebrating the legalization of gay marriage & the next you're watching female boxers get knocked tf out by hulking intersex or trans fighters as pedophiles proudly identify as "MAPS" (Minor Attracted Persons) or "Virtuous p3dophiles" (yes, really).  How'd we get here? 

Answer:  The "queering" of society & the blurring of consent lines.  By turning "woman" into a catchall class that includes everyone from females to trans-identifying males and females (both of whom can compete in the "women's" category in sports) while men are faced with no such problems.  By the degradation of the English language and the intentional destruction of the MEANING behind words, specifically those used to identify females and lesbians.  Who's behind this agenda the TQ+ folx are pushing so hard? 

The "agenda" is to make all sexual orientations, kinks, fetishes & paraphilias "normal" by gradually widening the circle, taking what used to be a strictly orientation-based group (LGB people) and expanding it to include others.  Many others, including some criminal others.  Gay/Bi/Lesbian people are now "Queer"; "woman" now includes both sexes and the imaginary third "non-binary" option; "love is love" apparently extends to chomos & proud pedophiles.  And whoomp, there it is.  ^^^  They've been doing this to gays since the '60s/'70s with groups like NAMBLA and PIE trying to tag along at Pride parades.  And until about 2012, LGB people fought against them as hard as we fought FOR marriage equality.  

Not so anymore.




Back to the Bad Old Days

Was this homophobic hatemonger right?

Those of us older than 30 remember a time when it wasn't like this.  We're going backwards & this time it's not conservatives sending us there.  Anita Bryant warned of homosexuals who tried to "convert" children by brainwashing and sexually abusing them, and I'll be damned if she wasn't right about some of you gendercult convertees.  The push to transition children behind their parents' backs at public school, peddle dangerous puberty blockers and put males in female spaces (and detractors on gov't watch lists) is not about inclusion or acceptance of transpeople.  It's societal grooming carried out by gradually lowering our defenses & desensitizing us to increasingly extreme shit.  You don't want acceptance, you want to destroy the last taboo, aka p3dophilia or whatever your specific "kink" is.  Maybe crossdressing in public, breastfeeding, menstruation or pregnancy.  The pedo wing of this movement wants to keep kids in a perpetual Peter Pan-like state of prepubescence via puberty blockers and cross-sex hormones.  So you can hopefully see our concern.

I've identified 4 distinct groups that take shelter under the TQIA+ umbrella.  These are:  the autogynephiles/fetishists, the Munchausen Moms & fundie parents who'd rather have a straight daughter than a gay son or are angling for their own show on TLC a la Jazz Jennings' mother; the pedophiles & the Cluster B's (narcissists, borderline personalities, histrionics & anti-social PD).  Of course this doesn't include the victims, who mostly consist of gay youth, autistics, adolescent/teen girls trying to escape the male gaze/objectification & the overtly mentally ill.  You may have noticed someone missing from this group that bears its name:  actual transsexuals who truly want to live as their desired sex WITHOUT forcing the world to play along.

For all of modern history, fetish behavior like "sissification" and crossdressing stayed behind closed doors, but that's not good enough anymore.  Porn has desensitized men to everything humans innately consider disturbing/humiliating/wrong, so they have to keep upping the ante with more extreme content & behavior.  (Or should I say, their own unwillingness/inability to control their porn consumption habits has caused this, because no inanimate object--be it porn, drugs or other vices--"makes" you do anything.  It's a choice & we need to start treating it as such).  And whaddya know:  by simply identifying as trans and taking no further steps, they've been granted free reign of women's safe spaces, from locker rooms and bathrooms to women's prisons & rape crisis centers, the latter 2 being by far the most dangerous & egregious.  Imagine being locked in a cell with a 6'2 nonbinary genderqueer in for violent sex crimes against women or kids, an all too common occurrence in this population.

Anyone with the critical thinking skills God gave a piss ant can see the other goal of this movement:  undoing the gains made by Women's Lib & the Gay Rights movements of the late 20th Century.  While this isn't the (conscious) goal of every trans or "queer" person, it is for a select powerful few at the top of key institutions who hide in plain sight behind the guise of "progressivism."  In reality they're nuking women's hard-won gains like Title IX and drawing general disapproval for lesbians and gays for the first time in a decade.  It's a men's rights movement at its core and if all the above isn't a deal breaker for you, then you're just as culpable.






Bisexual Self-Deception: The Real "Biphobia"

Refusal to date/fuck you is not a "phobia".  This is rapey af.

Sadly the T's & Q's aren't the only ones stomping on peoples' boundaries in this "movement."  Bisexuals, many of whom view men and women as interchangeable and say things like "I fall in love with the soul, not the body" are just as bad.  Modern bisexuals tend to fall into two equally maladjusted categories:  those who claim "everyone's a little bi" & those who go in the other extreme direction, diving headlong into denial that THEY are bisexual despite all the evidence while trying to redefine lesbianism to include them.  Spoiler:  it doesn't and never will.

Here's a little refresher for those who are confused:   

Homosexual = exclusively attracted to the same sex

Heterosexual = exclusively attracted to the opposite sex

Bisexual = attracted to both sexes

Pansexual = attracted to people regardless of sex/gender identity

Asexual = not attracted to anyone sexually

See how that works?

On another note, bisexuality doesn't necessarily mean you like both sexes equally or in the same way throughout your life.  It can be static or fluid (see: the "bi-cycle") but either way, bisexuals have the option to date/marry/have biological kids with the opposite sex at some point, and that comes with a lot of privileges. Not to say bisexuals don't face their own unique form of oppression, but that's just it:  it's not interchangeable with ours.  This is why accurate, well-defined descriptive terms are needed.  Not vague words like "queer".  

And while we're on the subject: a person's refusal to date or fuck you for ANY reason is not discrimination or oppression.  It's a right we all have.  Nobody owes you their affection or attraction, nor do they owe you an explanation for why they're not giving it.  Rejection sucks but it's a normal, necessary part of dating and relationships.  Your choices are:  1.)  Cope, or 2.)  remain forever single.  That's where your rights end.  

Better than WHAT?  Quit fetishizing this.

Male Exclusion:  A Feature of Lesbianism, not a Bug

Lesbianism (and other forms of monosexuality) are not fluid or changing.  We will never "make an exception" for a man even if we want nothing more in the world than to be "normal," make our parents proud or be accepted by our faith community.  Even if being lesbian brings financial struggles because men still make more money than women for doing the same work.  Even if our dating pool is tiny & full of maladjusted people, some of whom are literally insane due to dealing with a lifetime of homophobia & exclusion.  Even if we're literally gaybashed, harassed & physically threatened due to our sexuality...  Told we're destined to burn in Hell for all eternity.  Disowned.  Kicked out or removed from the will.  And so on. 

And why is that?  Because we can't simply decide to be attracted to men when one who checks all the "right boxes" takes interest in us.  Or when our entire family AND faith community are pressuring us to marry & start a family.  Or any other situation.  That's because we're 0% attracted to men sexually or romantically.  Many of us are physically repulsed by them.  Not all of us, and it's not a moral revulsion, but the smell of a man, his body hair, bodily fluids and body parts--all elicit an innate "ick" response.  (Sorry if this sounds pedantic to those with an IQ in the triple-digits but I'm spelling it out for the bisexuals who haven't grasped that their worldview doesn't apply to everyone).  

Gays & bisexuals are different in other important ways too.  Unless you're lucky enough to go to a giant school in a progressive area, lesbians & gays missed out on an entire developmental stage in middle/high school:  first date, first kiss, prom, homecoming, first sexual experience, first committed relationship.  These vital formative events are delayed until we break free from our families, small towns or backward communities & gain the freedom to live our truths--which sometimes doesn't happen until the golden years of life (if at all).  But in the meantime one thing we AREN'T doing is sleeping with the opposite sex and enjoying it. 

Bisexuals at least have the OPTION to experience those "firsts" in their teen years by being in an opposite-sex relationship if the opportunity presents itself.  They're not guaranteed those things, of course, but their sexual orientation doesn't preclude them from experiencing them.  And what often happens to lesbians while their peers are having those wonderful formative experiences is a lot worse than the usual lesbian longing:  We're often violated or taken advantage of by predatory males who refuse to take no for an answer. 

Again, "not all lesbians" are violated by men nor can those things TURN you gay, but it's certainly something that can happen when a smaller/weaker woman says 'no' repeatedly to numerous horny teenage or 20-smtg males because she's sickened by the mere concept of sex with them.  As a lesbian whose only sexual encounters with men were non-consensual and occurred after saying "no," "stop" or "take me home" clearly/repeatedly, this definitely adds to my disgust toward the male of the species--a disgust that was already present due to my orientation but was taken 20 steps further by these encounters.  (The fact that I even feel the need to fucking disclose this to a bunch of online strangers to explain/justify my orientation is proof that lesbians aren't taken seriously as a class and misogyny is the rule rather than the exception).    

Meanwhile our refusal to "just give men a try" is often painted as closed-mindedness by bisexuals, which would be funny if not so fucked up.  It's our orientation. Something we didn't choose & can't change. Something that affects every aspect of our lives profoundly, often negatively.  Read that until you understand it.





Words Have Meanings:  Taking Back "Lesbian"

Respect this or catch a canister of mace to the face.

While you don't need to be a "Gold star" to be considered lesbian, you can't enjoy sex or romance with men.  Any men, even "that special one".  A lesbian would choose lifelong celibacy if she was the last woman on Earth and every man around her was a former GQ Man of the Year or Forbes 500 member.  That is to say, there's literally NO circumstance under which an actual lesbian would choose to date, love or sleep with a man.  BECAUSE ATTRACTION AND REVULSION ARE NOT A CHOICE.  Key words:  choose/choice.  Short of a religious fundamentalist upbringing by parents who control her every move, no lesbian would ever date or sleep with a man of her own volition, nor would she enjoy any aspect of it enough to repeat the experience or make it "official" with a male-female relationship.  Not willingly at least.  

The fact that (gay or straight) men's identities are not up for debate like this is proof positive that misogyny and lesbophobia are still a huge problem.  It's giving corrective rape & it needs to stop.  While you work on that, also stop generalizing YOUR bisexual experience to people it doesn't apply to. Namely straight and (especially) gay people who are already dealing with enough.  Sexual orientation is not a matter of open/closed-mindedness, and claiming it is makes you a homophobe.  Like, a real one and not a "waaaah she won't sleep with me!" faux-phobe.

Don't nobody wanna deal with this, least of all lesbians.  

And one more thing.  A question really.  Why do bisexual women so often insist on dating straight men or lesbian women rather than other bisexual men & women who love like they do?  That's pretty telling in itself, especially if "everyone is a little bi".  If these bisexual-monosexual relationships happen naturally, fine.  But there's no denying that the lesbian-bi woman relationship is nearly fetishized in many circles, pushed on a captive audience (lesbians) by bisexual women for whom we're merely an option. 

Plenty of lesbians are open to dating bi women, but not all of us are interested in navigating the challenges inherent in a mixed-orientation relationship.  That's not a "phobia," nor are lesbians "threatened" by your attraction to men.  We're turned off by it, and by the general uncertainty of bisexuality which the bi-cycle article linked above goes into at length.  And we have every right to include or exclude you as a potential partner as a result of this or any other trait we find unattractive or incompatible.  You have the same right.  Be grateful we all have this freedom because not everyone in the world does. 

To those in active denial, quit making up terms like "bisexualesbian" and accept your bisexuality for what it is.  Even if you're 99% attracted to women and 1% to men, you're not gay as long as that 1% exists. It's the potential for attraction to men, not whether you're currently attracted to one that counts when determining if you're lesbian or bi.  Around 85% of bi women end up marrying & reproducing with MEN, so even if we were "threatened" by your attraction to them, it would be wholly justified.  

If indeed biphobia exists, it's strongest among bisexuals who twist themselves into pretzels to deny their true identity in favor of boundary- and common sense-defying labels.  By stomping gays' boundaries while crying "biphobia" and minimizing differences between the sexes in favor of a "gendered soul" worldview, this part of the alphabet rainbow behaves more like the trans wing than they do the lesbians and gays.  Generalizing, of course.  But this definitely applies to the most vocal portion such as the /r/bisexual community on Reddit.  

Thanks for attending my TED Rant.  Please feel free to die mad in the comments.  ↷ 

On Trump's Hemp/CBD Ban

Coming off the disastrous gov't shutdown, Our Liar in Thief passed a sneaky bill that quietly undoes all the progress of the Farm Bill of 2018 which legalized hemp/CBD products containing 0.03% THC or less.  And just like that, a $28 billion industry was wiped out overnight.  That's right:  this tight-eyed motherfucker, who proudly posed with a pornstar while appearing stoned out of his orange gourd, has banned hemp products:

High much?

The deal was pushed by ancient-ass Mitch McConnell, notorious recipient of alcohol & tobacco industry funding.  Why wiping out all these paying jobs would be considered part of the "deal" to reopen the government is beyond me, and whether it should even be legal for such consequential things to be tacked on at the end of bills nobody reads before signing is highly debatable.  If it's that easy for one person to make sweeping federal changes, why doesn't some Democrat legalize all drugs?  Or make abortion legal across all 50 states?  If Republicans can issue blanket bans at the orders of one fucked up old fossil, we should've seen a LOT more progress by now from the "opposition".  It's clear these sneaky bill addendums are reserved for taking the country backward & penalizing hardworking, law-abiding Americans.  

Here's a rundown of the effects this idiotic ban will have:

The proposal would redefine hemp under federal law, banning Delta-8, THCA flower, THC-P, and other intoxicating hemp products that have filled shelves since the 2018 Farm Bill. But it doesn't stop there: the bill will also effectively outlaw non-prescription CBD products by limiting the entire package/container to no more than 0.04% THC--an unattainable number. That means your child with Dravet Syndrome who has 30 seizures a day & relies on affordable OTC cannabidiol is now shit out of luck. Well, unless you can afford the up to $83,193 price tag for a year of Epidiolex, the Rx version of CBD. It's unknown how this bill will affect the sale of cannabis (marijuana) seeds, which are considered hemp products under the 2018 Farm Bill, or how the entire thing will be applied in states that've legalized recreational or medicinal cannabis.

Oh please, this whore for the poison-shilling industries never had a "soul".

Methinks this is the end goal:  to outlaw actually-effective supplements and force Americans to pay 3 times for their medicine--once to the private insurer, once to the prescriber and once again at the pharmacy.  It's BEEN the motivation behind the relentless drive to ban kratom, which could easily happen at this point with the way things are going. Whether you use hemp/CBD products or not, you should be fighting mad that one or two corporate-funded politicians can render a whole industry dead with the stroke of a pen. Because it could happen to YOUR job, industry or medicine next. 

I've written before about shady attempts by the FDA to ban supplements that've never killed a single soul, rendering them available by Rx only.  Many such bans passed as part of the "COVID Cares Act" under Biden so this is by no means a partisan issue.  Indeed, Obama twisted China's arm to ban 116 research chemicals with one bill in 2016, effectively kicking off the fentanyl epidemic when those RC labs switched to making fentanyl analogues instead of "bath salts" or "Spice".  Prior to this, even the DISCUSSION of opioid research chemicals was forbidden in online RC forums.  No, this isn't a partisan issue: It's an issue of allowing representatives with ulterior motives to quietly pass earth-shattering laws that should absolutely be up for popular vote, if not Congressional vote. 

These bans are not intended to protect the public but to eliminate competition & protect the profits of the pharmaceutical, private health insurance, alcohol, tobacco & drug testing industries.  You can hawk ineffective or even dangerous supplements all day, but as soon as it becomes clear that a supplement is taking $$$ out of these industries' greedy mouths because it actually works, it's a wrap.  We saw 80+ years of this with cannabis, they've tried it with kratom which competes with opioids, sleep aids, antidepressants & other patented drugs & they tried it previously with CBD when Epidiolex was hitting the market. Enough is enough.  We're essentially allowing Big Pharma to write our drug laws--laws responsible for an untold amount of death & suffering due to adulteration of the illicit drug supply & zero-tolerance drug education that doesn't work.

See?  Even Google AI admits it was profit-driven!

All these crooked bougie motherfuckers have been waving a potential federal rescheduling or decriminalization of THC/cannabis in front of our faces for DECADES (since the Carter administration!) without a single step made toward that end, yet one bill we didn't even get to vote on can wipe out the entire legal hemp industry overnight?  Something's very wrong with that picture.  And again, it's not a Republican/Democrat thing other than the fact that both sides are guilty of using these backdoor bans to their advantage & our detriment.  If it's this easy to make sweeping changes to American industry & drug law without even alerting the public first, we may as well have never left the monarchy because we're being ruled by an all-powerful untouchable class that acts as judge, jury & executioner.  Our input not needed.

And y'all wonder why I say voting in its current form is useless.  We've got a "representative" government that does NOT represent us, any of us.  Black, white, old, young, middle class, poor, healthy, disabled or otherwise.  Here's hoping all you conservatives in the hemp industries of Kentucky, Texas, rural Oregon, Florida & Utah realize you voted for a crooked con artist who doesn't give one shit about you.  Not one.  With his billionaire cronies, Trump has brought about more financial stress to Americans via federal firings, layoffs, destruction of social welfare programs/SSI & now, the wiping out of an entire legal industry than any administration in recent memory.  They don't want us on welfare, but they're also destroying the few decent jobs we have available & doing fuckall to ensure that employers are required to pay workers a living wage.  You're gonna have to pick one because people have to eat.  In the words of Bob Marley, "A hungry man is an angry man".  And that's where I'll sign off.

Hi!  ✌😀  Like this article?  Drop a donation in one of the accounts below.  Google AdSense does not support "drug-related" content so I rely on your contributions to keep this blog running.  It's hard out here for an independent freelance writer in the digital age.  Thank you!

BITCOIN:
18cwb3qFkGghVqqzNSX59EFypzzF8Dd7Vg

BITCOIN CASH:
qz84t4ua2achx90a7yk8efelvufggflhu5tzalry7l

Boycott Google Chromebook

Let the record reflect that Google Chromebooks fucking suck monkey balls.  While there are some convenient things about them (being able to switch to a new laptop and just magically have all your saved files available), that comes with a cost and the bad far outweighs the good.

Let's start with the fact that you literally can't delete saved files.  Well, you CAN but it takes forever and half the time you get an error message like this: 

Results when I try to delete literally any file from Chromebook.

This becomes especially problematic when you run out of storage space & your laptop starts lagging/glitching.  At that point, you're given two options:  delete the files (can't) or buy more memory (won't).  Yeah, I already bought the computer so you can get all the way bent if you think I'm spending more to store said files on the computer I already own.  I'm no rocket surgeon, but I strongly suspect the reason they make it so hard to delete files is so you will buy more space.  Call me a conspiracy theorist if you please.  

Then there's the "app" issue.  Why would a laptop need to download an app?  Isn't that a phone thing?  No.  Turns out it's not exclusively a phone thing.  Yet all the Android apps are developed for (wait for it) an ANDROID PHONE, which Chromebook is not.  This means they don't work properly on Chromebooks, or if they do, the display is so funked up it's as good as useless.  Apps are notoriously less secure than websites, and the fact that Chromebook requires you to download them is just another opportunity to upsell you shit.  Because so many apps are not free.  Or the free version has limited features.  Or the free version sucks.  Or tries to sell you MORE shit in the form of popup ads.  You get the picture.

Play Store's results when searching "Youtube app"

Speaking of apps, I recently went to reinstall the Youtube app from the Google Play Store only to find it's notably absent.  Instead, they offer you an assortment of other video player apps that are NOT Youtube.  Why reinstall Youtube, you ask?  Because every time I click a new video, I get this error message after approximately 1 minute of watching:

So frustrating.

So YT is useless on this contraption & there's no option to do a fresh install.  Coincidentally (or not), YT is owned by Google so again, the question of whether this is by design comes into play.  It's bad enough YT made it impossible to block ads and tries to get you to buy the paid versions (YT Premium, YT Premium Lite, YT Music, etc,) but this is a step too far.

THEN there's the privacy issue.  This one is huge so stay w/ me.  When you search Google regarding the privacy level of Google Drive, it says "Yes, Google Drive is private, photos are set to private by default, etc."  But when you ask Google whether Google employees can access/view your Drive files, you get a very different answer:  (Try searching "Is Google Drive private?" followed by "Is Google Drive private from Google employees" to see for yourself).

"Private to you?"  Nice word trickery.

Yeah, so not private at all.  And what are the "specific circumstances" that allow them to access your files?  What's to stop them from just doing it because they fucking FEEL like it?  After watching a special on the epidemic of computer repairmen rifling through private saved files on personal devices, I no longer have ANY faith that these powerful creeps aren't doing the same thing at Google.  The bad thing is you'd never know & have no way to prove it if they were.  Saved files (photos, documents, videos & all the rest) have always been private by default in that they were saved to the actual device and not some poorly defined "cloud".  As something of a digital hoarder, my device is full of said files, some of which are highly intimate/private.  The thought that some twisted troon techie is perusing my saved files with his girldick in one hand and a Redbull in the other makes my stomach turn.  

And then there are these issues.  It seems Google's lack of privacy & informed consent is an ongoing, worsening situation. 

Gemini AI scans your gmails

Google Search deterioration

Google charges your bank account for using auto fill for debit/credit cards


That's right:  They literally charge your bank account for using autofill to save your CC/debit card info in Chrome.  And you're never informed that this will happen.  I found this out after receiving repeated fraud alerts from my bank concerning $1 monthly charges from Google Play, which I don't (knowingly) use.  In my opinion this is worse than the Google Incognito thing that they're currently facing a class action lawsuit for due to the lack of informed consent.  If another class action pops off, let's just say I'll be first to sign on.  If a greedy ass bank flags it as fraudulent, that pretty much means it is.


Conclusion

Yes, Chromebooks are affordable.  But there are better options in the same price range.  Damn near any Windows laptop is gonna be more secure, have more storage space & just be a better option all around.  That's because Windows saves files to your actual device and doesn't try to upsell you on storage space.  Yes, Chromebooks aren't susceptible to viruses like other PCs, but the privacy issue is so much worse than any spyware virus you could ever encounter that it cancels out the good.  The overall performance, durability & function of Chromebooks is shit-tier.  Like really, really bad. 

I've taken to uploading my Google Drive files to sites like Proton Drive that offer free encrypted storage.  Then I just mass delete the whole folder from my Chromebook to free up space.  This eliminates the problem of having to manually delete individual files (which you really can't do on Chromebooks) while securing your files via encryption in a way that Google employees CAN'T access.  Nordlocker and MEGA are other viable options for avoiding the Google storage sales pitch while freeing up memory.  Just never forget your login info or you lose all your files.

These are all Google-owned products/services.

When you consider all the apps/sites owned by Google, it all becomes a little too Big Brother/1984.  This is why monopolies are bad.  Where is the FTC to break up this sham?  When the entire internet crashed recently, it was because Amazon's servers weren't functioning.  One company's glitch rendered 1/3rd of the ENTIRE INTERNET unreachable.  If that doesn't scare/enrage you, it should.  We're talking a third of the entire planet's communication, information & connection capabilities.  Sites like Doxy, ehrs (electronic health records) & Salesforce that medical professionals & social workers use for their jobs--gone.  Google's ownership of so many different products, services & sites is setting them up to be  as powerful as Amazon.  The very site I'm typing this on?  Owned by Google.  The device I'm sending it from?  Google product.  The Android phone you're likely reading it on?  Google. 

*Quietly removed from logo & code of conduct as Google enshittifies.*

In its early days, Google's motto was "Don't Be Evil."  It was scrawled across whiteboards throughout the company and was incorporated into the corporate logo. Then they quietly dropped it from both the logo (2015) & the company's actual code of conduct (2018).   

Again, at the risk of sounding like a conspiracy theorist, I don't think this was some accident or oversight.  Google has become so fucking evil that using that motto would be laughable & potentially open them up to false advertising penalties if only our regulators weren't owned by corporate donors.  Companies will be exactly as evil as you let them be, hence the need for agencies like the FDA, FTC & EPA.  Except the fact that lobbying and big donor money is allowed in politics means these failsafe agencies work for the very companies they're paid to regulate.  It's a fox guarding the henhouse situation.

But the very idiots being violated 10 ways from Sunday by crony capitalism are the first to rush to its defense in an argument because "socialism bad".  The brainwashing runs deep.  

TL;DR - Don't buy a Chromebook unless you want rando techies having access to your most private saved files.  Or you want a glitchy laptop that doesn't let you delete files & tries to sell you more storage space.  (Hopefully this doesn't get hidden behind a censorship wall since Google owns Blogger!)

Zkittlez Auto by Fast Buds: Grow Journal with Pics & Commentary

Here's the short(ish) version of my Budget Zkittlez Auto (Fast Buds) grow diary.  For the long version with more pics, check me out on Grow Diaries. 

I dedicate this diary to anyone who has wanted to try growing but been discouraged by the confusing, contradictory & condescending opinions of uppity know-it-alls on sites like Reddit, who insist that expensive LED light boards, specialty soils & other unnecessary shit are required to grow cannabis.  They're not, and many of the things promoted as "The Gospel" are simply false, such as Miracle Gro soil being unfit for growing this plant.  (I even got a couple snarky unsolicited remarks on GrowDiaries which is disappointing considering my diary clearly says BUDGET GROW in the title.  Why must the pot grower community be so snobby?) While powerful lights and bottle ferts will undoubtedly produce bigger yields, they're not required for the plant to grow, thrive & produce a harvest as you'll see here. 

For what it's worth, I know there are better ways to optimize yield & potency, but my focus had to go toward stealth, speed & affordability.  I can neither afford nor have room for giant LED light boards, nor do I wanna bother with installing/hanging one.  CFLs aren't optimal but it's what I already had, as they were considered the best option last time I attempted a grow (like 6-7 years ago).  As with many things, opinions have since changed on that, with the consensus now being that LEDs are superior.  (Just so happens that CFLs are being phased out in favor of LEDs just as incandescents were phased out for CFLs last time I grew.  Be nice if governments made up their minds about which light bulbs we're allowed to use).


This plant was grown in Miracle Gro soil with three 42 watt CFL bulbs, transplanted & given NO bottled nutrients.  Just random homemade fertilizers/feeds (more below). And she gave me more buds than I know what to do with. 

Anyway.  Onto the journal.  It got really long so forgive me.  It's more for my own future reference than your entertainment.  😝

☆*:..｡. .｡.:*☆☆*:..｡. .｡.:*☆☆*:..｡. .｡.:*☆☆*:..｡. .｡.:*☆☆*:..｡. .｡.:*☆☆*:..｡. .｡.:*☆

Strain:  Zkittlez Auto by Fast Buds via NASC (came in original Fast Buds packet).  Feminized seed.  An indica-dominant (60%/40%) hybrid dessert-flavored strain that allegedly flowers in 55-65 days from sprouting.  Parents (according to Google) = Granddaddy Purple x Grapefruit x Ruderalis.  (Original Zkittlez is a cross between Grape Ape x Grapefruit x Unknown Indica). So not exactly the same but quite similar in terms of the Sativa/Indica balance!  


Here's how Granddaddy Purple compares to Grape Ape, for anyone curious:

Two purple/grapey indicas, compared.

Aroma:  Fruity (like its namesake!) with major berry overtones & hints of chocolate.  At least that's the seller's pitch.  My girl had NO smell most of the grow and smelt like a rotten dead skunk toward the end.  But boy oh boy did that change after drying!  

Drying:  I used the "Lotus drying" method of putting the buds in the fridge to dry them "low and slow".  No way could I keep my apt. cold enough for that long.  That was the majority of dry time; the rest was spent hanging in the closet or sitting in the closet in their box.  So I guess it was kind of a hybrid technique.  

Curing:  The basic Mason jar in the dark method.  Opened jars 2x daily for 30 minutes the first week, 1x 30 minutes daily in the second week & 1x 20 minutes daily in Week 3.

Additional notes:  Zkittlez Auto is allegedly a stretchy one that's a bit more temperamental than other autos, but the end result was great for most growers.  Indeed, my plant was VERY finicky when it came to watering & other minor changes, and she got hella tall.  I've never grown such a tall, lanky, Sativa-looking plant before!  But she looks identical to the other Z Auto by Fast Buds plants I've seen in photos so she's the real deal.  

SUPPLIES  🧰

Total cost:  $90.  Already had all items except the seed, bananas, Ona Pro-Gel & foil, so I only spent like $45 at the time of the actual grow.   

  

LIGHTING

Vegetative:  One Daylight (6500k) CFL 42w bulb + indirect sunlight from a North-facing window in seedling stage.  Supplemented with an uncovered 9w LED household bulb a few hours a day.  Aluminum foil for reflection.  22 hours on/2 hours off. 

Pre-flowering (Week 5):  One of each CFL bulb - Daylight + Warm Yellow (2700k).  LED 9w bulb (side lighting) all night.  20 hours on/4 hours off

Flowering:  (Week 6):  Two Warm Yellow (2700k) CFL 42w bulbs.  Daylight CFL bulb for side lighting.  Aluminum foil reflectors.  18 hours on/6 hours off.

WATER

Great Value Purified Drinking Water (Purified water, calcium chloride, sodium bicarbonate).

SOIL

Miracle Gro Moisture Control (90%); Unknown succulent soil mix (10%).

     This particular soil has enough nitrogen* that I didn't expect to have to supplement it.  It contains a mix of sphagnum peat moss, processed forest products, peat, coir, perlite, fertilizer, and a wetting agent & an N-P-K ratio of 0.18-0.10-0.10.

* Legend has it that Miracle Gro soil is completely incompatible with cannabis due to its "slow-release nitrogen" that allegedly burns the plant in flowering.  Not true.  This grow was more successful than my 2 prior grows, one of which was in the same fabric pot and the other in a Solo cup--both using Black Gold soil (a frequently recommended one for cannabis grows).  In fact, I'd actually recommend Miracle Gro Moisture Control soil for your cannabis grows.  I'll be using it next time I attempt this.

FERTILIZER

This is where things get "controversial".  I didn't use any store-bought bottled ferts at all, instead opting for items I had lying around the house.  And overall the plant responded extremely favorably, perking up more than when I fed her plain water.  

- I gave 1/2 a gram of potassium humates foliar feed (diluted in 1/2 gallon of water) as in Week 4.  I used the same water as I use regularly (Great Value drinking water) & pH'ed it first.  Applied with a spray bottle on two consecutive days.

- I gave 1/2 gram potassium humates soil feed in 1/2 gallon of water in Week 5.

- Sprinkled cannabis ash in the soil throughout the grow for phosphorus.  

- I used diluted urine as an emergency source of nitrogen in Week 6 when the bottom leaves started to yellow and fall off.  

- Fermented brown rice water in Week 6 for more nitrogen.  She turned dark green after.

- Banana tea made from the peel of 1 banana (diluted 1:7) in Weeks 7 & 11, only days before harvest.  

Air Circulation/Temperatures:  I kept a ceiling fan and/or standing oscillating fan on her most of the time, both to strengthen the stem & keep temperatures down, plus it seemed to help keep the bugs away.  During lights out I mostly kept her in total darkness with the ceiling fan on high and the air conditioner bringing temps down to 68-74F (which was cooler than "daytime" temps).  We dropped the temperature progressively by a few degrees as harvest approached to mimic outdoor autumn conditions. It was around 74 in the daytime in August & down to 72ish during lights-on nearer the end.  And 68 at night.   🥶

Humidity:  No idea what humidity levels were in the room but here are the average humidity levels in my area between August & October: 

	Daily average: 60-67%
	August	80	43
	September	83	49
	October	79	46

(First number is morning humidity, second is afternoon).  Yep, it's a wet bitch where I live.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    

METHODS  🧪

Seed Storage:  In breeder packaging inside a small box in refrigerator door.

Germination Method:  Soaked in a cup of water 12 hours + 2 days in damp paper towels.  Planted with taproot facing down.

Transplantation:  Yes (End of Week 2).  Solo cup ---> 5-gallon fabric pot.

Another "controversial" decision with autos, I chose to transplant from a Solo cup to her final 5 gallon fabric pot because my past autoflower did great in a cup and both grows had the same problem:  rapid, severe yellowing & leaf death around week 7.  I was hoping to avoid or mitigate that by giving a new batch of soil and thus, new nutrients.  I waited until the very end of Week 2 before making the move & she tolerated it VERY well.  No drooping, yellowing or anything else.  And no rapid leaf death in Week 6-7 this time!

Training:  Leaf-tucking (Week 5-6). Attempted but not needed due to wide internode space.

Since transplantation likely slowed things down a bit, I'm forgoing LST or any other potentially stressful training methods.  There weren't really enough leaves to "tuck" so I tied them down with pipe cleaners for a bit.  No noticeable effect.

Flush:  Yes.  Ice water flush followed by 24 hours of darkness before first harvest.  Week 11.   Second ice flush for remaining plant + 48 hours darkness.  Harvest at Day 96. 

Harvest:  Staggered/partial (2 weeks apart).  Took the top cola in 3 parts (12 hours apart) and let the rest
continue growing, then chopped it 2 weeks later. 

Trim:  Wet.  Too humid here to play around with extra foliage on the buds.

Drying:  Cardboard box in the fridge 80% of the time + in my closet the other 20%.  

Curing:  Mason jars at room temperature in the dark.  "Burped" a couple times a day.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Grow Notes  🗒

Germinated using a new method I hadn't tried before and it went great.  12 hours in a cup of water followed
by 2 days in paper towels in a Ziplock bag tacked up to the inside of a cabinet so the taproot would grow down.
Vegetation was completely uneventful even after transplant.  This is the healthiest plant of the 3 I've grown 
despite using Miracle Gro soil which is rumored to "burn" cannabis plants.  

She developed inter-node action at the very beginning of Week 4, but still too soon to tell sex though it was a 
feminized seed.  (P.S. what's with all the articles comparing autoflowers to feminized cannabis, as if autos 
can't be feminized?!)

Germination through Week 3

I learned about a process called "nyctinasty" which explains why this plant moves itself so dramatically in response to minor changes in light, water, temperature, etc.  Like, I know plants are living things and move, but I've NEVER seen one move so fast!  It felt like I had a sentient being in my bedroom with me.  Actually got kinda attached to her and hated to chop.  She changed positions multiple times a day and often very quickly.  She goes from drooping to "praying", slumps over on top and stands back up and turns sharply toward the light at times.  

Top left = normal; top right = after watering. 
Bottom left = evening; bottom right = morning.

Zkittlez Auto is very waterphobic.  Despite making sure my water was room temperature & perfectly pH'ed, she still pulled that whole drooping/over watered thing most times.  And I only watered once every SEVEN days in veg using only 16.9 fl Oz. of water at a time!  Soil was bone dry on watering day, I'd had fans running directly on her (fabric) pot full of moisture control soil, etc.  Diva!  

I was planning to do leaf-tucking as training but as you can see, there aren't enough leaves to really do that.  So I put little "weights" on her fan leaf branches instead to open up the bud spaces & give them more light.  And they seemed to really take off that day!  (Zkittlez Auto is a stretchy beast).  Indeed, this plant ended up growing WAY taller in the pre-flowering stage.  Had to raise my lights twice.  By Week 7 she was 18 inches tall--my tallest plant to date.  By Week 9, she was 31 inches!  I kept my CFLs very close most of the grow, like maybe 1-2 inches away from the top and sides.  Even with side lighting, the bottom buds lagged in maturity, with most pistils remaining white at the very bottom.

By Week 6 I was having some yellowing and had lost 2 bottom leaves to it.  Panic ensued, PTSD from past grows most likely.  In a desperate bid to save the plant & prevent the rapid yellowing I had with both other grows, I supplemented emergency nitrogen via diluted urine & then fermented rice water, both in Week 6.  Oddly, she seemed to like this concoction better than the plain pH'ed water I usually give, though it might've caused a bit of nitrogen overload based on the dark upper leaves with downward curling ends.   

My apartment has a very minor bug problem, leafhoppers if Google is correct.  Whatever they are, they've been chewing through some of my leaves & budsites, though not too terribly.  I've been sucking them up in my handheld vacuum whenever possible.  

Odd problems that arose in preflower.

This plant is behaving as if the top and bottom halves were two different plants.  The bottom turns yellow & dries up (nitrogen deficiency), the top is dark green with nitrogen OD claw.  When the bottom droops and has a papery texture (underwatered), the top is bloated, dark & plays dead when watered (overwatered).  When some branches are happy & "praying," the rest sag & droop.  Despite these oddities, she got very tall  & grew a shit-ton of budsites, a few of which I removed.  

Unlike my previous 2 grows, this plant didn't go yellow all over and have crispy leaves that fell off in Week 7.  I attribute that to carefully pH'ing my water and feeds first.  Also, I suspect transplanting into a bigger pot with fresh soil in Week 2 helped keep her fed.  I topped up her soil around Week 6 in a bid to increase nitrogen also.  For future reference, I'd suggest keeping the nitrogen coming strong through the end of Week 6 rather than switching to phosphorus/potassium as soon as preflowering starts.  I figured the MG soil would be sufficient but she still required additional N during the preflowering phase as evidenced by the yellowing bottom leaves that fell off.  

Week 7 shots: 3 of the top cola; lower right of some satellite buds

As of Week 7 the plant still didn't produce a smell unless I touched her leaves or jostled her around a lot.  Smell became more apparent in Week 9 but was still minimal.  I clipped off 2 budsites in early Week 7 as they had absolutely zero flower power...they were just clusters of small leaves.  

Buds stayed disappointingly small until Week 9, when they damn near doubled in size daily.  That's also when the smell became apparent: nothing like berries or Skittles... more like a dead skunk.  But the frost & odor DID eventually come!

Week 8 & 9 shots.

While I was more careful with things like pH than in my last 2 grows, overall I think these NASC/Fast Buds genetics are just stronger & more resilient than Dinafem.  For a plant grown in "no-no" soil with 3 weak CFL bulbs and no bottled fertilizers, she handled things like transplantation very well.  I even had to hide her under a black 40-gallon trash bag for a whole day due to a surprise visit from the landlord.  She bounced back from every insult and ended up being the tallest, highest yielding plant I've ever grown.  All things considered the only thing I'd change is to extend nitrogen supplementation a bit longer, keeping it coming through the end of Week 6.  

Weeks 10 & 11

Weeks 12 & 13

HARVEST DAY:  Days 82 & 96

FINAL HEIGHT:  33 inches
FINAL (DRY) WEIGHT:  ?


She took longer to grow than I'd anticipated (though I knew grow conditions weren't optimal & it could take longer) and got MUCH taller than expected!  Granted, I didn't do any fancy training to keep height down, but still.  She required side lighting just to ensure that the bottom half wasn't light-deprived.  



SMOKE REPORT   😶‍🌫

She smokes as pretty as she looks, and the effects keep improving the more she dries/cures.  Effects are heavy & sedating with a distinctly giggly edge.  Reminds me of the high I used to get back in the day as a teen or 20-smtg. before the anxiety kicked in.  Bag appeal is on point and she smells so pungent despite having almost NO smell when growing or drying!  I'd describe the aroma as a skunk shooting fruity scents out its rear lmao.  Does it feel anything like the Zkittlez photoperiod plant I bought at the dispo?  Ehhh, not really.  But the smell certainly is accurate.  

Overall the fridge drying went as well as it possibly could have.  The plant retained its vibrant colors, has an incredibly pungent aroma and doesn't taste the least bit like chlorophyll or hay.  Just don't be surprised if your buds lose ALL smell during drying because mine sure did.  But boy does it come back with a vengeance when you break them up!  There's no way I could've kept my apartment cold enough to dry this in the closet without compromising some major terps.  It appears low and slow truly is the way to go!  🥶🌡



INSIGHTS  🤔

Obviously she would've done better with the standard bottle nutes, but again this was a budget grow.  Not everyone is growing strictly for High Times centerfold buds or commercial yields--for some the focus has to be stealth, speed & affordability.  THOSE are the people I'm sharing this for.  Hopefully one day cannabis and all other drugs will be fully legalized & regulated at the federal level, with seed breeders held to higher standards & punished for making false claims about lineage/other aspects, but for now that's just not the case.  Even in states where it's legal, that doesn't apply to people on a military base, in a college dorm, government housing or living with nosy roommates (parents).  The penalties for getting caught growing even small amounts of weed in those settings could include losing your housing or even your career/government assistance, and using medical cannabis legally could even get you passed over for a vital organ transplant.  We MUST stop these cruel and senseless practices, and the only way to do that is to uniformly legalize (not decriminalize) all drugs (not just weed).

Growing cannabis is a fun, easy hobby for anyone who enjoys gardening & can be very rewarding regardless of yields.  I could probably buy some dispensary buds for cheaper than the cost of electricity and other supplies it cost me to grow this one plant, but that's not the point.  I don't know what was used to grow those buds, and at least where I live the strain names are often bullshit.  Old landrace strains like Acapulco Gold, Chocolate Thai and Santa Marta Gold are frequently marketed here despite being extremely rare and hard to grow.  And that's the medical industry I'm talking about.  Growing weed is something I've wanted to do my whole life, and only now do I have the privacy to really experiment with it.  I'm a very light/occasional user of the plant as well, saving it for severe cramps, nausea or insomnia rather than daily use.  So to ME, this yield was more than enough to last like 2 years.  

So a big FUCK YOU to the naysayers and bro science spitters who said it couldn't be done or that I "didn't know what I was doing".  I know exactly what I'm doing and why.  And in the end I got more than I even hoped for.  Yep, I'm still salty about the negativity & fearmongering because weed heads are supposed to be above that shit.  As a member of multiple online drug communities, I can say with certainty that you guys are the most insufferable by FAR.  

Lastly, shout out to Fast Buds for these genetics.  I'd gladly grow both Fast Buds and Zkittlez Auto again.

FINAL PICS (click to view full size)