The Great Unknown(s)

If I only knew then what I know now... I probably still would've f*cked it up somehow.

 

"Because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns—the ones we don't know we don't know. And if one looks throughout the history of our country and other free countries, it is the latter category that tends to be the difficult ones." 

--- Donald Rumsfeld

When the aforementioned war criminal first vomited up this word salad, I was not impressed.  It sounded like just another diversion from the U.S's war crimes abroad.  It still does, but now I understand better what is meant by 'unknown unknowns'.  

Sometimes I jump to conclusions and assume the worst about situations that confuse, unsettle or sadden me.  Like 98% of the time.  As bad as that is for others it's also not pleasant for me, but I justify it by telling myself it will ease the shock of the pain/disappointment when the worst actually turns out to be true (which it usually does).  My vision narrows and I see only one possible scenario or outcome--the most pessimistic one.  

And when the worst doesn't turn out to be true?  It's rare but I end up feeling stupid, guilty & ashamed.  On the one hand I'm relieved the worst didn't come to pass but I also feel like I'll never understand people & their motivations.  Still, the fact remains:  sometimes there are pieces of information we just don't have until we have them & no amount of overthinking will change that.  I have a notoriously hard time discerning people's intentions and, as a 'why' person, try to fill in the blanks in my own head as a means of gaining closure or making sense of confusing situations.  Then I lash out and puke up my own ugly word salad.  I don't know what the solution is... I guess we'll call it a work in progress. 

TL;DR - I'm not always right and if my assumptions have hurt or offended anyone, I'm genuinely sorry. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, good.  That means I probably haven't freaked out on you (yet).  🖤 

Yep.  Lotta scorched plants in this here garden.