The Death of Trevor Moore: Suspicious?

Trevor Moore was a comedian with a show on Comedy Central.  You can learn more about him here.  On August 7, 2021 he died a mysterious* and untimely death that was allegedly "alcohol-related" when he fell from his balcony around 2:30 a.m.  However, it would seem death was on his mind in the months leading up to this tragedy, as he posted a disturbing Tweet on his X account a month before.  See for yourself:

July 8, 2021:  1 month + 2 days before his passing

That would be noteworthy on its own, as the chances of someone publicly stating their wishes for their obituary that close to their actual death are pretty low.  But it gets weirder, because 4 days later on June 12th he shared a video entitled "Get Ready to Die" to his Youtube channel.  Here it is in full:

Creepy episode gets creepier when host dies less than a month later.

I don't watch a lot of TV and certainly not much Comedy Central so I'd never heard of the guy, but his name came up recently in relation to the Diddy case, which made my ears perk up.  In 2014, he'd appeared in an unbelievably detailed & creepy skit/song from his own comedy album(?) "Drunk Texts to Myself" with a kid that was obviously supposed to represent Justin Bieber called "Help Me." People on X were claiming he "knew" what happened to Bieber & was somehow complicit.  (IMO it looks like just the oppsite from the video--he was using his platform to call out a very serious open secret with comedy as the vehicle for delivering the hard-to-swallow message).

And what's with the "local sexpot" thing?  Not to read too much into it--I know he was a comedian--but is it possible there was more to it than that?  Could he have been referencing some kind of sexual trauma from his past in the industry... something he experienced firsthand or saw, or perhaps something he did to others?  Was his death truly an accident?  Falling from an elevated position on a building or out a window is a preferred method of killing for the CIA and other organizations because it covers suicides, murders, accidents & general clumsiness/stupidity like trying to take pictures for your website.  A tweet shortly before his death references the Epstein case & how he would've loved for him to go to trial, so he was definitely interested in and cognizant of sex abuse cases & coverups.  

On the "Get Ready to Die" episode there's a giant coffin in the middle of the room & the hosts spend the whole episode talking about death--their fear of it, different ways to die, etc.  Moore even brings up obituaries again:

It seems his legacy was on his mind around this time...

It's reminiscent of Andy Kaufman's last year, when he likely knew he would die soon & was leaving little clues.  The question here is, if it wasn't a random accident, was this a suicide or a murder?  And why am I the only one who finds all this odd?  People have brought up the Bieber skit, but nobody's discussed Moore's actual death or the weirdness surrounding it outside of a few /r/conspiracy nuts around the time he actually died.  With the "sexpot" comment & Help Me vid, I'm more concerned about possible connections to Diddy-esque characters or firsthand knowledge of (i.e. witnessing) some horrific acts that could've then led to his drinking problem/suicide.  Or perhaps he was going to expose info and "they" wanted him silenced.  The weird focus on death could've been his way of silently screaming that he was in trouble and letting the villains know he was onto them & wasn't afraid to tell the world what they were up to anyway.  

But probably it was just a drunken accident.  A big coincidence.  He was just a goofy comedian, right?  



* The death is considered "mysterious" because so little is known about it, just that he was on his roof late at night for some reason & fell.  His mindset at the time--i.e. whether he was depressed or actually had a drinking problem--is not really discussed.  Was his wife or son present?  Did he pass instantly or lie there for hours yelling for help?  I can't find much about that night which is kinda weird.

Trevor Moore  1980 - 2021

 

Currently In Rotation: Anne - Santigold (2008)

 

This was a mf banger.  The whole album is 🔥.  That is all.

Shortage of Assisted Dying Meds Leads to Experimental Combos

After watching a documentary on assisted dying recently, I started really thinking about how important it is for patients who choose it (and prisoners who don't choose execution but will face it anyway) to have access to tested & proven methods of bringing about death in a fast & painless manner.  This is not a debate about the morality of assisted dying or the death penalty--there's plenty of those discussions to be had elsewhere.  

While researching this topic I found that, surprise surprise, there's a shortage of the drugs used in euthanasia & assisted dying--namely barbiturates like pentobarbital & secobarbital.  These meds already weren't ideal, as 90-100 pills are required to consistently bring about death in a somewhat timely manner.  Drinking a thick sludge with that much bitter material in it can lead to gagging, choking & aspiration, especially in patients with GI issues.  But at least those drugs were relatively predictable.  

Now for some reason I cannot fathom, assisted dying patients in the U.S. are being given a bizarre cocktail of (cheap, old, dirty) drugs:  digoxin, Diazepam, morphine & amitriptyline (DDMA) or alternately, DDMP the "p" being propranolol.  Aside from being an entirely experimental mixture, each drug you add to this cocktail increases the risk for horrific side effects like "anesthesia awareness," vomiting, seizures, or simply waking up and not dying at all.  While some may not see the importance of this issue, I find it cruel, unusual & scandalous for a developed nation to engage in this sort of human experimentation simply because wealthy private pharmaceutical companies refuse to produce ample supplies of the right medications.


A Closer Look at This Cocktail

Many opioids are stronger than morphine.

In the absence of barbiturates, all that's needed for assisted dying is a one-two punch of a sedative (i.e. a non-opioid tranquilizing drug that acts on GABA) and an opioid, plus an anti-nausea medication 30 minutes beforehand to keep it down.  But why choose morphine when there are stronger opioids like oxycodone, Dilaudid, oxymorphone & fentanyl?  And diazepam, like all benzos, is not fatal even in high doses, merely causing blackouts & amnesia but not respiratory depression like barbiturates.  Yes, the risk of OD goes up when it's combined with other depressants but that's not a risk I'd be willing to take.  And many of these patients have existing depressant tolerances due to their painful terminal illnesses.  I'll get into which drugs I think would be superior choices later, but for now let's take a closer look at the ones states have actually chosen to use on desperate terminally ill and condemned patients.

Digoxin is a cardiac toxin.  What do you suppose that feels like as it brings about death?  Symptoms of OD include vertigo, vomiting, rapid irregular heartbeat, abdominal pain & delirium.  Now if the morphine & diazepam do their job, the patient shouldn't feel anything.  But as stated above, these drugs aren't all that potent compared to other drugs in their respective classes and there are other factors like stomach contents, other medications present & GI conditions that can interfere with absorption.  If the digoxin should kick in FIRST you're in trouble. 

Both amitriptyline and propranolol have atypical sedative effects and a whole host of side effects.  Propanalol is a blood pressure drug that slows heart rate.  It may cause seizures in overdose & cannot be used by asthma patients because it can cause severe shortness of breath.  Amitriptyline is a tricyclic antidepressant with anticholinergic (drying) effects throughout the body.  It has so many side effects it's rarely prescribed nowadays--a few of these include weight gain, rapid heart rate, suicidal thoughts & drowsiness.  In assisted dying patients it has been known to cause severe burning of the mouth and esophagus.  Remember, these pills have to be opened up & emptied or otherwise dissolved into a solution so the contents come into direct contact with the lips, tongue, throat, mouth & esophagus.   

Better Alternatives

The 1 thing fentanyl analogues are good for (but they're not being used).

I'm no pharmacologist, but I can think of a couple drugs off the top of my head that would be far better options than the dirty ones they've chosen.  Propofol comes to mind, as it works almost instantly & produces total amnesia.  If you must use a benzo, go with a potent short acting one like rohypnol or midazolam.  Better yet, why not use Xyrem, aka GHB?  It's been known to kill people all on its own.  You don't want a long-acting gentle one like Diazepam which is likely the worst candidate.  Phenobarbital--a barbiturate in the same class as Seconal & Nembutal--is also still available last time I checked.  Any one-two punch of a sedative + an opioid would work, but you shouldn't just randomly choose ANY two.  On the opioid side, the fentanyl analogues would be great candidates.  Plain fentanyl, acetylfentanyl, butyrfentanyl & the big one: carfentanil would all get the job done in short order with or without a sedative.  The nitazenes would be another reliably potent option as they're roughly 20x stronger than fentanyl.  Just don't forget the anti-nausea meds.  Brain death is said to happen as soon as 8 minutes after a fentanyl overdose, which is far faster than even the barbiturate meds which can take hours.

Ideally you would go around the GI tract and use an IV, but many states sadly don't allow this because it would require a medical professional to be involved with the injection process.  It's a shame because that would totally avoid the vomiting and having to choke down tons of bitter pills.  Bypassing first-pass metabolism also ensures a speedier, more potent effect.  (Oral bioavailability is generally much lower than IV, which is around 100%).  This whole "first do no harm" thing among medical professionals is also why so many inmates endure botched executions--lethal injections are administered by total laypeople with little to no experience giving IV's or the like.  It seems by refusing to do harm, these doctors ARE doing it, even if indirectly. 

As for other possible options, there are also inhalants like nitrogen & xenon gas, which are known to cause euphoria at the end & work much faster than the pill solution, but the whole 'bag over the head' aesthetic scares some people.  I say follow the science:  if there's no carbon dioxide inhalation involved, there's nothing to fear.  I believe one state has tried the nitrogen inhalation method to execute at least one inmate.  

Benzos compared to Diazepam, one of the 4 weakest drugs in the whole class.

Because it's unethical to put people to death to study the lethal effects of euthanasia methods, this will always remain an inexact science to some degree.  There will never be a 100% pain-free, instant option that works for everyone.  But we don't need perfect; just reasonably reliable.  100 barbiturate pills is better than the experimental DDMP/DDMA cocktails, which are better than a shotgun blast to the face.  I suppose a shotgun blast is much quicker & less painful than a protracted battle with bone cancer.   That doesn't mean we can't do better than all of these.  An intravenous shot of fentanyl + propofol would likely be even better than the pills.  Cost & drug availability shouldn't factor into it, especially in developed nations.  We don't make terminally ill animals slurp down a hundred Nembutals through a straw at the vet's office, and we damn sure shouldn't expect our loved ones to endure such indignities.

Governments need to step up and make Pharma companies produce a certain (small) amount of essential drugs like these each year so we're not in this situation.  If they refuse, it's time to admit this privatized medicine setup isn't working.  These companies have taken so much from society with all the drug epidemics they've created; the overpriced medications they hold hostage from critically ill people, the scandals like knowingly shipping blood infected with HIV overseas... it's the least they could do. 

For those concerned about assisted dying becoming the law of the land and taking someone you love, keep in mind that only 1/3rd of patients who obtain the drugs end up using them.  Simply having them on hand provides a sense of peace & control for these desperate suffering folks.  We treat our beloved pets better than our human loved ones in this regard.  If you don't agree with it, don't choose it for yourself.  That's where your rights end.  Patients in hospice care are often overdosed on pain medications at the end, which is merciful compared to the alternative, which may include starvation/death by dehydration if a "Do Not Resuscitate" order is in play.  If you choose life-sustaining measures, you may spend your final weeks or months under the glow of fluorescent hospital lights with a breathing tube shoved down your throat and a feeding tube up your nose, comatose & unable to speak despite horrid pain and/or sickness.  If you're lucky you'll have doctors and nurses who are attentive to your needs.  If not, you'll spend your final days suspended in a kind of purgatory unable to scream while being neglected by jaded healthcare workers who not only don't belong in the profession but the free world.  

These things are not pleasant to think about by any means, but it's a part of life we'll all face at some point.  Better to think and plan for it now than to be caught unprepared.  Raging at people who choose a different ending than you will not change your outcome one bit.  It behooves us all to ensure that our legal & medical systems employ humane & scientifically sound methods of sustaining life as well as ending it.  💚

For New Readers Here About the Diddy Case:

An ugly graphic for an ugly-ass soul.

Since the topic is becoming relevant again due to the recent arrest of Sean "Diddy" Combs & there are some new readers on the site (welcome!), here's a link to all my old articles about his (alleged, whatever) role in the murder of Tupac Shakur over the years, as well as some of the ghastly sex and physical abuse:

Tupac Died Over a Chain :(

Examining Puff Daddy's Role in the 2Pac Murder

Diss Track Review:  "Hit 'Em Up"

Diss Track Review:  "Long Kiss Goodnight"

Lessons From the Diddy Case

As you can see, I'm no Johnny-Come-Lately to this issue and have always held the belief that Dick Puffin' Daddy was the "big fish" behind it.  I'm also of the belief he's part of a larger government surveillance/blackmail operation the way Jeffrey Epstein was, and I'm not new to THAT belief either.  It's common knowledge that the U.S. gov't/law enforcement love to take down successful Black men, and rumors about Diddy's crimes have been public knowledge for decades.  So why did it take so long for them to act (just like it took them forever to actually put Epstein behind bars)?  And why was his house bugged in exactly same way as Epstein's?  Normal people--even the super wealthy--don't hide cameras in the walls.  Aside from having a hard-on for surveillance, what do Diddy, Epstein & J. Edgar Hoover have in common? 

Answer:  Alleged homosexual proclivities, which are a well-known bargaining chip when it comes to blackmail.  (See:  This).  While being gay or bi is not the scandal it once was in general, there are still a number of very closeted rappers, actors & other high-profile people who, for whatever reason, believe that coming out would harm their public image & cause them to lose fans.  They may be older, conservative or from a time/place where being anything but straight was not okay (and still isn't).  Or maybe they've built their public image around a super-masculine persona (think Rock Hudson)... or being a "thug."  Yeah.  You get the picture.




The Call Is Coming From Inside the House?

"When a Stranger" isn't a stranger at all: are the Hip-Hop Cops hiding in plain sight?

Rap fans often talk about the "Hip Hop Cops" as if they're white FBI agents following rappers around in unmarked vans recording everything they do from the bushes, but what if they were actually people INSIDE the rap community like Diddy, Russell Simmons, Afrika Bambaataa & others who have allegations of sexual assault (often of the homosexual variety) against them?  The super rich, powerful ones allowed to get away with their crimes in plain sight for years while everybody wonders why the fuck local police, the Feds, the DEA & pretty much ANY law enforcement agency are asleep at the switch?   White cats like VladTV often get accused of being agents, but in my opinion he's a less likely (or at least EQUALLY LIKELY) suspect than these higher ups.  Hear me out. 

Recall that it was a Black informant who drugged Fred Hampton with barbiturates before Chicago police burst in & shot him 91 times, also killing Black Panther associate Mark Clark.  A Black person killed Malcolm X & Tupac Shakur (and in all likelihood, Biggie Smalls); Black would-be assassins burst into the house on 56 Hope Road & riddled it with bullets, nearly killing Bob & Rita Marley and manager Don Taylor on the orders of a CIA-backed politician (Edward Seaga...or as he was known in Jamaica:  Edward CIAga).  Rising stars/lead singers Jacob Miller & Peter Tosh would also be dead by the end of the '80s, and both had called out the CIA and law enforcement by name in their music (as had Marley in his song "Rat Race" with the line:  "Rasta don't work for no CIA").

In case what I'm suggesting isn't clear, it goes like this:  I believe the FBI & other 3-letter agencies may be employing the services of powerful people in the rap community to serve as informants, using things like their closeted homosexuality, gang affiliations, the fact that they started their labels with drug money or other scandalous info to coerce them into doing so.  In exchange for bugging their homes & snitching on their peers in scheduled secret debriefings, they're allowed to live a life of Riley:  crazy parties, sex with underage victims, all the drugs they could possibly desire (possibly sourced from law enforcement evidence rooms at times) & most importantly, immunity from arrest/prosecution. 

Except eventually things snowball to the point their handlers can no longer keep their end of the bargain because social media, the actual news media & police in far-flung jurisdictions receive so many credible complaints there's no choice but to act.  (IMO this is likely why a single rape allegation against a powerful man is rarely enough for law enforcement to act & several are required before they'll even look into it--not because EVERY celebrity/business tycoon is an informant, but because they're protecting the ones that are by setting the bar so high & normalizing this standard).  



Weaponized Tribalism:  Using Race to Confound & Beguile 

Welp, it's pretty clear which side represents the Europeans in this analogy.

Black folks have a long history of believing their own people are inherently benevolent & would do them no harm.  It's happening right now with their overwhelming support of Kamala Harris, who was notorious for incarcerating Black people & fighting to KEEP non-violent offenders locked up before becoming Joe Biden's right hand woman.  Recall that Biden was co-author of the 3-Strikes Crime Bill that's responsible for said incarceration epidemic of Black people--particularly Black men--which currently includes more people than were slaves at the height of slavery if you count all levels of the criminal justice system (awaiting trial, jail, bail bonds, parole, etc).  That's to say nothing of his abhorrent stance on cutting SSI & welfare, authoring the RAVE Act & siding with Clarence Fucking Thomas against his victim Anita Hill, OR the credible rape allegations against Biden himself.  The duo are MODERATE REPUBLICANS by any other country's standards, yet their Blackness & proximity to it erase all sins.  Not to mention, it doesn't take much to look good standing next to a convicted felon whose 2nd term goals include turning the Democratic republic into a dictatorship with his insidious Project 2025.  Go ahead & Google that one yourself, I'm tired.

Tupac also made this mistake early in his career, and he paid for it dearly.  After the first shooting, his views changed from "Black People Against the World/Panther Power" to "Trust No One."  And it would appear those views were justified because it was a Black man who eventually killed him on the orders of another Black man.   😞

One thing I know for sure:  There are a lot of billionaires & multi-millionaires in the music, film & fashion world world who are probably shitting bricks right now.  Kanye, Jay-Z, Russell Simmons, Master P, Birdman, Drake & a few others come to mind.  As with the Epstein case, the Feds have not just hours or days but YEARS of footage of wild drugged-out sex (and rape) parties & other criminal behavior to sift through, and the general public will never see it.  That's a shame, as I believe full transparency is required for law enforcement (especially at the Federal level) to operate ethically & maintain proper checks & balances.  In all likelihood, these other celebs & power players will never be brought to justice no matter what's on those tapes, just as Epstein's rapist/sex trafficking cronies haven't been.  

Chances are they'll use the footage to blackmail THEM & turn them into informants too.  There's a reason pedophilia & other sex crimes continue to receive such offensively mild sentences despite being the one thing conservatives & liberals are fully united in their hatred of.  Our cops, judges, lawyers, prosecutors & politicians are likely up to their elbows in CSAM & other unsavory shit if the truth was known.  Because who else would they be protecting?  In this incarceration-happy nation that locks up more of its population than any country on Earth, any reason to deny freedom is good enough...  except when it comes to things like domestic violence & sex crimes, then it's "anger management courses" and community service, IF that. 

Meanwhile non-violent drug offenses continue receiving harsh and sometimes mandatory minimum sentences.  Where's the mandatory minimum for rape with instrumentation involving a minor at church camp?  Infecting a disabled person in a nursing home with an incurable STD?  Admitting to a judge that you raped your two toddler children?  Why is Matthew Perry's dealer--a woman who sold him a CIII drug that he consented to buying after writing the literal book on addiction--facing life in prison while his doctor who introduced him to the drug--a medical professional who should've known better--not even losing his license?  

Money, power & social status.  The End.

Here's hoping the people on those FBI tapes doing the evil deeds are shaking in their Yeezys.  Better sleep with one eye open...


Update 9/23/2024:  Twitter/X.com is literally exploding with accusations after Usher deleted his account when called out about his Diddy connection.  It appeared Pink scrubbed hers too, but after some investigation she actually did so back in February, months before the Diddy case took off.  She claims it was due to (unrelated) death threats.  Other celebs that have had "files" pulled on them include Birdman (damn, I'm good!), Nicki Minaj & comedian/"local sexpot" Trevor Moore, who died in a mysterious alcohol-related fall in 2021.  Many others are being called out that likely have no dirt on their hands but it'll be interesting to see who comes out clean & who doesn't when the dust finally settles.  Stay tuned. 

All Eyez On Metropolitan Detention Center

 

"Wonda Why They Call U Bytch"



A classic banger with a message that's a bit hard to swallow.  Maybe for some a little more than others, but you know what they say:  something-something if the shoe fits?    👠🤷🏻‍♀💔


* Side note:  This is the track that featured Biggie's wife, Faith Evans, singing on the hook.  Even after all that drama--having her name dropped disrespectfully in "Hit 'Em Up" and getting battered by her husband in retaliation despite the fact that he frequently bragged about having multiple affairs INCLUDING with his Bad Boy/Junior M.A.F.I.A. labelmates--she wasn't even credited for her work on this song!  At least not on Spotify's version of All Eyez On Me.  This was common practice at the time: go listen to any classic Hip Hop album from the '90s featuring a female vocalist and there's a good chance she's not given credit for her work.  This is especially disappointing considering laws require artists to list the origin of every single beep, whistle or drum loop sampled from old songs, yet living female artists who were in the studio lending their vocals in real time could be left out completely. 

 Ironically, this speaks to the very phenomenon 2Pac is talking about, albeit cruedely, on this very track:  Women are far more likely to tolerate a level of disrespect that their male peers simply would not put up with, both in intimate relationships and the workplace. The result is lower pay for the same work and relationships marred by infidelity and all types of abuse & domestic inequality. 

Thankfully today we have a choice in the West about whether to stick it out or even enter marriages with men to begin with, as we're now allowed to own/lease property, have credit cards in our names, work in any field we're qualified for, use contraception to prevent unwanted pregnancy & otherwise make vital decisions about our bodies & finances that weren't even possible until 1970 or later in the U.S.  It's high time we started acting like it!  And I think that's what the songwriter was getting at here: there are no shortcuts to happiness & prosperity.  If you disrespect your body, use sex as a tool of manipulation, neglect your children & value people for their money, there's a price to be paid.  (Just as the men using her for sex likely paid with THEIR health whether they knew it yet or not).  
 
Moving on.

I'll be thinking of 2Pac & all the victims of this psychopath as the Diddy/Sean Combs arrest plays out & we learn more about the charges.  It's been a long time coming for some of us who knew all along.  Let it be a timely reminder that what's done in the dark always comes to light; that what goes around comes back around eventually--sometimes with interest.  Don't assume because you got off light in the "conscience" department you'll be as lucky when they're handing down legal, social or karmic sentences.

Enjoy the rest of your week.  🗓

My Self-Care Looks Like...

 ...being true to myself in regards to my sexual orientation despite the hardships it has brought into my life.  And there are many. 

I knew I was gay (not bisexual, "curious" or any other orientation that would've allowed me to feign normalcy) at puberty.  And since I was already the black sheep of the family, I wanted nothing more than for it not to be true.  I grew up in a place and time that can be compared to the 1950's South in many ways (racism, sexism, homophobia)--certainly not the LGBTQIA2S+xyz positive world of today.  So I spent many a night praying, crying and begging God to change me.  And I admit, I still haven't "come out" and don't openly announce when I'm in a relationship--nobody I went to elementary/high school with officially knows I'm gay.  My close family & friends know, though not by my own doing. 

As a teen I had no intention of ever telling my family, but I was outed by my mom at 15, resulting in a domino effect of shitty events that ended with me being cut off financially mid-way through college by my extremely religious grandparents when I moved a half-block off campus with my girlfriend (who I only ever introduced as my "friend").  Mind you my grades were fine, I was engaged in a healthy extracurricular activity for the first time, had real FRIENDS for the first time since elementary school...  I was actually happy after a nightmarish high school experience and 2 years of living in the rapey, meningitis-infested dorms that neither my cousins nor my sister ever had to live in.  And I was being punished for something I had no control over.  The rules were always different for me but this was especially tough to swallow.

Oh yeah, this was after my grandma tried to set me up with my 2nd cousin.  (Say what?!  Yeah.  It was only recently I realized just how closely the kid is related to me and YIKES).  🫣  I once went to church with my grandparents on Easter Sunday and the entire 2-hour sermon was a hellfire and brimstone anti-gay marriage rant...  on the day Jesus rose from the grave--one of if not THEE most joyous holidays in the Christian calendar.  There were no more than 9 or 10 people in this tiny church that day so I definitely felt the sermon was directed at me.  I nodded, "amen'd" and clapped along in agreement to everything the pastor said:  I can do "crazy" with the best of 'em.  As a theatre nerd, acting was kinda my forte--but the minute I walked out the door I made a silent promise to myself that the next time I entered a church I would be carried by 6 people wearing all-black & singing sad songs.  

Keepin' it real:  not easy but necessary.

Through all this I maintained a loving relationship with my grandparents.  I understood they were in a cult--that my grandma was one of the smartest, most loving people in my family & had done more for me than my own parents in many regards.  I wouldn't have graduated high school if not for her.  She was the first person in my immediate family to even get a college degree.  It's my mother I can't forgive for outing me to a family member she claimed to hate & for snooping through my private journals.  Different rant for a different day.

Anyway, fast forward a decade or so and my grandma eventually came around, sending my partner (now my ex after leaving me for a man to start a nice little hetero family) a personalized Christmas check in our card every year like she did all the other grandkids' spouses--a silent acknowledgement of our relationship.  She's even playfully asked me if various guys were 'gay' while people-watching at the mall because obviously I have the gaydar.  I attribute this to the fact that I never pushed the issue or was obnoxious about it, just being the same person I always was & not giving any ultimatums or the like.  Where I'm from, bringing public shame upon your family by being different or "weird" is honestly the biggest sin there is.  When asked about my partner I'd talk about her but never AS my partner.  Sometimes I'd even bring her to their house just to drop by and say 'hi'.  When asked if gay marriage was legal in my state, "I don't know" was my (honest) answer.  

I may have never pushed it on anyone, but at the same time I have always refused to live a fake life, marrying a man and wasting my one go-round on this planet playing pretend house just for optics.  Because even if I did, they'd find something else to take issue with.  I've seen them criticize & tear down my sister and others for a helluva lot less.  It comes with the territory of being female in a supremely sexist region.  The same applies to being childfree by choice--this decision has drawn criticism from loved ones and even total strangers who seem almost offended that I'm making a different life choice than them.  

It straight up ended my relationship of 12 years when my partner decided she HAD to have a kid around age 40 after her sister had one.  I loved her and truly thought we'd be together forever, not to mention having literal nightmares about ever returning to live in my home state.... let alone my parents' house.  Yet I refused to do something so life-altering when my heart wasn't in it and I knew I wasn't capable of giving a child the life they deserved.   And I'd make that decision a hundred times over, as hard as it was. 

The Labrys (lesbian flag)

Short Story Long

While you can't force people to accept or embrace everything you do, you also can't live to please others.  Trying to is a losing game because they'll always find something to nitpick or judge and then none of you will be happy.  If you live your truth, the ones who truly love you will come around eventually & those who care more about appearances or control will die on that hill.  Their loss. 

And that's maybe one of the most important "self-care" tips I can give:  that living for yourself is not "selfish," it's the bare minimum requirement for living an honest, self-actualized life of integrity.  You can't make others happy unless you are, nor can you fulfill your life's purpose while living as someone else.  Your 'help' & advice will come across as hypocritical because you're living a lie.  Authenticity must be the foundation for every other success in your life.  That means YOU must pick your career path, life partner (if you should have one), place of residence, college (if you should attend), major, friends, investments, reproductive choices & other consequential life decisions.  Not your parents, religious leaders, community or anyone else.  You.  Because at the end of each day it's you who will be stuck living with those decisions. 

And back to the "their loss" thing:  you have to get to a point of truly believing that with your whole heart.  If someone who claims to care about you refuses to love the REAL you or requires you to put on airs around them, is that the kind of person you even want in your corner?  Relationships require cooperation, give/take and compromise.  Sometimes you have to meet people in the middle--other times you must meet people where they are.  But you can't always be the one who makes the long trek to their side of the issue or who folds on matters of immense personal significance.  This is one time where your loved ones must meet YOU where you are. 

Basically, you have to get to a place of not letting the fickle opinions of others shake your confidence or self-image, and that applies to a lot more than just sexual orientation.  Opinions are like assholes: everybody's got one & they all stink but everyone thinks THEIRS smells like roses.  There's no reason your opinion on your life should count for less than that of someone else, be it your mother, your preacher or the Pope.  You are the expert on your own life if nothing else in this world, and you have to call the shots (assuming you're 18+ & of relatively sound mind).  When their own goading fails, they'll pull out the God card, the disowned/out-of-the-will card and anything else they can think of to scare you into doing what they want, but you can't fall for it.  To do so is to hand over control of your life, identity & very soul to another mortal, fallible human.  Give them as much time & space as they need to come to terms with it, but never compromise your integrity in your own life.  You don't have to rub it in their faces or be a right-fighter, but you must live your truth in private if nothing else.  And in the meantime surround yourself with as many accepting people as you can to form a strong support network.  

I now see pushing boundaries & "enlightening" the closed-minded in my circle (by example, not preaching) as part of my life purpose, as egotistical as that sounds.  I've been doing it since I was little in many ways if I really think about it.  It's very gratifying to see the opinion/acceptance needle move in your family and know it's because of you, as you're the only gay/autistic/leftist/feminist/agnostic/whatever person they know.  It can be a lonely existence, but you gotta find the bright spots where you can.  Being the Black sheep in a very white family can't be all baa-aad.  (Sorry).  🖤🕯🐑

All About Kratom: Varieties, Safety, Vendors & More in 2024

Thought we were overdue for a good kratom article, so here's my attempt at a very basic informative article on Mitragyna speciosa, a plant almost as widespread and diverse in effects as cannabis.  Once thought to only grow in parts of Thailand & Borneo, kratom is now harvested from places as far-flung as Papua New Guinea, Vietnam & Bali.  While these areas may have similar climates that support the plant's growth, they each have unique soil compositions, ecosystems & other variances that can affect the end product.

But let's start with strain color (not "vein color" as previously thought), as this has the most impact on a strain's effects.  Just like with the tea plant (Camelia sinensis aka "white/green/black tea"), the age of the leaves at harvest and the drying method determine the overall potency & effect of a given kratom sample.  It is these factors that give kratom its different colors, not the central vein running through the leaves.  And with these colors come varying levels of active alkaloids--namely mitragynine, 7-hydroxymitragynine ("7-OHM") & other lesser active compounds (speciociliatine, paynantheine, speciogynine & mitraciliatine to name a few).  

White kratom - High mitragynine, low 7-OHM.  Young leaves.  Effects similar to coffee.  Increases energy, focus, motivation & mental clarity.

Green kratom - High mitragynine; medium 7-OHM.  Medium-age leaves.  Stimulating in low doses; relaxing/analgesic in higher doses.  Boosts mood & helps ease stress/anxiety.  Neither as energizing as white kratom nor as sedating as some red strains.

Red kratom - High mitragynine; high 7-OHM.  Mature leaves. Warm, analgesic & relaxing-to-sedating.  Effects most similar to opioids.  

("Strains" like bentuangie, pink & yellow are either mixtures of 2+ other strains or created by using certain fermenting techniques so they're not technically "colors" like the Big 3).

Regions

Most modern kratom strains originate in Thailand, Malaysia & Indonesia. 

Kratom comes from three main countries in SE Asia:  Thailand, Malaysia & Indonesia.  As with cannabis from around the world, a given kratom strain may not be grown in the place it's named after.  The vast majority of kratom today is grown in Indonesia regardless of where the strain originated.  Malaysia's strict anti-kratom laws make growing the plant there illegal, though the climate certainly favors its natural growth.  Thailand only recently legalized kratom in 2018, thus Indonesia's been home to kratom exports for most of its recent history.

Thailand's most well-known strains include the "Thai" and "Maeng Da" varieties, of which white varieties are very popular.  Malaysian strains are generally sold as "Malay," with Green Malay being most popular.  Indonesia is home to a wide variety of stains, some of which include Ketapang, Sunda, Indo, Hulu Kapuas, Kali, Sumatra & of course Bali & Borneo--two of the most popular red strains.  Place name used to have more meaning in the beginning of kratom's Western reign than it does these days--now it's mostly used to mark different batches of red, white or green strains from a given vendor.  In fact most vendors & kratom experts agree these names have virtually no meaning nowadays, sadly.  

When choosing a strain, focus on color first and foremost.   

 


Enhanced Blends, Extracts & Other Products

Parents who lost their son to a kratom extract - no other drugs were in his system

For the safest and most predictable kratom experience, avoid these products.  As the Tampa Bay Times article found, they can vary dramatically in alkaloid content & thus potency, putting users at risk of overdose.  The vast majority of deaths in the related Tampa Bay Times expose involving kratom were caused by these powerful extracts & enhanced blends.  If you want to get the most bang for your buck consistently without raising your tolerance, stick to plain ground leaf.  While it's certainly possible to OD on plain kratom leaf, you'd need to ingest a lot more of it than the more concentrated concoctions, plus you never know what's actually in them. 

In a world of research chemicals, tianeptine, fentanyl & other dangerous adulterants, you're better off sticking to the basics.  It's uncommon to find adulterated kratom but not unheard of.  In the 2000s a rash of deaths in Sweden were caused by an enhanced kratom blend called "Krypton" that contained a research chemical called o-desmethyltramadol.  Plain kratom leaf has not been processed with solvents & other potentially dangerous additives like these extracts & enhanced products and, while none of it is regulated by the FDA, you're better off all around with the un-enhanced leaf.




Kratom's Effects, Side Effects & Interactions

This is only a brief summary--please do your due diligence before using kratom if you take multiple medications or have a chronic health condition.  Kratom acts on a number of receptors in the brain, the primary of which is the mu-opioid receptor.  But unlike true opioids, it doesn't depress breathing even in high doses.  This makes it a promising substitute for drugs like Suboxone, methadone, heroin & other opioid pain relievers that kill hundreds of thousands of Americans per year.  However, this does NOT mean it's impossible to overdose on kratom, as it can cause death in a number of other nasty ways--perhaps nastier than simply falling asleep and forgetting to breathe.  

Snippet on kratom & Serotonin Syndrome

Kratom also binds to the serotonin, adrenaline and dopamine receptors in a way that's similar to antidepressants like Zoloft and Paxil (SSRI's), increasing serotonin levels in the body.  While this can potentially help with depression, it can also lead to a dangerous condition known as Serotonin Syndrome that can be fatal in extreme circumstances.  Many people take kratom with antidepressants without issue but there have been cases of Serotonin Syndrome, so it's worth mentioning.  5-HTP, MDMA & other drugs that act on serotonin can also have this effect when combined with kratom.  

Kratom also affects important enzymes (CYP2D6 & CYP3A4) that metabolize a number of medications, which is where its real danger lies.  Thus it's important to start with a super low dose if you take multiple medications or supplements & avoid super potent extracts and enhanced blends.  If you drink more than 3 alcoholic drinks per day or have chronic liver disease, talk to your doctor before using kratom as it has been known to trigger idiopathic liver damage in users, some of whom had no other known risk factors for liver disease.




Addiction & Withdrawal

Overall kratom is safe but potentially addictive for most users.  It's not something to start using if you're not already a chronic pain sufferer or opioid addict, and it can be deadly in high doses or when combined with certain medications.  The withdrawals tend to be on par with a high dose of codeine or a moderate dose of hydrocodone and include the typical opioid withdrawal symptoms such as cold sweats, diarrhea, insomnia, anxiety, nausea, vivid dreams/nightmares, physical pain, depression & restless legs.  Most opioid users find the withdrawals indistinguishable from those of other opioids, so beware of that before trying it.  Acute withdrawals tend to last about 5-7 days, with psychological withdrawal fading more gradually.  Sticking to occasional use will help avoid withdrawals, but if you enjoy its effects it can be tempting to overuse it due to its legality, affordable price & wide availability.  

Don't fool yourself into thinking that natural = safer with kratom.  Opiates (morphine, codeine, opium) are "natural" too--derived directly from the opium poppy--and they're capable of causing lifelong addiction, painful withdrawal & death.  Likewise, the legal status of kratom does not mean it's impossible to overdose on or that it's a 'safe' alternative to opioids.  Safety is relative & depends on the user's individual health, the dose of the drug taken & other factors.  Kratom is a rather "dirty" drug in that it acts on such a wide number of receptor systems & metabolic enzymes.  In reasonable doses it's usually fine.... usually.  But too many young, ignorant people abuse it and end up dying or throwing their lives away which is why we need age restrictions nationwide.  This would help protect users AND keep the plant legal along with other easy measures I've outlined here.  

That said, kratom can be very handy for easing withdrawals from more potent opioids like heroin, OxyContin or Dilaudid in a pinch, and it's a far safer alternative to these drugs when purchased on the street due to the fentanyl adulteration crisis.  It tends to be more readily available/affordable than methadone or Suboxone, which often have to be obtained by standing in line early in the morning at clinics, attending meetings & jumping through other hoops that not everyone has the means to jump through.  It's also useful for moderate-severe pain, insomnia & anxiety/depression, though I wouldn't recommend using it to treat those last three due to the addictive risk.  When abused or taken daily, kratom's beneficial effects on mood, energy levels & pain wane due to rising tolerance, so keeping your use of the herb occasional is the best bet if you want it to remain effective (and avoid addiction).  This is not something kids under 18 should be using recreationally or otherwise.  

In its native Indonesia, kratom leaves are merely chewed for their effects.  The way we consume the ground leaf by the spoonful would be akin to consuming coffee grounds with our coffee.  So in a way it's uncharted territory.  We don't know what pesticides, heavy metals or other harmful substances might be in our beloved leaf, so it's always best to stick to the lowest effective dose.  I don't say these things to cause alarm--I'm a long-term kratom user who would find it enraging & tragic to see the plant banned.  I just want users & potential users to be aware of ALL the benefits & risks because there's misinformation on both sides, and obscuring the truth only hurts the cause of keeping kratom legal.  That, and nobody needs to die due to a lack of information in the literal Information Age.  



Vendors

There are no shortage of kratom resellers in the U.S, all of whom source their product from Indonesian bulk suppliers overseas.  You can also purchase kratom at brick-and-mortar stores, though I much prefer buying mine online as it tends to be cheaper & I can read customer reviews first.  Some of my favorite tried & tested stateside online vendors include: Caleb's Concentrates, Benni's Botanicals, Star Stuff, Okie Kratom & All Natural Artisan.  Benni's has a wait-list and I've been "waiting" a long ass time, so don't use them if you're in a hurry.  All Natural Artisan was my very first vendor many moons ago and Caleb's is my most recently used.  Star Stuff has the most potent plain leaf I've tried in ages & Okie's offers lab test results.  To keep it short and sweet.  🖤

Disclaimer:  Everyone has their personal favorite vendor, and two people can react in completely opposite ways to the same strain so please note that I make no claims about how YOU will react to these vendors' products.  These are merely my personal favorites.  

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Toxic Tampons: A Bigger Problem Than The Media Is Letting On

In news that should shock no one, it came out recently that tampons are full of lead, arsenic, cadmium & other toxic heavy metals.  All of them including the "organic" brands.  This is particularly bad because the vagina absorbs pretty much anything that's put into it more efficiently than other parts of the body, and tampons tend to spend several DAYS per month occupying that space.  According to Al-Jazeera, around 80% of Western women use tampons, an astoundingly high number that thankfully doesn't include me.  At least not any more.

Once upon a time I was a tampon user.  Prior to that I'd never had so much as a twinge of pain during my periods.  This was noteworthy at the time because my mom made a point of telling me how awful that pain would be compared to the "menial" pain of her ripping my dreadlocked hair out of my head while picking/combing it as a kid.  "You think this hurts?  You don't know pain until you've had menstrual cramps.  Just wait!" she'd say with an almost gleeful sense of foreboding.  (Seriously, my hair was such a problem I was only allowed to wash it once a WEEK as a kid.  Somehow it didn't look greasy until the 6th day, which was Saturday.  Thankfully.  My grandma would sometimes come over on Sundays just to pick it out & spare me the agony of having my mom yank it out.  Being extremely tender-headed AND having hair that tangles so easily is a curse.  Two seconds outside in the wind & it looked like Jurnee Smollett on Full House again.  But I digress). 

My hair circa the '90s

Well that's odd I told her, because I'd been menstruating since age 12 and never had even the slightest twinge of discomfort.  This was around age 14 when I first switched from pads to tampons, a venture that didn't last long because, as surely as if I'd jinxed myself, the ungodly pain set in and was so bad by age 15 I switched back to pads.  But by then it was too late:  the cramps were permanent & disabling.  I was later diagnosed with endometriosis. 

While I don't necessarily blame tampons for causing my endometriosis and dysmenorrhea, they definitely worsened the pain and the timing was incredibly sus.  I wouldn't be the first person to have made that connection if I were to blame them.  

Pads:  also bleached w/ dioxins & full of unnecessary filth.

For the record, pads aren't likely much better in terms of chemical composition, but they do have one big advantage:  they don't go inside your vagina where said chemicals will be absorbed directly into your bloodstream at such high concentrations.  Still, try to limit the amount of time you use pads if at all possible because yikes.




Women's Products: a Toxic Waste Dump

Beyond lead: 16 toxic metals found in popular brands

Why do women get dementia at higher rates than men, neurologists often wonder?  Must be something to do with menopause and declining hormones.  Because that's their answer for everything--those pesky "lady hormones".  So why don't hormone replacement therapies improve dementia rates in women if hormones are to blame?  

Because they're probably not.  At least not to the extent they're being blamed. 

There's likely one or more environmental/lifestyle factors that's responsible for the higher rates of dementia  in women, though to date we haven't been able to tease them out because women are exposed to so many damn unhealthy substances & habits.  One thing we do know:  heavy metals like mercury, lead & arsenic are toxic to neurons, causing them to irreversibly shrivel up and die upon contact.  We also know that women's beauty products are full to the brim with not only these toxic heavy metals but a plethora of other dangerous chemicals.  

From women's makeup to nail polish, household cleaning products, hair color, body wash, perfume, hair spray & all the other random and totally unnecessary "hygiene" and "beauty" products we slather on daily, we're slowly poisoning ourselves.  Black women have it worst of all with their toxic-sludge-masquerading-as-hair-straightener that's now suspected of being responsible for the astronomical rate of fibroids in Black women compared to whites.  Use of this straightener is often reinforced at workplaces that deem natural Black hair "unprofessional".  Many of the ingredients in our cosmetics have been banned in other Western countries, deemed "probable carcinogens" or "likely teratogens".  (My sister has now fainted TWICE in the nail salon and still isn't getting the message that those fucking chemicals are toxic AF).  

Breast cancer rates in the U.S. increased so much in 2nd half of the 20th Century it's mind-boggling, more than doubling by 52% from 1950 to 1990, a horrifying fact they try to bury under "improved survival rates" (which only rose a measly 4% in that time.  Impressive, but significantly less so when combined with those horrifying incidence rates).  But is this truly all that "mind-boggling"?  Much of the poison in these products is endocrine-disrupting in nature, meaning it mimics our body's own hormones like estrogen and progesterone.  A whopping 80% of female and 90% of male breast cancers are estrogen receptor positive these days, meaning estrogen or anything resembling it fits into the receptors on these tumors & causes them to grow.  This is what you don't want when dealing with cancer--unrestricted growth.  And there's no shortage of estrogen impersonators in our environment nowadays, from hormonal contraceptives to Bisphenol A (BPA), phthalates, atrazine, PCBs and the dioxins mentioned in the 1st linked article.  Yes, dioxins have been known to exist in tampons for decades due to to the bleaching methods used.  Because God forbid our tampons are off-white.  🙄

Worse, body fat/adipose tissue produces estrogen, increasing overall levels of this potentially harmful hormone in the body.  With overweight and obesity levels rising astronomically in the West, you can hopefully see why this is a problem.

Yuschenko before & after dioxin poisoning.

If you aren't familiar with dioxins as a class of super-poisons, perhaps Vladimir Putin & his KGB minions could school you on them.  He used them to poison his political opponent Viktor Yuschenko in 2004, resulting in permanent disfiguration of his face among other horrific side effects.  (See photo above).  Tampons have already been found to contain PFAS, aka "forever chemicals," a common and persistent type of endocrine disruptor.  What are they gonna find in them next?  Agent Orange?! 

Agent Orange contains dioxins.  Tampons are bleached with dioxins.

Oh.

In case you aren't up on the effects of heavy metals, they're no better.  Lead is stored in the bones, displacing calcium and leaching out when bone mass is lost due to aging.  This releases it into the bloodstream causing deleterious effects like high blood pressure, mood disorders, joint pain, headache & stomach pain, infertility in men/miscarriage in women and cognitive problems.  And this is in adults--the effects are far worse in children & can include mental retardation, personality disorders or other irreversible damage.  Acute arsenic toxicity can cause vomiting, diarrhea & tingling in the hands and feet.  Long-term exposure may lead to cancer of the skin/bladder/lungs, hyperpigmentation of the skin, diabetes, heart & lung disease.  Mercury might be worse than either of those, causing... well, just see for yourself:   

Systemic Toxicological Effects & Symptoms of Mercury Poisoning

Taking Back Our Power

I understand the persuasive power of advertising on the collective psyche & individual purchasing choices, but at what point do you say enough is enough; that trading your health and eventually your very LIFE and maybe that of your developing fetus for a few hours of smelling good or a few weeks of having pretty nails is not fucking worth it?  Am I REALLY such a Josie Grosie weirdo for not wasting my money on this toxic sludge--for seeing it as the poison it is from a young age & erring on the side of caution instead of microdosing poison to "fit in"?  I guess that's a stupid question when so many gorgeous, perfectly-built women are dropping dead from Brazilian Butt Lifts and having their faces rearranged to look like an Instagram filter.  When every feature down to eyebrow thickness is determined by celebrity trends, we have a problem, ladies.   🙎🏻‍♀

We can blame our regulatory agencies all day, but when it comes down to it, we have the final say in what goes in and on our bodies (at least in this regard).  Not nearly enough research or critical thinking is happening with this particular aspect of our health.  The skin is the body's largest organ, and it's very absorbent.  What you put on it goes IN your bloodstream, and anything you put in your mouth, vagina or rectum has an even more direct route to the brain & other organs.  Breathing caustic fumes is likewise harmful.  Just because the effects aren't visible immediately doesn't mean harm isn't being done.  

I find it insane and a bit disturbing that women will put themselves & their pets on a whole-ass raw vegan diet or go around rubbing their vaginal secretions on things if a TikToker calls it a catchy name like "vabbing" & extolls its virtues, but cutting back on the unnecessary, expensive & TOXIC cosmetics is apparently a bridge too far.  That's your call, but just like the tanning bed trend and other destructive habits women have succumbed to (literally) over the years, it's your real life & health you're gambling with.  It's clear these unregulated industries aren't looking out for us--just the opposite.  The FDA & EPA are in the pocket of chemical companies, Big Ag and Pharma giants, so good luck getting any actual "regulation" out of them by passively waiting or politely asking.  

If I were a tampon user, here's what I would do: 

1.)  Sit down and pen a quick but direct letter to the manufacturer of my favorite brand letting them know how these findings make me feel & inquiring what they're doing to ensure safety going forward.  Then I'd post it on their social media, Yelp, LinkedIn or other public online page.  Or you can write the same type/tone of letter to your state representative or directly to the FDA.  As long as you make your voice heard somewhere other than social media where it actually counts.

2.)  Next, I'd look into tampon alternatives (by Googling "tampon alternatives") & choose one that's a good fit for me.  There are many options, a few of which include:  traditional pads, menstrual cups, menstrual discs, reusable pads & period panties.  The only one I'd suggest staying away from are sea sponges, as the FDA has categorized them as "significant risk" products* (though their credibility is a tad strained due to all the other deadly 'oopsies' they've overlooked or greenlighted since their inception, including metal and dioxin-laced tampons). 

3.)  Talk about this issue any time you have the chance, educating your friends & loved ones about the scale & impact of the problem.  You needn't become a menstrual product crusader, but this shit has affected far too many women for way too long to be brushed off as no big deal, which is exactly what reporters & health officials are trying to do now.  I've seen countless articles that essentially pat women on the head & tell us to "calm down," which is really insulting to my intelligence.  Yeah, lead-laced tampons by themselves might not kill me tomorrow, but there are many more types of harm than sudden unexpected death.  Chronic pain, fatigue, mental illness, cognitive impairment, pandemic-level ailments like hypertension & heart disease that kill you slowly & painfully... these are some of the effects of heavy metal exposure over time. 

And they are cumulative--the lead/arsenic/whatever else in tampons just adds to the toxic sludge bucket that's already full from the other poisonous products we're exposed to every day, which is a lot because so many of our consumer products are made in countries like China with zero regulatory oversight.  And that's not even getting into our toxic air, water & food.  This all adds up to a BIG FUCKING PROBLEM.  You have a right and, quite frankly, a responsibility to get angry about this.  Not just women but men too.  This affects everyone who has a wife, sister, mother, daughter, female friend or cares about a female person.  Scratch that:  everyone who cares about the safety of widely used consumer products in the U.S.  Where's Ralph Nader when you need him?  Oh yeah, voters tarred & feathered him when he ran 3rd party in 2000.  Guess we shat our own nest on that one.  💩 🪹

The media's right about one thing though:  We shouldn't worry.  Worrying solves nothing.  Get mad and then resolve to boycott these scumbag poison peddlers instead.  Then get as many of your friends onboard as possible by educating them on the problem (Pssst, share this article!) and the alternatives to toxic tampons.  I'd be all over a class action lawsuit if somebody wanted to get one rolling too.  We need to start speaking the only language these greedy corporations understand:  money.  This country has a dark history of selling blatantly unsafe products & procedures to women specifically and it will never stop if we don't use our collective purchasing power & take a stand.  (See:  Advertising Lysol/Listerine as a douche; radioactive skin care products; make-up comprised entirely of lead; Rely tampons & the toxic shock scandal; talcum powder with and without asbestos causing ovarian cancer; DES (diethylstilbestrone); Fen-Phen, & the Brazilian Butt Lifts of today to name a FEW).  Instead of "cancelling" celebrities over stupid offensive comments they make on Twitter, use your purchasing power to boycott these toxic companies & make a real difference.  

*Seriously though, avoid shoving a sea sponge up your hoo-ha unless you're cool with introducing "sand, grit, bacteria, yeast & mold" including Staphylococcus aureus into your most intimate parts).  👍

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