All these lame-ass male centered New Age religions are just as bad as the old organized ones, they're just subtler in their sexism and oppression of women. One of the overarching objectives is to remind women every 2 seconds where the fuck our place is (beneath them or equal-to-but-hopelessly-enmeshed-with-or-dependent-on them), what our role in society is (helping/nurturing men & children; being passive & overly needy so they can swoop in & save us with their rational, action-oriented brains) & where our value lies (between our legs & with our willingness to quietly tolerate their shit i.e. "balancing the masculine").
First things first: women make up roughly 50% of the human population. Racial stereotypes are bad enough, but nobody questions sex/gender stereotypes, and they're everywhere in New Age BS. And they're even LESS accurate because how could this (or any) handful of traits describe half the people on Earth? That'd be approximately 4 BILLION people, all from far-flung and diverse cultures, geographic locations, socioeconomic backgrounds, education levels & more. We are as diverse as the seashells on all the beaches of Earth, all the wildflowers dotting all the meadows, every star in every galaxy in the entire expanse of universe. Just like men are. Yet these religions claim that women are "naturally" more emotional, nurturing, intuitive, giving, passive, creative & communicative (in pink) while men are logical, analytical, adventurous, action-oriented, strong, protective & courageous. (In blue).
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The REAL "Divine Masculine/Feminine"
Did it ever occur to you that, A of all, not all people engage in or relate to hetero sex and, #2, defining a person's whole-ass god-given personality/role on Earth around a single sex act is kinda pervy and excessive? If not, it's probably because you're A STRAIGHT MAN or aren't in the habit of questioning things in general.
It's clear to anyone with rudimentary critical thinking skills that men created these "spiritual disciplines" just like they created Islam & Christianity and all the others that feature NO female prophets, Gods, messiahs or authors for the same purpose: to create social hierarchies & rituals that make life predictable & easy to "manage" (read: control). In those texts, women are relegated to roles that revolve entirely around their fertility, sexuality & proximity to men: virgin, whore, concubine, temptress, mother, etc. Not a word about their intellect, hopes/dreams, talents or potential for spiritual growth beyond how they serve a holy man. Slaves were considered 3/5ths human during colonial times... what percentage are modern women if our worth & admittance into Heaven is dependent on how, when & for whom we spread our legs?
Funny how all of us, every single one of the 8+ billion people on Earth today & for all of history, came from a man AND a woman, yet the universe was supposedly created solely by one angry male god who sent his significantly less angry male son here to save us from ourselves. Father, Son, Holy Spirit. No Mother, Daughter, Holy Essence. Said savior had Earthly parents but all we know about his mom was that she was (allegedly) a virgin--that's literally all the Bible's authors felt was noteworthy about the mother of the Messiah. What about Joseph, Jesus' father? Was he a virgin too? What'd he get up to for fun in his bachelor days? Did he save himself for marriage or was he used up like a piece of old chewing gum by the time he got to the Virgin Mary?
The Bible tells us Eve came from Adam's rib when we all know that's not how that works; never in history has a man birthed a woman, but in fairytale religion land where men make the rules, down is up, black is white & slavery is freedom. It's not enough they leave us completely out of the creation myth, they also relegate us to being mere pieces of men--generic offshoots sent to serve as muses & to be blamed for every mistake every grown man makes, starting on Day 1 with getting booted from the Garden of Eden. They claim we have penis envy but what is the "women came from the rib" story if not the ultimate womb envy? And how can men be superior intellectually if we are able to so easily lead them astray at every turn? These teachings have very serious real-world consequences today, such as the entitlement of forced-birther men who believe they have a say in what goes on in our wombs.
Sadly not much has changed 2,000+ years later. We're almost never in positions of real power (billionaire CEO, president, military general, banker). Religion--whether Orthodox, liberal, reform, old school, New Age or niche/cult, serves the same purpose: to create structure, purpose & discipline (i.e. societal control) through a series of carefully-crafted doctrines & rituals, promising enlightenment, relief from suffering, forgiveness of sin, self-improvement, rewards in the afterlife or other highly sought-after rewards. However what it ends up delivering is more of the same groupthink, narrow restrictive worldviews & anti-individualist, anti-science escapism with which to decorate one's ego. An alternative "tribe" or group to belong to outside the popular/mainstream religions. A temporary salve for one's problems that does little to bring about the promises of self-actualization, closeness to God or a clear/calm mind.
If such a thing as "God" exists, it cannot be described with our pathetically inadequate attempts at language and is an entirely individual experience. Trying to talk about such a magnificent & indescribable thing comes off cheap & cliche at best. The idea that 2 people, let alone hundreds or millions, could attain union with the divine through a series of the same low-effort, uninspired rituals is patently ridiculous. It also gives the appearance of not being very secure in one's faith. The need to evangelize, expand, save souls, go on "missions" or otherwise focus outward instead of going inward is a sure sign that you're looking for validation, strength in numbers... reassurance. Like, "If this many people believe the same thing, it MUST be true, right?" I'll never forget when my mom said the quiet part out loud: "God has to be real or else there wouldn't be all these churches." 🥴
Indeed, the existence of so many churches in the Bible Belt serves as a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy/logic loop with no off-ramp. "The churches exist because God is real and God is real because the churches exist. It's true because the Bible says it and the Bible says it because it's true." The problem is that people turn to these churches instead of evidence-based treatment centers for serious drug addiction, mental illness, marital problems including domestic & child abuse... the list goes on. They send their kids off to Vacation Bible School, church camp & youth group without supervision & assume it's safe because it's "godly," when that's actually where predators are statistically most likely to lurk. People with a history of addictions of all kinds including commiting sex crimes on impulse turn to churches/Christ to "get their lives back on track" and share their testimony, but often without getting the actual help they need or facing real legal repercussions for past crimes. This is a time bomb waiting to explode on whichever defenseless person is left alone with them at the wrong time. I personally have seen so many horror stories of pastors, youth pastors, youth church camp leaders & others in direct supervisory roles who have committed brutal sex offenses AT religious functions & most got away with it completely or got very light sentences.
Avoiding the Pitfalls of Organized Religion/Cults
If you think the New Age community is free of these kinds of predators, you'd be sadly mistaken. From Keith Raniere (NXIVM) to Amy "Mother God" Carlson (Love Has Won) to Ma Anand Sheela & Osho of Rajneeshpuram, the "spiritual-not-religious" world is full to the brim with power-hungry control freaks who sell followers a dream & deliver a nightmare. So what's a person to do for spiritual nourishment & soul renewal?
Rule #1: Avoid groups. That goes for religion, politics, & pretty much anything else in life. With spirituality, groups of any size or type are at risk of becoming cults or MLM-type pyramid schemes with imbalances of power & money (or sexual exploitation) as the primary focus.
To avoid the seedy hierarchies associated with organized religion, simply stay away from the "organized" part. Do the things that make YOU feel refreshed and renewed physically, mentally & emotionally. Whether spending time in nature doing a repetitive/relaxing activity like fishing, camping or gardening; dancing naked in your apartment to your fave uplifting music, meditating on the porch on a rainy day or doing something creative like drawing, journaling or making a vision board, the path to paradise is through YOU, not other people. Between work, school & the soul-crushing obligations of everyday life, we spend so much time around other people that the last thing most of us need is to be surrounded with more people while listening to some self-appointed guru ramble. Get comfortable sitting in solitude with your feelings & thoughts; it's where you'll have the most insights & revelations anyway.
Rule #2: Define your goals. What is it you WANT out of your spiritual journey/practice? Be specific. It can be anything from being more in tune with your intuition, getting through a rough patch in life with as much grace as possible, finding meaning in the mundane, surrenduring to something greater than yourself, becoming the best version of yourself you can be.... pretty much anything! However, keep it realistic: Spirituality will not deliver your dream lover to your doorsep or make you a billionaire, but it can help you learn to be more aware in the present moment which in turn increases the chances you'll make the most of any opportunities that come your way. If it's a big long-term goal you may find that breaking it down into smaller parts is helpful. Review & update your goals as often as needed, logging your progress whenever you feel you've completed/achieved one successfully. Give yourself credit for how far you've come, as this will encourage further progress.
Rule #3: Gratitude. While being grateful for good things isn't the same as happiness or joy, it never hurts to count your blessings. No need to compare traumas or hardships as that's not how the nervous system works--others may have been through tough times that were technically "worse" than yours, but that takes nothing away from your struggles. Simply look around and take note of the good things you presently have, whether it's your health, family or what have you. Do this in good times as well as bad so you don't begin to associate it only with hardship.
Rule #4: To paraphrase from the Bible, faith without works is dead. So do the work on yourself. Get in shape, go to therapy, break the addictions, put yourself in the shop & WORK ON YOURSELF. Then share the abundance with others by giving back to those around you who are less fortunate. This doesn't have to mean materially: maybe it's just a smile, compliment or kind word. Whatever you do, do it the way Jesus did: for no personal gain or recognition. This is not easy but it's where true change happens.
Rule #5: Strive for Godly equality in all things. Hold yourself to the same standards as others & vice versa. Seek to rid yourself of any double standards in your life, whether they're based on sex/gender, wealth/power, race, age or other differences that may cause subconscious favoritism. And if you hold any racist, sexist, homophobic or xenophobic beliefs, now is the time to get rid of them for good.
If there's a God or divine creator, he/she/it didn't create humans to waste our lives dividing ourselves into meaningless categories based on superficial traits like race/sex/religion that determine our place in the world. We're supposed to be able to see PAST these things to the content of the character, aka the soul or spirit of the person. Their behavior, conduct & what's in their heart. Practice doing this in your everyday life at work, with your children & any time you're tasked with meting out justice. If the concept of "judgment day" is real, you'll certainly hope the ultimate Judge is fair & just rather than punishing you simply for being "short" "American" or "from a middle class family". (And if reincarnation is real, some of you should be shaking in your Prada boots about the things you've said about poor people in wartorn countries, lest you come back as one of them).
Rule #6: The Golden One. What Goes Around Comes Around. Karma. Whatever you call it, this is an easy way to attract good people & things into your life. Be conscious of your words & actions and treat others how you'd like to be treated.
Rule #7: When you fail in these or other things, apologize sincerely & make amends. Nobody's perfect. Even Christ himself lost it and flipped a table once, so rid yourself of the notion that you are or can ever be perfect. Humility is a virtue we should all seek to be as humble as possible. We're living in an age of narcissism with the rise of social media, instant gratification, influencers, reality TV stars & selfies. "Keep it real" is more than a hip hop mantra--being your true genuine self rather than creating a fake life to impress others is worth its weight in gold. Real people make mistakes and GOOD people make amends.
*Male brain/female brain are simplifications & not set-in-stone scientific terms. These statements are general terms & do not always apply.
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