Yep, it's officially 2025. 2024 is in the rearview & we're peeling out, kicking up dust as we screech & tear away from it as fast as our oversized gas-guzzling SUVs can carry us. Nobody wants to relive it, not this soon, but it's vital we learn from the past or we're doomed to repeat it. 2024 was a leap year, and like all leap years it was also a presidential election year and year of the Summer Olympics. For some reason I've always noted that these three events occur together every 4 years all my life. In cultural news, Taylor Swift won Album of the Year, Billie Eyelash won Song of the Year and Billy Ray Cyrus's daughter won Record of the Year (what the hell's the difference between "Album" and "Record"? Oh who gives a crap, nobody buys music anymore because music doesn't exist anymore). I couldn't sing a single lyric or note from any of these "artist's" catalogs and I'm better for it, but it's good to see so many female winners I guess. In other music news, Beyonce released a faux-Country album while Toby Keith died from stomach cancer at age 62. I'm sure these events are not related.
In shitty movie news, Inside Out 2 was the highest grossing film of the year and surpassed The Lion King to become highest-grossing animated film of all time. Deadpool & Wolverine came in 2nd to become Disney's highest-grossing R-rated film ever, breaking the 34-year record set by Pretty Woman in 1990, while Wicked was #3 of the year. Blue Ivy Carter made her movie debut in Mufasa: The Lion King, a musical drama produced by Walt Disney Pictures while her daddy dealt with a whole heap of legal trouble. Again, I've never seen any of these movies (sans the OG Lion King) and have no desire to. OJ Simpson kicked the bucket in April to mixed reviews and Morgan Spurlock of Supersize Me fame followed in May. Chita Rivera passed at the age of 91 in January and beloved fashion designer Iris Apfel died at 102 years young in March.
This "walking death rattle" as Jimmy Dore referred to him, made Jimmy Carter look like a Spring chicken.
In political news, the war on Gaza was the big elephant in the room (besides the Republicans) that neither candidate wanted to touch with a 10-foot pole. Instead, they talked about Haitians eating dogs at the debate and whatever incoherent word salad Biden was serving up at the podium. He was later seen sporting a Donald Trump hat after "stepping down" to make way for the People's DNC's Choice, Kamala Harris. That's right: there were no primaries or other democratic pretenses to choose who would be running in his stead, she was just crowned the nominee and they ran with it. Sort of like they tried to do with Hillary before Wikileaks caught them and that whole shitshow erupted in 2016. And it bit them (read: us) in the ass when Trump won both times.
Speaking of Trump, he was shot in the ear at one rally & narrowly missed another alleged assassin's attempt to cut him down at Epstein hangout Mar-A-Lago not long after, neither of which made as much of a splash newswise as you'd expect. His whole campaign seemed rather "meh," and he even stated this would be his last time running if he didn't win. Guess all those federal trials and attempts on your life will have that effect. All this paled in comparison to the truly BIG news that was Diddy, Jay-Z and CEO killer Luigi Mangione. And drones. Can't forget the giant drones. Also of note: Green Party candidate Jill Stein dunked on Kamala Harris and the Dems throughout election season with some absolutely on-point political ads, memes & talking points, particularly having to do with the issue of the war on Gaza. They predictably ignored her after trying to sue the Green Party off the ballot in every state like the democracy-hating thugs they are.
One of many eye-opening posts by the Stein/Ware campaign on Instagram in 2024
In drug news, super-potent synthetics were all the rage as a result of America's neverending War on Drugs. According to the DEA (I'm not linking to their fucking website):
"Seizures of fentanyl, in both powder and pill form, are at record levels. Over the past two years seizures of fentanyl powder nearly doubled. DEA seized 13,176 kilograms (29,048 pounds) in 2023. Meanwhile, the more than 79 million fentanyl pills seized by DEA in 2023 is almost triple what was seized in 2021. Last year, 30% of the fentanyl powder seized by DEA contained xylazine. That is up from 25% in 2022."
Well it looks like you're doing a bangup job then, aren't you fellas. And who do they blame? Why, China and the Mexican cartels, of course! They claim these two dark forces have teamed up to create a sort of drug superhighway under which Americans are trapped. Which we all know is bullshit. We could stop this unnecessary carnage tomorrow with the stroke of a pen by legalizing less potent drugs like heroin, morphine, cocaine, amphetamine, meth and other opioids/stimulants including plant-based ones (coca, opium poppies, ephedra, khat, etc). Regulating the drug supply for purity and educating the public on safer use would eliminate the adulteration problem, take foreign cartels, manufacturers & dealers out of the equation completely & bring the profits home to local governments where they could be poured back into funding science-based drug treatment programs & other beneficial community projects. But the DEA and other 3-letter agencies have no desire to actually stop killing us, so we'll keep dying in 2025 and beyond.
Of course the news stories that will have the biggest effect on humankind and the planet--that being climate change, bird flu's steady inroads toward human-to-human transmission and the eternal capitalist destruction of the planet via pollution/carbon emissions/private equity firms buying up affordable housing like trailer parks went mostly unreported or underreported. This was not merely a bug but a feature of the corporate-owned media's lousy reporting. It's what you can expect when like 6 billionaires own every single news outlets in the country.
...really? THIS is the graphic you choose for the most deadly flu in existence? 🤦🏻♀
Well that was depressing. Here's hoping things start looking up in the new year. Something tells me they won't though. Americans have this thing where they'd rather go down with a familiar old sinking ship in a blaze of self-righteous retardation than take a chance & try something different by hopping onto a new & unfamiliar life raft... even if that life raft would, you know, SAVE THEIR LIVES. (See: All the "faith over fear" folks who literally died to prove a point during the height of COVID, only admitting they were horribly wrong when it was too late).
Since inflation hit and the cost of living just keeps rising, I decided to start tracking the increase in prices of basic groceries like milk, eggs, water & toilet paper just to see in realtime how it changes. These are screenshots from my local Walmart, all sorted by "Lowest Price". I guess this is the "1st Annual" installment, so follow along as I try to remember to keep up with it at the end of each year, ha.
Cheapest gallons of milk: whole, 2% and 1% (first 3 from left)
Black people found the death of Kim Porter--model, actress & mother of Puff Daddy's children--suspicious back when it happened in 2018. This was long before the current Diddy sex trafficking charges were laid. Her cause of death was listed as "deferred" on her death certificate until an autopsy could be performed, which it was the very next day, though the results took quite a while to be released publicly. In January of the following year, it was announced that Kim Porter died of lobar pneumonia. Case closed. Fast forward to 2023 when P. Diddy was charged with a litany of sex abuse/trafficking charges and people like Al B. Sure! called for another look into his ex's sudden death. (Sure accused Diddy of poisoning him and causing his health scare, which included a bizarre combination of fungal pneumonia(!), renal failure, sepsis & the need for a liver transplant which he thankfully received).
How could a healthy, fit young woman of only 47 drop dead of PNEUMONIA when she had the best healthcare money could buy? Suspicions only deepened when the horrific truth about her babydaddy came to light in 2023-2024 with his property raids & arrest. Could Sean "Puffy" Combs have poisoned or otherwise caused the death of Mrs. Porter, who was said to be working on a tell-all book at the time of death? Diddy has since been linked to the deaths of Tupac Shakur and tentatively, his very own artist Biggie Smalls, aka Notorious B.I.G. That's to say nothing of the violent rapes & beatings of various women & others, which proves his ability to be cold & brutal. Let's look at the facts without any of the sensationalism, shall we?
(Spoiler: things get a tad sensational near the end). 😬
Kim Porter's Autopsy Findings
Autopsy summary w/ my commentary in red.
In order to discuss Kim's autopsy findings, first we must find Kim's autopsy. And that was no easy feat even for this seasoned Google-Fu detective. I had to use an alternative search engine & enter her full government name, but I finally found it. What I got was a lengthy Pdf with "amended" parts added at the end, including a bacteriology report that was quite confusing. Her official cause of death is lobar pneumonia of the bacterial type--an insidious disease capable of taking out even young, healthy people. But that's not the confusing thing here.
Excellent interview w/ doctor about autopsy findings
A few things stuck out to me about this autopsy. Firstly, the name of her treating physician who performed house calls in the days leading up to her death was redacted throughout the report. This is relatively rare and I'm not quite sure what it means. Perhaps he/she is under investigation? Secondly, she had signs of "blunt force trauma" on her arms, though it didn't sound like it was anything too severe--just some minor bruising. Third, the report claims Kim was only sick for 4 days, which conflicts with the state of her body at death. A doctor who was interviewed at length on CourtTV (see above) states unequivocally that she had to be sick much longer in order for her lungs to weigh that much and for the pleural effusion to be that severe. Her liver and spleen were also enlarged/inflamed, possibly pointing to an underlying or chronic illness. More on that later.
Finally and most suspiciously, the autopsy contains a bacteriology report tacked on at the end almost as an afterthought. In it are reports that Kim Porter's blood contained 4 strains of deadly bacteria: fusobacterium necrophorum, an unspecified clostridium species, enterobacterium faecalis & a citrobacter species. This points to a case of complicated sepsis--incredibly complicated. The question then becomes, how did Kim get all these deadly bacteria in her system, what role did they play in her death and why wasn't her immune system capable of getting them under control? And why is cause of her death listed simply as "lobar pneumonia" if her bloodstream showed signs of poisoning with all these bacteria?
Pneumonia: Insidious Killer of the Young
People underestimate just how deadly pneumonia can be. When it took the lives of both Brittany Murphy & husband Simon Monjack in 2009, the world was in disbelief, with Brittany's father Angelo Bertolotti claiming she must've been poisoned. But her strain of pneumonia, staphylococcus aureus, was traced back to Puerto Rico where she was filming the movie The Caller a month earlier. She was also severely anemic and avoiding hospitals due to fear of tabloids writing more hit pieces on her, both of which allowed the illness to overwhelm her system. Her use of over-the-counter medications suppressed symptoms so that she didn't likely realize just how sick she was until it was too late.
Like Murphy, Kim Porter made a trip abroad in the month preceding her death: she'd gone to an unspecified location in Africa but claimed she felt fine upon returning. Nothing more is made of this trip to a known hotzone for disease in the autopsy report, though I think it should be considering all the bizarre and rare strains of bacteria in her blood. Were one or more of these pathogens contracted in Africa or on the way to/from there?
Pneumonia also took the life of rapper Eazy-E in 1995, though this was a different kind: pneumocystis carinii, a type common in sufferers of HIV/AIDS. Unlike most patients with AIDS, Eazy didn't know he was infected until incredibly late in the course of his illness, by which point only supportive care could be given. (His sudden death also raised suspicions of foul play in the Hip Hop community). In 2011, singer Broadcast (Trish Keenan) died of pneumonia at age 42 after battling Swine Flu.
My younger brother nearly died of pneumonia a few years ago, collapsing outside the entrance to Wal-Mart while trying to pretend he wasn't as sick as he was. Most people believe that respiratory infections are an expected, normal and largely harmless thing in the winter months but this belief can be deadly, especially for those with a tendency to downplay pain or illness. Influenza kills roughly 37,000 Americans annually, making it the 7th leading cause of death overall. Bacterial pneumonia like the kind Kim Porter had usually follows a viral infection like the flu, COVID, RSV or a bad cold, and treatment-resistant pneumonia that doesn't respond to common antibiotics has risen a scary 20% in the post-COVID era.
The comedy world was rocked by the death of Bernie Mac in 2008 when he passed from pneumonia with sarcoidosis as the main underlying cause. Rapper Krayzie Bone nearly died from sarcoidosis complications in 2023, lying in a medically-induced coma for 9 days while doctors tried to stop the bleeding in his lungs.
Sarcoidosis nearly killed rapper Krayzie Bone at only age 50.
Underlying Chronic Disease?
Sarcoidosis is one known cause of enlarged liver and spleen
Which raises the question: did Kim Porter have a chronic health condition like sarcoidosis? This autoimmune disease, like all others, disproportionately affects women, with Black people being even more heavily impacted than other races. If she had the disease, which causes characteristic nodules in the lungs and elsewhere, it was not noted at autopsy. Sarcoidosis is one of the conditions listed as a possible cause of hepatomegaly and splenomegaly--both of which Porter exhibited at autopsy (see above).
Or did she have a progressive immune disease like HIV/AIDS? We'll never know because the virus was not tested for, though many other viruses were (none were found). An immune-destroying disease like AIDS would explain the presence of so many opportunistic infections at death, and in theory she could've acquired it from sleeping with a promiscuous bisexual man like Diddy, with whom we know she had unprotected sex because she bore his children. In no way am I claiming that Diddy has HIV or that Porter in fact had the virus, but I'm struggling to find another reason her body could be in such bad shape and she could die after such a short illness. It's practically the only thing the autopsy didn't check for (unless I'm missing something).
Bodyguard Gene Deal claims that Bad Boy rapper Craig Mack actually died of AIDS, not heart failure like he claimed, so the disease was definitely floating around Diddy's circle if true.
Another Possibility: Lemierre's Syndrome
Fusobacterium necrophorum (one of the 4 bacterial strains in Kim's blood) is known to cause a now-rare disease called Lemierre Syndrome, a potentially fatal infection of the tonsils & jugular vein that causes symptoms quite similar to what Kim suffered in her final days. It's described as follows:
No abnormalities noted in her jugular vein, but were they looking?
Her symptoms were definitely in line with this disease, and the presence of this bizarrely rare bacterium at autopsy could in theory point to Lemierre's as a contributing cause of death. Here's a list of Lemierre's symptoms with Kim's symptoms underlined in red:
Kim's (known) symptoms underlined in red.
The fact that this disease is rare nowadays and causes vague, extremely common symptoms would make it much harder to catch in time. But it still doesn't explain the presence of all those OTHER bacteria in her system.
About Those Bacteria
Enterococcus faecalisis a strain of bacteria found in the intestinal tract. It's harmless when taken as a probiotic, but when present in the bloodstream it can cause fatal infections & is often found in re-infected root canal treated teeth. It tends toward antibiotic resistance & is especially prevalent in hospital environments. Illnesses caused by this bacterium include UTI, meningitis, endocarditis & sepsis. It is shed in human feces & has been found in swimming pools & other recreational water supplies.
Fusobacterium necrophorum also resides in the GI tracts of humans & animals as well as the female genital tract and in wet or muddy environments around cattle/horses. It causes a number of benign and serious infections in humans & animals, including 10% of acute sore throats, 21% of recurrent sore throats & thrombosis in the jugular vein, a condition known as Lemierre's Syndrome (see above). It's generally treated with metronidazole or augmentin.
The other 2 bacterial strains were nonspecific: a clostridium and citrobacter strain. The former genus includes the germs that cause tetanus, botulism & C. diff diarrhea--an often-deadly & resistant bowel disease. The latter is ubiquitous in soil, water and the human body and may be antibiotic-resistant as well. Citrobacter are described as "opportunistic" and are also more common in hospital settings.
Patients who are acutely ill, have just had surgery, are on immune-suppressing drugs for cancer or organ transplants or intubated are more prone to developing these nasty resistant infections which is why they're more common in hospitals, as that's where these patients congregate. As for why any 1 of them, let alone all four, would be present in the system of a fit, otherwise healthy adult woman being treated in her own home, that's a mystery to me. An even bigger mystery is why the reason is not explored in the autopsy report and further investigation can't be found anywhere online. Go ahead and try searching any combo of "Kim Porter ____ (one of these strains of bacteria)". You'll come up empty.
My Conclusion
The autopsy, in my not-so-professional opinion, is factually accurate but woefully incomplete. It's kinda like saying someone died of "cardiac arrest". While technically true that Kim Porter died with pneumonia, the real question is why her lungs, liver, spleen and chest cavity were able to to be overrun with purulent infection at such a rapid rate, causing her organs to fill with pus & swell to triple their size. In addition, the presence of multiple treatment-resistant bacteria in her blood is totally unexplored--why were these bacteria in her body, where did they come from & how much did they contribute to her death? Healthy people do not have those bacteria in their bloodstream, full stop. There's little question THAT they contributed to her demise, yet they're treated like an afterthought in the autopsy.
Furthermore, should the rest of us be concerned about the presence of these bacteria in the community? Did Kim have an underlying disease like sarcoidosis or HIV that allowed a routine illness to spread out of control? Why was she allowed to "request" a specific antibiotic when she didn't even know for sure if her illness was bacterial? That's a doctor's job. Was she REALLY only sick 4 days or did she likely downplay/ignore symptoms much longer? Did someone discourage her from seeking medical care sooner or in hospital? Furthermore, by redacting the name of her treating physician, you deny the public the ability to make an informed decision about whether to choose this doctor in our own care--a doctor who had a patient die while under his/her care. We have a right to informed consent, especially with the outrageous cost of healthcare in this country.
Intentionally vague?
The "lobar pneumonia" language is the same eerily vague language used to describe Al B. Sure!'s life-threatening illnesses, which even he seems baffled about. They're referred to only as a "health scare" or "2-month coma ordeal" (lol wtf) in media reports. In reality he was offered hospice care by doctors after acute renal failure & a 2-month induced coma & liver transplant, all of which started when he collapsed in the studio while recording music one day. Additional digging reveals he too was suffering pneumonia (fungal type which could've come from intubation) & has alluded to Diddy causing his sickness.
WHAT IN THE EVERLOVING FUCK?!
Al B. Sure! intubated & near death in 2022.
The long list of serious ailments with no specified cause is reminiscent of his ex Kim's fate. Kidneys don't just fail without an underlying disease process or infection but I can't for the life of me find what it was. He weighed over 300 lbs & underwent bariatric surgery in 2017 and was apparently thriving before collapsing in 2022. Maybe he knows what was wrong and just isn't saying, but he's been very open about the rest of his "health scare," sharing intimate photos of himself near death and details about the procedures he underwent. Even the embarrassing part where he was superfat. It seems unlikely he'd hide the REASON for all of this health drama. It couldn't have been drugs or alcohol or he wouldn't have received the liver transplant.
Inaccurate Autopsies Disturbingly Common
85% of death certificates had 1 error. Multiple errors were more common. 🤬
I was under the impression that death certificates & autopsy reports were scientifically accurate legal documents that rarely contained errors. Wrong. Turns out errors are more common than not, and most worryingly, pneumonia as a cause of death is an especially problematic issue because it often covers up the real underlying cause. Check out this study by the Journal of Official Statistics:
Pneumonia specifically can cover up poisonings!
How often does it happen? Have a look at the table above.
I couldn't find anything more specific about what type of poisonings these were (chemical, bacterial, drug overdose, etc), but needless to say this deserves a closer look with all the suspicious celebrity deaths in recent years from pneumonia. And it pretty much verifies my opinion that Kim Porter's autopsy is technically correct but incomplete in that it doesn't tell us how she acquired the pneumonia or why it spread to such a horrific degree.
More Loose Ends
Details of Rajneesh poisonings were hidden from the public.
This was not the article I expected to write. Y'all know I hate a medical conspiracy theory, but the deeper I dug into this case, the deeper the rabbit hole of unanswered questions, untimely deaths, redacted names, "poisoned" celebrities & shrugging medical professionals became. I'm not claiming Diddy himself is going around poisoning drinks like the KGB, but intentional bacterial poisoning is not unprecedented. Recall in the '80s when Ma Anand Sheela and her henchmen poisoned an entire town with homegrown Salmonella bacteria in an attempt to sway an election? And how our government covered it up for 12 years to prevent "copycat" incidents? Here's an execerpt from an excellent article on the episode from PaleoFuture.com:
"Sheela, along with an on-site doctor, were the ones who took the blame for poisoning the town. They had stolen the salmonella cultures from a Seattle lab. By the time it had been revealed that members of the Rajneeshees had been responsible for the poisoning, Sheela had already fled to West Germany. She was extradited to the US and sentenced to 20 years. She served just 2.5 years. Sheela currently lives in Switzerland and owns two nursing homes."
However the Wikipedia article informs us that the plot was far more insidious:
"The investigation also revealed experimentation at Rajneeshpuram with poisons, chemicals and bacteria which had been carried out during 1984 and 1985.[14] Skeels described the scene at the Rajneesh laboratory as "a bacteriological freezer-dryer for large-scale production" of microbes.[20] Investigators found a copy of The Anarchist Cookbook, and literature on the manufacture and usage of explosives and military bio-warfare.[20] Investigators believed that the commune had previously carried out similar attacks in Salem, Portland and other cities in Oregon.[14] According to court testimony, the plotters boasted that they had attacked a nursing home and a salad bar at the Mid-Columbia Medical Center, but no such attempts were ever proven in court.[14] As a result of the bioterrorism investigation, law enforcement officials discovered that there had been an aborted plot by Rajneeshees to murder Charles Turner, a former United States Attorney for Oregon.[27] An invoice dated September 25, 1984, from the American Type Culture Collection of microbes was discovered, showing an order received by the Rajneeshpuram laboratory for Salmonella typhi, the bacterium that causes the life-threatening illness typhoid fever.[14][28]"
This was the biggest domestic bioterror attack until the Anthrax Attacks in 2001. Speaking of those, we still aren't 100% certain who committed them as the only suspect committed suicide while under extreme pressure from the FBI, who had already pressured the wrong guy for a year: Steven Hatfill. Both the Oregon Salmonella Attacks and 2001 Anthrax Attacks used deadly bacteria and prove that you need not be incredibly wealthy or powerful to kill/sicken people using this method. Thing is, Diddy is a billionaire with alleged connections to government agencies--it's likely why his house was bugged Epstein-style and he, as a Black man in America, was able to get away with such hideous crimes in broad daylight for so long.
The real question: Could that wealth and those government connections also buy the complicity and silence of coroners, medical examiners and doctors who would need to be in on the conspiracy to keep his crimes covered up?
Normally I'd say 'fuck no', that such an allegation was ridiculous on its face. And it still is, except for the fact that Diddy was somehow able to keep all his sex abuse victims quiet as well as everyone they may have told or who witnessed his crimes--even in anonymous Internetland--for 30+ years. That includes angry fathers & partners of rape victims, concerned psychotherapists, bloggers, citizen journalists--everyone. Even at the fevered height of #MeToo. Keep in mind that conspiracy skeptics use this kind of thing as an argument against big coverups--"three people can keep a secret if two of them are dead" is how the saying goes. But the Diddy case disproves the hell out of that claim. The few who tried to tell us how he was livin' in a roundabout way with fictional books (Erica Kennedy, author of "Bling," a now-rare book selling for $300+), and Terrance Dean, author of "Mogul," dropped dead of mysterious or undisclosed causes. Yes, both of them. Like Kim Porter, these were young healthy Black people in the prime of their lives.
Since when are the causes of death of public figures not announced or findable via public record inquiry? This is highly irregular at best. Aspects of Bob Saget's death scene were sealed at his family's request, but we still know his cause/manner of death. Take it from someone who spends way too much time researching people & events online: something stinks here and it ain't just Diddy's rap skills.
Let's say Diddy's henchmen were poisoning people using a covert bacterial weapons program: would our government tell us? Or would they keep it under wraps like they did with the Rajneeshpuram incident for fear of inspiring a "copycat" attack? (i.e. having to pay up in the cases of already-murdered/sickened victims and admit foreknowledge about such a wicked act). My money's on the latter option. Past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior, and to admit that our nation's top medical & elected officials were involved in this violent corruption would undermine public trust too much. No, they couldn't allow the peon masses to find out. We'll just nail him for sex offenses (not including the ones with minors) & call it a day they say, hoping he offs himself sooner than later.
Much has been made about the pulled "tell-all" biography allegedly written by Porter about her life with Sean Combs, which I listened to in audio format recently. While entertaining, I suspect it was not penned by Kim Porter, at least not in its entirety. The ending of the book is too bold with its claims about Diddy killing people with pneumonia specifically and sounds fake, though the rest of it could in theory be real. I guess. I'm less interested in that book than the contents of the verifiably real autopsy report and the obscured causes of death for Erica Kennedy and Terrance Dean. In my opinion, these items are deserving of major media inquiry, yet they're being glossed over in favor of coverage of less significant details.
I've strayed from the original topic a bit, but follow me here. Like the many unexplained details in Kim Porter's autopsy, the lingering suspicions in other Diddy-adjacent deaths could be put to rest by simply releasing their official cause of death and any accompanying medical/coroner documents. The public has a right to know these things about public figures, especially when our health/safety could also be at risk from shady doctors, deadly bacteria or other threats. We're enabling a dangerous precedent to be set by allowing cause/manner of death to be obscured or potentially misattributed like in Miss Porter's case.
These are real human beings who met an untimely demise & they deserve for the full truth to be told, even if it turns out they died of suicide, which is NOT worthy of shame or secrecy. Mental health in America is at a crisis point post-COVID, especially for Black people who may be more reluctant to seek help or unable to afford or access it. Covering up the cause of death in in the cases of Erica Kennedy, Terrance Dean & others is an injustice to their legacy. In doing so, you leave the final chapter in their lives open to wild speculation & uncertainty at best and potentially let a killer go free at worst. That's the ultimate form of disrespect.
Therefore, I'm calling on the coroners/medical examiners in Kim Porter's case to explain the likely origin & significance of those 4 bacteria present in her blood at the time of death, and for those who know the cause & manner of death of authors Erica Kennedy and Terrance Dean to share them with the public along with any supporting documents. Knowledge is power, and the more transparency we have in the cases of sudden, unexpected deaths of beloved public figures, the better. No matter the cause, more information cannot possibly be a bad thing. There is no such thing as a "shameful" cause of death, whether by suicide, drug overdose, accidental self-injury or foul play. Ignorance & rumors thrive in the dark.
I remember when this 🧊 ice cold 🧊 Christmas banger dropped in 2013*--everyone thought a Pharcyde reunion was on the horizon. While the 2 members on this song, Tre Hardson aka "Slimkid3" and Fatlip, did reunite for "The Over 30, Dirty Old Men Tour," this single was the only new work to come from this brief reunion. Appearing alongside them is fellow Delicious Vinyl labelmate St. Imey of '90s rap group The Wascals and all 3 are in top form, spitting frosty & relatable bars we've likely all felt near the end of a relationship. I like to spin it around the Holidays, especially if I'm feeling bummed amidst the flood of beaming nuclear family photos shared by 'happily-married' hetero couples while I remain single as a Pringle. 🥫
Seriously, this song has it all: criticism of a partner for gaining weight & being a "one-trick pony" in bed, for 'whining and bitching' too much, fears of infidelity, feeling unappreciated while out working to bring home that bacon... It does an awesome job of capturing that "the love is gone" feeling, and it does so over a stripped-down-yet-festive jinglebell/piano-heavy beat courtesy of producer J-Swift. It could only be better if it was available on streaming services other than just Youtube. (If a Delicious Vinyl bigwig happens to see this, please make that happen. While you're at it, add The Pharcyde's Plain Rap album & Testing the Waters EP to Spotify). 🙏🏻
L to R: Tre Hardson (Slimkid3), St. Imey & Fatlip
When it comes to practical uses, this track would be great for dropping heavy hints that it's over with your significant other this holiday season. Just let them "accidentally" overhear you blasting it at full volume & rapping every lyric verbatim into a broomstick as you angrily sweep the kitchen or smtg. If you prefer passive-aggressive games to just being real, that is. (Hey, it's less shitty than 'ghosting'.) 👻💨
*IDK why I thought this came out in 2013 when it actually dropped in 2007. But it truly feels like 2013 is the correct year! Mandela Effect in action?
...learning to identify the traits and outward signs of Cluster B Personality Disorders & then avoiding those people like my life depends on it. Because it kinda does. My mental health/well-being certainly do at least.
No hate toward sufferers of Borderline, Histrionic, Narcissistic or Antisocial Personality Disorders as I'm sure those aren't easy conditions to live with, but neither is it my responsibility to try and "fix" or rescue these folks from themselves (or even enable them by providing a soft place to fall). The erratic & extreme behavior that characterizes these disorders is not healthy for me & there's no place for that kind of dark energy in my life. In fact I do not believe these people have any business being in intimate committed relationships or reproducing until they have their conditions well & truly under control. If that's never then so be it. Sorry absolutely not one bit sorry.
I grew up in a "walking on eggshells" household with two unpredictable, mercurial parents with bipolar & narcissistic traits--a dad who never wanted kids and a mom who wanted them for the wrong reasons. I had no choice in that matter because I was a child. But I do have a choice not to associate with people who make me feel shell shocked & "less than" as an adult. I'm poor & struggle with actual health problems that greatly impact my life & functioning, so healthy people who have everything they need in life to be happy but CHOOSE misery really piss me off. The ones who have wild unprovoked swings in mood or dream up scenarios & problems in their heads to be mad about, constantly scheming & plotting to sabotage, hurt or turn people against each other when they appear the least bit happy. People who start shit to alleviate boredom or are in constant competition with everybody make me tired, and I'll be damned if I act as a punching bag for someone who would rather project their unresolved Mommy/Daddy issues onto me than do the ugly work of fixing them in therapy.
Take your mind games, manipulation, verbal abuse, dishonesty, passive-aggression, grudge-holding, blame-shifting, infidelity & emotional incontinence elsewhere. Preferably to intensive, ongoing therapy with a qualified mental health professional. I suspect a lot of people who DO end up in therapy as adults are there dealing with the fallout caused by assholes like these who refuse to go themselves. Where's the accountability? Instead of holding abusers legally or socially responsible at the time, the victims are expected to "forgive" & "work through" a lifetime of unnecessary trauma after the fact in therapy. Rebellious kids are "sent off" to abusive wilderness programs & bootcamps while the actual CAUSE of the problems--their adult guardians--get a vacation from parenting & change nothing. Fuck that. The whole paradigm is twisted. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure anyway.
An Exercise For Cluster B's
Typical Cluster B "apology"
If you're a Cluster B'er who's serious about personal growth & self-improvement, a good first step would be owning your toxicity--like writing down the exact things you did wrong & want to make amends for--and taking responsibility for the times you've hurt people who didn't deserve it with absolutely no "but" justifications or explaining how they made YOU feel. If you can't do it in person (or suspect the victim wouldn't be comfortable meeting you in person), send a letter or email*. But have an unbiased 3rd party proofread it first. No matter whether you get a response or WHAT response you get, say 'thank you' and move on. Do not use the communication as a springboard for any further interaction with the person.
*Provided the person does not have a restraining order or other legal order forbidding you from contacting them.
I've yet to see a personality disordered person give a genuine, non self-centered apology & try to make amends in a healthy way with someone from whom they had nothing to gain. If they're coming around at all, it's because they want something (even if it's just a hit of good ol' narcissistic supply). And if they're apologizing Hell has just frozen over because it's truly a once-in-a-lifetime event, if that. This is because they honestly don't believe they ever ARE wrong; they're perfect and you're trash. The world is a black-and-white, good or evil place to these types. No nuance, no shades of grey.
Unfortunately that's not how human beings are in actuality. The "idealize/devalue" cycle that characterizes these disorders is dangerous because you can be knocked right off that pedestal as quickly as you were put on it. These folks view vulnerability as weakness & refuse to put themselves out there in a way that requires admitting that they're less than 100% perfect/godlike. It's much easier to project, blame, gaslight, triangulate, sabotage & play the victim. And then riiiiiight as they've pushed you to the very edge of your sanity & coping limit, they'll magically pull it together, acting like they did in the beginning & pretending to be baffled as to why you would ever think of leaving them.
While I might've put up with this childish dynamic in my 20's, it's a lot less attractive in my 40s & beyond. I'm bailing at the 1st sign of fuckery rather than gaslighting myself into downplaying signs of danger starting yesterday.
Caveats/Final Thoughts
All that said, I do think there's a lot of misdiagnosis & self-diagnosis going on and not everyone who is labeled "Borderline" or the like truly is. Though your illness has to be pretty bad to be labeled as such so definitely take it seriously either way. You aren't irredeemable but if you choose not to acknowledge your issues & put in the ongoing work to learn about & control your behavior, you can do it from over there. Waaaaaaay tf over there. ---->
Horrifyingly, I've known some Cluster B's to co-opt pop psychology lingo & "diagnose" themselves as "empaths," CPTSD victims or more offensively, some version of autistic (but usually with more flowery language like "neuro-spicy") when they're clearly raging narcs or psychopaths. Hence the importance of seeking an accurate diagnosis & correct treatment. While some diagnoses carry more stigma than others, you can't treat what you don't acknowledge and you do a great disservice to people struggling with rejection-sensitive dysphoria, ADHD, autism & other disorders affecting empathy/communication/socialization when you wrongly claim these conditions & wear them like badges of honor. 👊🏻
I have mad respect for people like Sam Vaknin & Lee Hammmock, diagnosed narcissists working to educate the public about the condition while not downplaying who/what they are. (Hammock is also openly attending long-term therapy which I believe all narcs should do). Whether they should be allowed to work one-on-one with actual clients is another matter, but I do appreciate that they own their issues and use their knowledge for good because there's a lot of so-called professionals out there who use their position of authority for evil & don't disclose their true motives... or the fact that they're crazier than a shithouse rat. 🏚🐀
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