Daft Punk: The Milli Vanilli of Electronic Music?

This will probably piss off a lot of Millennial & younger Gen X music fans (of which I am one), but so be it.  Ready?  Okay.

DAFT Punk are blatant rip-off artists who took away more from the songs they ripped off than they added to them.  

I had set out to write an article in which I simply shared the similarities I see between this group & other artists, but what I found was much more damning.  Not only did they steal their whole robot concept/vocoder style thing, they literally ripped off giant chunks of other artists' pre-existing work.  Perhaps that's why they officially ended things in 2021... the advent of websites like WhoSampled.com threatened to out them as the musical grifters they really were.  I now question the originality of everything they did, wondering if they ever truly created a single concept from thin air.

I don't say that lightly.  Some of my best college memories were made to Daft Punk tunes.  I have friends that have been to every concert & own every album on vinyl.  While it's true that there's "nothing new under the sun", these guys took that to a whole new level, taking giant pieces of the instrumental AND occasionally vocal parts of songs by other artists & passing them off as their own, all while being hailed the most innovative thing in electronic music.  One example is using Breakwater's "Release the Beast" (1980) intro in their "Robot Rock" (2005) over and over on repeat without really adding much to it. In fact they seem to have just put that intro on a loop & removed the lyrics.  Or stealing from another Black '80s artist Edwin Birdsong with their tune to "Harder Better Faster Stronger," which again samples so heavily from Birdsong's "Cola Bottle Baby" I'm surprised they didn't get sued for copyright.

Again, all electronic music and much of hip-hop's early production consists of samples, but these guys take it furthe, sometimes failing to credit the original artists OR do much to alter the music to make it their own.  I'd actually go so far as to call them musical curators rather than musicians.  Discovery is a "Frankenstein album" made entirely from repackaged pieces of other songs, while their song "Fresh" steals a chunk of disco artist Viola Wills' actual voice (you guessed it, another Black singer). They are the Kanye West of electronic music. 

Typical Daft Punk fan snobbery

The problem is, they're not held to the same standards.  It would be one thing if music heads didn't jack off to the "elite creativity & uniqueness" of a band who made songs like "Around the World" which just repeats that phrase for the entire 7:09 minutes, but I've seen some major music snobs acting like this duo is the most influential, unique band to ever do it.  This guy, for instance, apparently didn't care that they ripped off so much from other artists.  Cool story considering how it didn't affect him directly in any way.  Bet those OG artists they ripped off would beg to differ.  Their Wikipedia page also contains no references to their thievery...

"Future Party" by Syd Mead (who was allegedly pissed DP got the proportions wrong)

Here are the artists I noticed huge similarities with before looking deeper into the issue.  These are the ones they likely stole large chunks of their style or look from without directly sampling them because they were too popular.  Individuals or bands that came first and did it better:

Single "The Robots" recorded in 1977-78; listed as their "most popular song."

- Kraftwerk.  This one is obvious & accounts for the majority of their "robotic"/futuristic sound.  They even have a song literally named Aerodynamic.  What a coincidence!  Kraftwerk came out with a single called Aero Dynamik, though it appears Daft Punk's version came out first.  Still, the similarities are unmistakable, from the extensive use of vocoder to the synth-heavy sound.  Kraftwerk had a highly-popular single titled "The Robots" which seems to be Daft Punk's literal blueprint for their group, what with the robot suits and all.  It's like they created their robot characters by projecting themselves into a Kraftwerk music video.  (And then stole the exact design for those characters from the existing painting shown above).  

Hmmm... curiouser & curiouser.

- The Art of Noise.  This instrumental band had a 1986 album entitled "Daft," with the album cover featuring a face mask.  Very interesting.  They also had a #1 single in "Moments in Love" while mostly maintaining anonymity, not appearing as themselves in their music videos.  Their genre is classified as electronic/sound collage & is also heavy on synthesizer & electronic beats.  Art of Noise would've been huge when Thomas Bangalter & Guy Manuel de Whatever were coming of age just like Kraftwerk were.  While Art of Noise got their inspiration from a Futurist manifesto by Luigi Russolo, it's just that:  inspiration.  They used the novel to create their "sound collage/futurist orchestra" concept but didn't directly steal from it.  The way they sampled other music was also far more above-board than Daft Punk's whole-cloth thievery.

Innovator Roger Troutman demonstrates "voice box".

- Zapp & Roger.  Roger Troutman, that is.  He came up with the unique 'voice box' sound, singing directly into a rigged up machine to produce a totally fresh sound that had never been heard before.  The beat for "More Bounce" goes extremely hard for a track made in 1979/80, though younger music lovers will know Roger from the chorus of 2Pac & Dr. Dre's "California Love."  He collab'd with many other '90s rappers during his second burst of popularity in the Gangsta Rap era before being killed in a murder-suicide by brother Larry Troutman, but again, the Dafties likely became acquainted with Zapp's music in the early-mid '80s.  Songs like "Computer Love" and "I Can Make You Dance - Pt. 1" were clearly big influences. 




So What?  Everybody Steals

Yah we got rich ripping off other artists... get over it.

Whether you think this is genius or con artistry, there's no denying it's shitty how much they "borrowed" from obscure artists--usually Black--and sometimes didn't even credit them.  Recall when Vanilla Ice got sued by Queen & lost his whole career from his blatant theft of the baseline from ONE SONG?  These guys made a whole-ass career out of doing just that without shouting out the OG artists or otherwise acknowledging what they were doing.  Their music (if we can call it "theirs") is sonically more pleasing than most pop artists out today or in DP's heyday, but that doesn't make what they did OKAY.  Anyone can take giant chunks of other songs & build repetitive dance tracks out of them.  Well, anyone with the technical know-how anyway.  Milli Vanilli might've lipsynched, but at least they used their real likenesses to do it.  These two stole Black music and hid behind robot masks, the concept for which they also stole.

The fact that they claim to have broken up due to "concerns about AI in music" is rich considering the fact that their entire careers, personas & the actual music they made largely curated was ripped off from others who came before them.  Sorry guys, but you don't get to throw the authenticity flag when you yourself are inauthentic AF.  

Daft Punk's breakup video

The Dafties officially broke up and disbanded in 2021 in dramatic fashion with one last song/vid in which one of them explodes.  Considering everything we know now, it all seems a little less genuine & a tad more trite. 

Old Car Smell: What Intoxicating Scent Was I Huffing?

I just randomly remembered some olllllllld random shit and was wondering if any car gurus out there could help me identify what likely poison I was getting high on in the 4th grade.  My mom used to have an Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme... think it was an '88 model.  It was old & broke down when we bought it but we were poor, okay?  Anyway, whenever we'd turn the A/C on, for one brief glorious second, a smell would emanate from the passenger side vent that would make my eyes roll back in my head with pleasure.  I'm talking a powerful burst of craving for more of the smell along with a significant "high".  (I'd call it orgasmic but I was nowhere near an adult, so we'll stick with "high"). 

I never could tell if the smell itself was actually "good" or if I was getting high on some chemical & had come to associate the two, but either way it was absolutely heavenly.  I'd try to "smell" it for longer than a second but it was gone, only to come back the next hot day when the A/C was turned on.  It was like one inhalation's worth, then boom--gone.  Didn't happen with the heater or any other function of the car.

Interior of two '88 Olds Cutlass Supremes w/ offending air vent circled

As far as I can recall, it had a somewhat musty, sweet smell that wasn't too strong but BOY did it make my whole body melt with intoxication.  For a brief second, anyway.  I'm horribly allergic to mold so I don't think it was that.  I refuse to go and huff antifreeze, Freon or any of the other possible culprits due to their deadly effect so I'm at a loss. 

I've never experienced that "first burst A/C high" in any other vehicle but that shitty Olds.  It would break down on us everywhere we went so there was likely a lot wrong with it, plus I thought being an older model there might've been different refrigerants or other chemicals in it that have since been banned/phased out.  That's just a guess though.  

I know cats will drink antifreeze to their deaths because it tastes "sweet," which also makes it a popular poison.  This definitely had a sweet smell but not like anything else I can compare it to.  Oh, and the smell of gasoline gives me an instant migraine so it wasn't that.  It was not a harsh chemical smell--just sweet & literally intoxicating, similar to an MDMA eye-rolling effect.  That's the best description I've got lol.  

So I ask you, car geniuses of the world:  What intoxicating substance was I likely huffing through my mom's air vents in her '88 Olds as a child?

War is Over! Nothing to See Here!

 

...aaaaand this is why you lost the election & we're now under the rule of an overt genocidal maniac as opposed to the previous covert maniac.  Not that she or any of the Dems care about "wins" and "losses", but the rest of us might prefer to not be going through this on top of all our other problems.

When your take on the Middle Eastern situation is to the RIGHT of Marjorie Taylor Jewish-Space-Laser Greene, it MIGHT be time to sit down and reflect.  

👏🏻 👏🏻

As much as I feel she's among the most extreme, ignorant & dangerous members in our government, I have to hand it to MTjslG on this brave stance.  Going against the Trump cult on big issues like this won't only costs you votes, it could cost you your safety or life.  Recall the MAGA cell terrorists who were busted while planning the kidnapping/torture of Michigan governor Gretchen Whitmer.  Oh, and the rabid crowd chanting & calling for Mike Pence's head at the January 6th "rally".  And of course the 4 politicians shot and 1 killed in MN recently by a domestic terrorist who had a list of 70 targets he planned to hit, including abortion clinics.  All Trump has to do is tweet two words ("Liberate Michigan!" or "Be Strong!") and his Gravy Seal tard team comes out with guns blazing to act as his unpaid goons, so MTG has more cojones than Kamala in that regard.

But more likely is she just doesnt't own stock in Raytheon, Boeing, Halliburton or one of the other 20+ defense contractor companies.  I'd bet my left tit that Kamala does.





What Are We Fighting For?

"Hotspots in every state:"  U.S. tapwater unfit to drink

Until we have more than 2 parties and none of them are sponsored by corporate billionaires, we do not have a democracy or Western nation.  By "Western" I mean comparable to that of France, Switzerland, Italy, Denmark, Norway or the other Scandanavian countries.  These countries invest their tax dollars back into infrastructure & public institutions instead of foreign wars or corporate welfare handouts.  Countries with drinkable water, affordable education/housing, universal healthcare, humane working conditions & livable wages.  Those aren't luxuries, they're the bare minimum to call yourself a developed "Western" nation.  If there was such a thing as a "2nd World country," the U.S. would be it.  

No, friends.  We don't have justice, equality or democracy--we have paid gangsters in suits who kill Americans with red tape while convincing us the "other side" is responsible for the state of our shitty lives.  And if you believe that at this stage of the game, fuck you.  Red or blue, fuck you if you still hold the delusional belief in lesser evilism after living through the last 3 decades of sheer hell.  And that's nothing compared to the people living under Taliban rule, drug cartel violence or other nightmares WE'VE created or fostered with our policies at home and abroad.  History won't remember you "just following orders" or "voting is harm reduction" types kindly.






America:  A Pyramid Scheme Built on Sand

All about the Benjamins

45,000 uninsured Americans die annually due to lack of health insurance, and that's not counting the victims of the "Deny, Defend, Depose" method of denying insured patients coverage they've already paid for.  And the number of deaths due to being uninsured is up 2/3rds from 2002.  The fact that these companies can steal your money & give back nothing until you literally DIE ought to have us in the street.   

Then you have the other issue of 3rd parties making or heavily influencing the treatment decisions of doctors & their patients.  Whether it's private insurers, the DEA who create flaming hoops for patients to jump through & threaten doctors with license loss for Rx'ing certain drugs, or Nanny State lawmakers who stand between women and our own reproductive organs, this is beyond dangerous & counterintuitive.  Only two people--a doctor & patient--should ever decide what treatment is best.  I'd be pissed if I spent so much energy, effort & $$$ going to med school only to have these outside entitites overriding my expertise as a doctor, essentially tying my hands to do my own job.  What's the point of even practicing medicine in this climate?

45,000 "excess" deaths a year is a travesty & a genocide.  (The fact that I had to go to Al-Jazeera to find that statistic is not reassuring).  This should be front-page news everywhere until it's corrected!  It's an ongoing assault on American citizens, but because it doesn't involve things that go pew-pew or leave sparkly tracers in the night sky, we ignore it. 

If Americans had the choice to abstain from paying into SSI or buying worhtless private insurance every fucking month, we'd actually be able to save or invest/grow that money.  Then when we get old & retire or need a medical procedure, we could fucking afford it on our own.  But if we had that kind of power over our personal lives, we might gain power over other things, and that just won't do.  Now they're coming for YOUR SSI & those retirement plans, 401k's... all of it.  They won't stop until this nation is a smoldering pit where everyone with a net worth less than $1 million is either incarcerated, homeless or dead of gun violence/preventable disease.  Voting sure as shit won't stop this train now.





Military Manipulation

U.S. military murks 2 journalists: From "Collateral Murder" leak by Chelsea Manning

Private insurance companies aren't the only ones preventing us from having nice things or living long lives.  Our military actively fights against universal healthcare or affordable education so they can dangle those very things over the heads of the poor & minority high school students they target to die in their wars.  And when these battle-weary soldiers return stateside after developing PTSD, TBI, Gulf War Syndrome, Agent Orange poisoning or whatever life-wrecking shit they picked up in the war zone, they're shooed away to go die under a bridge with the fentanyl zombies.  "Check out Wounded Warrior Project, maybe they can help".  The very existence of such an organization when our military budget is the highest on Earth Is offensive to anyone with a brain or heart.  Now with their health & sanity destroyed at the ripe age of 20 or 21, they've got a whole life of suffering ahead of them & nowhere to turn but the bottle or the needle.  It's not hard to see why so many of our vets choose suicide over that reality.  

The fact that Saddam had no WMDs and we wasted 20 years in Afghanistan only for the Taliban to take back over like we were never there... the fact that we lost so badly in Vietnam & left a legacy of suffering with our defoliant campaign, which sickened American families as well as the North Vietnamese...  None of it matters to the rich fucks in suits sending our poor people to kill & die.  The defense contractors suing the Pentagon for pulling out "early" from Afghanistan because they violated their "contract" and caused them to lose money.  THAT'S what all this bombing and destruction is about.  Not Judaism/Christianity/Islam, not land or even oil.  Saudis and some residents of Dubai already own those mineral rights and are the richest people on Earth (recall the Instagram Big Cat scandal & the Dubai Port-a-Parties).  It's about making a few powerful, filthy rich bastards in these defense contracting companies even richer.  And politicians like Kamala, whether right, left or center, are either profiting directly or complicit in this for-profit genocide.





Money As Freedom

Who knows this better than a billionaire?

Everybody knows our legal system is based on money:  Can't afford bail or decent lawyers to represent you at trial?  Then you'll be forced to either take a plea deal, possibly for a crime you didn't commit, or sit in prison for years waiting on a(n unfair) trial. 

But it goes beyond that:  When everything costs so much, there is no "freedom".  Not even freedom of movement or association because it costs money to move, travel or not live in a fucking ghetto.  Money is more than freedom; it determines who lives & who dies in America.  Our hospitals have color-coded blankets for elites, ffs.  That's how you know capitalism has gone too far--when basic human necessities are only available to those with the universal hall pass of money.  Profiting from merchant endeavors, inventions, innovations, services....  that's as far as it should go.  Turning basic human needs into for-profit ventures is vampirism on steroids.  It's a soft kill form of Nazi-ism, and based on the public's lackluster response to things like this latest escalation in the Middle East, nobody gives a goddamn. They're too worried about the NBA playoffs or who's gonna win The Bachelor Season 29.  Bread & circuses...

Our delusions are more important than our collective rights, quality of life or anything else--the delusion that we're #1 in things that are actually good; that we have a representative democracy where voting matters; that we have any say in the direction of world events at all.  You guys enjoy your collective psychosis.  I'm checking out & going deep into Drugland, Musicland, Documentaryland & Pornland.  I WILL have a good summer no matter who our country bombs or how many riots & other domestic tragedies occur.  If that sounds selfish, maybe it is.  But it's the same thing y'all are doing by turning everything into a fucking punchline or pun while doing nothing to solve the problem.  And no matter how hard I dissociate into Autistic Funland, I'll never be able to achieve the level of delusional pollyanna-ism y'all have attained, and seemingly stone sober too.  Must be nice.  I often wonder if our country's idiocy is caused by sheer exhaustion due to overworking, some stage of diabetes mellitus which clearly affects brain function or some unknown 3rd thing.  Ahh well, at least we have our nothing.  

Update:  Cheeto Benito has announced a ceasefire between Israel & Iran.  Whew, what a relief!  Sure would've sucked if Americans who were just clocking in for their 3rd shift at their 2nd side hustle had to worry about terrorist attacks because of our military's fuckery.  Good thing we didn't murder any of their beloved military leaders or anything.  Now we can rest easy. 

Not sleep, lazy ass!  I said "rest".  Okay, that's enough resting, now get back to work.   👏🏻

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Last Days of the USA: Millennial Edition

Y'all ever feel like the world, if not the U.S., is in its last days?   Like having kids after about the mid-80s was not optimal, having them in the 2000s was ill-advised and having a baby in any year after 2010 was flat-out a bad idea?  Like trying to get a good job and work your hardest is pointless? 

It's not your imagination.  For Millennials who graduated high school in the early 2000s & beyond, we've never experienced a normal or thriving economy & have survived one national crisis after another.  The dotcom bubble burst, 9/11, Hurricane Katrina, the 2008 Housing Crisis, the Great Recession of 2007-2009 & the COVID recession are among these.  Cost of living has far outpaced minimum wage and wages in general, leading to an increase in homelessness, suicide, mental illness & drug addiction.  

The U.S. is 248 years young--that's when the Declaration of Independence was signed. In all that time, we've had our fair share of natural disasters, infectious disease epidemics, wars, financial crises, terrorist attacks & more.  We're not unique in that regard, though our gun laws definitely play a role in things like mass shootings.  What IS abnormal is that the top 3 deadliest crises in our nation's history have happened during the lives of Millennials, i.e those born between 1981-1996.  There's actually a list of the deadliest disasters in U.S. history on Wikipedia, and sure enough, the top 3 have happened in my lifetime.  Also, they keep getting deadlier as we get closer to the present day--a bad sign to be sure.


Here they are in descending order:




#3.  The HIV/AIDS Epidemic

Haiti's donation rules were lax like ours--no heat sanitization or other safety measures.

Coming in at #3 on the deadliest disasters list is HIV/AIDS, which made its presence known in 1981 in a group of promiscuous American gay men.  After naming it "GRID" (Gay-Related Immune Deficiency), scientists very quickly had to amend that discriminatory & wrong moniker, as it was also found in female prostitutes, babies, IV drug users, blood donation recipients & more.  And Haitian immigrants were heavily affected for some reason.  The "4H club," it was called, which stood for Heroin users, Homosexuals, Haitians & Hemophiliacs. 

That last one never had to happen; American blood donation laws have always been among the most lax on Earth, running neck and neck with places like Haiti, from whom we actually accepted a shitton of donations in the 1970s leading up to the epidemic.  It took the Red Cross & other organizations an agonizing 4 years (1981 to 1985) to exclude high-risk candidates & start testing for the presence of Hepatitis B--a near certain indicator of HIV infection in the days before an HIV antibody test existed.  Then, once we deemed our tainted blood donations unfit for use here, we shipped them overseas so hemophiliac kids in other countries could "enjoy" a slow painful death.  By "we" I mean Bayer, and yes, they knew the blood was tainted when they shipped it overseas.   Not a single CEO or company leader sat in prison for a day over this mass murder tragedy.

There were other public health factors that enabled AIDS to become the nightmare it did, such as refusal to shut down the gay bathhouses after the disease was well-known, & the spread of other STDs like herpes (which increases transmission of HIV) in the straight community in the late '70s/early '80s, but perhaps the most frustrating and harmful was our president's refusal to even utter the word "AIDS" in public until 1987.   By then, 15,100 Americans had died of AIDS & many more were infected and waiting for the time bomb to go off.  And the Band Played On by Randy Shilts, himself a victim of the virus, is perhaps the best record of the early days of the epidemic.

I attribute my germophobia and fear of sickness in part to being born in the '80s & having my earliest memories flooded with images of emaciated people wasting away with black lesions on their faces.  The public panic surrounding AIDS was unreal, especially when compared to our overly nonchalant attitude towards COVID, a far more infectious disease with a much higher death toll.  Maybe that can be chalked up to our hatred of drug addicts & homosexuals--I really don't know.  Regardless, our attitudes toward infectious disease sure have changed as a society since then.  Our government still has an "ignore it and it'll go away" mentality, which is why we remain Ground Zero for so many deadly plagues. 

As for why Haitians were so heavily affected, the country is home to many people who had worked in the Congo during the 1960s, bringing the virus from its native African place of origin to the island.  And from there it spread to the USA, which had both a high number of gay sex tourists visiting Haiti and a large amount of Haitian blood donations.  The disease's long incubation period meant that those who contracted it in the '70s wouldn't show symptoms until the early to mid 80s.  Judging by the prevalence of unsafe sex ("barebacking") and drug laws that ban needle exchange & other safety measures in the U.S. today, we didn't learn a damn thing.

Our plasma donation rules are still dangerously lax which means another blood-borne epidemic is likely around the corner.  More about that here.




#2.  The Opioid Epidemic

Fentanyl addicts sway in the breeze in Kensington, PA

Clocking in at Numero Dos is another kind of epidemic--the opioid addiction and overdose crisis.  Dates listed are 1999-present, which is an awfully long time to be fighting the same epidemic.  You'd think in all those years our leaders would've realized two things:  that pharmaceutical companies and some doctors are little more than legal dope dealers who should be dealt with accordingly, and secondly, that banning drugs only makes them more deadly by ensuring adulteration of the supply by black market forces.  We still haven't learned that 2nd lesson, with a rash of fentanyl-specific laws popping up in multiples states in the last 2-3 years.  Predictably, we now have nitazenes & tranq dope (xylazine) as replacements.  These drugs are worse than fentanyl because nitazenes are more potent than fentanyl and there's no field test for them, and xylazine doesn't respond to naloxone in the event of an overdose because it's a horse tranquilizer, not an opioid.

Our leaders' short-sighted focus on the supply while totally ignoring the DEMAND part of the equation is shameful in light of how hard they simp for capitalism.  The law of supply & demand is a core tenet of capitalism, which may as well be our national religion.  Almost no $$$ or focus is spent answering the question WHY so many Americans in their creative, productive & reproductive prime would willingly choose to become zombies & risk their very lives for a brief escape.  In light of that, I'd say hopelessness is actually our #2 biggest killer.

#1.  The COVID Pandemic

American healthcare workers wearing trash bags due to PPE shortage

If you're one of those people who thinks we shouldn't have cancelled school or that states went "overboard" with mask laws, listen up.  No other crisis in our nation's history has cost over ONE MILLION American lives--more than any nation on Earth.  The U.S. was #1 in both COVID cases & deaths for the entirety of the pandemic, which is still ongoing despite Wikipedia saying it ended in 2023.  Think about that for a sec:  we lost more people than highly populated/crowded areas like Mexico City, Brazil or India.  More than countries with poor sanitation & no indoor plumbing like Chad or Madagscar.  More than wartorn nations like Palestine or the Ukraine.  This was due in part to Trump dismantling Obama's pandemic response team only months before COVID came to be, but there's a bigger problem:  our country's abhorrent working conditions--lack of paid sick leave, vacation time, parental leave and the like.  All those things predicted our nation's idiotic and deadly attitude toward the virus, which was essentially, "Get back to work". 

When our grocery store shelves lay bare throughout the pandemic, we failed to realize that the reason was that nearly all of our goods come from foreign countries like China, India and Taiwan, and all those other countries were LOCKED DOWN.  The barges that move items like food and medication sat at port because there was no one to operate them.  As it should be when a disease as infectious and deadly as COVID is about.  Governments all over the world used taxpayer dollars to pay citizens to stay tf home during the outbreak; as a result they lost far fewer citizens than the U.S.  

Refrigerated trucks hold the bodies of COVID-19 victims

Another factor that caused COVID to be our #1 deadliest disaster is our nation's science illiteracy & distrust of medical experts--a problem that's more pervasive among conservatives & has only worsened since the advent of the internet.  The number of online outlets & other "news" sources claiming that the virus either wasn't real, wasn't as deadly as claimed or wasn't as dangerous as the COVID vaccine was disgusting.  Americans adopted an "it isn't real if I don't want it to be" mindset, as if they could simply will the virus to be less deadly by claiming it wasn't real.  A lot of people died as a result, including Republican presidential hopeful Herman Cain & this trio of Republican radio hosts who died within a month of each other.  Indeed, Republicans in general died at much higher rates of the virus in part due to President Trump's dismissal of COVID as a deadly disease.  Oklahoma Republican governor Kevin Stitt was the first state leader in the U.S. to contract the virus, though he survived (much to the chagrin of many Oklahomans). 

Be afraid.  Be very afraid.

As we sit on the brink of an even deadlier Avian flu pandemic, it seems we haven't learned anything from this unnecessary loss of American lives if our working conditions & attitudes toward science are to be believed.  If scientists' predictions are correct, it won't be too long until this plague comes to pass.  This deadly influenza variant kills young healthy people (ages 20-55) disproportionately, leaving only the very young and very old behind.  The effect of COVID on immune function could make the death toll from Avian flu even worse. 

The placement of anti-science kooks at the highest levels of our nation's public health institutions predicts a bad, BAD outcome once the bird flu becomes easily transmissible from person-to-person.  Loss of Medicaid coverage for millions of Americans due to Trump's "Big Beautiful Bill" ensures that these people won't be able to afford medical care should they get sick, thereby sealing their fates.  Our loss of healthcare workers due to "burnout" during COVID makes the whole situation that much worse.  

Stay tuned because we could have a new #1 on this list by about next winter.  

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On Lesbian Representation & Bi Lies

So this was disappointing but not shocking.  My 70-something mother informed me that "lesbian" Jojo Siwa is dating a man.  Okay whatever, I thought.  Is she a singer?  Dancer?  Actress?  I've heard the name & seen the hilarious memes but never gave a shit about her in any significant way.  

One of many ridiculous Siwa memes.

But Fletcher?  Cari Fletcher, who built her entire public image & career off loving women while embracing her "masculine energy" & still being hot as fuck?  SHE is in love with a man?  Yes, and even worse, she's denounced her "old self" and credits this man with essentially turning her into a whole different person.  It reeks of corrective rape & bad marketing gimmicks.  Guess it should've been a red flag when she was asked how she identifies (lesbian, bi, straight, etc) and she said "queer", which can literally mean "straight" as an arrow if they want it to.  
  
And they wonder why so many gaybashers believe being gay is a phase.  For many women, it is.  They "experiment" with women or LARP as lesbians in college or their early 20s only to marry and have kids with a man when their biological clock starts ticking like a timebomb or the social pressure becomes too great.  "But I'm still attracted to women! Stop being biphobic," they bleat while being shamelessly lesbophobic.  FYI, nobody cares about your "attractions."  Relationships, marriage, shared mortgages, growing old together... that's where the rubber meets the road.  The person or people you choose to parent your kids or care for your beloved pets.  Who you put in your will.  THAT'S what matters, not that time you kissed a girl at a bar in 2009 while being cheered on by pervy men like a bad Katy Perry song. 

Actions, not attractions. 

Behavior  > words.  ⚤🚫🗣

And what does the celebrity-worshiping idiot mob do?  Rush to the defense of someone who wouldn't piss on them if they were on fire.  "I'm so proud of you!  It's nobody's business who you love" they regurgitate as if repeating a cult mantra or reading from a manual.  Actually, when you make your orientation & love life your entire persona/image, it IS our business.  You're a public figure so it is anyway, but that goes doubly for those who mislabel themselves to fill a niche & get rich off a marginalized community they don't even belong to.  I think the newspeak-y term is "queerbaiting", i.e. when a celebrity deliberately projects a false image to gain gay fans despite NOT being fucking gay.

For the record, I couldn't give a shit if every celebrity on Earth fell into the ocean tomorrow so I really don't care who they date or fuck.  Despite finding her incredibly sexy, I've never listened to a single line of a Fletcher song & certainly won't start now.  But it's not about their "personal lives," it's about the totaI disrespect shown to the very people who made them while they wore our real lives like a cloak to hide the fact that they're just another boring breeder//basic bitch whose only motivation is $$$.  To bougie poseurs like this, homosexuality is just a marketing ploy to sell records/concert tickets while appearing edgy & filling a gap in the market. 

Meanwhile actual lesbians are over here fighting to not have our identities hijacked by the likes of you and the trans cult.  Women in general are written smooth out of the English language with terms like "vagina haver' and "birthing person." Lesbians suffer the double insult of already having a miniscule dating pool (full of deceitful bisexuals) who call you a bigot if you exclude them as potential partners... now that tainted dating pool is also full of men in skirts insisting we date them.  I'm just sitting here wondering why bi women they don't date each other instead of fetishizing mixed orientation relationships.  If "everyone's a little bi," you should have no problem finding a mate, right?  Same applies to transwomen:  If you're really "true & honest women," why the obsession with dating us & not each other?   

It would appear that both groups want someone who's 1.) got lady parts and,  2.) has a stable identity & a 0% chance of leaving them high and dry for peen.  In other words, they want more than they can give us in return.  Hypocritical but not shocking if you've been paying attention.  

The fantasy...

I'm not some hard-ass who only dates Gold Star lesbians--I get that some people are forced or pressured into straight relationships or truly didn't realize they could have a fulfilling gay relationship until later in life.  But I don't appreciate being played for a fool either.  You know who you have the potential to be attracted to because it's what you fantasize about in your most private moments.  It's in the porn you watch, the romance novels you read, your celebrity and real-life crushes, the future relationships you imagine yourself in.  Actual lesbians want nothing more to do with men sexually than a straight man does, yet we're constantly gaslighted about this.  Let me simplify it for you confused souls:  lesbians do not now, nor will we ever be attracted to "penis-havers" or XY individuals.   Bi people of both sexes do have the potential to be attracted to these artists formerly known as "men".  Important distinction.

If you've ever been sexually attracted to the male body or romantically into men, maybe just SAY THAT upfront instead of manipulating people into believing they actually have you as a representative or devoted lesbian partner ("representation is important!" the woke mob screams.  Yeah, for everyone but lesbians).  We can't even have women-only events or dating apps, and our sports, prisons & other spaces have been utterly overrun by men in dresses who would love nothing more than to shut us up permanently by delivering a fatal blow in the boxing ring or cornering us in a 6'8 prison cell while locked up on sex assault charges. 

We sat back and watched not one but TWO XY males batter & ruin the careers of female athletes at the Olympics while the world painted them as the victims of mean TERFs & transphobes.  I think we know gaslighting & misogyny when we see it, so don't you dare tell me how to feel about these sideshow celebs using MY identity to enrich themselves.  When called out, they spit in our faces again with comments like "I don't owe you an explanation" or the equivalent of "j/k, THIS is who I really am".  

...the reality.  

Every time y'all pull this shit, you're contributing to the harmful belief that women don't know what we want, are wishy-washy or that "everyone's a little bi".  That if we meet the "right" man we'll change our ways, or if he pressures us long enough we'll eventually give in.  See how rapey those sentiments are?  That may be your truth, but it's not mine. 

Men and women are equal but not the same; ditto bisexuals & lesbian women.  Gay people miss out on a whole developmental stage... you know, that heady time in your youth where you have your first kiss, first love, prom date, 1st sexual encounter, etc.  High school is often hell for us, plus we'll never have the option of having a "traditional" wedding to a high-earning male spouse or a crapping out a baby that's the biological product of us AND our female partner.  Homophobia aside, it's fucking depressing being a minority.  And then to have the idiot masses painting YOU as the bad guy when you express justified anger that someone who wore your orientation as a costume for profit is not even gay?  Salt in the wound. 

And this needs to be said:  THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH EXCLUSIVELY DATING WOMEN WHO ARE EXCLUSIVELY ATTRACTED TO WOMEN.  Believing there is makes you a homophobe & a creep.




It's the Dishonesty for Me

^^ That part ^^

In a world where sites like JDate & Blackpeoplemeet.com are openly advertised on television, you'd expect that same respect to be extended to lesbians--another minority group.  Even "farmers" (read: rednecks & racist whites) get their own dating apps.  No such luck.  The minute we try to create female-only events, lesbian only dating apps or the like, we're hit with lawsuits & allegations of "biphobia" or "transphobia".  Name one other minority or oppressed group that is legally forbidden from congregating in public or associating with people of our choice.  Aside from convicted pedophiles, I can't think of any.  (And even THAT line is getting blurrier).  

Then here comes the faux-lesbo train carrying people like Siwa & Fletcher who were, if not lesbian icons or household names, at least an anchor in choppy seas for young lesbians.  Someone popular & beloved who represented them.  They pander to your specific demographic and sell you an image for financial gain only to later drop the bomb that, woops, all that other stuff wasn't me.  The albums, the song titles, the image--all just a girl finding her way in the world, teehee.  (Her way to dick).   

This is symptomatic of a bigger problem lesbians often face: the lies of bi women who hide fundamental facts about themselves in the name of obtaining our love, devotion or trust.  Misleading a sexual partner about something this serious is tantamount to rape.  It's no better than hiding an STD or "stealthing" and removing the condom mid-act.  If you know that the truth, ANY truth, would cause a person to NOT have sex with you and you hide it so you can fuck them anyway, that's calculating & it's rape.  Consent implies INFORMED consent, which cannot be given if you're lying by omission or straight up deceiving someone. 

Excluding anyone from your dating pool for any reason is not a phobia, it's a right we all have.  Bigotry & discrimination require the refusal or removal of basic human rights:  the right to equal housing, healthcare, marriage, employment or safety in public places.  We're all entitled to those things--trans, bi, gay, whatever.  You're not entitled to anyone's attraction, affection or sex.  Nor are you entitled to have the world address you as you'd like to be perceived or to compel the speech of others.  A man doesn't have the right to be referred to as a woman or to piss (read: mark his territory & likely masturbate) in a woman's bathroom, & bi women are not entitled to relationships or sex with lesbians.  No means no, it doesn't mean haggle with me or insult me until I change my mind (I won't, I'll only hate you more).




What Celebrities "Owe" the Public

Celebrity culture is a cesspit.

That's when it comes to intimate relationships.  Celebrities we've never met owe us nothing though, right?  Oh, just their entire career & fortune is all.  If not for fans, they'd just be another anonymous nobody flipping burgers.  They get filthy fucking rich off our support and are treated like royalty by the adoring masses.  If we gave them that money/praise under false pretenses, they should expect to be dragged from here to Hell for it & to LOSE our support when the truth is revealed.  It's no less slimy than a politician who tells you one thing to gain your vote/donations and then flips the script the minute they're in power. 

For those who are still confused:  Lesbianism is not a choice, a trendy costume, a porn category or a phase.  It's not a gimmick to sell concert tickets or "set yourself apart from the crowd".  And it is not fluid or changing.  That's bisexuality you're thinking of (yes, we homos know about the bi-cycle).  Monosexuality is thing: people can be strictly straight or gay.  Claiming otherwise is a result of taking your own worldview & applying it to others it simply doesn't fit. 

And it is NOT wrong for monosexuals to want a partner with the same orientation. If biphobia is real, it's a result of the deceitful actions of bi people in relationships & their presumptuous assertion that us gays/straights are actually just bisexual like them.  You don't see gays generalizing like this.  The only people who are 'biphobic' are bisexuals like Fletcher & Siwa who dance around their own sexuality in the name of public acceptance, all while avoiding the term 'bisexual' like the plague.  Call a spade a fucking shovel.  And if something as essential & fundamental as your own sexual orientation truly eludes you past age 12, maybe get evaluated for a Cluster B personality disorder.  "Shifting identity" is a core symptom of at least a couple & I'm getting tired of pretending it's not.  

In that same vein, I am not 'closed minded' for excluding men from my dating pool because attraction/revulsion are not a choice--they're innate & immutable.  Stop pushing bisexuality as a form of open-minded spiritual evolution.  Saying shit like "I fall in love with the soul, not the body" is no different than whites who "don't see color".  In case you haven't noticed, women are still a majorly oppressed group all over the fucking world.  Men & women are not interchangeable or identical.  If it hurts me more to be dumped for a man than a woman, you don't get to tell me my feelings are invalid. 

What Fletcher & Jojo Siwa did is exactly why so many lesbians refuse to date bisexuals--the lies, gaslighting & disrespect.  Plus the fact that between 80-90% of you will end up with a man permanently.  Those aren't great odds.  Lesbians' "lived experience" (to use another woke Gen Z term) matters as much as yours, so when you dismiss us for telling the truth about our bad experiences with bi women or downplay it by saying "we're not all like that," you're doing the very thing you accuse us of.  It's very #NotAllMen of you.  (Even men don't have an 80-90% rate of things the #MeToo movement accused them of).  Quit talking over lesbians or substituting your own worldview for ours.  We may be equal but we're not the same. 

I know this country's a shithole, but that's not what "joy" looks like.

I wish Jojo Siwa & Cari Fletcher all the success in the world with their new adoring straight/bi fanbases.  May their careers go exactly as well as that of "Elliot" Page since her stunning/brave decision to denounce her lesbianism/femaleness & LARP as a dude.    🤡

And if I sound like an angry man-hating lesbian, so be it.  If you honestly can't understand why lesbians might be a tad miffed, that shows a lack of empathy on your part, not mine.  Try stepping outside your own insular little world & into ours for a minute. 

[Review] - Acetalvic Codein

Vendor:  Star Stvff
Location:  Tyler, TX
Items:  Small amounts of kratom, cannabis, Rx meds
Rating:  4.8 of 5 stars
Website:  shternshtopn.blogspot.com

(Click pics to embiggen)

 

1 + 1 bit-in-half pill

Forgive the blurry part (top right): my PC logo was visible.  😝

If you've followed this blog for any length of time, you've probably seen one of my many reviews for Star Stvff, an email vendor based out of East Texas. If not, here are a couple to peruse:

- [Review] - Star Stvff: Red Hecate Kratom 
- [Review] Star Stvff:  Cannabis & Tylenol #3
- [Review] Cannabis Flower:  Cream Caramel

- [Review] Organic Hemp Tea: Suzy Q & Felina 32 

 My latest splurge was a 25-pack of the meds shown above: Acetalvic 30.  It was my 1st time trying this particular brand which is basically indentical to the Tydol Codein, Panactol Codein Plus & others made by Asian pharma companies. These are Tylenol #3 equivalents and they get the job done nicely, relieving pain and bringing a hush over the ramblings of your mind.  😌

Each pill contains 30 mg of codeine phosphate hemihydrate + 500 mg acetaminophen, which is just slightly more APAP than Tylenol #3 contains in the U.S.  The result is a stronger analgesic effect.  Just 2 of these bad boys got rid of my shoulder pain with the quickness & had me in a jolly good mood.  Of course you should do a Cold Water Extraction if taking more than the recommended daily APAP dose of 3,500 mg.  Your liver will thank you.  🙏🏼

Other Asian Tylenol #3 equivalents like Acetalvic




I placed the order on 5/16 and it arrived on 5/21.  Not bad considering we're running on USPS time AND there was a weekend in the middle!  Packaging was super stealthy with neat handwriting & no rattling or other giveaways about what was inside.  The price ($99 for 25 pills or $60 for 15) is a tad steep but I'm in my "stock up on things for Avian flu next winter" mode so I didn't care.  Oh, who am I kidding?  25 codeine tabs won't last me that long lmao.  My kratom supply is running low and I had some extra money leftover so I thought, what the hey?  It's been ages since I've had a real opiate and, while codeine isn't the strongest one around, I find it superior in every way to tramadol and slightly better than kratom (which feels somewhat "dirty" to me).  But not my lovely codeine.  She's all brakes, no gas.  Might pop some with a promethazine tablet later since I have some laying around... make some bootleg "sizzurp." 😆 

I'm giving this order a 4.8 of 5 stars for shipping speed, stealthy packaging & quality of meds.  The 0.2 star deduction is entirely due to the price, which is a tad high.  Then again you're paying for the peace of mind in knowing the meds ship promptly from within the U.S. & are not fentanyl bombs.  Star Stvff has always been super trustworthy in that regard.  Check 'em out if you're in the market for small amounts of pharmaceuticals, cannabis, kratom or other miscellany.

(Promise I'll review another vendor soon, heh). I figured the Google algorithm might pick up searches for "Acetalvic" and bring some new eyeballs to the ol' bliggity blog so here we are).

The Genius & Duality of Paul Reubens

How much do we REALLY know about our childhood heroes?  The people who are a staple in our lives, who we've never met but feel an instant kinship with?  For me, one of those people was Pee-Wee Herman, aka Paul Reubens (Reubenfeld).  Pee-Wee's Saturday morning TV show was primetime viewing at my house, where we'd usually record the episodes on VHS to watch later.  We have approximately FOUR of these tapes lying around somewhere (around 8 hours apiece).  We even had a talking Pee-Wee doll. 

My mom was amazed/amused at his bathroom humor and the sly jokes that were hidden in the subtext; my siblings and I were entranced by the flashy kiddie aspect:  the Magic Screen, Jambi, the singing flowers, Conky, Chairy and all the rest.  As a grown-up I now "get" all those dirty jokes and understand the true genius required to make material that's a hit with (stoned) adults & children alike.  That duality was one of Pee-Wee's superpowers: the rare ability to be evasive yet direct while making art that's both commercially viable & true to his wild avant-garde performer instincts.  To toe the line between "endearing" & "offensive" with humor that's as brash & immature as it is refined & subtle.  

...until a hot summer night in July 1991, that is.  'Subtle' had officially left the building by then.

Typical Pee-Wee fare.

That's the date Paul Reubens was arrested at a Sarasota adult movie theater for indecent exposure.  His mugshot shocked & horrified fans like me, who only knew him as the cleancut bowtie wearing goof Pee-Wee up to that point.  (He looked more like Pee-Wee in his 2002 mugshot for an even more serious crime.  More on that in a minute). 

While it was Paul who was arrested, Pee-Wee paid the price, his TV show being pulled from syndication, his dolls pulled from Toys-R-Us shelves & his reputation slandered on late night comedy shows, in newspapers and everywhere... which made me even MORE glad we had the foresight to tape all those episodes.  Pee-Wee made one final appearance on the MTV Music Awards before retreating from the public eye altogether for a long time, finally resurfacing to make another Pee-Wee movie in 2016.

The mugshot heard 'round the world.

Paul Reubens died in July 2023 of a cancer he'd kept secret for at least 3 years six years, even from his closest confidants.  Actually he had TWO deadly cancers when he passed:  metastatic lung cancer & acute myelogenous leukemia.  When his Instagram page announced that he'd died, I was shocked.  "We didn't even know he was sick!" was the common refrain to his tragic passing at age 70.  But he must've been incredibly sick at times between the two cancers and their respective treatments, which can be as brutal as cancer itself.  

💔

Lost in all the laughs, controversy & mystery of his life was the fact that Paul Reubens was a closeted gay man.  He reveals this in an HBO Max documentary entitled Pee-Wee Herman As Himself that I still haven't seen* because it hasn't been bootlegged anywhere and I refuse to pay $15+ per month for any damn channel.  I digress.  But I HAVE seen the Vice version which alluded to his homosexuality very heavily (much like Reubens often did himself).  It was a respectful send-off for a very private and mysterious guy.



Live from the Closet...

 

"Coming out" posthumously in Pee-Wee Herman As Himself

I remember when he was still alive and websites like Queerty chided him for his failure to make his sexuality the focal part of his life and career by "coming out".  Like it or not, that's what happens when a gay star reveals their sexual orientation--everything becomes about how "brave" they are & who they're dating/fucking--their art & even their humanity is no longer the focal point.  And Paul Reubens was from a time when being gay was even LESS accepted than it is now so it's understandable why he didn't want this black mark on his career. 

But he never HID it either--the 2016 movie had a whole gay plot & was overflowing with not-so-sly gay jokes/references, as was his Broadway show in 2010.  

From Reubens' Broadway show.

 

From Pee-Wee's big gay movie (2016).

Go further back to his '80s TV show and you'll find an equal amount of gay references.  His Christmas special featuring Grace Jones, Charo, Joan Rivers, KD Lang, Little Richard, Cher & other gay icons is one example of how the beloved manchild showcased his gay pride years before doing so was considered acceptable for actors, let alone children's performers.  His show also featured "Ricardo," the hunky Latino man in short-shorts who Pee-Wee would often make sly passes at.  This was at the height of Reaganism and AIDS, mind you.  The country was extremely conservative & gays were in the crosshairs, yet Reubens still had the guts to do all this on a Saturday morning TV show.

Tabloids (wrongly) linked Reubens romantically to another kooky never-married actress, Carol Kane.

Yet that still wasn't enough for the Alphabet Gang, who demands that all public figures no matter their age or background sacrifice themselves at the altar of LGBTQUIABBQ politics by saying the words "I am gay," preferably into a microphone like Ellen did on her sitcom.  As a non-celebrity who never formally "came out of the closet" myself, I can totally understand why someone like Reubens would be reluctant to make it "a thing" by saying the quiet part out loud.  Not only because it was his style as an artist but because of all the other, uhh, stains on his public image. 




Lengthy Legal History

Pee-Wee's cursed commercial.

After his 1991 legal debacle, Reubens was made to film an anti-drug PSA as part of his community service.  Ironic since the man himself was a drug user as he admitted in the HBO documentary ("I'm a weed head," "We used huge amounts of drugs on the Warner Bros. lot").  He was arrested in '83 for weed possession and hid the fact that he was a heavy cigarette smoker from kids when playing Pee-Wee.  Maybe I should criticize him for his lack of drug advocacy & failure to make drugs the focal point of his career?  Nah, I'll leave that kinda thing to the mad homos at Queerty.  🙃

Paul Reubens had quite a lengthy history of run-ins with the law.  In 1971 he was arrested for "loitering and prowling" near another adult movie theater in Sarasota.  By the time of his '91 arrest for indecent exposure, he'd been arrested 3 times total in the same county. 

Vice documentary discussing his 2002 arrest.

And then there was the OTHER arrest in 2002.  The one in which he was accused of possessing child pornography.  The thing so many others in Hollywood are currently being (credibly) accused of.  As a result of this charge, he was forced to register his address as a sex offender home for 3 years & stay away from unaccompanied contact with minors.  But he claimed until his dying day (literally) it was not true and indeed, the story behind it is confusing and contradictory.  Among his collection of thousands of "kitschy" sexual images was a (supposed) picture of someone under 18 in a suggestive pose... hardly indicative of an attraction towards children.  He ended up denying the CSAM allegations but admitting to possessing "obscene" material, which is an entirely subjective call.

Of the incident, he had this to say:

"One thing I want to make very, very clear, I don't want anyone for one second to think that I am titillated by images of children. It's not me. You can say lots of things about me. And you might. The public may think I'm weird. They may think I'm crazy or anything that anyone wants to think about me. That's all fine. As long as one of the things you're not thinking about me is that I'm a pedophile. Because that's not true."

Some of the images in question.

But it's what triggered the raid on his home that made me raise an eyebrow.  While Wikipedia doesn't mention it, articles from that time claim he was accused of hiring a 14-year old (Entertainment Weekly claims he was 17 and shares another awkward article including an interview with Reubens that paints him in a bad light) to pose for sexual pictures along with fellow actor & friend Jeffrey Jones.  When the boy went to cops to snitch, he told them Reubens' home was full of "child porn". But the Vice doc says the boy LIED about both his age & the CSAM, while still other sources say Reubens wasn't involved in the photography incident at all and the kid just saw his house at another time while hanging with Jones.  Where's the truth? 

The allegations about child porn were mostly disproved--Reubens collected vintage porn and often bought magazines "in bulk" according to a magazine dealer, who testified that he couldn't have possibly known what was on every page of these old mags, many of which were still in sealed boxes at the time of the raid. (Among the collection were many homoerotic images--surprise, surprise).  It's pretty rare to register as a sex offender if you're innocent.  Then again, the threat of even more jail time is often used to force defendants into "plea bargains" so who knows.  And what about the interactions with the underage boy?  And what exactly was found on all those computers & back-up discs?  

Thee image in question.

Nobody knows, but for some reason this incident didn't make huge waves in the news back then and certainly not as big as the 1991 arrest.  Undoubtedly because Reubens wasn't as "big" anymore, yet a child porn charge against ANY famous person is a big deal & would be frontpage news today.  As it should.  And if they were involved in childrens' programming to boot?  It'd be like Mr. Rogers or Barney violating children.  The fact that he would be dragged so hard for doing what you expect one to do in a porn theater while the CSAM/photography charges basically drew a collective "meh" from the press speaks to how common child sexual abuse is & was in showbiz.  And at that time they were NOT ready to talk about it.  


My Armchair Analysis

It sounds to me like Paul's choice to remain in the closet led to some poor decision making, particularly in regards to the loitering arrests.  Perhaps he would've been diagnosed with porn/sex addiction if it happened today.  If Reubens hadn't felt like he had to choose between being openly gay & being successful, he likely wouldn't have felt the need to engage in these other bizarre and sneaky activities, or to be so private in general.  It's a lot like George Michaels' arrest in that men's bathroom:  he was closeted at the time and sneaking around to meet men on the down low.  Repressed feelings don't magically go away-- they often show up in other, much worse ways.

However, the allegations about children do NOT fall under that category.  If he was guilty of any of that, it's 100% on him & he should've sat in prison for a time.  A long time.  But in my biased opinion it seems like the 2002 arrest was a witch-hunt for which he was targeted due to his infamy & closetedness.  When they failed to find actual CSAM, it was like "Okay, but we know your Big Gay Secret so you better cop to an obscenity charge & we'll call it even".  Gays have long been accused of being pedophiles, and here was a high-profile closeted gay man with a history of sex crimes & a now-defunct children's show.  Having all that vintage gay material simply wouldn't do for the LAPD, who have been involved in their own set of crimes & scandals.  

Describing his character while promoting another project.

The Brilliance is IN the Subtext

A man of many faces

So much about Paul Reubens the man is and will probably remain forever unknowable.  It should be said that he was a serious actor who starred in a number of other projects besides the Pee-Wee thang.  He portrayed a range of VERY different characters in these gigs.  The 1st that comes to mind is his character in the Johnny Depp flick Blow.  This character is closest to how I imagine Paul Reubens THE PERSON to be when the lights & Pee-Wee costume are off and he's at home alone.  But that's just a guess.  From his spotty legal history to his sexuality/drug use to his super secretive battle with cancer, Reubens remains an enigma.  And maybe it's better that way.

If he had lived openly in every way, wearing his orientation on his sleeve, perhaps we never would've gotten the subversive, high-art Pee-Wee Herman character.  Shows and movies today are far too direct and beat you over the head with the message in a condescending, preachy way.  Pee-Wee's TV and stage shows were so great in large part because of the subtext & what wasn't said.  He fought for diversity & representation with his multicultural cast, pushed censorship limits with tons of hidden sexual innuendos, gave mainstream platforms to other serious artists like Gary Panter & spread the message of inclusivity/individuality all on a CBS kids' show. 

If you really think he failed us by failing to come out publicly in grand "look at me" fashion, you've missed the entire point of Paul Reubens the artist & performer.  For all the damage it did, it seems to me that his closetedness provided extra fuel to "come out" as a weirdo in every other way: as a nerd, a prankster, a trailblazing children's TV pioneer, a rulebreaker & a rebel.  ("I'm a loner, Dottie.  A rebel").  It's unfortunate that he felt he had to hide that aspect of himself to be successful but he wasn't--and still isn't--alone.  And he really only hurt himself by doing so.

His posthumous message to his fans on social media read:

"Please accept my apology for not going public with what I've been facing the last six years. I have always felt a huge amount of love and respect from my friends, fans, and supporters. I have loved you all so much and enjoyed making art for you."

✼　 ҉　 ҉　 ҉　 ҉　 ҉　 ҉　✼

 *Edit:  I DID finally watch the (bootlegged) HBO documentary, thankyouverymuch.  A great and touching movie that contains tons of precious rare footage.  In it he discusses his influences, which included Howdy Doody, Little Rascals, Andy Warhol's factory & circus performers to name a few.  He performed on his college campus as a drag queen (pics below).  He also discusses his first relationship with a man named Guy & how they split up largely to help him hide his homosexuality & advance his career.  The way he stayed in character IRL at times is reminiscent of Andy Kaufman, who has also been said to have been gay or bisexual in secret.  

This film helped fill in the gaps & give us a more definitive look into the life of a reclusive genius who died too soon, leaving a void in the hearts of his fans. It's the closest thing to closure we'll be getting, at least.  He passed only one week before he was set to film the "final scene" in which he was to discuss his arrest for child pornography.  In true Paul Reubens fashion, he chose to do it his own way & the result is very sweet & sad. 

The film highlighted the excessive need for control that Reubens had, a trait that's all too familiar to most closeted people.  That fear of being exposed at any minute can lead to being a little too Type A or obsessive, but he ultimately relinquished control and revealed himself (in a good way this time) to his adoring audience.  In the name of avoiding big spoilers, I'll stop here in describing the 2025 documentary because you really should see it yourself.  I'll just say that stars like Paul Reubens are a rarity these days, and THAT is truly tragic. 🫶🏻

R.I.P. Paul Reubens
(1952 - 2023)
🕴🏻🚲