Thursday, March 22, 2018

(Review) 4 Strain Kilo of Kratom

Vendor:  Swirl Girl Inc.
Location:  Midwest, USA
Price:  1KG; 4 strains.  $104 including Priority shipping w/ tracking

Swirl Girl Inc is a vendor I've used since my research chemical days back in 2013.  She's slowly morphed into more of an ethnobotanical/nootropic vendor but occasionally offers some pharmaceuticals or RC's to return customers.  Her kratom is hands-down the best I can find at the moment, even though it takes about 5 days after ordering to arrive due to the way she obtains her items from her supplier.  This process never takes more than a few days & always goes smoothly, plus she usually throws in a "bonus" goodie or two for my wait which is much appreciated.  The quality is well worth the wait & not a big deal if you plan your orders before you run out.  Plus she takes Paypal which is getting harder to find with kratom vendors.

Chocolate Bentuangie

This time I went with the 4-way split kilo & got some of each color:  White Elephant, Chocolate Bentuangie, Monster Blend & Red Hulu Kapuas.  The Monster Blend is a discount strain, which subtracted $5 off my order.  It's a combo of Green Malay & Gold Bali.  Very mellow & long-lasting.  (Discount strains are no weaker than regular ones--they're usually just blends of two or more strains together that are $5 cheaper than the others).  The Chocolate Bentuangie is also very mellow: a dark brown color with a super easy-to-handle taste compared to other strains--almost like dark roasted coffee.  I am partial to Bentuangies, i.e. the fermented strains.  They go down smooth & have a unique taste that you either love or hate.  This Chocolate Bent is made from a red-vein strain but is slightly on the more energetic side than, say, a Red Bali.  It numbs my neck pain in a hurry without making me sedated.  I had some last night & remained fully functional through the evening.

White Elephant

Next we have White Elephant which I consumed before writing this review.  I must say I'm feeling more lively than when I started writing.  I suffer from chronic fatigue which tends to get worse in the spring for some reason.  I think the wind kicking up pollen & dust might be contributing, or maybe it's just the change of seasons.  Anyway, it's horrible and all I can do is sleep.  So this extra boost of adrenaline is very refreshing.  This is a different energy than you get from coffee or even Adderall.  Not entirely euphoric but very productive, sort of like Ritalin if I had to compare it to something.  (Note:  white strains seem to be stronger than reds, so start with a low dose if you're new to kratom).  I'm not normally a white-vein kinda guy but I've been so fooking tired lately I had to try something new, and am glad I opted for the White Elephant. It's a great morning strain. 

Last we have Red Hulu Kapuas: the crown jewel.  I've had this strain from this vendor many times & it's my all-time favorite.  Pure bliss, like being wrapped in a warm comfy blanket.  This batch is no different.  I had a spoonful yesterday as a night cap & drifted off to a peaceful sleep, but not before watching the entire series of "Generation X" on National Geographic and having a blast doing it.  This strain can make even the dullest things fun, which is why I urge moderation with it.  Everything isn't supposed to be this fun, haha.  😊

Conclusion:  There's cheaper kratom out there, and there's faster delivery out there.  You could get kratom right now from a gas station or head shop, but do you know what's in it?  With Swirl Girl, you know you're getting quality kratom from a domestic supplier who gets all her leaf from the same source every time.  It's finely ground with no "enhancers" or additives and comes in tightly sealed reusable bags that are sturdy & won't fall apart.  But most importantly, it's potent.  Really potent.  The best potency for the money I've found to date.  I'd even say it's on par with DG Botanicals, which is a membership-only site.  And she's a really small one-man (woman?) operation so you get one-to-one customer service that feels personal & special.  As long as you're not a dick.  😉


  1. How do I find her??? I super interested in a kilo but website is down hey...

    1. Hey there, Swirl Girl unfortunately closed up shop earlier in the year. I posted briefly about it in a blog entry. Check out the other kratom reviews I've written though--have found some great sources in the past few months.

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