Saturday, March 27, 2021

Peak Trans: The Challenor Saga & Peddit's Radfem Censorship

I'm writing this article in the wake of the Aimee Challenor scandal at Reddit, which re-opened the wound of being banished from the Gender Critical communities there.  Meanwhile, the communities MOCKING Gender Critical (i.e. /r/GenderCynical) are allowed to remain intact.  At this rate, there won't be anywhere left on the internet for views like mine.  That should scare & enrage everyone regardless of your views on this issue.  It's a sad day when the "progressive left" is this openly pro-censorship & apathetic about pedophilia while reserving their vitriol for women who dare to stand up for our right to maintain sex-segregated spaces and bodily autonomy against the trans rights lobby.

Aimee Challenor, former Reddit admin

The Sexism of the Trans Rights Movement

Biological sex is material reality; gender identity is regressive trash.  You can't identify into an oppressed class like "woman," "Black" or "disabled" because you can't identify OUT of those things--they're material realities for billions of people in the world.  If I was to claim I was blind or schizophrenic (I'm not); that would be morally repugnant for all the same reasons it's offensive for a man to claim womanhood or a white person to claim to be Black or Native American.  

Men can wear dresses, makeup and have long hair all they want.  The idea that skirts are for girls and pants are for boys is a totally fabricated, man-made concept anyway.  But know this:  WEARING THOSE THINGS DOES NOT MAKE YOU A WOMAN ANY MORE THAN STANDING IN A GARAGE MAKES ME A CAR.  Nor does taking exogenous estrogen or having plastic surgery to alter your reproductive organs.  More importantly, you aren't suddenly entitled to women's restrooms, sports, prisons, shelters, rape crisis centers or other spaces simply because you "identify" as a woman, whatever that means.  The belief that this is the way it should be is an entirely new invention that's sprung to public consciousness in the last 15 years or less.  It's the latest battle in the Culture Wars® meant to distract us from the million and one ways our plutocrat overlords are fucking us all over.  And it's working.  

The rapid rise in the number of people--both adults and kids--who identify as transgender in the past decade or so--has all the makings of a mass psychogenic illness.  And there are constantly new parameters being added and goalposts being moved.  If you call these "folx" out on their hypocrisies, they simply fire back with something like "what does it cost you to respect someone's identity?" or similar.  It costs me a lot, as a matter of fact.  My physical safety, my right to identify as a woman rather than a "vagina-haver" and the like, as well as my right to speak freely about my own lived experiences on the internet on sites like Reddit, which I'll get into in a minute.

And check out these actual screencaps of transwomen and activists making vile and violent threats against lesbians who put up boundaries around their own sexuality.  Questioning women's consent and sexual boundaries?  Super progressive.  

PsyOp 👁 Mind Control

The thing is, this whole trans rights movement is not about protecting trans people from physical harm or gaining equal rights like housing, marriage equality and equal employment.  It's about forcing everyone to unquestioningly jump through every new flaming hoop no matter how ridiculous (see:  actor who prefers "tree/treeself" pronouns & how Twitter falls all over itself to accommodate this nonsense).  It's about seeing how far and how fast they can push the general public to swallow new levels of absurdity; putting the comfort of a minuscule minority of the population above the safety of all women and children.  It enables one-way only violence in which trans rights activists threaten & slander once beloved figures like JK Rowling while censoring anyone who dares to even have a point of view in the opposing direction--even when they are extremely careful to avoid violence or slurs.  It's about silencing dissent.  

In 2020, Reddit banned every long-standing sub that had anything to do with radical feminism or gender critical content, which included several gay and lesbian communities.  Decades of discussion erased in an instant.  But Reddit is moderated by pedophiles and trans activists, with significant overlap between the two at times.  This whole Aimee Challenor scandal is too deep a rabbithole to get into here, but I strongly urge you to Google it for yourself.  

(P)Reddit hates women.

Short version:  Challenor was a politician whose father was a rapist and whose husband is a self-confessed pedophile who was HIRED by Reddit to admin and moderate many subs, including several having to do with child/teen content.  He had a hand in the banning and removal of said gender critical subs in 2020, yet that ban remains in place even after they "discovered" he was knee-deep in pedophilia & fired him.  And that's just the tip of the iceberg.  Head over to Graham Linehan's blog (linked above) for the full story.  Big Tech is in the back pocket of trans activists so we can expect this trend to continue.  It's not over.  Check out the pedophilia apologia from one day after Challenor's firing--the comments in particular.  It's no better on Twitter or Tumblr.  

There's been a concerted effort to groom the world into accepting pedophilia as a sexual orientation or another garden variety mental illness worthy of sympathy in the past few years, coinciding suspiciously with the rise of the trans rights movement.  Much of this has taken place on the internet where these tech bros-in-lipstick are working in their cushy Silicon Valley programming jobs.  Just look how often trans-related issues trend on Twitter.  These things are of almost no consequence in the real world as trans people are a tiny fraction of the population, but by the looks of it you'd think pronouns were the #1 political issue facing our nation.  That's by design.  

Gender:  Today's stand-in for personality.

At the time of this writing, there are 32 official genders and almost as many sexual orientations.  The vast majority of thinking people know this is bullshit regardless of political leanings, yet it's being pushed on us hard by the media, certain political parties and of course social media/tech.  Anyone who disagrees is labeled a TERF or lumped in with conservatives or religious fanatics.  It's perfectly fine to deploy ageism by calling someone a "Boomer" if they call this retardation out for what it is.  Trans are the current sacred cow--anyone who disagrees is fair game to be dragged by any means necessary.  No blow is too low.  

Let me put this out there now:  I'm about as leftist as they come:  a socialist to my core, agnostic in my religious beliefs (atheist leaning) with no tolerance for violence or injustice to anyone.  The idea that a bunch of left-leaning feminists would suddenly make a hard right turn over this one issue for no reason is ridiculous.  Look deeper.  We were on board with the trans rights movement until they trampled our right to safety and bodily autonomy.  

Grooming A Generation

Girl of unknown age gets "top surgery" (source: Twitter)

Children are perhaps the biggest casualty in this trans insanity.  Whether they transition "socially" or go through with more extreme body modification, it can have a drastic and lasting impact on their life.  What the kids taken in by this nonsense don't seem to realize is that they're substituting all these genders for a personality.  

The brain isn't finished developing until sometime around age 25, and even that is iffy.  The pre-teen and teen years are absolutely tumultuous in terms of forming an identity.  Puberty is fucking rocky for the best of us--voices crack, acne pops up, girls develop at wildly different rates from their female peers, libido kicks in and that's just the beginning.  Look back through your middle or high-school yearbook and see how many different styles and "looks" you had... how many social development phases you went through.  Sporty, girly, tomboy, jock, preppy, goth, thug, skater, etc.  Maybe you experimented with your sexuality or maybe you already knew what you were into.  Your friend groups and extracurricular activities likely changed dramatically over time.  Your first love, let alone your first crush?  Your "dream career"?  How different were those things back then vs. now?  No matter what these years looked like for you, there's no denying you were NOT who you would go on to be in adulthood back then.  None of us were.  

Now imagine making a decision that could forever alter your fertility & sexual function before puberty even set in.  That's what kids who take puberty blockers are doing.  And they're making that decision in the midst of a social media and peer-driven hysteria that's influencing the decision in ways they can't fully grasp yet.  The vast majority of kids who take puberty blockers go on to take cross-sex hormones, so the argument that it's "reversible" is kind of bullshit.  Plus, nobody really knows the effects of taking Lupron during this vital developmental stage and then stopping.  Is puberty delayed, altered, or does it just not happen?  Do the genitals grow to their full, functional potential?  Does your brain?  Your bones?  

Yet trans activists talk so flippantly about puberty blockers you'd think they were Tic Tacs.  One activist recently suggested we place ALL kids on them until they can decide their gender "for themselves".  While not likely to ever happen, this is the kind of rhetoric kids are being exposed to online.  This idea that their chromosomes, gametes and the very hormones flowing through their bodies are of absolutely no consequence and that some elusive "gender identity" trumps all is pushed with cult-like zeal by people who seem to have an ulterior motive.  Wonder what it could be?  

More worrying is the sky-high rate of autism in trans-identifying kids, many of whom are also gay.  The most recent study--and largest to date--shows that 24% of trans-identifying people have autism compared to only 5% of cis or non-trans people.  Think about the ethical implications of that.  Gay kids are often gender non-conforming.  Does that mean it's okay to push them into a lifetime of conversion therapy with hormones & surgery so they can conform to societal norms & live as faux-heterosexuals?  

This isn't a theoretical argument for me:  I'm an autistic lesbian who very much wanted to be a boy from a very young age.  Then I grew up and realized I was actually just a lesbian who resented sexist double standards & the forced femininity & sexualization of my existence that all women go through.  So, a feminist lesbian.  And thank God I wasn't raised in today's oppressive climate or my homophobic parents might've allowed me to do what so many other young gay girls are doing:  making the leap from tomboy-butch to trans "man".  And they're doing that because having a straight son is preferable to having a gay daughter in many parts of the country.  That's how it's done in Iran, where homosexuality is 100% illegal but sex reassignment surgery is performed regularly so gay couples can stay together due to a loophole in the Quran.  If you think our conservative Christian society is more enlightened than their conservative Muslim one, think again.  

America's Christian right vs. Iran's Muslim majority: not so different

No matter how progressive the trans movement bills itself as, it's regressive as hell and has nothing in common with the LGB part of the rainbow.  In fact, the two are at odds and should no longer be lumped in together politically or otherwise.  The trans rights people will tell you themselves, "Gender identity is completely separate from sexual orientation.  The two are unrelated."  Great.  Then it's time for the T's & Q's to create their own movements, safe spaces & sports leagues like the rest of us have had to.  If transwomen feel unsafe around men in prisons or bathrooms, that's a very real and unfortunate issue.  They should take it up with the heterosexual males who are committing violence against them and the institutions that allow it to occur, NOT with innocent women who have been dealing with the same violence since the dawn of time.  Where are their hateful names like "TERF" & "feminazi"?  Why are these slurs reserved only for women, who have never actually laid a finger on trans people?  Because the trans rights movement is a MEN'S rights movement at its core.  One that seeks to validate the fetishes of men & trample the rights of an already oppressed group (women).  

BBC World:  Iran's Sex-Change "Solution"

Women's spaces exist to protect WOMEN:  adult female humans with vaginas who are capable of being raped and impregnated against their will & little girls who are preyed upon by pedophile men as happens around the world every minute of every day.  And here the trans brigade come with their narcissistic crusade trying to take those spaces away, comparing sex segregated spaces to racial segregation in what might be the most offensive and idiotic argument employed by the trans activists to date.  Race is a social construct based on superficial differences; sex is not.  If this needs to be explained in further detail I can't help you.  It's similar to their use of intersex people to bolster their argument that gender is a spectrum... or some horseshit.  They have no regard for the people they use as stepping stones & props in arguments--groups that are already suffering.  It's all about obtaining their narcissistic supply.  

Transexuals vs. Nu Trans

To the transsexuals (TS) who just want to live as their preferred gender without all the narcissistic attention-whoring of the modern trans movement, this isn't directed at you.  This tiny group has always existed, quietly, and never tried to stomp on women or force themselves sexually on anyone gay or otherwise.  They tend to be homosexual transsexuals who go through with reassignment surgery & suffer actual gender dysphoria from a young age.  Compare this with the fetishist "transbians" (FET) who get turned on by wearing women's clothes and keep their dicks intact, walking around looking like soap-shy linebackers in dresses.  Or the blue-haired gals (excuse me, "enbies") who resemble "It's Pat" from '80s SNL & will do anything to distance themselves from womanhood or lesbianism, adopting "they/them" pronouns rather than simply answering to normal singular female ones.  

There's a lot of overlap with anime for both of these FET groups and sissy hypno for the guys, which points to some kind of fetish or brain glitch that happens long after early childhood or the womb.  The rise in increasingly extreme & available online porn correlates with the rise in transgenderism so perfectly that the dearth of studies on the issue is breathtaking.  "Trans" porn was the 5th most popular category in 2018 according to Pornhub, quadrupling in search queries since 2014.  Is porn imitating life or is life imitating porn?  Considering how the popular BDSM novel 50 Shades of Gray resulted in a wave of emergency sex injuries, I'd say it's the latter.  

Trans was the 5th most popular category in 2018 on the world's most popular porn site.

But actual transsexuals do exist in small numbers and deserve to live lives of dignity with all the same rights as anyone else so long as they're upfront with sexual partners about their trans status.  Nobody likes to be deceived in matters of intimacy.  Incidentally, many TS do "pass" as their preferred gender (see:  ladyboys of Thailand) as they were often effeminate to begin with, unlike the fetishist cross-dressers who call themselves trans yet make only the most half-assed attempt to resemble women because, you guessed it, it's just a fetish for them.  Keeping their male organs is central to their way of life unlike the transsexuals who would go to great lengths to get rid of theirs.  Somewhere around 85% of trans "women" keep their dicks by choice, which is one reason this is such a big issue for women.  These are the people fighting to be moved to women's prisons and other spaces from which we can't escape, or places we run to for sanctuary from men.  

It's this latter group that attract so many furries, diaper lovers, pedophiles, porn addicts, voyeurs, pregnancy/lactation fetishists and predatory types.  (See: Aimee Challenor, Jessica Yaniv, etc)  And yes, #notalltrans are deviants.  Obviously.  But the number of incidents of criminal and predatory behavior in this small community is abnormally high, particularly for a group who claim to be oppressed or victims themselves.  It's time somebody answer for it in a meaningful way instead of just trying to distance themselves & claim these aren't "real" trans people.  (They say that about detransitioners too, don't they?)  

The conundrum women face is we have no way of knowing who's "really" trans & who's just a perv, hence the need to draw a firm line in the sand and exclude ALL biological males from our spaces.  The fact that we're having to go backwards & deal with this type of thing in the 21st Century is depressing after the progress made with Title IX, affirmative action and other incremental strides in women's rights over the years.  With climate change, late stage capitalism, militarized police killing Black people in the streets and all the other time-sensitive issues facing us, we really don't have time for this.  Yet here we are.  

Check out the links below if you're truly interested in learning more about this issue.  Or you can just dismiss me as a "transphobe" and be done with it.  Your call.  Just remember that I don't condone doxxing, physical violence or other forms of illegal/intrusive behavior against ANYONE, and neither should you.  This whole "punch a TERF/Antifa/Nazi/whatever" fad needs to die.  Hypermasculine violent energy is not progressive no matter whether it comes from the left or right.  

Resources & Further Reading:

Feminist Current

Get the L Out

Fair Play For Women

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Wednesday, March 24, 2021

Summer is Stimulant/Empathogen Season

Unto every season there is a drug; unto every drug there is a season.  Summer is stimulant/empathogen season.  Stimulants are energizing & boost focus while empathogens have some of these effects plus a warm, euphoric edge that opens the heart to increase empathy.  Summer is the season of fun & games, adventure, travel and long, hot days.  Stimulants are the ideal fit for this time of year as they promote passion, energy & a desire to explore.  While these drugs can have addictive potential, they help many people medically (ADHD, narcolepsy) and are good fun when used responsibly during the summer months exclusively.  Just be sure to stay hydrated and take rest breaks to avoid overheating.  

Don't react well to stimulants or empathogens?  All good.  Boosting dopamine with a high-protein meal, vigorous exercise & some uptempo Electronic tunes will get you in the right headspace.  And there are less potent alternatives like caffeine, kanna & coca that will give a smaller jolt of energy without the extreme effects if taken in responsible doses.  Be sure to follow me on Twitter @BannedintheUSSA for tons of empathogen & stimulant posts all summer long.  

Never stop shining~  🌞

Friday, March 19, 2021

Spring is Cannabinoid Season

Unto every drug there is a season; unto every season there is a drug.  Neither a stimulant, depressant or hallucinogen but a bit of all three, cannabis belongs to its own unique class of drugs that stimulates the mind while relaxing the body.  Spring is the season of rebirth, new beginnings, stormy weather & a transition from cold to hot temperatures.  Cannabis brings the perfect uplifting energy for awakening the spirit after a winter of dormancy and hibernation.  Every strain contains a unique blend of THC, CBD & terpenes resulting in different aromas & effects.  Sativas--tall, lanky & stimulating--are the "yin" to the "yang" of the Indicas, which are short, stout and relaxing.  The amount of variety within the cannabis family is refreshing to the 5 senses, as are the many ways the plant can be prepared and consumed.  

If weed isn't for you, there are a variety of hemp & CBD products that are legal in all 50 states & won't get you high.  Listening to cannabis-themed music or viewing art inspired by the plant can help put you in the mindset to enjoy the season as well.  Simply learning about the plethora of medical & industrial uses of hemp/cannabis is a good way to get into the spirit too.  Be sure to follow me on Twitter @BannedintheUSSA for cannabis-related posts all season. 

Stay cloudy!  🌦

The Pharcyde: Where It All Went Cydeways

Alternative Rap group The Pharcyde emerged from a place and time that was highly unlikely.  Coming from South Central L.A. during the most violent period in the region's history, they were a breath of fresh air, providing light-hearted rhymes during a time when political hip-hop like Public Enemy was fading and gangster rap was beginning to take off.  Their brand of cool skater rap with hilarious punchlines over smooth jazz beats was unlike anything else around at the time & has aged like fine wine in a fickle industry.  

Their first album Bizarre Ride II the Pharcyde was hailed as a masterpiece by East and West Coast heads alike, setting them on course to perform alongside big bands like De La Soul and A Tribe Called Quest at Lollapalooza. Their second album Labcabincalifornia hit an entirely different note and was not as critically acclaimed at the time, though it has gone down in hip hop history as a classic for its moody production (by the late great J Dilla) and overall lyrical quality.  The band's most eccentric member Fatlip departed after this album, leaving 3 members behind to carry on the Pharcyde name.  They released one more full album, Plain Rap, in 1999 as a trio before Tre Hardson, the lightskinned crooner of the group, left for good.  This caused a huge rift between the 4 men that still hasn't been entirely mended to this day.  

Humboldt Beginnings

The guys started out as dancers in the late '80s, with Imani, Tre & Bootie Brown serving a stint as backup dancers on In Living Color for a short period before landing a recording deal alongside Fatlip with Delicious Vinyl in 1991.  They worked with producer J. Swift on their first album Bizarre Ride II the Pharcyde and then enlisted the beloved J Dilla for Labcabincalifornia, as J. Swift had succumbed to a nasty crack addiction by then and was living on the streets.  Though the guys only had two proper full-length albums as a group, they did some of the most innovative work in that time.  Their videos were elaborate & included stunts like skydiving onto an island ("She Said"), white slavery ("Runnin") and learning to rap entire verses backwards with the help of a linguist (see video for "Drop" below).  

Since this is a drug blog, I'd be remiss not to mention the group's epic weed songs.  Bizarre Ride had "Pack the Pipe" which contained the hilarious and controversial Fatlip verse about toking with a curious 4-year-old while Labcabincalifornia had "Splattitorium," with its 420-friendly chorus.  The Pharcyde were known as the Merry Pranksters of hip hop at a time when comedy was sorely lacking in the game.  Violence was still soaring as the crack epidemic and gang problem was coming to a head in the early '90s.  Ironic, jokester artists like Eminem wouldn't debut for years yet, so it's hard to emphasize just how different and refreshing the group was.  Influential too.  L.A. Weekly ranked them #5 Most Influential Hip Hop Band of All Time.  Their fanbase includes people of all backgrounds, from white Colorado snowboarders to NY backpack hip hoppers to Amsterdam natives.  

The E.N.D.

But it became clear by the release of Labcabincalifornia that the members were going in different directions creatively.  The video for "She Said," for instance, is rife with this mix of conflicting energies.  You see Tre trying to be serious with his soulful singing while Fatlip is doing his best to be goofy and blow it off.  And Fatlip doesn't even have a proper verse on "Drop".  The documentary "Cydeways" was released around the time Fatlip was kicked out and offers a good look at the band during this transitional period along with some of their greatest hits and videos.  They didn't seem to have any lasting hard feelings against 'Lip, but it was Tre's departure that really created the severe rift in the group, causing Imani and Bootie to become distant and start performing under the Pharcyde name as a duo.  Their 2004 album Humboldt Beginnings received little attention, critical or otherwise, and they sort of faded from the spotlight as a group after that for several years.  

Personal problems with Fatlip and Tre were the main reasons for the breakup from what I can gather.  Fatlip didn't approve of Tre's singing and had picked up a cocaine habit as well as taking to Ecstasy while the other guys were strictly weedheads.  This caused the initial issues leading up to his departure.  What happened with Slimkid3 (Tre) is a bit murkier.  He's alluded to a "nervous breakdown" in a Hip Hop DX interview but aside from that, it sounds like creative differences.  He began engaging in side projects with everyone from Brian Austin Green to Korn to G. Love & The Special Sauce, eventually branching off into full-blown solo albums.  That's all well and good but there's no denying that it takes time and creative energy away from the core group.  This pissed Bootie Brown and Imani off and they'd eventually had enough, causing Tre to leave for good after the release of Plain Rap in 1999.  More about their creative differences here.  

Fatlip had a modest hit with his solo album The Loneliest Punk in 2005.  The Spike Jonze documentary that came out with it was sadly enlightening about where his mind was at the time.  It's clear he has some level of depression and is very self-conscious, introspective and open about his low points.  It's impossible not to like the guy.  He's a damn good lyricist and could probably achieve a lot more if he was properly treated for his mood issues instead of the constant self-medicating--something I can relate to.  Some have likened Tre & Fatlip to the McCartney & Lennon of the group, claiming Imani and Bootie Brown are messing up the legacy by carrying on the Pharcyde name.  That's a bit harsh but I tend to agree with the assessment in terms of raw talent.  Tre is multi-talented in terms of rhyming and singing while Fatlip is arguably one of the most unique and interesting vocalists on the underground scene, his self-deprecating humor matched by no one.  

The Making of The Pharcyde's "Drop" (the most complex/innovative video in rap history)

But with great talent tends to come great eccentricity and ego, which seems to be what happened here.  Imani and Bootie Brown seem to be the most focused on the brand as a whole while the other two have wanted to venture off into solo work, outside collabs, DJ'ing and various other things that have siphoned focus from the group.  For a time, Fatlip was abusing cocaine.  (He talks about this in the Spike Jonze documentary "What's Up, Fatlip?")  So no matter how talented they may be, none of that matters much if they can't stay in groupmode where their talents will be put to best use.  It's not fair to blame the two remaining members for messing things up when they've held it down all these years as the others have gone off to "find themselves creatively" or whatever.  Keeping a band together and relevant requires a concerted effort on everyone's part; there's not a lot of room for side projects and self-promotion.  

And the situation may be a lot deeper than that.  But from the interviews I've read, that's the impression I get.  Fatlip left (or was kicked out?) first followed by Tre.  That part is indisputable.  And so is this part:  The 4 members are best together rather than solo.  I think everyone would agree.  It's similar to the Bizzy & Krayzie Bone situation--both of those guys are highly talented in their own right but fans prefer them with Bone Thugs-n-Harmony as a group.  It's hard not to look at all the lost years of youth that have been wasted bickering and going down blind alleys but all 4 Pharcyde members are still alive so all is not lost.  If they can get a mediator and sit down with a fresh mindset with the intention of focusing on the group project, they can get their fanbase back and win over new fans.  Even put out new music.  I'd be here for it.  What I'm not here for are the lawsuits, fighting over who gets to use the Pharcyde name and who's to blame for the initial breakup.  Life is too short.  

In the meantime, check out this comprehensive collection of Pharcyde & Slimkid3 music from Tre Hardson's website.  Most of it isn't on Spotify but some can be found on Youtube.  And this documentary from 2002 has all their greatest hits with interviews/concert clips in between.  (It was shot in that awkward era after Fatlip left but Tre was still with the group).  There have been some worthwhile solo and semi-group projects in recent years, among which include 2007's "All I Want for Christmas (Is Somebody Else)" feat. Slimkid3 & Fatlip, as well as Fatlip's 2017 solo guest spot on Portugal. The Man's track "Mr. Lonely".  But so far no true Pharcyde albums featuring all 4 original members since Labcabincalifornia in 1995.  Bootie Brown did an AMA on Reddit in late 2020 that can be found here.  

L to R:  Bootie Brown, Fatlip, Imani, Slimkid3

Monday, March 15, 2021

Allen v. Farrow: An Outsider's Verdict

Mia Farrow and Woody Allen with son & daughter (Dylan)

I'm not a fan of Woody Allen and don't think I've seen any of his movies (I've never seen 95% of mainstream movies so this isn't anything new for me).  Ditto Mia Farrow.  But this hideous scandal broke when I was a kid and was so sordid it stuck around rent free in my brain only to pop back up periodically over the years online or in the tabloids, most recently when daughter Dylan broke her silence with an essay accusing Allen of molesting her.  For decades, the story was passed off as the vengeful musings of a woman scorned--that Mia somehow dreamed up the whole scenario to get back at Woody for leaving her for her adopted daughter Soon-Yi.  That she managed to implant these memories in Dylan's head & turn all his kids against him (except two; we'll get to that later).  

For many years I accepted this as the more likely possibility.  Mia always came across as "off"--one of those Hollywood stars who could switch from ditsy to borderline psycho with the flick of a switch.  And my opinion of her as a person hasn't changed, but after watching the HBO documentary Allen v. Farrow, my opinion of the overall situation HAS.  I know these documentaries are not 100% unbiased so I've been scouring the web for everything I can find on the story and boy, have I found a lot to back up the movie's claims.  I've linked some of my sources in this article but I encourage you to do your own digging if you're truly interested in finding the facts.  Just be sure to see my addendum at the end of this piece.  

Counting Red Flags

1st Red Flag:  A man who is adamantly against having kids readily dating a woman who has SEVEN children.  Even Mia expected to have a hard time finding a match with that many kids and was shocked when Woody partnered with her so readily.  This wouldn't have been such a big red flag if he had wanted to be a father, but by his own admission, he was repulsed by things like changing diapers and made a point of living in his own separate apartment across town because he wanted to remain a "free spirit" and take no active role in parenting or even forming a relationship with the adopted children.  This was a childfree-by-choice man who wanted to put physical space between himself and Mia's seven kids.  He gradually warmed to them though and agreed to try for a biological child as long as he retained no responsibility for raising it.  This is not really a red flag for molestation but a definite sign of bad judgment on Mia's part.  You don't make a baby with someone who doesn't want to be a parent.  That's just cruel to the child.  

But she did try and, while they couldn't conceive her own biological child at that time, she was able to adopt one.  This time though, Woody told her to request a blonde, blue eyed white girl baby that he would actually care about and form a bond with.  WHAT?!  Insert Red Flag #2.  This implies two things:  #1, that he wasn't able to truly bond with the Asian kids because they didn't look like him (racist) and #2, that he had more nefarious reasons for seeking out a little girl child with those specific features.  So, stupidly, Mia adopted Dylan: a little girl who met all the criteria.  And Woody proceeded to form an obsessive, smothering attachment that caused the child to retreat into herself and become a different person in front of her family's eyes.  Red Flag #3.  

As the toddler grew into a child, there were many disturbing incidents observed by Mia and various neighbors, family friends and even Dylan's therapist (what 5 year old needs a THERAPIST?) that went unheeded, which constitute numerous Red Flags.  Incidents that involved Woody touching Dylan inappropriately on her buttocks, laying his head on her lap or cuddling naked with her in bed alone.  Red.  Flaaaaaaaaags.  But this was not enough to cause Mia to leave or report him to police.  What she did instead was take him to therapy--a psychologist who also failed to see his predatory behavior for what it was, likely because of his wealth and status as a famous (white) man of great intelligence and distinction.  The idea that he could be an outright child molester was apparently too much for even a professional to tangle with, though they DID admit his relationship with the child was inappropriately intense.  

Think about that for a moment.  What kind of sense does that make?  An "inappropriately intense" relationship with your 5-year-old that's not sexual in nature.  A grown man obsessed with one of his 8 children to the point it makes the child depressed and withdrawn and concerns the mom enough to warrant therapy.  A child he specifically requested the mother adopt based on her race and physical features.  BUT IT'S NOT SEXUAL.  MMM-KAY.  What IS it then?  

This was in 1990.  By 1992, Mia found the explicit nude photos of her adopted daughter Soon-Yi and the rest is history.  It was almost as if he knew the jig was up with Dylan so moved on to his next target.  For some bizarre reason, people use the fact that Woody and Soon-Yi have stayed together all these years as "proof" that he's not a pedophile or that it's a virtuous relationship which is ridiculous.  Especially when you consider that several of his movies (including a disturbing number of discarded scripts) contain plots of underage/teenage girls being groomed by older--sometimes much older--men.  It's clearly a theme in his pattern of attraction.  While there's a difference between teenagers and pre-pubescent children, he's obviously not going to make movies about outright pedophilia.  You do what you can get away with.  He's a smart, cunning man.  The smart ones don't get caught.  Especially those with means & clout.  

This damning Vanity Fair article contains more detail about the sexual abuse of Dylan and the judge that found Allen's behavior "grossly inappropriate" and stated that "measures must be taken to protect her".  A babysitter was instructed by Farrow not to leave her alone for any amount of time with him as well.   And if you want the entirety of the case in a nutshell, definitely check out the 33-page custody ruling here.  The judge sounds very sober and unbiased.  I learned more than I ever wanted to know about these people in those pages.    

Mia's Role

I must make clear that Mia Farrow is not the victim here.  She appears to be a child hoarder (14 kids she had in all) who neglected her youngest daughter and ignored multiple signs of abuse in the name of keeping a man.  That is, until she felt threatened by Woody sleeping with her adult daughter who she likely considered an actual "threat" to her relationship with him.  Once it was Soon-Yi he was targeting, that was a bridge too far.  But as long as it was "just" Dylan?  She was willing to overlook it.  That's beyond vile & she had no business having custody of FOURTEEN children, adopted or otherwise.  

I can't imagine what all these kids went through when this was going down because it's clear that neither parent had boundaries in terms of involving the kids in the "affair drama".  And I fear Mia treated Soon-Yi as a perpetrator rather than a victim, at least to some degree.  There are also claims of horrific abuse by her son Moses Farrow on his blog that can be read here.  It sounds as if the treatment of the Asian kids was quite different than the white ones.  Whether that's a fabrication of Woody Allen's twisted mind or a reality, I have no way of knowing.  But I have to take Moses at his word.    

That's to say nothing of her recording and repeated questioning of Dylan about the molestation which clearly disturbed her (she straight up said "I don't want to talk about it" in one clip).  Mia only went to the trouble of doing all this AFTER the Soon-Yi pictures were found, though she suspected Woody of having an "inappropriate relationship" with Dylan as early as 1990 when she pushed him into therapy.  Another thing the documentary conveniently skims over is that Mia hired the sleazy perv Alan Dershowitz as her attorney in the custody case.  We obviously didn't know about his Epstein connections back then but the man has been knee-deep in scandal for decades.  The number of people who voiced concern to her about Allen's behavior with Dylan before she left and ultimately had him reported to police is unacceptable.  


Woody Allen appears to be a child molester who got away with it due to his wealth and stature in the Hollywood community.  This is someone who wrote a movie script every year for decades.  He's not only wealthy and famous but quite brilliant.  It also appears that he has connections in the Ivy League psychology community that he might've reached out to during his custody battle, though that's just my speculation.  The Yale-New Haven Report that exonerated him was suspiciously biased and "sanitized" as Judge Wilks refers to it.  

Just because he never (publicly) offended against anyone else on a movie set or elsewhere doesn't mean he's not a pedophile or child molester.  In fact, the majority of child molesters AREN'T true pedophiles but situational offenders.  That would explain why he's been able to carry on a "normal" adult relationship for all these years without (publicly) offending again.  Situational offenders are people with impulse control issues who prey on the vulnerable--be they children, the elderly, disabled or what have you.  They may have a preference for a certain vulnerable group but they shouldn't be trusted in general because they're narcissists who care only about satisfying their immediate desires.  Contrast this with pedophiles who are exclusively attracted to children rather than adults.  

Allen's son Moses who now defends him has cerebral palsy and always desperately wanted a father, which Woody used to his advantage during the custody battle.  Never mind that Woody openly admitted to "not bonding" with the Asian kids and only wanted a blonde, blue-eyed female child.  And oh well about that whole 'sleeping with Moses's sister and breaking up the whole family' thing.  It's easy to forgive when you're desperate for a father figure and forced to choose between two embittered parents and divided sibling groups.  His experience is genuine but he's one of only two of the children who remain on good terms with his father today.  That speaks volumes. 

The fact that Mia Farrow is a negligent nutter herself has no bearing on Allen's guilt or innocence; in fact, predators often seek out such people to prey upon.  Single women with multiple kids.  He gave her parts in multiple movies so she became dependent upon him not only for the romantic "fix" but also for her career as a 40-something woman in Hollywood.  And she likely turned a blind eye to his vile behavior for the same reason--not just to "keep a man" but to keep her employment and status.  It shouldn't be that way; women shouldn't be treated so poorly in any field, but that doesn't excuse her practically offering up her youngest daughter for this absolute monster for years.  Allen v. Farrow skims over her role as enabler to a great extent but I'll let you make your own judgment there.  

The only victims here are Dylan and her siblings.  All of them.  Several of the others have died prematurely of suicide, drug overdose or other causes.  One has to wonder what role this event and other traumatic childhood events in the care of these people might have played.  There are no winners here except maybe Woody Allen, who has gotten away with the most vile crimes--both legal and moral--while maintaining a lucrative and prestigious career into his 80's.  He got away with the sickest of acts and made off with a much younger wife plus another child (Moses) who still buys his bullshit.  Any poor or minority man who did those things would be rotting in prison, and rightfully so.  Black people have been pointing out the disparity in justice between Black and white offenders like Bill Cosby/R. Kelly vs. Polanski/Allen for years, not to say that the Black offenders deserve leniency but that the white ones deserve the same punishment for their crimes.  

But it's highly unlikely that, at his advanced age with the allegations so many years behind him, that Woody Allen will ever face actual justice in the legal system.  And that's criminal in itself.  

(In my research for this article, I've come across a number of obvious astroturfing/PR accounts by Woody Allen's legal team, such as "" (lol) and numerous Reddit accounts that exist only to defend him when his name pops up.  This is par for the course with wealthy child abusers like the Jonbenet Ramsey family, Michael Jackson's estate and others.  You have to be extra skeptical of everything you read online in these cases because there's a good chance it's coming from one of those paid shill accounts.  They scour the web constantly and post shallow "defenses" of these people the minute something containing their name pops up and all the comments tend to sound similar.  I half expect to get some comments from these trolls myself because I used the magical combo of words "Woody Allen" and "Dylan Farow scandal" or someshit).    

Soon-Yi and Woody with their 2 daughters 

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Sunday, March 7, 2021

Drugs in Concussion Recovery (Personal Account)

You may have noticed my absence of late.  I sustained a concussion on my way to the bathroom in the middle of the night, tripping and smashing my head on the nightstand.  Hard.  Saw stars, got sick to my stomach and blacked out for a hot second.  My neck took an awful jolt backward and I came within less than an inch of either breaking my nose or knocking out my teeth.  I called 9-1-1 & took an ambulance to the hospital where I was diagnosed with a "moderate concussion."  I've hit my head pretty hard as a kid but nothing like this.  Even Zofran via IV wasn't enough to stop the nausea.  I didn't know what hospital I was in or how I'd get home.  I legit thought the ambulance would take me back.  🧠🔨

My lingering symptoms have been mostly visual and auditory, with sounds being too loud and lights too bright, though there are also depth perception issues that are hard to describe.  Plus a general brain fog (difficulty multitasking & remembering things).  Thankfully no major problems with mood or sleep have emerged--in fact, I've had slightly less daytime fatigue since this happened & have been in an oddly positive mood.  But the fear of CTE-type issues has been looming large in my mind.  While CTE is by definition caused by "chronic" trauma to the brain, there have been cases of single concussions causing permanent personality changes (one example would be Michael Hutchence of INXS, who was punched and fell back on the concrete, after which he developed mood instability, loss of smell and taste, drug addiction and eventually killed himself).  There are others but you get the picture.  My intention isn't to frighten anybody as this is scary enough.  Personality changes after head trauma are possible but tend to happen mostly after more severe TBI.  

Needless to say, I've been reading everything I can about concussion recovery.  I'll spare you the boring details but the basics are as follows:  the 1st 48 hours should be free of any sort of stress or mental/physical exertion whatsoever.  Stay off LCD screens (TV, computer, phone) and chill in a dimly lit room, doing only the basics like getting dressed & making your bed.  After 48 hours has passed, gradually return to intellectual and physical activity that doesn't put you at risk for another head injury.  Things like walking, reading & writing for 20 minutes at a time.  This INESS pamphlet is a great guide for those interested in more details of concussion recovery.  There is a science to this and much of the old advice like "cocooning" for weeks is outdated/potentially detrimental.  Above all, if you suspect a concussion seek emergency medical treatment right away and follow up with a doctor.   

The Straight Dope

This IS a drug blog so let's get right to it:  Where do recreational drugs fit into this picture?  As a daily user of opioids and Benzedrex, stopping codeine cold turkey would mean withdrawal, which wouldn't be great for my overall health (mental or physical).  Stress is considered a setback during concussion recovery so I've continued using these substances, albeit in lower doses during the first 48 hours and beyond.  (To be sure they were safe, I asked my doctor if there were "any drugs or supplements" I should flat out avoid with a concussion.  He said no).  I have cut my use of both substances roughly in half, increasing them to my normal dose only as my body tells me it's okay.  I'm still not back at my full dose of either one at Day 5.

There are some common sense things to avoid or limit when it comes to substances.  In general, caffeine is advised against due to its dehydrating effects so I've been limiting it.  They also say to avoid alcohol and other GABA-type depressants like benzos or barbiturates due to their brain-fogging and clumsiness-inducing effects.  "They" being all the online guides I've come across.  Moderation and listening to your body are the most important thing.  Anything that increases your symptoms too much should be avoided.  

To my surprise, some drugs are thought to help with concussion recovery.  Two of these are cannabis and psilocybin.  CBD in particular has neuroprotective effects, so I was glad to have my 3:1 CBD-heavy gummies on hand as well as hemp flower.  Melatonin is also good, especially if you have sleep issues.  Sleep is vital after a concussion as it's when the brain "cleans up" the calcium that's flooded the cells due to the trauma.  Valerian and kava are also okay if you need something to help you sleep.  Just stay away from the Ambien or benzos if possible (but don't quit abruptly if you were habituated before as that can cause fatal withdrawals).       

Bottom line:  If you're not already a daily drug user, don't subject your brain to drug use during concussion recovery (with the exception of cannabis/CBD if it appeals to you & you're an adult over 18).  Just make sure your drugs are clean and come from a safe source, and take extra care not to injure your head again while impaired.  I wasn't high when my injury happened but can't rule out my earlier use of Bentyl that night--an anticholinergic drug with deliriant effects--from playing a role in what happened.  (Other factors being my pitch black bedroom and cluttered floor).  

Diet, Exercise, Sleep & Supplements

Exercise definitely makes me feel crisp and clear-headed immediately afterward but I'm taking it extra slow and avoiding anything that could possibly cause another fall.  Yoga and stationary walking for now are the bulk of it but I plan to do some jogging when the weather allows and I'm further into my recovery.  I downloaded an app that turns my computer screen progressively more dim/orange after sunset, which is thought to help get circadian rhythm on track after concussion (or anytime really).  Blue light emitted by phones, TVs and computer screens is known to mess with melatonin production so this has been helpful and I plan to keep it installed even after recovery.  It's called f.lux but for Chrome the extension is called "Screen Shader".  Meditation has also been a godsend, especially in the first 48 hours. has tons of guided meditations and relaxing scenes, some of which are free.  

I've been STARVING since this happened and I'm not at the point in my menstrual cycle where that should be happening so I Googled "concussion hunger" and found several articles about the increased need for glucose and protein after a head injury.  Turns out the brain's metabolism requires a lot more fuel to heal after a concussive blow, so I've been supplementing with Vital Proteins (a collagen/Vitamin C powder) as well as a prenatal multi-vitamin and extra Vitamin D.  My diet is trash so it's the best I can do.  They also recommend anti-inflammatory supplements like curcumin (turmeric) or ginger root but alas, my gastritis won't allow me to eat spicy things like that.  Magnesium is important for ridding the brain of excess calcium buildup--a feature of concussion. I take Natural Vitality Calm gummies (magnesium citrate).  A diet rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains and lean proteins is optimal for healing.  Just don't beat yourself up if you eat more than usual because it's necessary, as is drinking plenty of water.  


I'm writing this article at 3-5 days out from the injury.  I must admit it's a struggle to focus my vision and attention for more than 10 minutes at a time.  But this is normal so early in the process.  Other people will have varying degrees of difficulty with intellectual and physical tasks; the important thing is not to compare your journey to anyone else's.  Brain injuries are like fingerprints:  no two are alike.  There's no set deadline for recovery--just do your best each day to follow the guidelines set out by your healthcare team and keep a positive, realistic attitude.  (Or if you don't have a healthcare team like me, check out this helpful Youtube channel for guidance on at-home rehab).  

Having endured benzo withdrawal before, this brain injury has so far been an infinitely more pleasant experience.  I was already a migraine sufferer so headaches are nothing new, and as a kid I nearly broke my neck doing stupid tricks on the bed.  I feel like my poor brain has been through the ringer already and this was the last thing it needed, but I've kept my outlook positive by focusing on actionable steps I can take to recover.  I hope anyone going through the same thing will find something useful here.  

Concussion is considered a "mild TBI" and symptoms fully resolve for 70% of patients in the first month, with the remaining 30% having a variety of treatment options available.  It's scary but not hopeless.  The science is always evolving and advancing; nobody is doomed to suffer forever.  But being proactive is important as doctors don't always have all the answers.  The brain is the most complex organ in the body and is capable of amazing feats like the recovery shown in this TED Talk.  But again, you don't want to go it alone if you can help it, nor do you want to put off getting help for a concussion as time is of the essence.  Know the concussion symptoms and warning signs; if in doubt, seek help immediately.  

Update:  I'm now 1 week and 1 day out from the concussion and still can't remember the exact events leading up to the injury.  This bothers me because my memory is usually pretty photographic.  All I can piece together is a falling sensation followed by a BOOM where my face hit a hard surface & I was jolted "awake," though I know I wasn't "asleep" prior to the impact which is what's perplexing.  As stated above, the brain works in mysterious ways to protect us from traumatic memories and recover from unbelievable damage, but I can't shake the fear that I was having a seizure or some other kind of medical event that caused my fall in the first place.  (Highly unlikely as it looks like I tripped on a basket of medicine in my dark-ass room).  It would be nice to know for certain.  

Have you had a concussion or other type of TBI?  Sound off in the comments.  I'd love to hear what helped in your recovery.  

That Time I Tried: 4-HO-MET

I first tried 4-HO-MET around 2012 during the absolute pinnacle of the research chemical Golden Era (2010-2015).  It was the 2nd psychedelic...