Avoiding the Stress of the 2020 Election - A How-To & Why-To Guide

Election year is coming.  As 2019 stretches into 2020, we're already seeing signs of another bloody presidential race bearing down on us.  The signs are all there, including accusations of Russian interference at the Democratic debates when Tulsi Gabbard called Kamala Harris out for her hypocrisy.  (Yes, really).  As more & more ads flood the airwaves & social media gets bogged down with politically inflammatory memes, how is a person to stay sane & keep their blood pressure down? 

Even for the winning party, 2016 was a shit show.  Nobody enjoyed the mud-slinging & ad hominem attacks that turned friends & family against each other.  2020 is bound to be no better...maybe worse.  When both sides are accusing the other of cheating, there are no winners.  Now both parties have "evidence" for their claims:  either Trump has lived up to his promise to make America great or he hasn't (depending on who you ask), so there's more riding on this one.  At least in the minds of most voters.  Everyone is more riled up & the media is banking on our fears, hatred & rage drawing viewers to their broadcasts.... 

According to the NY Times, this Facebook ad was bought by "Russia" in 2016. 

...they're the only ones benefiting from this shitshow.  That's why I'm boycotting them in 2020.

Aside from the election, 2020 is also a leap year & the year of the Summer Olympics.  It marks 20 years since the turn of the millennium--"Y2K"--which was a defining time for an entire generation.  The next 20 years will bring self-driving cars, the automation of 30 million manual labor U.S. jobs & a whole lot of exciting medical & technological discoveries we can't possibly predict yet.  Hopefully the softening of a lot of draconian drug laws too.  It's an exciting time to be alive, yet we're choosing to focus on negative news while isolating ourselves in our social media echo chambers where nobody ever utters a dissenting opinion. 

This face = great for ratings due to divisiveness it causes.

How can we steel ourselves against the ugly rhetoric & brainwashing of political ads in the coming months?  Easy.  First, avoid watching the news on television.  Whether it's the local news, world news or CNN/FOX, you're guaranteed to see some dumbed-down partisan crap every time you tune in.  No matter how fair & balanced "thee news" appears, there's always some degree of bias & agenda in the stories they choose to run, which means their programming is not essential to your survival or well-being.  Secondly, limit your time on social media & unfollow/mute the people in your feed who post excessive political content.  That's REGARDLESS of whether you agree with their views or not.  Social media should be fun & lighthearted--a place for friends & family to connect & share their lives; not a platform to argue & get angry about the day's events.  Control what pops up in your feed & limit yourself to 1-2 hours per day max.  Better yet, disconnect altogether until the election has passed.  You can always reactivate your accounts later if you choose to. 

Finally, find something healthy to replace the news consumption & social media use you're cutting out.  Old habits will never die if not replaced by new ones.  Instead of watching the news, watch a documentary on reddit.com/r/documentaries, cultureunplugged.com, DailyMotion or HBO.  Better to learn about a deeply interesting person or subject than to waste your attention on bullshit "news" that doesn't affect you 99% of the time.  If you've logged out of social media completely, pick up pen + paper & write a letter to somebody you care about.  You might be surprised how much more personal & genuine it feels to send a hard copy vs. a text or email.  Or use that paper to draw & doodle instead.  Hell, start a blog.  Some San Pedro cactus or another psychedelic friend can help cleanse your psyche & provide creative inspiration.  If all else fails, go outside & enjoy the fresh air & changing of the seasons.  Look out your window daily & remind yourself that things really aren't as bad as the scary anchorman tells you. 

If you suffer from FOMO ("Fear Of Missing Out") on the day's events, remind yourself that the news stories are curated by people with an agenda.  The stories that AREN'T covered are often more poignant & important than those that ARE.  Don't delude yourself into believing you need Anderson Cooper or Tucker Carlson to feed it to you with a side of political spin.  Just think of all the Trump headlines in the past few years that didn't amount to a hill of beans:  some nonsense thing he uttered or tweeted, toilet paper stuck to his shoe, how great/awful somebody thinks he is.  THAT'S NOT NEWS.  Nor is it news when the same stories are regurgitated on a loop for days with little to no new information added.  Case in point:  mass shootings.  The way the media covers these tragedies likely plays a big role in their causation, as they tend to happen in clusters.  (See:  the Gilroy, El Paso & Dayton shootings).  Is news mimicking life or is life mimicking news?  It's well-known that copycat suicides happen when celebrities kill themselves & receive excess media coverage; why would mass murder be any different?

Welcome to the show.  Now with more idiots arguing.

While you're at it, don't tune into the stupid presidential debates either.  Televised debates are an embarrassment...a sham meant to bring in ratings while telling us nothing about candidates other than who has the wittiest 3-second soundbite.  Since when does that qualify someone to be president?  When you've got 7+ people on the stage vying for a chance to speak, nothing of any substance is going to get discussed anyway.  It's Jerry Springer Goes To D.C. basically.  Nevermind the exclusion of any candidate who's not a member of the 2-party duopoly thanks to the Commission on Presidential Debates, which is co-owned by the Republican & Democrat parties.  Jill Stein (Green Party) has been arrested several times now for attempting to attend the debates.  Some "democracy" we have here, innit?

Bottom line:  Stress levels & relationships will be healthier if you limit exposure to negative information which comes hard & heavy during election years.  If we all choose right now to not subject ourselves to it, politicians will have to up their game in the future to get our attention.  And we'll all be better off for it.  Just cast your vote & shuddup about it.   

((This has been a PSA from your friendly apathetic 3rd party voter.  Thank you for your time.))

The Simple Life - Frugality 101

America is plagued with working-class people living beyond their means--suffocating under the crushing weight of debt that makes their lives complicated & eventually steals their long-term dreams.  The stress of such a life far outweighs the benefits of acquiring lots of "stuff" in the short term.  It may feel amazing in the moment to max out those credit cards buying everything your heart desires, but eventually the chickens come home to roost.  Your credit score is ruined, homes are foreclosed on, wages are garnished & before you know it you're filing for bankruptcy just to be able to keep your own paycheck.

The solution to these problems is to simplify your life.  Frugal living.  Frugality simply means being sensible about money.   That's it.  Not cheap or tight, but budgeting your income--whatever it is--and putting a certain amount away as savings each month.  Many young (and old) people "spend money they don't have to buy things they don't need to impress people they don't like."  This is often a result of not being taught how to manage money at home or in school.  We're not born knowing how to handle money, after all.  But it's never too late to learn.  (Not to downplay the very real problems with the economy or late stage capitalism...wages not keeping pace with cost of living, lack of guaranteed sick leave/vacation time, offensive minimum wages & other uniquely American problems.  I'm speaking to readers who have a decent-paying job above poverty level & still can't make ends meet).

Seriously, stop it!

CHIPPING AWAY AT DEBT

First, let's talk about debt.  There are only two kinds that are acceptable for a person who's not living in total poverty:  medical debt & student loans.  Unless you get a full scholarship or have wealthy family paying for your tuition, you should absolutely go to a school you can afford.  Some schools on the East Coast like NYU & Drexel have ungodly high tuition that is most certainly out of proportion to any benefit attending these schools will bring if you're taking out loans to attend.  Choosing a regional or Midwest university can ensure a smaller class size & more interaction with department heads while also cutting back on your cost of living and tuition.  Most employers don't care where you graduated or even what your degree is IN, so long as you have one.  That's the reality.  There are some exceptions of course, but they're few & far between.  There are work-study programs that will help you pay for the cost of living on campus at various schools.

That brings us to the "unacceptable" type of debt:  the credit card variety.

With their promises of endless "rewards," it's easy to get lured into getting a credit card & swiping it any time you see something shiny while shopping...even if you don't have the money for it.  Then you max that one out & get another.  You'll just pay it off later, right?  Wrong.  Interest piles up & before you know it, you've got a real problem on your hands.  Your credit score is dinged & you owe more than you earn in a month on multiple cards.  This is frighteningly common among millennials & Gen X'ers & it reflects poor critical thinking as well as major materialism.

Message:  Kids are expensive

If you're considering getting a credit card (especially in your 20's), I urge you to take a step back & seriously consider your options first.  There's a good chance you'll end up using the card to buy "wants" rather than "needs," in which case you should work on developing gratitude & getting enjoyment from for non-materialistic things.  This requires work & isn't easy.  It might genuinely require therapy depending on how severe your shopping habit is.

Retail addiction is a legitimate problem for a lot of people who feel the need to shop to quell anxiety, fill a void or keep up with the Joneses (or the Kardashians).  There's a short-lived dopamine rush that comes from making a purchase that can be as addictive as gambling, sex or junk food.  But that rush wears off as soon as you get home with the item, then you're back to Square 1:  you still have all the same problems plus less money in the bank.  You'll have a better chance of quitting this behavior if you replace it with healthy coping skills like those gained in therapy.  Want a quick rush of endorphins in the meantime?  Go for a jog at sunset.  It's free & will help relieve stress in a healthy way.  If your neighborhood or weather aren't conducive to jogging, put on some tunes & dance it out indoors for 20-30 minutes.


WANTS vs. NEEDS

Know the difference.

Emergencies are a certainty in life; not a "what if".  At some point your car is going to break down; you are going to get sick & run up a hospital bill; your bank will make a mistake or some other unforeseen event will happen... Even if you can't predict exactly what the emergency will be, rest assured there will be one.  And you'd better have money on hand to cover it when it does.

Learning to distinguish between wants & needs is the first step toward frugal living.  "Wants" should be foregone altogether or bought at reduced prices while you should invest more in genuine "needs."  After your monthly expenses are covered--rent or mortgage, bills, food, gas & other necessities--you should put as much of the leftover money as you can in savings.

A savings account is ideal because it draws interest on your money while it sits there, but you can also stash cash in a safe or lock box if you prefer.  The important thing is not to blow all the money you earn every month on things you don't need because at some point you WILL need something (probably expensive) & the money will not be there.  That's how unnecessary debt accumulates--when you can't afford to pay for "needs" because you've already blown your money on "wants".  Oh, and if there is a big "want" item that you really desire, it's fine to set some extra money aside for it over time or pick up more hours at work to buy it as long as you don't charge it or overspend.

The solution to becoming financially secure or even wealthy is to similar to the formula for losing weight, except in reverse.  With weight loss, you must burn more calories than you ingest.  With money, you must save more than you burn each month...at least on those pesky non-necessity "want" items. 


WHERE TO SAVE

Focus on investing your money in things that gain or maintain value rather than losing it.  No matter how fancy your car is, it starts losing value as soon as you drive it off the lot.  Better to buy a "lightly used" car that's in good shape than a brand new one with all the bells & whistles that costs an arm & leg.  The same can apply to clothes.  Some of the people who live beyond their means can be found on weekends donating their never-worn brand name clothes to Goodwill because they overestimated what they could afford at Bloomingdale's (lol).  Ditto for furniture & home decor.  It's fine to buy certain things brand new, such as undergarments, but many other items are as good as new from second-hand stores.  Antique & thrift stores are another great resource for decorating your space frugally.

2nd-hand clothes can save you a bundle!

Eating out daily is a small thing that can blow up your wallet & your waistline in no time.  If you're addicted to fast food or Starbucks, start weaning yourself off gradually until you're only going once a week as a treat (preferably for being a responsible spender).  If you must have coffee or your other faves, MAKE them at home!  Buy all your ingredients at the grocery store on your days off & pack customized lunches just the way you like them.

OTC medications like Flonase, Afrin & sleep aids can be bought on eBay for cheaper than store prices.  Just be sure to check the seal & expiration date before buying.  Generic versions of OTC medications at Wal-Mart & other retailers are cheaper & just as effective as name brands.  Look up the active ingredient in the med you're taking & search for it in the store or online.  (i.e. - Instead of "Unisom," look for "doxylamine succinate").

Simple habits like turning off lights when you leave a room or unplugging your electronics when you go to bed can save money over time, both in electric costs & wear & tear on your appliances.   


WHERE TO SPLURGE

Some things are cheaper in the long run if you spend a little extra to begin with.  The trick is knowing what they are.  Shoes are one example of something you should research & spend more on.  I'm talking about your main pair you wear frequently for work or other tasks.  It's cheaper long-term to buy one quality pair than to buy a cheaper pair that needs to be replaced 2-3x in a year.  Choose a sturdy brand that is comfortable & a neutral color to get the most mileage out of them.

Spend more for a better mattress; rest easy

A comfortable & durable mattress is another must.  No one can't function with back pain & insomnia.  Trading Starbucks for homemade coffee like we talked about above?  Buy a high-quality coffeemaker & thermos that are durable & make the yummiest coffee.  (A good thermos is also handy if you drink tea or other beverages on the go).  If you live somewhere humid, invest in a dehumidifier for your bathroom, basement & other damp spaces to prevent mold & the resulting problems.  Repairing the structural damage from mold can be extremely expensive, as can the health issues arising from living with these fungi.  Quality car tires are another vital thing to invest in if yours go flat.  The savings from skimping on tires can put your safety at risk.  Not worth it.

If you take vitamin or herbal supplements, do your research & choose a brand free of heavy metals & other contaminants.  Unlike medications, supplements are not regulated by the FDA so not all brands are created equal.  Choose brands that offer third-party lab test results when possible so you know you're getting what's listed on the label.  A Google search like "Nature Valley Vitamin D purity" can be pretty revealing.  Expensive doesn't necessarily equal better, but it can be one indicator of quality.  If you live in a legal weed state, grow your own.  This will save you a ton of money if you don't blow too much on lighting & other supplies.  (Link 2 my article)

Got some extra "fun" money to spend?  Studies show that vacations, concerts & other 'experiences' make people happier overall than buying 'possessions'.


CONCLUSION

Delayed gratification is the central theme of frugal living.  You don't have to deny yourself life's little pleasures on account of saving money.  If you can work hard & save for something you want, you can have it without feeling guilty.  But swiping a card & spending imaginary money for every pretty thing you see is not compatible with an anxiety-free lifestyle.  When it catches up to you, the financial woes will make your life a living hell, taking away your independence & freedom so you *can't* have nice things no matter how hard you work.  Better to practice self-control now than to have it imposed on you by the banks & credit card companies later.  Financial problems due to debt & overspending ruin relationships, contribute to stress-related health conditions like heart disease & have even driven some to suicide.  Don't paint yourself into that corner.

[Review] - CBDistillery: Strawberry Lemonade CBD Pen (200mg)

Vendor:  CBDistillery
Location:  Colorado, US
Items:  CBD Oils, salves, vapes.
Rating:  3.9 of 5 stars
Website:  www.thecbdistillery.com

Strawberry Lemonade vape pen (200mg CBD)

My mom was in need of a vape cartridge refill for her CBD vape, so I decided to branch out & try a vendor I hadn't tried before:  CBDistillery.  They had more vape cartridges & pens to choose from than most of my go-to sites & the price was...decent.  She settled on the Strawberry Lemonade CBD disposable pen for $25 ($34 including tax & shipping).  $8 for shipping with no cheaper options is excessive, especially for such a small order.  But I wanted to buy from a well-known vendor & not spend all day shopping around. 

The website says the vape pens contain 200mg of CBD in a solution of Triethyl Citrate (TEC), natural flavors & terpenes.  No PG, VG or MCT, and they claim the TEC is Generally Recognized As Safe (GRAS) by the FDA.  The lab report shows that it's free of THC but doesn't go into much detail beyond that, claiming that the product is "free from visible mold, mildew & foreign matter."  Hmmm.

After reading some troubling reviews on Facebook, I'm feeling anxious about this order but decide to wait it out & see.  A few reviewers claim that CBDistillery products were found to contain excessive amounts of pesticides in an NBC NY report which is obviously not cool.  Even less cool:  some people apparently had excessive charges to their debit cards & never received their orders.  How do companies get away with this shit while running a high-profile business?  I did a Google search on the pesticide issue and, sure enough, up popped the aforementioned NBC news story.  Wow.  Lazarus Naturals, another trusted CBD vendor, tested high in lead in this report too.  The takeaway message:  make sure your CBD vendor shows lab reports that include results for pesticides, heavy metals & residual solvents...not just the absence of THC.

Lab only tests for THC: the bare minimum required by law.

Anyway, we received our pen 4 days after ordering.  The flavor is true to the description but I'm not personally a fan.  (My mom loved it though).  The hit was very smooth & the pen hits well.  They kindly threw in a free pair of CBDistillery sunglasses for no charge.  Very nice touch.  As long as the pen doesn't run out of power or start leaking, I don't foresee any problems with it.  My mom is happy so I'm happy.

Still, I can't get the nagging worry about pesticides out of my head which is a shame.  CBD is supposed to be a health tonic; not something that stresses your body more.  Additionally, hemp doesn't need to be grown with pesticides like tobacco & some other crops!  So the inclusion of it in a product like this is just egregious.  Unless I find a company that tests for all three categories of toxins I'll likely stick to growing my own hemp flower. 

I'm giving this order a 3.9 of 5 stars.  While my mom is impressed, the price for 200mg of CBD is kinda high, the shipping took longer than I'm used to & the pesticide thing has me feeling wary.  The free sunglasses were cool though. 

"Where There's Smoke..." The Wrongful Execution of Todd Willingham

Stacy & Todd with twin daughters

If you're familiar with True Crime or related genres, you've probably heard of Cameron Todd Willingham--the man wrongfully executed in Texas for a crime he didn't commit.  That crime was the burning of a house with his three children inside.  Several films have been made about the case, but I'd like to delve a bit deeper into who Todd was & the dynamics of the small Texas town he was convicted in.

Cameron Todd Willingham was born in Ardmore, Oklahoma in 1968.  He grew up poor & troubled in his rural community, picking up a paint-huffing habit at the painfully young age of 11.  His hobbies included shoplifting & sending younger kids to commit robberies, for which he would reward them with drugs.  Todd smoked lots of pot as a teen & loved heavy metal bands like Iron Maiden & Led Zeppelin.  He was once arrested for attempting to steal a car as a juvenile & spent his 18th birthday in jail.  He eventually moved to Corsicana, Texas, where he lived with his girlfriend Stacy.  They wound up having 3 children in quick succession--a 2-year old & twin girls.

Todd's ("Satanic") Iron Maiden poster

Todd was an attentive stay-at-home father while Stacy worked to support the family.  Like many young working-class parents, they were stressed out with 3 kids to care for which lead to many arguments.  Things only got worse over time.  Todd began verbally abusing & beating Stacy almost daily.  He was known around town as a womanizer & drinker who was generally disliked.  He cheated on Stacy with an older neighbor who had kids his own age.  Despite this, Todd loved his kids & never showed any violence toward them.  He proposed to Stacy only 3 months before the fateful fire.

Amber, Karmon & Kameron perished in the fire

Stacy initially stood by Todd after the fire despite divorcing him & moving on with another man.  She never visited him on death row yet insisted he was innocent.  Stacy was a nervous woman with low self-esteem; a victim of domestic violence.  Her mother had been killed by an abusive man when she was younger so she undoubtedly had skewed ideas of what a healthy relationship should look like.  Despite her own poor treatment by Todd, she remained adamant that he would never hurt his kids...at least in the beginning.

Detectives & jury members used Todd & Stacy's abusive relationship to form a theory on what happened with the fire, from which they worked backward to deduce his guilt.  They also used Todd's behavior after the fact to imply guilt when it's been shown repeatedly that people grieve differently & such behavior cannot be used to determine innocence or guilt.  (Darlie Routier of Rowlett, TX, was similarly convicted for the infamous "Silly String tape" in which she's smiling & chewing gum at her kids' graves shortly after their murders).  Todd was seen drinking & playing darts at the local bar shortly after the fire, which townspeople took to mean he was guilty.  Perhaps he was in shock, drinking his pain away or simply putting on a brave face in public only to go home & cry himself to sleep.  One can never truly know what goes on in another person's head.  Grief is not always logical & doesn't look like it does in movies.


The Case

"A fire does not lie."  That line was repeated by the prosecution throughout the case as if it were the gospel.  Unfortunately it was later debunked when it was proven that fire investigation is not an exact science.  In fact it's not a 'science' at all but more akin to a pseudoscience like astrology.  In addition, detectives claimed that Willingham used accelerants like charcoal lighter fluid to draw a pentagram on the floor before lighting it on fire, which was an outright lie.  They also cited the posters on his wall when making the determination that he was a 'sociopath'.  The posters contained heavy metal logos mistaken for Satanic imagery.  This hearkens back to the Satanic Panic of the late 20th Century that resulted in many innocent people losing their freedom, from daycare workers to "goth" kids like the West Memphis Three.  The psych professional that "diagnosed" him a sociopath had never evaluated nor even met Willingham.  Perhaps he was a psychic instead of a psychologist?  🤔

One of the main nails in the coffin against Willingham was the prosecutor's witness: an informant named Johnny Webb.  Webb claimed Willingham had confessed to killing his kids while spending the night in a cell with him.  As informants are wont to do, he testified for his own benefit at the District Attorney's urging.  Webb later wrote a letter recanting his confession & stating it was false...and then wrote a second letter recanting the recantation.  Now he claims not to remember the entire incident.  Not exactly the most reliable witness, eh?  (The Innocence Project has since corroborated Webb's account that the DA offered him a special deal if he testified against Willingham).  So his entire sworn testimony was indeed a lie.

Governor Rick Perry & his questionable executions

Texas is a leading death penalty state.  They tout their high number of executions as a point of pride in elections & political debates.  They've killed a total of 561 inmates since 1976--more than 1/3rd of the entire national total.  They were the first state to test out lethal injection in the '80s & have carried out a number of controversial executions on inmates suspected to be innocent, such as Johnny Frank Garrett of Amarillo.  (Here's a gripping documentary on his story).  Governor Rick Perry (R) was in office when Todd Willingham was executed & had a chance to review the revised evidence in his case & grant a 30-day stay of execution.  Somehow, he saw fit to deny him the measly 30 days & proceed with the killing despite all the new information that had come to light about arson science.

The fact that Willingham was a poor, ignorant nobody from the sticks with no family to help him pay for legal fees & other costs didn't help matters.  All too often, your chances of winning a case depend on your ability to afford bail, adequate representation & court costs.  Sometimes skin tone & who you know also factor in.  Willingham was white but didn't happen to know anyone in high places so he was essentially fucked.  When pushed on the issue, Governor Perry argued that Willingham's last words were an "obscenity-laced diatribe" and that proved he was a "bad man".  Might you be a little miffed if you were being killed for something you didn't do, Mr. Perry?


Conclusion

While Todd Willingham was undoubtedly a low-life in many ways--a petty criminal who beat his wife, cheated on her, exposed his kids to an abusive environment & lacked ambition, that doesn't take away his right to a fair trial.  He absolutely belonged behind bars for battering Stacy, particularly while she was pregnant.  But that's a very different sentence than Murder One with the death penalty.  Perhaps karma was making its way back around to him when Stacy went to the press a few days before his execution claiming he'd confessed to killing their kids.  Maybe it was petty revenge or something else entirely.  Either way, she got a front-row seat to his execution on February 17, 2004 & now firmly maintains that he IS guilty as charged.  Among his last words: "I hope you rot in hell, bitch; I hope you fucking rot in hell, bitch. You bitch; I hope you fucking rot, cunt."  See below.

Willingham's last words

I can forgive the jurors & townspeople for drawing improper conclusions about the case.  Most of them were no more educated about forensics than Willingham or his ilk.  But detectives, judges, police, prosecutors, politicians & District Attorneys should be held to a higher standard than laypeople as they wield much more power.  With power comes responsibility--a responsibility to be educated in the field in which you work.  To have basic empathy for the people you serve.  To make thoughtful, evidence-based decisions with the input of others in a cooperative manner.  Voters have a responsibility to make informed decisions about who they put in power too, as their votes directly affect cases like these.  People tend to side with the state & assume all inmates are guilty until this happens to them or someone they love.  Only then do they see how fragile the justice system truly can be.  But by then it's too late.

As for me, I support the death penalty only in extreme cases of violence where there's no question about guilt.  But the following changes need to be made immediately if we are to have a humane justice system:

1.)  If there's ANY doubt about an inmate's guilt, the execution should not go forward.  You can always kill a person later but you can't un-kill them.

2.)  If the proper drugs cannot be obtained to ensure a quick, painless death, the execution should not proceed.  We know how to bring about death in a timely & humane manner; we do it for animals & assisted suicide patients all the time.  Lack of access to the drugs that make this possible is the state's problem--not the inmate's.  Torture & human experimentation are not acceptable in a developed nation.  We are not Nazis.  The death penalty must be carried out in a sterile, dispassionate manner or not at all.

3.)  An inmate's wealth or lack of it must play no role in their sentencing, nor can their race or the race of their victims.  A disproportionate number of poor people & minorities sit on death row, and Blacks who kill whites are far more likely to receive the death penalty than whites who kill Blacks.  Everyone must receive the best possible defense & access to materials that will help them in their appeals.  No special leniency for law enforcement, government officials or others in positions of power.  Equal sentences for equal crimes.

4.)  Abolish solitary confinement & end prison rape & abuse now.  Loss of freedom and--in the case of capital punishment--loss of life are the punishment.  It's not the warden or C.O.'s place to impose additional suffering on inmates.  They get paid to keep inmates safe.  Failure to do so should result in job loss & criminal charges if they are directly involved in encouraging or engaging in abusive behavior.  Again, torture is not acceptable under any circumstance.

5.)  If the state rushes to execute someone while there's still doubt about the evidence, whoever makes that decision should face criminal charges if the person is later found not guilty.  The stakes are too high for there to be no consequences when an innocent person is killed.  If the state kills even one innocent person, it's just as bad as any common murderer.     

If you support the death penalty, you must also denounce the sloppy, vengeful application of it or you risk losing it altogether.  The world is watching.  Putting a psychopathic killer to death should involve no more emotion than putting down an aggressive dog that's attacked someone; the goal is to eliminate the threat & protect society.  Not to torture the animal & make a show of it.  No matter how angry their crimes make you feel, your feelings have no place in the justice system.  Save it for your therapist or diary.

It's natural to want "bad people" to suffer the same fate they imposed on others--what's not okay is to actually impose torture on said people.  There are innocent people caught up in the system all the way to the execution chambers like Todd Willingham, which is one of many reasons we must treat all inmates with basic dignity.  Even if someone is guilty, it's not our place to impose beatings, verbal abuse, rape, malnutrition & total isolation on them.  Let their own minds do the torturing.  Prison is already designed to punish.  And there's no bigger price than paying with your life via capital punishment.

How do you feel about the Willingham case & the death penalty in general?  Sound off in the comments!

Tupac Died Over a Chain :(

We can talk conspiracy theories all day.  I've dug deep into all of them, particularly the "2Pac escaped to Cuba to live with his aunt Assata" theory.  At one time I fully believed he would come back in 2003: seven years after his death in '96.  All signs seemed to point to it.  The 7's in his last album, the hidden 7's in Gridlock'd...the many things that added up to seven surrounding his day/time of death.
And then 2003 came & went and the only thing we got was Tupac: Resurrection.  The movie.  It all felt like a cruel joke by a clever advertising team who cooked up the conspiracy stuff to sell records.  Looking back, I now see that all the "7" stuff was a coincidence, much like the 9/11 coincidences that were noticed after the fact.  Seriously, click on those links & compare the two.

Tupac's murder remains unsolved...officially.  In reality Compton PD had "solved" it within weeks while Vegas cops just seemed uninterested.  When you get right down to it, the most likely scenario is that Pac was murdered by the same guy he was seen stomping in the lobby of the MGM hours earlier: Orlando Anderson.  If not THAT guy, then one of his friends.  This type of gang retaliation was utterly common at that time--a period when politicians warned of "superpredators" & a crime wave unlike anything we'd seen before.  (Turns out violent crime peaked in the mid-90s & has declined ever since, but 2Pac's death happened in one of the most violent years in American history).

1st Lady Clinton warns of "superpredators" in '90s

The reason 2Pac was attacking Orlando Anderson--Southside Crip?  A chain.  A Death Row necklace that had been stolen from one of Suge Knight's gang buddies in a mall parking lot several months prior.  Orlando had it, or one that looked like it, and 2Pac lead the charge kicking his ass after the Mike Tyson fight while amped up on testosterone & adrenaline.  There's no doubt that Suge & his thugs got 2Pac pumped up & urged him to behave like a part of their gang (The MOB Piru Bloods), but ultimately he was his own man & made the choice to attack a known gangster in a public place.

Southside Crip Orlando "Baby Lane" Anderson

2Pac himself was no gangster.  He was a rapper, actor, poet & Shakespeare enthusiast who studied ballet in his artsy high school.  His first role in a major motion picture, Juice, was that of a thuggish villain.  He was a natural...too good at playing the bad guy.  After that role he never seemed to return to reality.  His mom attributes his political rage to being battered by police for jaywalking, an incident during which he sustained head injuries.  Her own words were that it "changed him forever".  Well, yeah.  We now know that concussions & even sub-concussive head injuries can cause personality changes that often get worse with age.  While the incident likely triggered a distrust of authority, it probably also contributed to 2Pac's erratic moods, impulsive behaviors & poor decision making...the same type that got him killed.  Afeni likely didn't realize just how accurate her statement was at the time.

Tupac was a product of his time and also a spokesperson for it.  Generation X is known as the "slacker generation" full of cynical burnouts & dropouts who attempted to change the world through subversion.  The punk rockers, gangster rappers, computer hackers, latchkey kids & DIY Indie underground.  These were the children of divorce, crack cocaine & MTV.  Born out of the "free love" movement of the 1960s & straight into a world stricken by AIDS, Gen X seemed to have just missed the psychedelic, revolutionary orgy of the 20th Century & walked in on a Cold War world of greed & violence.  2Pac was right at home among his creative peers Kurt Cobain, Eazy-E, Madonna (whom he dated briefly), Courtney Love, Prince & Carrie Fisher...all members of Gen X royalty.  Many of whom also died tragically young.

Classically trained ballet dancer

Shakur was the child of a crack-addicted Black Panther mother who himself smoked weed constantly & drank frequently.  He was likely bipolar: in one music video there's a screen shot of a prescription bottle with his name on it & the word "Compazine" on the label.  That's an older antipsychotic drug that was used to treat mood swings in bipolar patients.  His sister is also diagnosed bipolar.  His dual personalities were apparent in his music & private life, but he chalked it up to being a Gemini--the "twins" in the Zodiac chart.  On the one hand, he could be warm & empathetic, writing songs like "Keep Ya Head Up" & "Changes" that championed single mothers & made touching social commentary.  On the other, he could spit at TV cameras, cuss a blue streak & write raps about prison rape & murdering his enemies.  Brave journalists & politicians dared to call him a hypocrite, which probably pissed him off more than anything.  He took everything 100% personally, beefing with everyone from C. Delores Tucker & Bob Dole to The Fugees, Wendy Williams & De La Soul.

If only 2Pac could've stayed focused on his original goal of furthering the Panthers' mission of Black empowerment & self-determination things would've been different.  He had success uniting gangs & drafting ground rules for doing business in the neighborhood in a responsible way.  No matter how 'gangster' or 'thuggish' he appeared on the outside, these were merely facades that allowed him to appeal to certain segments of Black society so he could implement his political & social ideals.  It's this pushing of unity & peace that put him in the sights of the FBI along with others throughout history who have tried to do the same (Fred Hampton, Malcolm X, MLK).  The last thing the government wants is "the rise of a Black messiah".  <--- Their words.  If this sounds like paranoid drivel, please familiarize yourself with COINTELPRO & Hoover's war on the American Left.  Much of Tupac's extended family is rotting in prison to this day or living in exile due to their political affiliation with Black power or Socialist groups.  He frequently name-dropped them in his songs.



But back to Tupac.  He got caught up in the sideshow...the thug life facade.  And it cost him his life.  Stomping out other Black men was not part of the game plan.  Getting wrapped up in a Coastal war with a fellow rapper & Black record label owner did nothing to further the goals of liberation, justice or Black empowerment.  Rather than beefing with each other, Pac & Big should've let their pimpish CEOs duke it out like grown men.  It was THEIR beef anyway.  The world would be a much better place if Puffy & Suge had been hit in those cars & Biggie & 2Pac would've survived to talk about it.  Of that I'm sure.

But even if 2Pac hadn't died on September 13th, 1996, would he still be alive today?  Not at the rate he was going.  Being shot & going to prison really did a number on his sanity.  The paranoia grew to borderline schizophrenic levels behind bars, which is understandable considering it was a maximum security prison & he witnessed someone get killed inside (among other horrific things).  We'll probably never know the full extent of how much he was harassed & tortured by the guards or even if government agents planted the "Biggie set you up" stuff to start an East Coast/West Coast war.  They did just that in the '60s & '70s with the Black Panthers & other Black nationalist groups like the Black Guerilla Army or other factions of the Panther Party.  There are certainly similarities between the rumors, insinuations & insults that created both the '60s & '90s wars.  Whatever the case, 2Pac came out of prison raging mad & convinced that Biggie & Puff knew he was going to be shot & failed to warn him.  He was on a warpath from then until his death, with the political and activist stuff taking a back seat to revenge & gangster-ism.

Was the East-West hip hop war an FBI creation?

It's clear from a psychological standpoint that Tupac was passively suicidal in his final years.  He certainly planned for his death by recording more posthumously released music than his entire discography consisted of while alive.  Maybe because he was going to bring the end upon himself with his reckless living one way or another.  He mentions suicide repeatedly in his songs, begging God to "send me to Hell 'cause I ain't begging for my life" in Troublesome '96.  And Only Fear of Death is basically one long diatribe on suicidal depression & paranoia.  Yet these desperate cries went unheeded in part because he was a Black man struggling with mental illness in America--one of the most under-served demographics in the mental health field.  Ultimately he couldn't bring himself to end it but triggered the shot that would take his life.  There's nothing heroic or 'gangster' about that.

Tupac:  A product of his generation?

He cheated an entire generation out of a thought leader & creative powerhouse, as did the trashy people he was surrounded by.  Music quality in general went down the tubes around this time due to the Telecommunications Act of 1996 & the rest is history.  He never got to start his political party, run for office or get his own record label "Euphanasia" off the ground.  And that's a shame.  You can blame Suge Knight, Ayanna Jackson, Bad Boy Records, the FBI or whoever you like, but at the end of the day they didn't force Tupac to attack a gang member.  That was all him.         

If it makes you feel better to believe he's on an island in the middle of the ocean somewhere, so be it.  But like with Eazy-E's death from AIDS & the surrounding conspiracy nonsense, you'll be missing an important lesson.  Tupac's killer was murdered in a parking lot in 1998 over an unrelated matter, thus completing the circle of karma & pointless death. 

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[Review] - Caleb's Concentrates: Red Maeng Da & Red Bali Kratom

Vendor:  Caleb's Concentrates
Location:  Jacksonville, FL
Items:  Kratom powder, extracts, enhanced blends.
Rating:  4.9 of 5 stars
Website:  www.calebsconcentrates.com

Back when online kratom vending was at its peak, Caleb was a favorite among Redditors.  His many unique & customized extracts earned him a special place in the hearts of kratom consumers where he remains today for many.  And then the Great Payment Method Attack on kratom vendors happened & I wasn't able to order from him for a few years until I acquired a debit card. 

Back in the day I was more impressed with his concentrates than his plain leaf, though that's changed dramatically.  Now his leaf has moved to 1st place among all my kratom sources in terms of quality, even inching out VLNT in sheer mg for mg potency.  I ordered his only 2 red strains:  Maeng Da & Bali in 250g amounts when I got paid & they were so good I had to pick up more a couple weeks later.  I got 500g split two ways for $60 (including shipping) & the 2nd order of 250g split two ways was $35.  Very fair prices. 

Caleb's is the only kratom that actually makes me itch all over, which is a big deal as a daily user of several years.  Both the MD & Bali are deeply warming & relaxing in their own unique ways...the powders' colors are definitely different under light so you can tell he's not passing off the same strain as two different ones like some shady vendors have been known to do.  It only takes a small dose of each to achieve desired effects.  Reminds me of Canopy's leaf at the height of his popularity.

250g & 125g packs

I haven't tried any of his other strains, as I don't do greens or whites except in minute doses.  And extracts are reserved for when I'm having severe ulcer or gastritis flare ups & can't ingest leaf.  But his red-vein plain leaf is good to go.  Shipping is always prompt & discreet and I've never had any fraudulent charges on my card.  The only drawback is I wish he had a few more reds to choose from, but I really can't complain because the ones he has are so damn good.  If you're into extracts, definitely check out his CO2 Supercritical & Pure Alkaloid (Gold) Extracts.  He also has enhanced leaf blends, capsules & sample packs.

The stuff I've got is plain leaf, but I can't help but wonder if some extract or other "enhancement" hasn't found its way into the bag.  It's just so potent.  But I trust Caleb to label his products honestly, and extracts always make me have horrid withdrawals almost instantly upon ingesting them which this leaf definitely does NOT do.  The smell is like cherry-scented Play-Doh, which I always associate with the best quality leaf.  This is the best time of year to order, for sure.  I'm stocking up now because everything I bought last Winter was weak sauce. 

Bottle of Caleb's Red Bali tea

I give this batch of Caleb's Concentrates Red Maeng Da & Bali a 4.9 of 5 stars for potency, shipping time & overall effectiveness/quality.  While it's cheaper to order in bulk from overseas, Caleb is an awesome domestic option when you need something reliably potent & fast.  He's always been friendly too, which is refreshing.  You can tell he really cares about the product he sells & is very knowledgeable about the various extraction processes. 

Darby Crash - The 5-Year Plan That Backfired

If you've never seen The Decline of Western Civilization Part 1, please do yourself a favor & go watch it now.  It's full of trashed punk rockers in their native habitat during the height of the Hardcore/Punk craze of the late '70s, but one wasted star shines brighter than the rest:  Darby Crash.  His performance is both funny & disturbing--he stumbles around the stage demanding more 'free beer' & drawing on his face with a magic marker while clearly fucked up on multiple classes of narcotics.  One immediately feels for the club owner who has to clean up after him.

Clip from The Decline of Western Civilization

My first thought upon seeing him was, "No way this dude is still living."  And I was right.  Mr. Crash died not long after the film was finished on December 7th, 1980...one day before John Lennon's assassination.  He was not especially poetic or talented as a musician; to say otherwise would be dishonest.  But he did have heart.  And a lot of problems.

Darby Crash (aka Jan Beahm) was born in Venice, CA & raised by a single mother with an alcohol problem who entertained a number of unstable suitors, some of whom were violent.  Darby witnessed his older brother die of an overdose as a child as well as seeing one of his mom's boyfriends pass away.  To put it mildly, his childhood was rough.  In high school he attended a Scientology-based program which he didn't take too seriously.  About this time he & friend 'Pat Smear' began using LSD & developed a small cult of followers who also took the drug, which was forbidden in Scientology.  They were accused of brainwashing their peers & expelled from the school, predictably.  Not long after their dismissal they formed punk rock band The Germs.

Darby in his element

What makes Crash unique was his "5-year plan" for success.  This consisted of a plan to form a band, record & perform music furiously, gain a following & then commit suicide after 5 years to die a legend.  Today we'd call this 'severe mental illness' but from a career perspective nothing is more effective than dying young in the entertainment business.  If one is suicidal anyway, this might seem like a reasonable way to go.  He certainly did use those years to the best of his ability, manically performing & writing music while abusing every drug he could get his hands on.

Wasted.

Not much is known about his sex life (or if he even had one), but it's widely accepted that Darby was gay.  To what extent this contributed to his depressed mental state it's not known, but homosexuality was not welcome in the late '70s/early '80s punk scene & was openly mocked by bands like Fear.  Crash seemed to substitute drugs for love; by the end he had a serious heroin addiction and was known to inject speed & other drugs.  His behavior was aggravated by the drugs & his performance only got more rowdy, causing the band to get kicked out of every club in L.A.  By the time The Decline of Western Civilization was filmed, The Germs had to rent a room to film their scene in.  They had also taken to performing under the moniker "Germs Incognito" or G.I. so as to trick club owners.

With a mohawk

On December 3rd they played their final show as The Germs with all the original members.  On the 7th Darby died of an intentional heroin overdose alongside friend Casey Cola, who had planned to kill herself as well but survived.  As luck would have it, Darby's death was largely overshadowed by the murder of John Lennon the following day, which just goes to show you can only plan your own posthumous legacy to a point.

So what IS the legacy of Darby Crash?  He was a troubled young musician who died after a period of hard living...one of many.  It can be hard to see the individuality in dead rock stars when so many die in the same pathetic way, but each is an individual with their own unique story of pain & triumph that should be remembered.  Darby saw too much death too young & lacked a strong support system in his adult life outside his band mates.  He didn't feel comfortable being himself & never found anyone to share his life with sexually or romantically, which can also take a toll.  It's easy to blame drugs but in most cases they're the symptom rather than the primary problem.  He was passively suicidal long before he actively killed himself which is not uncommon among addicts.  Perhaps the saddest thing is none of his friends believed he was serious about his 5-year plan until it was too late.  This highlights the importance of taking ALL suicide threats seriously.

While The Germs were largely considered a "joke band," they did have some talent & ambition:  guitarist Pat Smear went on to play in Nirvana & The Foo Fighters.  And Darby himself probably would've made good on his few promising moments if only he'd buckled down & focused more on the music & less on the legend-making.  There are glimmers of brilliance in his songwriting & he was an inspiration to many '90s rockers who cut their teeth on Punk.  In 2007 a biopic about The Germs called "What We Do Is Secret" featuring Shane West as Darby debuted to critical acclaim.

R.I.P.