Welp, the 4th of July is upon us once again and to nobody's surprise, Americans are decrying the enjoyment of an American staple: fireworks. "Fido is so scared of fireworks!" and "WhAt AbOuT oUr VeTeRaNs?" being the leading arguments against them. (Where was this energy for the first 235 years of our country's existence? This is definitely a post-2010 "movement"). While we're on the subject, is there a U.S. holiday Americans DON'T bitch about?
🏳🌈 Pride Month - (homophobes) "Boycott this filth! When's Straight Pride Month?"
🎇 4th of July - "Ban fireworks! My dog hates them."
🎃 Halloween - "OMG your costume offends me, you bigot! How dare you?"
🎄 Christmas - "It's Merry CHRISTmas, not Happy Holidays. Put the Christ back in Christmas."
✊🏾 MLK Day - (racists) "Why is this a holiday? We need a James Earl Ray Day!"
💝 Valentine's Day: "Stupid made-up holiday to sell candy and cards. No thanks."
What a miserable country of whiny, pathetic Karens we've become. That goes equally for both "sides" of the political binary in different ways. Complaining is our new national pastime... a sad form of escape from the bleak realities of living in an empire in decline. Our public bitching serves as an ineffective substitute for direct political action, but it sure helps pass the time while our masters bend us over...
If you don't enjoy the handful of holidays we get in this overworked, exhausted plantation-nation, fine, but let the rest of us celebrate the way we choose to. And try to lighten tf up in the meantime. As for me, I'll be getting lit in more ways than one this Independence Day so WATCH OUT! 🌿😶🌫🧨🎇
