Thursday, May 6, 2021

[Review] - Hemp Flower: Five Leaf Wellness - Mendo x Royal Kush

Five Leaf Wellness is a hemp company located in Chattanooga, Tennessee.  They sell a number of products including flower, tincture, edibles and pet treats.  The flower comes in three varieties:  indoor, outdoor and greenhouse-grown.  I'm not entirely sure what the distinction is in terms of quality but the outdoor is the most expensive, which seems counter-intuitive based on cannabis pricing/quality standards.  (But hey, maybe hemp is grown to a different standard than regular weed?)  

Many of their items are sold out--okay, the vast majority--so I settle on two that are in stock and look best of the available options:  Mendo x Royal Kush and Tonic Berry.  This review is for the former.  All their photos look incredible and top-shelf, though the website is a bit clunky to navigate.  Setting up an account is quick and painless but checkout took like 15 minutes because my card details wouldn't go through for some reason.  The CAPTCHA kept messing up.  No biggie, it eventually worked but be warned if it's your first time ordering:  you may have to be persistent.  I ended up spending $54 on 5 grams and qualifying for free shipping.  Dope!

Mendo x Royal Kush

Mendo x Royal Kush is listed as having 21% CBDa and 0.901% THC with a whopping 26.95% total cannabinoids.  You can view the lab report here.  This indica-dominant hybrid is a cross between the two parent strains and is said to be popular for evening use, though I've never really been able to tell much difference in hemp strain effects since it's mostly CBD.  My main criteria is a high-quality texture.  Is it dried and cured properly?  Most are not for whatever reason.  I'm only using it to fill out my marijuana joints and prefer that it doesn't burn the shit out of my throat.  The vast majority of hemp does unfortunately.  

My package arrived superfast:  only 3 days after ordering, which is damn speedy for First Class shipping.  Packaging was as discreet as could be; everything was vacuum sealed and there was a disclaimer for law enforcement stating that the contents were hemp rather than marijuana. (I don't know how far this would actually go if the package were opened en route, however, as there was no lab report included and I've had packages WITH lab reports seized by the Postal Inspector before).  And boy was this hemp smelly:  upon breaking the vacuum sealed package, I was hit with the most pungent aroma since walking in my local dispensary.  But not one iota of that smell escaped until I broke the seal.  Nice work, Five Leaf.  

As you can tell from the photo above, the Mendo x Royal Kush buds are fat and frosty (that wasn't even the biggest nug), indistinguishable from regular cannabis.  And so is the smell.  I can't emphasize that enough.  After breaking up 3 bottles of the strain, my entire room reeks so bad I had to shut the door to keep the smell from wafting down the hall where my dad was napping.  It seriously rivals the stench of any medical mj strain.  The smell is a pungent skunk with hints of pine and lemon that lingers for hours in the air.  As for the texture, the buds were more on the moist side and could stand some curing but no worse than what I get at the dispensary.  Trim job is impeccable.  

Vacuum-sealed packaging

It breaks up nicely in my grinder and doesn't turn to dust due to the moistness.  I smoke all my hemp in joints mixed with regular weed but will do a special "plain hemp" joint to test the effects just for this review.  Though I will say there's not much distinction between hemp strains since it's mostly CBD so don't expect much of an effect profile review--they're basically all the same in that regard.  

The joint burns a bit unevenly which may be due in part to the wind which is always off the chain here.  But aside from that no real issues.  This 100% hemp joint is less harsh than expected which is a welcome change from what I was smoking before.  I had severe menstrual cramps when I went outside to smoke and am feeling almost nothing when I return inside, though I don't know if it's due to the Mendo x Kush or all the codeine I've ingested throughout the day.  But the timing suggests the hemp.  I'm not complaining one bit but it's a little hard to believe.  My head definitely feels altered after finishing an entire joint which is also hard to believe since it's just hemp (I did have a tiny corner of a 3:1 gummy earlier so perhaps there's a synergy going on).

Verdict:  This is powerful stuff and a great weapon against pain.  I give Five Leaf Wellness Mendo x Royal Kush 4.9 of 5 stars for potency, bag appeal & texture.  Shipping was lightning-fast and free, which I appreciated.  The only real drawback was the difficulty getting my order to go through and with navigating the website, which doesn't clearly show which strains are out of stock until you try to put a certain quantity of each into your cart.  There also weren't very many strains to choose from this time, but I look forward to seeing what's in stock in the future.  This is real top-shelf hemp that won't leave your throat dry & scratchy. 


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