Jonestown: Prescription Drugs & The CIA's Role

Reverend Jim Jones with wife Marceline & their children

Unless you live under a rock, you've heard of the Jonestown massacre of 1978. I'll spare you the psychoanalysis of its diabolical leader James Warren Jones, as that could fill a book of its own (and has filled several). I want to talk instead about the role of drugs in the camp and their effect on Jones in particular.

I also want to touch on the odd--we'll call them 'coincidences'--involved in the Jonestown tragedy. This event was the largest mass casualty of American citizens prior to 9/11, dwarfing even the Oklahoma City bombing many times over. The people eliminated by the mass murder-suicide at Jonestown were folks who just so happened to be considered undesirables by the federal government: ex-convicts, drug addicts, welfare recipients, elderly Social Security recipients, white hippie holdovers with socialist views, kids with behavioral problems sent to the Peoples Temple by various state organizations...but mostly, Black people. Lots of them.

Around 70% of the Peoples Temple & Jonestown membership was comprised of Black folks, though not a single Black person held a leadership position in the powerful "inner circle." Despite his alleged anti-capitalist views, many of Jones' closest confidants had direct links to the Military-Industrial Complex, according to Wikipedia. Larry and Deborah Layton were the children of Laurence Layton, former chief of the Chemical Warfare Division of the U.S. Army. Their mother was the daughter of an IG Farben stockbroker.

What's more, Congressman Leo Ryan--gunned down at the airstrip on his way out of Jonestown--was loathed by the CIA. Ryan was the only Congressperson to be killed in the line of duty in American history--shot more than 20 times for good measure. Amazing 'coincidence' indeed. More on him later.


Humble Beginnings

Jim Jones got his start on the preaching circuit in Indiana. He fashioned his style after a Black cult leader named Father Divine--a boisterous proponent of civil rights, integration & peace who believed himself to be God. For the most part, Jim's years in Indiana were filled with textbook evangelical preaching & (fake) faith healings that drew in the old school Christian crowd, both Black & white. That was one of the main attractions of Jones' church--it was integrated at a time & place where segregation was the standard, years before the Civil Rights movement. This was a relatively drama-free time for Jones & his loyal wife Marceline, who seemed genuinely devoted to the spirit of brotherhood & equality for all people. He attracted members by "walking the walk"--going out into the community & negotiating with slumlords, sending poor kids to college or doing other things to help those in need. This is what set Jim Jones apart from other preachers who only spewed hot air from the pulpit. This all seemed wonderful in the beginning. And it was.

Father & Mother Divine, after whom Jones fashioned his preaching

From the very start, Jim Jones relied on stimulants--prescription amphetamines--to keep his energy up. It started innocently enough with occasional use to overcome fatigue during big projects but quickly escalated to a daily thing. Amphetamine use can cause a sort of mania in which a user feels god-like, super competent or as if they can see the world clearly for the first time. At least in the beginning. As time wears on, side effects like paranoia, hallucinations & exhaustion can begin to mount due to dopamine overload & sleep deprivation if the drugs are abused.

As with most serious speed habits, Jones required sleep aids to help take the edge off at bedtime. Barbiturates were his drug of choice for that. In the '50s & '60s it was quite easy to secure a prescription for these medications, as they were prescribed for everything from PMS & headaches to obesity & depression (which is ironic since they can also cause depression if abused, not unlike alcohol). The uppers made it possible for him to be a living example of his "socialist" work ethic, which included long fiery sermons & work days of about 20 hours for each church member. (Sleep deprivation is a well-known mind control tactic & many Jonestown survivors recall being utterly exhausted during these heady early years). Unfortunately they weren't afforded the luxury of drugs as they were forbidden in the ministry for everyone except Jones, unbeknownst to the flock.

Jones in Redwood Valley, CA 1974 

As time progressed & the dose of speed grew, so did Jones' paranoia. In July 1965 he insisted on moving his Indiana following to a cave in Redwood Valley, California which would supposedly be the only place on Earth that would survive a nuclear holocaust. He packed up 140 of his members & bused them to the remote hamlet of Ukiah, CA to await the coming Armageddon, which he said would occur on July 15th 1967. This is where things started to grow darker. But it was a gradual descent into darkness. He started preaching against the Bible, claiming that it was the white man's way of keeping Black people enslaved. His clan grew vegetables to sustain themselves while awaiting the End of Days. When the world didn't end in '67, Jones decided to move his people to a more urban area where he could gain a bigger following. The small-town feel of Ukiah wasn't feeding his ego sufficiently anymore & he was being accused of welfare fraud by the locals.


Gaining Power in the Peoples Temple

Jones maintained churches in Indiana, the Redwood Valley & every other location he'd previously lived while continuing to expand into Los Angeles & San Francisco. This is where his narcissism shifted into high gear. Not only was he named "Humanitarian of the Year" by the Los Angeles Herald-Examiner, he was praised by the likes of Angela Davis, Harvey Milk & Ronald Reagan for his efforts organizing protests & marches around the city at a moment's notice. His congregation was so large it could sway an election, giving him a significant amount of clout. City life was exactly what Jones had been craving & it was this double-edged sword of increased praise & scrutiny that would ultimately lead to his undoing. As speed habits tend to do, his dose increased over the years along with the need for higher doses of barbiturates to knock him out. And he often didn't sleep at all. He took to wearing sunglasses indoors during sermons to protect his sensitive eyes from the light.

As his following grew, so did his ego. Vicious beatings occurred when members stepped out of line. A pedophile once had his genitals smashed & beaten with a water hose on a table after approaching a child in the Temple. One woman was made to defecate in a can on stage in front of an audience. Children were whipped & paddled in front of their parents, leaving marks all over their bodies. Defectors began to mysteriously disappear & die. Jones propositioned both women & men in the Temple for sex, openly cheating on his devoted wife. He was arrested for attempting to have sex in a public restroom with a male police officer in Los Angeles but managed to get the charges expunged using his political connections (though this incident would later come back to bite him). This was undoubtedly the high point of Jim Jones' career: he had all the sex, drugs, political connections, adoration & control he could ever want. He felt invincible & let it go to his head. Little did he know trouble was brewing.

"Reverend" Jim Jones no longer maintained even the thinnest veil of Christian belief by this point, once lobbing a Bible across the room during a sermon for some reason known only to him. Socialism & Communism were his talking points now, and he used these themes to convince members to turn over ALL their savings & possessions to the Temple. (Even though this is not how socialism works whatsoever). He promised members a land of milk & honey somewhere exotic, perhaps in the Guyanese jungle or on an island somewhere remote...maybe even Russia. He just needed to secure the funds first.

What members didn't know is Jones was siphoning a giant chunk of personal savings into a secret account from their tithing in addition to paying for land in Guyana. The elderly turned over their Social Security checks to Jones each month, as did the welfare recipients with their food stamps & other benefits. Ditto for the disabled & veterans. Wealthy members cashed in their 401k's, sold their homes & even handed over their jewelry mid-sermon when called out by Jones for trying to be "superior" to their less fortunate brothers & sisters. Meanwhile all were expected to volunteer nearly all their free time doing Temple business.

In August of 1977, a damning article in New West magazine was published & exposed Jones' dirtiest secrets, including several accounts of harsh punishments against Temple members including children. Some disgruntled defectors had gone to the publication & spilled all the tea. The Temple tried its best to prevent it from going to print by calling the publication's headquarters hundreds of times, but to no avail. However, by the time the article hit the press its subject was already thousands of miles away in the Guyanese jungle. His paranoia had allowed him to stay one step ahead of the media but he couldn't outrun them forever.

The article in New West marked a turning point for the Peoples Temple--the point where they fled to Jonestown & began the countdown to their destruction.

Thick "greenheart" jungle near Jonestown

This excerpt from The New York Review of Books explains why Guyana was the natural choice for Jones to set up shop:

"So few of the accounts of Jonestown have bothered to examine searchingly why it happened where it did. Overwhelmingly, the books and movies fail to acknowledge the fundamentally intertwined relationship of the United States with this tiny republic in its sphere of influence. This entwining is such that a Guyanese national song usurps Woody Guthrie’s “This Land is Your Land,” swapping “the Redwood Forest” for “the greenheart forest”—as some 1,000 People’s Temple members, in fact, did when they moved from California’s Redwood Valley into the dense mass of Guyana’s famously impenetrable greenheart trees. The entanglement is built into the very structure of the relationship: Guyana’s independence was midwifed by covert CIA agents and American labor union emissaries, who placed Forbes Burnham in power."   (Emphasis mine)

Intriguing.

Life in Jonestown


The early days in Jonestown were described by survivors as the happiest time of their lives. Those were the days before Jim arrived, to be clear. They worked their asses off to clear land in the jungle & build shelter, but the camaraderie & natural beauty of the land was everything they'd been promised & more. Meanwhile, Black Temple members signed over up to $65,000 in monthly welfare payments to Jones, funding the commune on that money alone for a whole year.

And then more people showed up. And more. And more still.

Food rations ran dangerously low as the infertile land failed to produce. The camp was never meant to hold 1000 people--what was Jones thinking? He wasn't. He was stoned off his skull, rambling over the loudspeaker 20+ hours a day while trying to convince himself he was God. He had little hand in the daily running of Jonestown--the down & dirty work that kept the place alive. His inner circle kept things in order & cleaned up his messes while the other 85% did the grunt work. And there was much grunt work to be done. Average sleep times for Jonestown residents ranged from 0-4 hours per night depending on Jones' mood. According to Guyana's Prime Minister, the only reason Jones was able to operate as he did in Guyana was because of the glowing endorsements from First Lady Rosalynn Carter, Walter Mondale & Mayor George Moscone of San Francisco.

Despite the appearance of a utopia, Jim felt stifled in Guyana. This audience was too small. There was nowhere to go with the performance...no new crowds to win over. No accolades or awards. Just the same faces day in & day out. So to compensate he kicked his bad behavior up a notch, becoming more brutal & controlling to ensure no one dare run away or question his authority. He had his followers make deceptively cheerful videos promoting the commune. The drug abuse escalated to new depths too, adding IV drugs like Demerol to the mix. He had his personal nurses shoot him up in front of his sons occasionally.

His health took a dangerous turn for the worse. He became bloated & puffy like a heart failure patient. He suffered fevers & developed a relentless cough. Both he & his followers were convinced he wasn't long for this world. Yet the insanity continued, often in the form of "white night" suicide drills or all-night vigils where members stood guard with rakes & sickles expecting U.S. invaders to descend at any moment. Things were truly spiraling out of control.

Note:  drugs were "smuggled" into Guyana.  

A day in Jonestown was tightly controlled from start to finish.  After the day's work ended, Temple members would attend several hours of activities in a pavilion, including classes in socialism.  Jones compared this schedule to the North Korean system of eight hours of work followed by eight hours of study.  According to Wikipedia, this also comported with the Temple's practice of gradually subjecting its followers to sophisticated mind control and behavior modification techniques borrowed from North Korea and Mao Zedong's China.  Mind control...duly noted.  

The abuse tactics of Jim Jones at Jonestown are often overshadowed by the shocking deaths, but they bear mentioning. As punishments, he employed sensory deprivation, starvation, drugging, psychic driving, humiliation, sleep deprivation & psychological terror (i.e. putting a snake on an elderly woman with a snake phobia) among other documented CIA torture methods. Although Jonestown contained no prison and no capital punishment, various other cruel & unusual punishments were used.  Methods included imprisonment in a tiny plywood box and forcing children to spend a night at the bottom of a well, sometimes upside-down.  For some members who attempted to run away, drugs such as Thorazine, sodium pentathol, chloral hydrate, Demerol, and Valium were administered in an "extended care unit".

Was it the drugs?  Cancer?  AIDS?

Could he have just been a twisted, sadistic prick who happened to favor the same methods & have access to the same drugs as the CIA in their MK-ULTRA experiments? Absolutely. But when you combine that with the scale & sophistication of the Jonestown Agricultural Project as a whole, it starts to look more like a structured experiment than a religious cult. By the time followers were instructed to "drink the Kool-Aid," they were so exhausted & mentally worn they likely welcomed death...at least the ones who drank it willingly. They'd also been through countless fake suicide drills so they had no way of knowing this one was the real deal until it was too late. More mind fuckery. Most shockingly, Jones instructed the adults to kill the children & babies first, which would've ensured their own compliance by inducing overwhelming hopelessness & guilt.

For a sickly drug addled madman, Jones sure was measured & methodical.



Death in Jonestown

It all came to a head when Congressman Leo Ryan was convinced by some concerned family members to take a trip down to Guyana & inspect the conditions of Jonestown firsthand. Congressman Ryan had a long history of similar hands-on investigations, much to the 3-letter organizations' chagrin. He once went undercover & got himself booked into Folsom State Prison to look into the conditions there. Before that, he'd served as a substitute teacher in a Black community to investigate abhorrent conditions. He had plans in 1978 to go undercover yet again at the Postal Service to look into complaints of bad working conditions. He would not live to complete that project.

Mr. Ryan was not well-liked by the CIA due to his involvement in passing the Hughes-Ryan Act, which banned secret paramilitary ops that weren't approved by Congress and the president. This severely restricted the agency's covert operations internationally & caused frustration within the CIA. But this wasn't the only reason he was disliked. In 1975, Ryan leaked info about the CIA's involvement in the Angolan Civil War to a CBS anchorman named Dan Schorr.  A significant transgression.

But wait, there's more.

In '77 & '78, Leo Ryan put pressure on the CIA to reveal its full involvement in MK-ULTRA type mind control experiments. One of these allegedly included subject Donald DeFreeze, a major player in the kidnapping of Patty Hearst. As an inmate in Vacaville prison, DeFreeze claimed he was subjected to experiments in which he was exposed to stress, isolation & drugs like mescaline & Artane and "programmed" to commit high-level crimes by CIA agents. Since DeFreeze's death, the CIA's own documents have confirmed that MK-ULTRA tests were run at Vacaville prison during DeFreeze's sentence in 1974, so that's not up for debate. That Congressman Ryan was pressuring the secretive agency to reveal their unethical human experiments definitely would've earned him a target on his back.

Did I mention he was the only Congressperson to ever be killed in the line of duty?

Congressman Ryan after stabbing attempt in Jonestown

Right. Ryan's crew arrived at Jonestown on November 14, 1978. Everything looked hunky dory...suspiciously calm on the final day & evening. After an uncharacteristically big meal, Ryan spoke briefly to the crowd & said something to the effect of "you guys seem to think this is the best thing that's ever happened to you," after which the exhausted crowd clapped & cheered for a full minute in a drone-like manner. Ryan looked sheepish & uneasy. The next day he would be passed a note by a defector who wanted out & his fate would be sealed.

Port Kaituma airstrip where Congressman Ryan & others were slain 

To put things in perspective: A total of 14 people out of nearly 1,000 wanted to leave Jonestown that day. Think about that for a second. Jones still had control of over 900 human beings. All of his inner circle, his kids...everyone he loved stayed with him in Jonestown by choice. He still had millions of dollars & assets & as many drugs as his body could hold. According to the New York Times, he left $7 million to consul for the Soviet Union in Georgetown, Fyodore Timofeyev after the murder-suicides. Before leaving Jonestown for the airstrip, Congressman Ryan had told Garry that he would issue a report that would describe Jonestown "in basically good terms". Ryan stated that none of the 60 relatives he had targeted for interviews wanted to leave, the 14 defectors constituted a very small portion of Jonestown's residents, and even if 200 of the 900+ wanted to leave, "I'd still say you have a beautiful place here." Despite Garry's report, Jones told him, "I have failed." Garry reiterated that Ryan would be making a positive report, but Jones maintained that "all is lost."  

So why did he decide everyone HAD TO DIE? What secrets did those 14 defectors know that couldn't make it back to the States? Why did they chase Leo Ryan down & shoot him over 20 times when he had nothing ill to report about Jonestown? Why can Jones be heard on the final tape telling one of his lackeys to "get Dwyer out of here" repeatedly when the only "Dwyer" in Jonestown was a man who had accompanied Ryan's crew--a man suspected to have ties to the CIA? Jones' wife, lovers, little boy...even Jones himself would all die that day. Why would this "Dwyer" be the exception? "Take Dwyer on down to the East house before something happens to him" were his exact words. He then repeats "No, not Ujara. I said DWYER." Even his henchmen are baffled.

Apparently, Leo Ryan's family found it suspicious as well. Almost 2 years after his death, Ryan's 5 children filed a lawsuit alleging CIA involvement at Jonestown. They claim that Richard Dwyer doubled as an agent of the CIA and “arranged for the transportation of decedent and his party once in Guyana; briefed decedent and his party on the events and conditions at Jonestown upon their arrival; and escorted decedent and his party to Jonestown in November 1978.”  It also claimed that Dwyer “knowingly, intentionally and maliciously led [Ryan] into a trap at the Port Kaituma Air Strip, which cost decedent his life.”  Dwyer can be seen peeling off from the group right before the shooting at Port Kaituma begins.  It's all on tape thanks to the work of NBC cameraman Bob Brown who was also killed that day.

"CIA & Jonestown" vid that shows Richard Dwyer during airstrip shooting

There were also claims in the lawsuit that massive amounts of 'mind control drugs' were found at Jonestown.  A full list can be found here.  I've always personally wondered where these drugs came from, how they made it to the middle of the Guyanese jungle in such quantities & why such immaculate records were kept on the use of said drugs.  Every dose was accounted for on paper, though many of the barbiturates were claimed to have been used in the nursery (clearly BS as Jones was consuming them).  

But there would be no legal need to keep such extensive records of the medications used by the camp...so why did they do it?  Where did they source the cyanide from?  The guns & ammo?  Why did they record so many of their "sermons"--including the final death ceremony--on tape?  Who was all of this documentation for?  If the drugs were smuggled into Guyana as alleged by the Associated Press & other sources, one would not want any records of their existence because they would be illegal.  Yet it exists.  Why?  For whom? 

While the tapes could be chalked up to Jones' narcissism & a desire to leave some sort of twisted legacy behind, the immaculate medical records & other oddities cannot.  The Ryans’ lawsuit was dismissed for reasons that were never disclosed.  

There's a theory that perhaps Jones was suffering from advanced stages of AIDS & related dementia at the time of death, though this has never been proven.  His symptoms--weight loss of 30-40 lbs, progressive fungal infection of the lungs, night sweats & mental/cognitive instability--would've aligned with this.  In fact his personal physician gave him only "weeks to live" at the time of the massacre, though this sounds a bit exaggerated (particularly the alleged blood pressure of 300 & the fever of 105-106*F).  It's more likely he had just worn his body down from years of heavy drug abuse & couldn't handle the harsh jungle conditions of Guyana, but the theory is intriguing when you factor in his prior residence in San Francisco--a hub for HIV in the early years--& his promiscuous bisexual lifestyle.  

Uneasy body language between Jones, his lawyer & CIA agent Dwyer

What Went Wrong?

Trying to determine whether Jim Jones was genuine in the beginning & merely spun out of control due to power & drugs or always had purely evil motives is nigh impossible.  Was it always supposed to end this way?  Did Jones himself intend to die that day with his people?  Certainly, his escalating drug habit affected his ability to think & control his emotions.  But that almost looks even more suspicious:  how did a greatly weakened, deathly ill man who hadn't had a good night's sleep since the '60s get 918 people to drink poison?  

Even more baffling are his connections to the CIA, such as his friendship with agent Dan Mitrione.  The two met in childhood & possibly again in Belo Horizonte, Brazil in the 1960's for unknown purposes.  Did Jim train under Dan while in Brazil?  Even his #1 biographer Tim Reiterman doesn't know how to account for this lost time in S. America.  Jones admits to seeking Mitrione out & meeting with his family while in Brazil, which is...odd.  How many people do you know with this many coincidental CIA connections who go on to become famous preachers with high-level political backing & the money to carve out a self-named settlement halfway around the world?  

"Jonestown was a CIA mind control experiment" sounds a lot crazier than what may have actually happened.  One man, funded & helped along by people in the government at various times--set up an agricultural & medical project in the jungle away from prying media eyes where he could covertly continue certain medical experiments curtailed by the Church Senate hearings & Leo Ryan's snooping.  Anyone who pulled off the level of welfare fraud Jones did would've certainly faced big problems with the various 3-letter agencies, yet he was able to not only continue his brutal 'ministry' but do so with the blessing of major political figures on the West Coast.  If anyone can figure out how to do this without the government knowingly turning a blind eye or aiding in the venture, they've got a bright & prosperous future ahead.  

Dan Mitrione:  Government advisor for the CIA in Latin America

When you put all of this together, a disturbing picture emerges--even creepier than the cult suicide angle.  The bare facts are:  Jonestown's dead were comprised of the same undesirable groups that had previously been subjected to mind control experiments throughout America's history.  The cyanide deaths happened after the assassination of a known CIA enemy (Congressman Ryan) & only 3 years after the very public Church Senate hearings that exposed the government's covert mind control experiments.  The Congressman's death would've looked very bad for the CIA if the other deaths hadn't happened to overshadow it.  The 14 defectors had spent enough time in Jonestown to see & experience what was being done to people & might've gone back & started a media storm.  That would've jeopardized whatever was taking place covertly in the commune.  

The CIA had allegedly stopped all MK-ULTRA style mind control experiments in 1973--one year before Jonestown was established.  After the Church Committee Senate hearings in 1975, it would've been too big a liability for the agency to get caught in something like a mass "cult mind control" experiment on poor minorities, so that might help explain the massacre itself.  The White Night suicide drills were a last resort 'panic switch' to pull if the truth threatened to leak out, which it did when Ryan & his crew showed up.  Jones was too volatile to be in charge of such a project after becoming addicted to hard drugs & allowing his physical health to deteriorate so badly...this was their emergency exit plan.  Maybe it was more than a mind control experiment.  Other substances have been tested on prisoners, orphans, soldiers & the mentally ill in this country that had nothing to do with mind control, such as dioxins & various other dermatological agents.  (See: "Acres of Skin: Human Experiments at Holmesburg Prison")

Excerpt from the Church Committee hearings

Whatever the case, the victims were treated as villains in the aftermath, mocked in the press & left unclaimed in funeral homes for years.  No city officials wanted to bury the bodies in their cities for fear of attracting "fanatical cultists" or other ridiculous nonsense.  Kool-Aid jokes drowned out serious discourse; the official narrative was one of mass suicide rather than murder despite the camp being surrounded by armed gunmen & many people being injected with cyanide.  "Those people" were nothing more than wild-eyed socialists--not true American patriots.  They were barely considered human, much less American.  It was a shameful commentary on how we view disenfranchised victims in this country & made the whole thing look that much more suspicious.

Revolting photo of Rep. Ryan shows disregard for victims

Just as suspected, only a few close family members mourned for the 918 deceased, 1/3rd of whom were children & another 1/3rd elderly or disabled.  One brave soul named Christine Miller can be heard speaking out on the final tape against suicide only to be shouted down by angry peers who seem eager to die.  Does this mean the majority drank the poison "willingly"?  Only if you consider ritualistic torture, sleep deprivation, starvation, years of fake suicide drills, stealing of all your resources back home & other methods of brainwashing to have no effect on a person's decision-making abilities.  

Make no mistake:  What the adults did to the children & elderly in Jonestown is unforgivable.  But how much agency did they have by this point?  They were surrounded by armed gunmen & death nurses with syringes full of potassium cyanide.  On Day 1 of arrival at Jonestown, Jim confiscated everyone's passports & made an announcement they would not be returning to the States unless it was in a box, according to one defector.  So there's that.  The inner circle could've certainly overpowered Jones & turned things around but they chose not to.  Maria Katsaris, Annie Moore, Larry Schacht, Carolyn Layton & James McElvane helped Jim do what he could not have done alone by that point so they are also culpable.  Attempting to determine who died by their own hand 'for the cause' & who was coerced against their will is a futile exercise.  

Four months after the tragedy, Mike Prokes, who'd served as media spokesperson for the Peoples Temple after originally joining as an informant, called a press conference during which he read a chilling statement calling for a second look at what caused the deaths at Jonestown.  After finishing his statement, he went to the hotel bathroom, turned on the sink & shot himself.  His suicide note concluded:  "If my death doesn’t prompt another look at what brought about the end of Jonestown, then life wasn’t worth living anyway."  Surprisingly little attention was paid to this event in the media despite its implications & proximity to the actual Jonestown tragedy.

Aftermath

Over 40 years have passed since the events in Jonestown.  Unfortunately, little has changed in that time in regards to how people talk about Jones or his followers.  References to "demons," "evil spirits" & other religious malarkey heavily litters the comment section of every Jonestown video on Youtube.  Everyone is convinced that THEIR brand of spiritual voodoo is immune to this sort of manipulation, which is offensive to the victims & survivors.  The only difference between a religion & a cult is the number of followers.  The same people shooting down the possibility of CIA involvement are using Dark Age terminology about devils & demon possession to describe Jim Jones or calling the victims "crazy," which is pretty damn hypocritical.  

Green Berets bag up the bodies for transport

People also want to push their own political agendas in the discussion of the tragedy.  A popular line goes:  "See, this is what socialism & communism will get you!"  Never mind that the financial structure of Peoples Temple & Jonestown have nothing more in common with socialism than Jones has in common with a devout Christian (remember the Bible-throwing?)  He was socialist/communist in name only & used these labels as a ploy to attract followers.  His style was socialist but his substance was pure oligarchy & dictatorship.  While he might have attempted to vaguely imitate the methods of communist countries or evangelical preachers, in no way did Jones embody the actual spirit of these things.  He was just that:  an imitator.  It was all a means to an end.  What that end was we may never truly know.

Another common view is that the people deserved what they got if they were "stupid" & "docile" enough to go along with it.  After all, what could possibly convince an intelligent person to drink poison?  While this cruel victim-blaming doesn't even warrant a response, this quote from defector Deborah Layton-Blakey regarding a fake "white night" suicide drill is pretty enlightening:

"Mrs. Blakey says she had drunk the liquid that night because “the whole pavilion was surrounded by guards. You also knew that if it was not the real thing and you said. ‘No,’ and lived through it, you'd have your butt kicked severely. After a while, after you continually had these ‘white nights,’ after you'd seen your best friends beaten up and you were estranged from your family, after a while you just wanted be dead.”

For any doubters, here's a final piece of memorabilia:  a card that refers to the commune in Jonestown as a medical project.  The word "medical" would be dropped from the "Peoples Temple Agricultural Project" insignia & it would thus be remembered as a strictly agricultural endeavor in most hearts & minds.  More info on the card here.  

Additional Suggested Reading/Listening:

Transmissions From Jonestown podcast series (Youtube)

Laura Johnston-Kohl's personal Peoples Temple photo album (Flickr)

Alternative Consideration of Jonestown & The Peoples Temple (SDSU.com)

The Black Hole of Guyana: The Untold Story of The Jonestown Massacre (John Judge)

Jim Hougan's writings on The Peoples Temple & Jim Jones (JimHougan.com)

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[Review] - Moon Mix Vape Cartridge: Pineapple Express

Vendor:  Moon Mix
Location:  Oklahoma, USA
Items:  Vape cartridges
Review:  4.8 of 5 stars
Website:  www.moonmixvape.com/

Was able to obtain this lovely vape cartridge & have been cautiously stoked to try it out.  I've never tried THC-containing vape products due to a fear of their potency--I'm a lightweight when it comes to weed these days.  I was a hardcore pothead growing up in a time & place where the weed was much less potent (read: seed-filled brick weed), but today's stuff tends to make me paranoid & anxious with anything more than a tiny toke.  These carts contain super-high amounts of THC in most cases & aren't always balanced out by the other parts of the cannabinoid spectrum (CBG, CBC, terpenes, etc).  TL;DR - Yes, I'm a chicken.

So I got this 1000 mg cartridge for $60.  It didn't come with a battery or pen--just the cartridge.  Luckily I already had a 510-thread battery to hook it to, which was just the right fit.  The cart reads:  "Pineapple Express is a sativa strain crossing Trainwreck & Hawaiian.  It is potent, flavorful & long-lasting."  They weren't lying about the potent or long-lasting part.  Sweet Jesus.  I took 2 small hits & was extremely lifted for about 4 hours.  Not tired whatsoever and the comedown is much less sleep-inducing than whole cannabis, which I like.  Very clean-feeling head high.  Pretty significant cognitive impairment & mindfuck so I won't be ingesting this when I have to be around people in the daytime, but it's a great choice for chill days & parties.  The THC content is 78.3% with CBD coming in at 0.52% & terpenes at 8%.  Should last me forever at this rate.

Cartridge ready for use

The flavor is very "weedy" & green despite the label's claim that it's "sweet/tropical/cedar flavored."  But who cares as long as it gets the job done?  Moon Mix makes a whole heap o' cartridge varieties, including Clementine, Zkittlez & Sundae Driver.  They have a page on Weedmaps with generally good reviews (3.5 of 5 stars at the time of this review) with the Pineapple Express cartridge receiving 3.8 stars.  The most common complaints are of weak quality, bad taste, leaking cartridges & harshness.  So far I've noticed none of that.  Hoping my cartridge doesn't leak as that would really suck.  Other problems are surmountable.  I'm not picky about taste & the like.  Moon Mix carts don't contain PG, VG, PEG or MCT according to the label & are pesticide-free.

Even with access to medical marijuana, I don't see myself completely giving up pure CBD products.  Many marijuana enthusiasts view plain CBD as a sort of snake oil but for me it is vital for balancing out THC's side effects & preventing migraines.  Works wonders if I get too high for comfort as well.  However, the legal hemp-derived CBD market needs to work on its labeling & purity if it wants my business.  Shit is looking shady as hell.

Yeah, so to conclude I give this vendor & product a 4.7 of 5 stars for quality & ease of use.  The fact that I no longer have to go outside in the sweltering heat & humidity with wasps & other flying bitey things to consume cannabis is a BIG plus that makes this purchase more than worth the $60, though that price is a bit steep for a vape cartridge IMO.  But if it truly doesn't leak & works all the way until the last drop is used up, it'll have been worth the price tag. 

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Edit 7/4/19:  After more extensive use, I'm highly (har har) impressed with this thing.  It is far superior to flower in that the benefits are much more pronounced with fewer side effects.  Namely, anxiety & paranoia.  All I really get is a dry mouth after taking a couple puffs which is no big deal since I already deal with dry mouth from my meds anyway.  The comedown is super smooth--basically nonexistent compared to smoked ganja.  I've avoided weed for years due to the nasty fatigue on the comedown so this is significant.  The only mechanical problem I've encountered so far is a bit of clogging but that's easily remedied by simply pulling harder on the inhale.

What's more, sativas have always hit me wrong, causing more severe anxiety AND a harsher comedown in the fatigue department.  This sativa-dominant hybrid (Pineapple Express) has none of these effects, making me wonder how many of my issues were with combustion and/or whole plant use rather than the strain.  The flavor is actually damn good if I hit the pen hard enough (which I wasn't doing in the beginning due to being a chicken, lol)--tropical & almost fruity.  There is a vague weed smell in my room after hitting it but NOTHING like smoking in my closet & blowing it into a pillow.

I never imagined these THC bombs would have fewer side effects than actual weed.  I was wrong.  I can use this vape during the daytime indoors with no paranoia around family & no drowsiness on the comedown.  I seriously want to try every Moon Mix strain cartridge now & secure my mmj card so I have full-time access to this caliber of product.  Updating to 4.8 of 5 stars.



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[Review] - NutraVitaShop: Acetyl L-Carnitine (ALCAR)

Vendor:  NutraVitaShop
Location:  Irvine, California
Items:  Spirulina, Hemp Seed Oil, Caffeine tabs, ALCAR.
Rating:  4.7 of 5 stars
Website:  www.ebay.com/str/nutrivitashop

ALCAR 250g

After having great success with Agmatine sulfate, I decided to see what other nootropics might be useful for my fatigue & general malaise.  I was reading an article about narcolepsy when I stumbled upon info about L-carnitine, which is supposedly proven to help with the condition.  That's huge since narcolepsy is a severe sleep disorder that causes uncontrollable daytime sleep attacks.  I've had 2 doctors suggest to me that I may have narcolepsy & have even been prescribed Provigil (modafinil) for it before, so I figured I'd give L-carnitine a try.  (The Provigil prevented daytime napping but did NOTHING for the fatigue, which was torture).  I self-medicate with Benzedrex daily in low doses which also doesn't do much to keep me awake but is better than nothing.

Reddit's /r/nootropics community told me the acetyl version (referred to as ALCAR for short) would be most effective, so that's the kind I purchased.  Acetyl L-Carnitine is a more absorb-able form of the amino acid L-Carnitine which is found in red meat, milk & poultry.  I went all in and bought a big 250g bag from eBay vendor NutraVitaShop for $15.95.  Apparently, ALCAR resembles acetylcholine molecularly & is helpful in many neural processes.  My diet is terrible & has always been.  I mean since toddlerhood.  I'm mildly autistic & extremely picky.  It's even worse now due to severe GERD limiting my options to bland foods.  I basically survive on rice, crackers, bread & a variation of other carby starches.  So even with vitamin/mineral supplements, there's gotta be some deficiencies going on.

Scoop included!

I started with a small 200mg dose after a meal just to see how it affected me.  A typical dose is 500-1000mg.  The taste is sour...somewhere between vinegar & pickles with a twist of lemon on the pH scale.  Holy wowza.  That's gonna stir up my reflux.  I can't imagine taking a much bigger dose with the state of my stomach.  Might have to split it up into multiple smaller doses & take it throughout the day with meals or something.  The bag came with a little blue scoop, which is cool.  Not sure what I'm supposed to expect other than increased alertness, but I definitely feel more on point verbally, which is huge since I take topiramate & it makes me dumber than a rock in that department.  I'm clapping back at my mom & we're having a good laugh at a time of day I'm not usually even awake.  Could be placebo effect at this dose, I realize that.  But my body could also be starved for any ALCAR it gets.  I take a second dose of the same amount about 2 hours later.  So that's about 400-450mg total.  And right on schedule, I get tired & take an afternoon nap...a very light & short one littered with nightmares & awakenings.  Damn.

It's too early to judge whether this supplement will be a good fit for me long-term but I give this particular vendor & order a 4.7 of 5 stars.  Shipping was lightning-fast, price was reasonable & their feedback is great on eBay.  While the taste is terrible, they do warn about it on the website so it wasn't unexpected.  It ultimately didn't end up irritating my stomach as much as I expected which is good.  Will try a bigger dose soon & maybe update if anything noteworthy happens.  I would recommend NutraVitaShop to anyone who wants to try pharmaceutical-grade ALCAR or other nootropics.

_______________________________________________________________________________

Update 7/5/19:  After several more uses, I find ALCAR to be very effective in preventing daytime naps but a tad dysphoric.  It reminds me a lot of modafinil (Provigil), actually.  I still feel just as drowsy but naps are impossible after a 300mg dose.  I find myself feeling a bit negative & cranky on the days I take this, so I'll probably play with the dose more & only use it on days where I absolutely can't be napping.

Oh, and the vinegar-like taste can be avoided completely by putting it in a capsule.  Duh. 

Should I Take Psychedelics If I'm Depressed?

Psychedelics like mushrooms & LSD are currently enjoying a renaissance, particularly as a proposed treatment for mental illnesses like depression & alcoholism.  But one of the core tenants of psychonauts everywhere is that of "set & setting":  to only trip when you're in a good mindset & a safe physical setting.  So where does depression fit in this scheme?  It would seem contraindicated to trip while clinically depressed according to these rules.  Is it safe to trip while in an active depressive episode? 

Answer:  It depends. 

If you've never done psychedelics, here's a quick rundown of their effects.  These substances tend to magnify how you're already feeling, for better or worse.  They don't guarantee euphoria or a good time the way MDMA or opioids do & shouldn't be taken in a loud party setting, especially by novices.  In addition to the visual hallucinations, psychedelics can bring up complex & uncomfortable emotions or thought loops.  This is more likely to happen if you go into the trip with a serious or contemplative mood or take a large dose. 

Phenethylamines vs. tryptamines: which is right for you?

In my experience, psychedelic trips are most helpful for depression at the tail end when the effects are wearing off.  Shrooms in particular.  There is a sense of invigoration & renewal--like I just survived an uncomfortable experience & should be grateful for my health.  For the next couple days I tend to feel clearer in my mind & have an increased focus on eating right & taking care of myself (which as every depressed person knows can be a challenge).  It's somewhat akin to a mental vacation or hitting the 'reset' button.  4-AcO-DMT is virtually interchangeable with psilocybin mushrooms for myself & most people so I include it in this category.  4-HO-MET is similar but lasts quite a bit longer.  These are all tryptamines.  Other substances in the tryptamine class include:  DMT, aMT & 5-MeO-DMT. 

LSD & mescaline are a slightly different beast in terms of effects.  Most people find them to be more stimulating & cerebral, which can either be good or bad depending on your neurochemistry.  One thing is certain--these drugs last much longer than shrooms so be prepared for a longer trip if you take them.  Mescaline almost always causes intense nausea at the onset.  Apparently this is true whether you eat the cactus slime or ingest pure mescaline extract.  LSD comes with the small risk of adulteration so only buy from trusted sources.  I'd personally recommend this type of psychedelic for a more experienced psychonaut, but it's really up to you what you feel comfortable with.  This type of psychedelic is called a phenethylamine.  Other substances in this class include MDA, the DOx series & the 2C-x series. 

*Substances in bold lettering are ones I've personally tried.  

Setting & Dose

Daytripping outdoors = the bees' knees

For me, the absolute ideal setting for a positive trip is outdoors in comfortable weather with a couple of close friends--maybe one of whom is also tripping & one who is sober.  No responsibilities to worry about, just the beauty of nature & the closeness of your friends to ground you.  Having a benzodiazepine (Xanax, Valium, Klonopin) on hand in case the trip goes South is a great way to ease your worries.  Even if you don't end up taking it, just knowing it's there will put your mind at ease.  You can plan out your trip activities in advance but I find this to be futile.  When the drug kicks in you'll be swept up by the wonderment of it all & go in the direction it takes you. 

Start with a low dose--2.5 grams of shrooms or 20mg of 4-AcO-DMT, for instance.  Maybe swallow some peppermint tea or ginger root capsules if you're worried about nausea.  Then lie down & wait for the show to begin.  Music can be great but the kind with minimal lyrics tends to work best.  Tycho, Sigur Ros & Shpongle are classic trip soundtracks.  You'll know the stuff has kicked in when you notice colors becoming more vivid & shapes melting together in a curious way.  You might feel a burst of energy & lightness propelling your body up; don't fight it!  Go & explore nature (safely).  Allow yourself to be wowed by simple things like a child.  This is one of the most beautiful things about psychedelics--returning the wonderment of childhood to everyday life. 

You may find yourself overcome with fatigue/drowsiness at certain points during the trip (I always do).  Don't fight it.  Just sit or lie down wherever you can until it passes.  There tends to be a dramatic rise & fall in energy levels with psychedelics for some people.  If your thoughts start to take a weird or dark turn, just go with it.  Remind yourself you've taken a substance & it will wear off soon.  Therapy isn't always pleasant but you'll be better for having endured it.  When else will you be able to experience these deeply WEIRD feelings & thoughts? 

The Verdict?  

No 2 depressed people are alike. Only you know what's safe for you.

So is it safe to take psychedelics while depressed?  It depends.  If you are comfortable in your ability to withstand difficult emotions without hurting yourself, it's probably okay.  However, if you have severe anxiety, bipolar disorder or depression with psychotic features you might want to skip the hallucinogens until you're feeling more stable.  Ideally we'd all be able to ingest these substances with the supervision of a trained therapist--and that day may be coming quicker than previously thought.  But for now we'll have to make due with sober trip sitters & our own best judgment. 

If you do decide to trip while depressed, don't make any rash decisions like quitting your prescribed psych meds in favor of 'natural' alternatives.  It's generally fine to take psychedelics with anti-depressants like SSRIs & SNRIs, though you should do a quick Google search of interactions with your particular meds & psychedelic before embarking on a trip.  Don't add other drugs to the mix, as that only complicates things & increases the likelihood of a bad trip.  Even weed.  As you get more comfortable with psychedelics, you can experiment with higher doses & such. 

CICO Life Pt. 2: Types of Over-eaters & Practical Advice

~EAT TO LIVE; DON'T LIVE TO EAT~  -  A MANTRA FOR ALL

     Food is fuel for our brains & bodies.  Its purpose is to energize & sustain us.  We should eat things that are nutrient-dense to nourish ourselves so we have the strength & vitality to function at our best.  Calories are a measurement of the energy in food.  They are neither good nor evil--they merely measure the potential energy we can derive from a given item of food.  If we move our bodies & use that energy, the calories will be burned.  If we don't, they will be stored as fat & we will gain weight over time.
     We shouldn't plan our lives around food or eat for enjoyment & pleasure.  We should not reward ourselves with food.  We are not dogs.  Food is not a drug & we should not behave like addicts seeking out excitement or comfort from it.  Happiness & comfort come from our friends, family, hobbies & inner sense of self-love & purpose.  If you lack those things, you must seek them through therapy & other healthy means.  Start today.

EMOTIONAL EATERS

While watching My 600-lb Life, one theme that comes up universally is that of severe childhood trauma in the patients' histories.  These traumas are often left to fester by their parents, compounding with other problems over the years until they become a giant snowball of misery & one day, bam!  The person is stuck in the shower with a camera crew watching.  The most common question for onlookers is, "How the HELL does it get to that point?" but the simple answer is:  unresolved trauma.  After attending therapy, the patients often show dramatic improvement in their weight loss almost as if by magic.  But it's not magic at all.  Psychological illnesses often have physical manifestations & obesity is no different.

Betta be calculating those calories

So to anyone dealing with a bad case of "eating your feelings," I'd suggest finding a good licensed therapist or psychologist.  I cannot overstate the benefit of having someone unbiased to talk to about your problems.  If you're averse to the idea, please know that it's not like in the 1950's where you lie on a couch with a box of tissues & recount your sad life story to some detached doctor--today's therapy is highly casual & focuses on building healthy coping skills rather than dwelling on your shortcomings.  AND, with the advent of telemedicine, you can often meet with your therapist from the comfort of your own livingroom over an iPad or other device.  It's never been easier.  Most states have sliding-scale clinics for people without insurance too. 

If for some reason you can't afford or access therapy right now, there are still some things you can do in the meantime to deal with your emotional eating tendencies.  Learn to tell the difference between *hunger* and *cravings*.  With actual hunger your stomach will be growling, you may have a headache or feel weak, 2 or more hours will have passed since you last ate & you are not just fixating on one food.  Hunger will not pass with time if ignored because it's your body's signal that you need to eat.  With cravings, you're more likely to want a specific junk food item like chocolate or salty/fatty foods; they can occur after you've recently eaten & will pass with time if ignored.  Cravings are more likely to follow a negative experience or emotion & giving in to them may cause relief from the feeling at first followed by immense guilt.  Not so with hunger.

Identify your triggers.  Next time you feel compelled to binge out on something unhealthy, grab a pen & paper instead & write down the emotion you're feeling.  Are you angry?  Lonely?  Bored, scared, confused, embarrassed?  It may take some time to get comfortable with identifying just HOW you actually feel, but with practice it'll become second nature.  This is half the battle.  If you're not actually hungry, choose instead to do something healthy to cope with the feeling, such as journaling, yoga, meditation, singing, going for a walk, playing fetch with your dog or taking a warm Epsom salt bath.  Anything that will allow your mind to become calm & focused rather than numb.  Just delay eating as long as possible.  Before you know it, you may find that the craving is gone.

Ditch the junk food.  It's common sense that if the food isn't handy in the house, you're less likely to reach for it in the midst of an emotional spiral.  You wouldn't tell a drug addict to "identify their triggers" without throwing out their dope, so it makes no sense to tell an emotional eater to do so without ditching the junk food.  When grocery shopping, stick to the outer aisles & stock up on fruits, veggies, lean meats & whole grains as much as possible.  Limit pre-packaged foods that are high in calories.  Don't eat out at fast food restaurants or other establishments more than once a week--if that often.  If a food item doesn't display the calorie count on the container, think long & hard about whether you should be eating it.  The answer is usually 'no' unless you're in a hurry and there are no other options, which is rare.

A recent study confirmed what a lot of us already knew:  people in happy, stable relationships tend to gain weight or become overweight more often than single folks.  This would seem to indicate that emotional eating can occur as a result of positive emotions as well as negative.  So be aware of that too:  food is often the centerpiece at holidays, family get-togethers, parties & other feel-good celebrations, so don't assume 'emotional eating' is only a result of negative feelings.  If food is your way of celebrating or socializing, you'll have to brainstorm some new healthy ways to enjoy these occasions.  Don't be afraid to tell loved ones you're trying to change either.  A true friend will not hesitate to support you in your self-improvement.


SCARCITY EATERS

Cleaning your plate is fine as long as portion sizes are reasonable

A lot of people raised during the depression--or whose parents were raised during that era--were pounded with the message that wasting food is tantamount to murder.  Well, maybe not quite murder, but pretty close.  You ate what was served to you (hello, Jell-O moulds) or you went hungry and didn't let a bite of it go to waste.  (Mince meat anyone?  Mmmm, thanks mom).  Even '80s & '90s babies were taught that an empty plate is a "happy plate".

While that's all well & good, it can also contribute to an obsessive form of overeating in some people that leads to weight problems.  I've seen this firsthand & it's not pretty.  I'm not referring to actual poverty here, which is truly a tragedy.  I'm talking about people with plenty of resources who are either obsessively cheap or believe that the sky will fall if they waste a single morsel of bread or a dime-sized puddle of ketchup.

What most don't realize is that food is excessively cheap to produce & abundant in the U.S. today--particularly processed food.  Pre-packaged food is made with the lowest quality ingredients like high-fructose corn syrup (which is used mainly because there's an obscene surplus of corn) & subsidized by the USDA.  So while you shouldn't purposefully waste food, forcing yourself--or worse, your kids--to clean their plate at every meal is not a great habit either.  In fact the whole problem can be avoided by choosing healthy portion sizes to begin with, though this is not always possible when other people are serving.

If this is a problem for you, you can learn to replace this habit by saying a quick 'thank you' for your food at each meal (not necessarily a prayer if you're not religious--just an utterance of gratitude for the nourishment to the universe, yourself or whoever's serving it).  This allows you to still show your gratitude for the food without feeling you have to hoover it all up OR ELSE.  Also, eat slowly & really savor the smells, textures & flavors of what you're eating as a way of appreciating what's on your plate.  If you have a garden & the leftovers are compatible with composting, you can add them to your compost pile so they're not totally going to waste.  Or feed them to some stray animals that lurk around your property.  Or just throw them in the trash & learn to let go.
There, there.  It'll be alright.


YO-YO DIETERS

This is probably the most common & least successful type of person interested in weight loss.  While well-intentioned, the Yo-Yo Dieter just can't seem to make any long-term progress in the weight loss department.  They have tried ALL the popular fad diets from Atkins to the Zone but never seem to stick with any single plan for very long.  And why would they?  These diets aren't meant to last the duration of a person's life!  They're either too restrictive, unscientific or just plain ridiculous & ineffective in the long run.  While they may lead to temporary weight loss, the weight often piles back on even worse than before when the diet is stopped.

Cycle of yo-yo dieting

That's what happens when weight loss occurs too fast or by unhealthy means, which is why a gradual, sensible lifestyle change is best.  Slow & steady is the goal because slow & steady can be maintained permanently.  For example, contestants on "The Biggest Loser" who drop massive amounts of weight through back-breaking exercise nearly always gain the weight back (and then some) upon returning home because that bootcamp lifestyle is simply not practical long-term.  Likewise, dieters who rely on stimulants or other pills often find themselves bigger than ever when they quit the meds or develop a tolerance & experience a rebound in appetite.

It goes back to the "eat to live" principle:  many fad diets are so restrictive they don't allow a person to eat enough calories to fuel their bodies & be healthy, which either leads to a massive crash & disillusionment with the diet or an eating disorder.  (Take the Stillman Water Diet for instance, which is what Karen Carpenter started with.  She eventually died due to complications of anorexia nervosa).  Fad diets promise quick fixes & dramatic results but fail to deliver in the long run.  Plus, many of them are just plain unnecessary & miserable!  Why put yourself through starvation or weird cleanses when you can simply eat healthy portions of delicious foods?

The problem is many dieters have black-and-white thinking & truly DO want overnight results.  They aren't thinking about a year, 3 years or 5 years down the road.  They want to look good this Summer.  Unfortunately that leads to a cycle of yo-yo dieting & an ever-fluctuating weight, which can end up doing a number on your metabolism over time.  The solution is to buckle down & learn the basics about nutrition.  Understand the CICO plan; calculate your TDEE & formulate a diet to meet your daily calorie needs.  And no, CICO is not a fad diet--it stands for "Calories In, Calories Out" which is the bare bones basics for how our bodies use & store energy.

There is another type who gravitates to the extreme diets:  the food addict.  Just as alcoholics & drug addicts are expected to abstain from substances completely, many overeaters believe they can't manage moderation & opt for extreme diets.  While this may work with drugs like cocaine or alcohol that aren't required to sustain life, food is something we must all eat every day to stay alive.  Thus, moderation is something we must learn if we're to have a healthy relationship with food & maintain a healthy weight.  (Food addicts aren't a specific subgroup of overweight people--they can be emotional eaters who haven't addressed their issues, for instance.  But they see themselves as addicts with no control over their "disease" which is dangerous when it comes to something life-sustaining like food). 

Don't get caught up in the latest health headlines which tend to change weekly.  Stick to counting your calories on paper or with an app like MyFitnessPal each day & you WILL see results.  Weigh yourself weekly.  Exercise when you can.  Physical activity is great for your health, but remember:  Weight loss is 80% diet & 20% exercise so don't fool yourself into thinking you can overeat just because you spent 30 minutes in the gym.  It takes approximately 1 hour of vigorous cardio to burn the calories from one cookie.  Check out this handy guide to see how many cals are burned doing various exercises.


CONCLUSION

Do you fall into one or more of these groups?  This is by no means a definitive list of the "types" of people who struggle with eating and their weight.  It's just my observation of some of the most common I've seen in the wild.  I fell into the "happy relationship weight gain" group at one point with a dash of "medication-induced obesity" thrown in for good measure.  But now with CICO I've lost 32 lbs (155 to 123) & am trying to get my family on board with some healthy lifestyle changes.  My mom recently lost 17 lbs. by counting calories & making healthier food choices.  (No exercise or other changes).  I'm super proud of her!  Breaking through that wall of complacency is often the hardest part.

If you have any tips or tricks that have helped you stick to the CICO plan, leave them in the comments!  I'd love to get a discussion started.

Benn vs. McClellan: The Fight That (Should've) Changed Boxing

At one time, boxing was as popular as American football is today.  Even at the height of its popularity, only the most impoverished men from hardscrabble backgrounds chose boxing as a career path due to the physical risks of the sport.  It was the first sport in which CTE (chronic traumatic encephalopathy) was identified, though it was referred to as "dementia pugilistica" or "punch drunk syndrome" back in the 1920s.  While CTE is a slow-moving, fatal disease resulting from repeated blows to the head, what happened to Gerald McClellan was a different type of catastrophic brain injury that caused a sudden static form of damage.  In a single fight he lost all of his eyesight, 85% of his hearing, much of his cognitive/memory function & the ability to walk unassisted.

And the infuriating part is it could've been prevented at many points during the match.

Gerald McClellan with his controversial fighting dogs

Gerald McClellan ("G-Man" to fans) was a skilled middleweight fighter & 2-time world champion in his weight class.  He was known as a mean & thuggish figure with a history of dogfighting & animal cruelty that didn't exactly endure him to some fans.  His favorite pre-fight activity was watching taped pitbull fights to amp himself up.  Don King was sponsoring McClellan & promoted him as a "Mini-Mike Tyson".  Needless to say, he had a lot invested in his winning.

Opponent Nigel Benn, known at the time as the "Dark Destroyer" & "Satan's Right Hand Man" in his native UK, held world championships in 2 weight classes.  He lived a freewheeling lifestyle back then, pounding booze & taking drugs like candy & engaging in epic orgies between beating people bloody in the ring.  He's since turned his life around with Christian counseling & become a dedicated family man.  Hey, whatever works.

Nigel Benn in his prime

Background

Fight preview teaser

Gerald McClellan had surgery on his right hand & had been out of the ring for 5 months prior to this fight, which undoubtedly played a role in his handicap here.  How could it not?  Additionally, some rumors have floated around about a potential pre-existing brain injury leading up to the fight with Benn, though there is no confirmed proof of this.  There are claims that he was blinking excessively in sparring practice & may have been seriously injured in a recent fight with power puncher Julian Jackson, though this is all speculation.

I don't discount this theory but I also think it's entirely possible to sustain those type of injuries from the single fight he endured with Benn.  Boxing fans have a tendency to downplay the risks & make excuses for why this or that fighter ended up disabled, but in reality 10 rounds of hard hits to every part of the head is sufficient to cause a blood clot like McClellan suffered.  Everyone's threshold for brain damage is different, which is part of what makes TBI & CTE so scary.  More on that later.

Fight Night

The fateful 1995 match started off with a bang, literally, when McClellan knocked Benn out of the ring through the ropes in the 1st round.  There are some fans who believe the fight should've been stopped there due to Benn taking too long to get back in the ring, but it continued.  From this point things only got more heated.  This is one of the loudest, most exciting fights I've ever watched.  Both men gave it their all but it's clear McClellan was tiring out after the first few rounds.  It looked like an even match until about the 5th round when he started swinging wildly & had taken a few too many hard hits to the head.  (Nigel Benn's punches were absolutely wicked).  By the end of Round 5 McClellan couldn't keep his mouth guard in place & appeared to have trouble breathing.  It went airborne after some brutal head punches at the end of Round 6.  At this point the fight would definitely be stopped in today's more cautious atmosphere.

The crowd was so roaring loud the boxers couldn't even hear the bell ring between rounds.  It was truly an electric atmosphere.  Round 7 was full of illegal moves on both fighters' parts; Benn had been "rabbit-punching" McClellan in the back of the head all night & received a massive payback blow to his own brainstem here.  Miraculously, McClellan makes a huge comeback in Round 8 & beats the tar out of Benn, knocking him silly against the ropes.

The 9th round is when things went from bad to catastrophic, however.  McClellan was head-butted accidentally & the first real signs of trouble showed up.  He dropped to his knees briefly after the head butt & signaled for help but was ignored as the ref began counting, so he got back up to keep fighting.  Every hit to the head after this point can be assumed to have contributed to his permanent disability.  After returning to their corners, McClellan kept blinking & was clearly in distress, but the 5 medics present failed to intervene or raise any concern so the fight continued into Round 10.  McClellan had never gone past 8 rounds in his career.

The fight in its entirety can be watched below.  It's one of the most intense matches from start to finish in all of the '90s:

Benn vs. McClellan:  2/25/1995 (London Arena, UK)

The announcers were expecting McClellan to win by this point & his trainers were goading him on, but they underestimated just how badly he was injured.  Both men came out swinging in Round 10 but McClellan was quick to drop down to one knee after a minor hit, this time for no obvious reason.  (Although it WAS obvious he was severely hurt if you were paying attention).  He stood back up briefly before going down to a knee a third & final time, after which he lost the fight & retreated to his corner where the announcers accused him of "quitting".  Even as he lay prone on the stretcher the buffoons couldn't figure out why a fighter who had taken freight train-powered head blows for 10 rounds, struggled to breathe & received a vicious head butt would "quit" like that.  😐

Shortly before falling unconscious, McClellan complained to his trainer that it felt like "water was running" inside his head.  Yikes.  Medics put him on a stretcher with a neck brace & carried him out while the crowd was still busy celebrating Benn's win.  (Benn was later taken to the hospital as well for exhaustion, where he saw McClellan's dire situation & kissed his hand and wished him well.  However, he was told by Don King to leave before the family could arrive, fueling a manufactured feud that would last for years).  Apparently G-Man was conscious & talking when he arrived at the hospital but suddenly became drowsy & started vomiting before going into a coma.  In surgery they found a large blood clot blocking circulation to several parts of his brain.  The surgery was said to have gone well but he emerged a very different person.

The Fight of Their Lives documentary (2011)

The Aftermath

Today, McClellan is cared for by his sisters Lisa, Stacey & Sandra full time, for which they deserve an enormous amount of respect.  Each of them has children so taking on the responsibility of caring for a disabled family member can't be easy.  Don King & the rest of the boxing industry apparently haven't contributed much, if anything, to the financial care of G-Man despite profiting off him for years when he was in peak physical condition as a fighter.  After the fight, King pranced over shamelessly to Benn's corner & began congratulating him & offering his promotional services to the new champ as his client lay on the stretcher unconscious.  Classy.

Gerald with sister & caretaker Lisa

To this day, there's much controversy over who's responsible for what happened to Gerald McClellan during that fateful fight.  Most boxing fans agree it was either the referee, Gerald's trainers & promoters or a combination of the 3 who shoulder the blame, though if you ask THEM they all point the finger elsewhere.  Pathetic!  Not one of these grown men can own their part in this tragedy?  It's said that, on the ambulance ride to the hospital, a dazed McClellan asked "Did I get knocked out?" to which Don King replied coldly:  "No.  You quit like a dog."   That's the level of psychopathic opportunism this sport is filled with.  The fighters are just pawns in everyone's money-making scheme.  Once injured they're discarded forever like a wounded military veteran.  (Or perhaps like a pitbull whose best fighting days are behind him).

Some even had the gall to blame McClellan himself for his disability.  Let's think about that for a second.  The brain, which is responsible for sensory perception, judgment & every other cognitive function, gets badly injured in a fight.  How is a person with an injured brain supposed to know or communicate that they've injured said organ?  And yet McClellan did signal that he was hurt on more than one occasion during the fight--he just wasn't taken seriously.  Plus, these boxers have the pressure of promoters, trainers & the fans pushing them to keep going.  It's not realistic to expect them to throw in the towel when a sensible person would do so.  That's what referees & trainers are there for.  

One thing is certain:  Nigel Benn is not to blame.  He was merely doing the job he was paid & trained to do, as was McClellan.  In the intervening years, he's shown immense remorse & empathy toward the family, going so far as to hold fundraisers & appear in documentaries voicing his support for the Gerald & Co.  This is far from the only instance in which a professional boxer was irreparably damaged by the sport, but it serves as a reminder of how quickly circumstances can change & how callous the industry can be to its athletes.

Nigel Benn with Gerald & Lisa McClellan

Lessons Learned

Watching this match 20+ years later, it's apparent how far the sport has come in terms of recognizing when a fight needs to be stopped & which injuries should be taken seriously.  But there's still a long way to go.  The entire point of boxing & MMA is to inflict damage to the head & body of your opponent, so avoiding all risk will never be possible.  As we learn more about how repeated hits to the head affect the brain, perhaps boxing & similar sports will be phased out altogether, though I don't see that happening in my lifetime.

Sports are too big a part of the American lifestyle for the public to give them up cold turkey--especially football, which carries just as much CTE risk as boxing.  Plenty of athletes make it to old age without any visible signs of dementia or mood problems, but that's what makes CTE so scary:  we don't know why.  What causes nice guys like Jovan Belcher or Chris Benoit to develop brain damage severe enough to trigger a murder-suicide seemingly out of the blue?  By all accounts, these guys were the most stable, friendly people you could ever meet until one day they weren't any more.

Retro Report:  Boxing's decline due to health concerns. Is football next?

And of course professional sports aren't the only route to chronic head trauma or TBI.  Domestic violence (child abuse, intimate partner violence, etc), military service in warzones, car wrecks & other forms of injury to the head are all capable of causing life-altering & sometimes permanent changes in personality, cognition, mood & functioning.  We need more public education campaigns to raise awareness about this health menace because the costs--financial, personal & social--are immense.  Your brain is the most complex & fragile organ in your body & you only get one.  Protecting it from avoidable damage is vital for your mental health & every other aspect of your life.

Nigel Benn has fared better than his opponent health-wise but speaks with a noticeable mumble that wasn't there in his younger years, which is common among former boxers.  It's impossible to predict what additional health problems these men will develop as they age, but the effects of brain damage tend to worsen when combined with the natural effects of aging on the brain.  Benn also attempted suicide by asphyxiation due to the guilt of cheating on his wife, though it's likely some of that depression stems from head trauma.  The number of pro athletes whose lives descend into a series of reckless choices involving drugs, financial gambles, sex addiction, violence & ultimately suicide due to CTE is truly terrifying.  Even in the absence of full-blown CTE, it's undeniable that repeated blows to the head have an effect on things like mood & cognitive functioning.  No organ in the body could take a such a beating & not end up with serious damage.

The question is whether it's worth participating in these sports in the first place and knowing where to draw the line.  How much damage is too much?  How young is too young to start--too old to continue?  Are you willing to potentially sacrifice your ability to speak clearly, recall words & events, regulate your mood/emotions, control your impulses, make good business decisions & manage your temper for the sake of playing a sport you love & maybe earning some money at it one day? 

Only you can decide that, but at least make an informed decision by knowing all the possible outcomes first.  It's easy to get swept up in the promise of the wealth & glory of being a pro athlete--recruiters are counting on that.  But the years spent enjoying the fun bits will be short compared to the decades you'll be forced to live in a mind & body damaged by the sport if you're unlucky.  And the fallout often begins much earlier than you plan for, such as in your late 30s or early 40s.  Junior Seau (42), Chris Benoit (40), Aaron Hernandez (27) & Ryan Freel (36) all committed suicide before age 45 & all had CTE at autopsy.  If you have any doubt as to whether a sports organization cares about your health & safety, just look at Gerald McClellan & these other athletes & you'll have your answer.

I don't know whether McClellan & Benn would turn back the clock & make a different decision if they had the chance, but Benn refers to boxing as a 'road to death' for himself.  His son Conor is now a pro boxer which must be pretty nerve-wracking for him but also a likely source of pride.  Sports like boxing are a double-edged sword, carrying both a sense of excitement, glory & bravery as well as the risk of injury & disability.  One thing is certain though:  what you don't know about brain injury CAN hurt you.

Nigel's son Conor Benn (right)

Epilogue

Okay, maybe the Benn/McClellan fight didn't actually "change" boxing, but the sport definitely changed them forever.  Sadly, a number of similar situations happened in decades prior, with fighters Benny Paret, Willie Classen, Duk Koo Kim & Cleveland Denny all dying from brain injuries sustained in the ring.  While boxing is no longer as big as football--broadcast during prime time on the Big 3 networks, advertised everywhere, etc--it remains a dangerous sport with potentially deadly consequences.  Change has been gradual but hopefully what happened to Gerald McClellan has had a positive impact on the sport in some small way. 

If you'd like to donate to the G-Man's trust fund, check out his official webpage here.  I'm sure his family would be eternally grateful.  

Falling Dominoes (Oakland Decriminalizes Psychedelics!)

"Psychscape 18" by Oakland artist Terri Loewenthal

America's drug laws have long been among the strictest in the world.  Since Nixon declared the War on Drugs in the '60s & Reagan renewed it with vicious fervor in the 1980s, this country has suffered one drug epidemic after another while some of our best & brightest languished in prison for minor drug possession.  Bill Clinton's '3 Strikes Crime Bill' pushed it over the edge, causing the U.S. to the have the largest incarceration rate in the entire world.

And then the mood started to shift.  It was a gradual shift, almost imperceptible, until momentum built up & things reached a boiling point. 

The first domino fell when Colorado legalized cannabis in 2012.  Other states were quick to follow.  It seemed like a no-brainer yet it took 80+ years to make it happen.  Then Denver once again blazed the trail by decriminalizing psilocybin "magic" mushrooms in 2019 by a slim margin of the vote.  People were stunned:  Could this really be happening?  Weed is one thing, but could the "tough on crime" U.S. of A. really be allowing hallucinogenic mushrooms to become semi-legal?  Then on June 5th, 2019, Oakland CA took it one step further & decriminalized ALL plant-based psychedelics, including mushrooms, cacti, iboga & Ayahuasca.  Shut the front door!  

I've always said that plant drugs should be the first to be legalized/decriminalized for the simple fact that they're natural resources.  Not that they're inherently safer than synthetic drugs (though many are), it's the principle of the matter--anything that grows on this Earth & was here before humans has no business being illegal.  The idea of banning nature is ludicrous & shows just how egotistical our lawmakers can truly be.  Plus, it's never been illegal to grow deadly datura or deathcap mushrooms so why should lawmakers be able to ban only the mind-expanding ones with recreational potential that rarely (if ever) kill anyone?

Man uses magic mushrooms to prevent cluster headaches

Like cannabis, psychedelic plants have a long history of being used as medicines, particularly in psychotherapy & addiction treatment.  Ibogaine (from the African iboga root) has been shown to treat severe opioid addiction while Ayahuasca has been used by war veterans to help break through their PTSD.  Psilocybin mushrooms also have the weird-but-welcome benefit of treating cluster headaches--one of the most severe forms of pain known to man.  No one is quite sure how they work but anecdotally they have been a lifesaver for many sufferers.  Meanwhile the peyote plant, which contains mescaline, has been the spiritual sacrament of the Native American Church for many years, helping users attain nirvana & ward off alcoholism & other destructive habits. 

Peyote cacti

While psychedelic plants won't be available for purchase in stores like marijuana, they will no longer be treated as a priority by law enforcement when present in personal use amounts.  Driving under the influence, selling commercially or to underage people & manufacturing of the plants will remain illegal under Oakland law.  Plants that fall into different categories and aren't true hallucinogens, such as opium poppies or coca, will still be illegal as well.  Hopefully that will change as our drug laws continue to soften, but for now let's celebrate this victory & help keep the momentum going by being responsible citizens.  (Looking at you, Denver & Oakland). 

Iboga root

This psychedelic renaissance is in step with what's going on in medicine at the moment.  Ketamine as a treatment for resistant depression is another novel and once-forbidden approach that's gaining traction as a legit avenue.  There have also been studies on MDMA's effects on social anxiety in autistic adults, though that may be further from becoming a clinical reality.  And, much to my dismay, there was an opioid-based antidepressant (ALKS-5461) that was on the road to being fast-tracked to approval by the FDA but just missed the mark due to insufficient proof of effectiveness.  It might still hit the market one day but not this year like I'd hoped.  Still, it's promising that these novel avenues are even being considered by our draconian regulators. 

Ayahuasca brew (B. caapi vine & Psychotria viridis)

All of this is mind-blowingly great news for those who have lived long enough to remember when you could go to prison for a single pot seed or stem.  The progress made in the last decade is more than the past 35 years combined.  I never thought I'd live to see marijuana legalized and now I'm seeing cities decriminalize psychedelics, which is a class of drugs the government has always treated as on par with heroin (or worse).  Psychedelics were used by the hippies & Vietnam protesters of the 1960s & thus demonized thoroughly.  For instance, LSD is measured by the weight of the carrier material it's on--be it blotter paper, sugar cubes or whatever--instead of the actual amount of LSD, thus making for a much longer prison sentence for those caught with it.  This was not an accident.  People caught dealing in acid often go away for a lot longer than those caught with cocaine, heroin or other hard drugs.  (To be clear, LSD is not legal under Oakland's new law.  I'm just using it as an example since it's one of the more well-known hallucinogens).  The propaganda associated with hallucinogens has always been terrifying & over-the-top, as you can see in the video below:

Vintage LSD propaganda

The ability of hallucinogens to expand the mind & change the way we view society & our place in it is a direct threat to the establishment's control and, as we saw in the 1960s, authority figures don't like that.  We'll have to safeguard these newly won freedoms by being sensible & following the rules.  Don't fucking drive while tripping; don't share your drugs with teenagers & don't try to grow your own Secret Garden of ethnobotanicals in your backyard.  K?  Remember that we've still got a long way to go before we can truly be "free".  There's still a war on kratom--another age-old botanical that's helped thousands get off harder drugs safely, which just proves that the war on drugs is far from over.  But today we celebrate winning this battle.

Congrats, Oakland!  💪😎