Ladies and not-so-gentlemen, I present to you: the Sexual Market Value Calculator. No, this is not tongue-in-cheek or satire. You choose your sex and from there, you enter things like your income, mental health markers, weight/height, ethnicity, education and--if you're a woman--a whole host of extra physical traits like "waist-hip ratio" and "breast size"--to find out how much you're worth to the opposite sex. I laughed out loud at my results, which read in part as follows:
I know where I'm going on my next vacation. (The red & yellow zones!)
"Better than 61.6% of women. " Take that, women!
"Therapy, meds, time". Because that's worked wonders so far. 🙄
Thanks a lot South Asian men!
Seriously, I don't recommend using this thing unless you're either so gay you WANT men to reject you or your self-esteem is so solid you don't mind being ripped to shreds by a faux-scientific tool like this (honestly, "peer-reviewed data"?) Because big yikes. There's truly nothing to be gained from it except a simmering rage. At men and whoever raised them to be this entitled and emotionally destitute. At the self-hating women who uphold this absurd hierarchy of oppression by "going along to get along". At the capitalistic worldview that treats invaluable things as commodities. At E V E R Y T H I N G .
I think 20 year old me would've spiraled into a 2-week depression after being called a "6.5," but [current age] me sees this for what it is: a half-baked, sloppy attempt to keep women firmly in their "place" by ranking us according to superficial things like age, subjective beauty and disability level, all of which we have no control over. But more than that, it tells us a little too much about what men really think of us as human beings (and by extension, about their warped values).
You see ladies, the Sexual Market Value Calculator is not about your worth but theirs. It's a window offering us a glimpse inside the minds of all those "nice guys" you meet on Tinder whose niceness mysteriously fades when you want to keep things platonic... the guy friend who seems almost giddy when you're struggling with relationship problems and a tad dejected when you're happy and thriving. The 20-something Andrew Tate-obsessed incel who spends 2 hours a day in the gym and 16 hours a day on 4-Chan... the 74 year old "harmless" Miami retiree in a Speedo who spends his days drinking and "just complimenting pretty girls on the beach, officer, I swear"...
In case you still aren't seeing it: MEN ARE NOT OKAY. They do not see you as a friend or an equal or a human being on their level and nothing you do is going to change that.
The very term "sexual market value" is pure nonsense outside of prostitution, which is apparently how men view dating and relationships: as a transactional capitalist game where one's worth is determined entirely by superficial traits like a man's wealth and a woman's beauty. This is already a raw deal for women who are considered "over the hill" at 30, but even that low bar isn't being cleared by men these days in many hetero relationships...
I've seen so many jobless men try and "trap" women by knocking them up and then talking them into keeping the baby while they're hormonal and vulnerable, promising them the world only to pull the rug out once the kid is born. He moves in and expects to be waited on hand and foot like a manchild, doesn't help with the baby OR hold a steady job. The baby becomes a pawn to control the mother and her purse strings. The few fathers who are employed nearly always expect their working wives to come home and do 90-100% of the housework and childrearing too. I've even seen a few shameless aspiring pimps going the Andrew Tate route, "encouraging" their girlfriends to strip, sell themselves on OnlyFans or IRL as an escort/prostitute while they play Xbox and "goon" all day. (No names, but you definitely know who tf you are).
And I'm supposed to care that there's a "male loneliness epidemic" when you rate my worth as a human based on the appearance of my body parts... parts you would likely force me to sell if you could? Excuse me while I laugh until I choke, throw up in my mouth a little and keep right on laughing, choking and vomiting until the sun explodes and swallows the Earth. 🌞💥🌏
The Male Mindset: Nature AND Nurture
Objectification in action, Exhibit Y(ikes)
Of course I got my education about how men really view us when I was just 12 and stealing my dad's porno mags, which gave me priceless insight into how men think. All the content was written and photographed by men, which meant even something I'd normally find hot (like a lesbian sex scene featuring two gorgeous women) could be made repulsive and offensive with the sickening word choice and tone. I knew then that I never wanted to be naked in front of a man in a sexual setting, lest I feel like a gazelle standing in front of a hungry lion on the Savannah. (It wasn't until a few years later that I actually became that gazelle, which only further cemented what I already suspected to be true). You never know what men are thinking, but you can be sure it's degrading and often predatory or violent--a far cry from the flowery romance novels, soap operas and fanfics of women's fantasies.
As much as I don't want to believe in the "male brain/female brain" thing, it's impossible not to notice the glaring differences in the way we experience basic human emotions like love, lust, passion, disappointment and anger. Some of this can be blamed on social conditioning, but not all of it. Sex hormones like progesterone, estrogen, DHT, DHEA and testosterone really DO have a measurable effect on mood, thinking and personality--denying that is courting pseudoscience. The fact that men are so much more likely to be serial killers, gang rapists, terrorists and family annihilators who do things like dismembering their pregnant partners is proof this is a biological difference. (Some of those crimes are 100% male).
But when you realize that they're already mentally dismembering us by rating our individual body parts from 1-10 and objectifying us at every turn, you start to understand that murder is not an aberration but the extreme end of a very long spectrum--an almost logical conclusion to the twisted fantasies they harbor and normalize via porn, advertising, movies, etc.
Case in point: the vagina bagels. 🥯
Strong/independent = undesirable. So is "settling down." Young/naive = prime quality.
For any dudefolk who may be reading this, the image above is NOT how vaginas work. Whether you sleep with the same dick 100 times or 100 dicks 1 time apiece, it has the same effect on your anatomy: a negligible one. The vaginal canal can accommodate a full-term human baby, which DOES cause stretching and laxity (but generally nothing like the bagel picture above). Most sex toys are far larger than actual human penises... or at least I think they are. Most are too big for me anyway, yet I've never met or heard of a woman who was experiencing prolapse due to dildo or vibrator use. Not one.
Now sexually transmitted diseases are a different story. A higher lifetime body count increases your risk even when using protection, as not all STDs can be prevented with barriers (HPV, herpes & other skin-to-skin diseases). And women tend to contract STDs more easily from men than the other way around due to anatomy & the mechanics of PIV sex. Still, protected sex with 50 men would be safer than unprotected sex with a cheating husband, so it's all relative to your situation. Point being, none of it will "stretch out" or loosen your vag (but bearing & birthing some man's big-headed baby likely will).
...another day, another reason I'm SO glad to be gay. 🏳🌈 Imagine granting someone access to the most intimate part of your body when they don't have the slightest clue how it works and only value it based on how it makes THEM feel. Straight women, you're in my prayers. Part 2 coming soon.
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