[Review] - Cannabis Flower: Apple Tartz

Apple Tartz is in my Top 3 strains from this dispensary run.  This mouthwatering hybrid hype strain is a cross between the famous Runtz & Apple Fritter, another crowd favorite.  It's so new it doesn't yet have a Leafly or Wikileaf page but what I could dig up was that it was bred by Clearwater Genetics and is caryophyllene dominant, with one page claiming it leans sativa and is a "morning strain" while the other recommends it for "Friday night stress reduction."  Go figure.

As with the other strains from this unique dispensary, this Apple Tartz strain comes with no terpene, cannabinoid or sativa/indica percentage information.  You can see from the pic below that the flowers are squished due to the way they're packaged in a bag instead of a bottle.  The buds are fat and chunky with orange pistils and gleaming terpene globs.  And the smell is as true to the name as could be expected from marijuana:  Spicy, acidic and ever-so-slightly apple-like.  Sort of reminds me of apple cider.  Mixed with weed of course.  I remain astonished at how this plant can produce so many unique aromas but it truly does have a faint Granny Smith smell, y'all.  

Apple Tartz:  Photo #2

I roll it in a raspberry flavored joint and head outside in sweltering heat for a smoke with my sister.  There's a stray dog in our yard that we're trying to tame and he doesn't seem to mind the smell of the bud at all.  This strain gives a nice internal warmth and feeling of well-being without being sedating, making it great for afternoon use.  I feel giggly but in control after finishing the half-joint, happily uplifted for a couple hours.  No major comedown to speak of.  Moderate munchies.  

Runtz was Leafly.com's #1 strain of 2020 so I'd like to try it sometime.  If it's anything like Apple Tartz, it'll be fragrant & pleasure-inducing.  And Apple Fritter sounds absolutely magnificent--a favorite of heavy smokers on sites like Reddit.  There are tons of Runtz crosses and this one definitely stands out, at least among the 8 strains I picked up on this run, a few of which include Alien Fire, Super Skunk, Tangie & Banana Cake.  

Overall I give Apple Tartz a 4.8 of 5 stars for aroma, bag appeal, uniqueness and effects.  While not the most potent or euphoric strain I've ever tried, it had me coming back for more due to its 'happy middle' effects.  Not too stimulating or sedating which is something I look for.  If a strain can make me smile and feel uplifted for an hour or so, that's all I can really ask for.  I'd recommend Apple Tartz for anyone seeking a mouthwatering strain that treats depression, anxiety, pain & PTSD.  Though you may have to grow it yourself at this point as she's pretty rare.  

Blocked by Leftbook!

First world problem alert:  Trivial bitching ahead.  If you're having actual problems and aren't in the mood to hear it, skip this article.  

The other day I was scrolling my FB feed and came across this cutesy meme about sex traffi--er, I mean "sex work" on a Leftbook page I follow:  

The fantasy...

In an uncharacteristic move, I gave into the urge to make a dissenting comment sharing my views on the issue which went something like this:  "We should absolutely treat sex workers with dignity but I disagree with the statement "sex work is work" like any other job."  This set off an avalanche of pissy male comments insinuating I had a stick up my ass including one from an alleged ex-prostitute (also male) who said he didn't regret his time whoring after I said I was "sorry he went through that experience".  At no time was I sarcastic, facetious or otherwise rude.  He asked why I had a problem with sex work to which I replied with statistics on rape, murder, suicide, disease and other dangers of the sex industry and why I felt that promoting it was a negative for the leftist movement and that was that.  

Or so I thought. 

I went back to check later only to find that I couldn't see my comments or respond to the thread anymore as comments were turned off.  Weird!  Had I been so offensive (or effective?) in my argument they just decided to shut the thread down?  Nope.  As it turns out, I'd been blocked from commenting or following the page entirely as I found the next day.  This was my first time being blocked from a whole ass Facebook page, and one that I actually enjoyed/interacted with semi-regularly.  And over a comment that contained no slurs, insults, threats or inflammatory statements whatsoever.  Just a difference of opinion.  

On the one hand, I'm not surprised as the left has a serious problem with shutting down discussions and viewpoints they disagree with.  The whole "de-platforming" thing, which is an $1100 word for censorship.  On the other hand it's infuriating to see a bunch of white men on a supposedly Marxist, pro-Black page promoting sex work--a dangerous trade that supports itself on the backs of poor women and girls--silencing the opinions of women like me.  Women who aren't even saying anything hateful but simply quoting statistics!  How is any movement supposed to function without healthy dialogue and disagreement?  There's nothing democratic about that; it's a fucking dictatorship where power can't be challenged and uncomfortable truths aren't allowed to be voiced.

The reality.

To top it all off, the (all white male) comments disagreeing with and insulting me were left up while mine were removed.  The only reason I include the sex and race of the commenters is because it's relevant to the page itself, which deals in Black leftist & socialist issues while priding itself on its progressiveness.  I don't want to get too specific or give them attention, but yeah.  The more I think about it, the more it feels like an op.  I suspect a lot of these so-called "left" pages are.  We've got one billionaire on his way to being the world's first trillionaire and another attempting to colonize Mars while us lefties are down here treating sex work like a win.  Yet we wonder why we're not further along with basic shit like acquiring mandatory paid sick leave & universal healthcare?  

By all means, do what you have to do to survive but that doesn't mean we have to make those dangerous, demeaning things a central part of the movement.  We deserve better.  If you wouldn't flaunt slaving in a coalmine or spending 6 days a week shoveling shit in the sewer, why would you make prostitution a point of pride?  It's more hazardous than either of those professions, as is working in the porn industry.  I could quote statistics all day but facts seem to bore or irritate people so I'm done with that.  You have access to the same information as I do via search engines.  It should be common sense:  nobody dreams of being a sex worker when they grow up or teaches their kid to be one, yet here we are trying to normalize it.  Who benefits?

Have we gotten so used to existing in late stage capitalist hell that we're promoting things like selling humans as a legit profession?  Shouldn't we focus that energy and rage toward our oppressors instead of inward or at each other?  The elites are laughing at our peasant mindset while the next Jeffrey Epstein buys all the little girls he can recruit.  Don't make it easy for them, ffs.  (Unless you ARE one of those buyers of humans, which I suspect some of you who support sex work so vocally are.  Consuming porn counts as well.  Most of us have been guilty of that at times, myself included).  

In case I haven't made it clear, nothing I've said here equals "looking down on sex workers" or promoting their incarceration.  Quite the contrary.  I see them as victims of poverty and circumstance, usually a lifetime of abuse and trauma beyond anything I could conceive.  And I certainly don't think they belong in prison, filling our already-crowded cells for simply trying to survive and make money off their own bodies or worse, being forced to do so by a pimp.  It's the pimps and johns who belong in prison.  The people who buy and sell human beings like dogs for a few minutes of sick pleasure.  

This whole episode is just one more reason I'm politically homeless.  Both "sides" are full of narcissists and hypocrites with cult mindsets where heretics are banished for speaking out of turn.  There's no room for independent thought or questioning the party line.  The right considers women private property and the left considers us public property.  Left or right, we remain Under His Eye.  

Harm Reduction: Spotting Counterfeit Pills

Recently I was popping codeine tablets out of their blister packs and came across a defect:  one pill was cut in half inside its blister.  This sent my OCD mind into a tailspin, researching counterfeit medications from around the world.  Previously I assumed that if something came in its original box inside a sealed blister pack it couldn't be fake.  Apparently that's not the case.  

Before you freak out, the problem with these overseas "fakes" is not the same as America's street pills that often contain pressed fentanyl or other heavy drugs made to look like Xanax, Percocet or hydrocodone.  No, in countries like South Africa or Malaysia, medications such as Panadol (Tylenol) or codeine-containing meds are sometimes counterfeited using things like baking soda or Plaster of Paris and contain lower doses of the stated active ingredients which is still problematic but not quite as deadly.  

When we talk about counterfeits, we're not talking about generic or off-brand pills which are perfectly safe medications made by less well-known pharmaceutical companies than the big brands like Eli Lilly or Pfizer.  Counterfeits are fake pills made to look like the real medications they mimic.  They contain a combination of wrong ingredients pressed into the shape of the real thing.  There seems to be some confusion about this when it comes up online.  

(This article contains photos and excerpts from various articles I found around the internet.  Direct quotes and lifted photos are used.  If any author has a problem with what's re-posted here, please contact me and I'll take it down.  My intent is to educate and spread knowledge to keep people safe).  

Can you spot the fakes?  (Answer below).

The clues are subtle: the tablet at the top has a slightly longer 'f' in the company logo, while the bottom two tablets are a greyish blue and have rougher edges.

The tablet at the top is a genuine medicine. The two lower tablets are fake. They could be diluted, contaminated, or even just chalk.

A counterfeit medicine could have:

• no active ingredient
• substandard ingredients
• undeclared ingredients
• illegal or dangerous ingredients
• incorrect dosage (too much, too little or variation in dose across tablets)
• contaminants from unhygienic manufacture.
  

 

Misspellings ("ClaxoSmithCline")

Rough edges on Malaysian pills = counterfeit

Nguyen Van Gia, the owner of a drugstore on Hai Ba Trung street, said painkillers/antipyretic drugs are the most easily counterfeited and can easily be sold because they are usually sold without a doctor’s prescription. 

Gia said the drug counterfeiting technology now is sophisticated. “You just need to make some phone calls to Guangzhou, China to order the machines for counterfeiting. Chinese partners will also provide wrappings of some well-known pharmacy firms in the world,” he said. 

“They either 100 percent counterfeit the drug, i.e there is no active element in the drugs, or make the drug with the wrong dose. For example, a drug product is declared as containing 500 mg of active element, but in fact, it has 400 mg or lower,” he said.  --- Excerpt from Vietnamese article

Excellent guide to spotting counterfeits

Contrast this with America's counterfeit pills, such as these "Adderall" tablets made by Mexican cartels and trafficked into the U.S.  They actually contain meth as the active ingredient.  This is a direct consequence of the drug war and is not common with over-the-counter medications like low-dose codeine, tramadol or Viagra medicines in countries like Peru or India.

Counterfeit Adderall tablets on top

So while you may receive counterfeit medication from overseas, it's still safer than buying prescription black market pills in the U.S. or Canada due to the rampant problems with fentanyl and other dangerous adulterants in our drug supply.  This goes equally for the dark web and your local drug dealer.  If you don't personally see your dealer walk out of the pharmacy with the prescription, assume it's fake.  People are dying from counterfeit meds at an alarming rate here, and no one's immune.  Celebrities including Prince, Shock G, Lil' Peep, Tom Petty, Mac Miller & Michelle McNamara died from accidental fentanyl overdoses in recent years.  

The only way to be 100% certain what's in your drugs is to test them.  There are labs that will do this for you if you send in a sample, or you can buy a reagent testing kit for yourself.  There is no foolproof way to "eyeball" it and know for certain that what you've got is the real deal, but using the tips above you can rule out the obvious counterfeits.  

 

Hey, you!  If you found this article helpful, drop something in one of the accounts below.  Google AdSense does not support "drug-related content" so I rely on your contributions to keep this site going.  Every penny (or Bitpenny) helps.  ❤

Cash App:
cash.me/$apphicomrade

BITCOIN:
18cwb3qFkGghVqqzNSX59EFypzzF8Dd7Vg

BITCOIN CASH:
qz84t4ua2achx90a7yk8efelvufggflhu5tzalry7l

[Review] - Hemp Flower: Five Leaf Wellness - Tonic Berry

Five Leaf Wellness is a hemp company located in Chattanooga, Tennessee that sells a variety of products ranging from plain flower to pet treats & hemp concentrate.  If you read my previous review, you'll know that I was highly impressed with their Mendo x Royal Kush flower so I'm going into this one with high hopes.  For the downlow on Five Leaf's pricing, packaging & shipping, see that review linked above.  It's all covered there.

Tonic Berry has 4 reviews on the website at the time of this writing, all of them 5-star and glowing.  This strain is a hybrid from the indoor-grown category and contains 20.5% CBDa with 0.6% THCa and a total of 23.8% cannabinoids.  (View full lab analysis here).  Like the Mendo x Royal Kush, it's hand-trimmed and has a ton of bag appeal with long, dense buds covered in trichomes.  The aroma is sour and hits the nose in the same place as fresh lemon or lime zest with a hint of pine when broken up.  (The stench is nowhere near as strong and lingering as the other strain, thankfully, as I need to be discreet).  And it breaks up beautifully due to the immaculate dry job--my #1 concern with hemp.  The website lists its parents as Cannatonic and Berry Blossom.  

Tonic Berry

Now for the effects.  A joint of this burns evenly though the hits are a little less smooth than the Mendo x Royal Kush by a tiny margin.  The taste is mild as are the effects.  My head feels quiet and focused when I've finished the roach; no impairment whatsoever.  Would be a great option for any time of day or evening.  

For those who refer to hemp as "headache weed," you couldn't be more wrong.  This isn't merely low-quality marijuana but high quality CBD dominant bud... there is a difference.  When I suffered migraines daily this stuff was a lifesaver so that theory is out the window.  It won't get you high but that's kinda the point.  Some folks are actually seeking the medicinal effects without the mind-bending effects of THC.  Me?  I use it to fill out my weed joints and balance THC's effects but the possible uses are endless.  I can't really tell a difference in terms of subjective effects when it comes to hemp strains (i.e. stimulating, relaxing) but this burns well and is high quality for sure.  You couldn't find better CBD bud in a medical dispensary, basically.  Not sure where the "Berry" name came from though as there's not even a hint of berry smell or taste--she's all citrus and pine.  But this is a great find in a market full of "Suver Haze" and "Lifter" replicas.

All in all, I give Tonic Berry 4.8 of 5 stars for price, effects & bag appeal.  While slightly harsher & less potent in the smell department than the Mendo x Royal Kush, this strain is top-shelf CBD flower in every regard.  You'd be a fool to pass this strain up when it's available on Five Leaf Wellness's website. 

Smoking vs. Vaping Weed: Which is Safer?

We all know that smoking carries inherent risks to the lungs and airways.  Vaping has been sold as a safer method of cannabis consumption, and it's certainly more discreet.  But with all the news about vaping lung disease (EVALI), serious doubts have begun to rise about whether this method is safer than smoking.  So which is truly better for your health?  

First, let's dispel some of the myths about smoking cannabis.  While weed smoke is an airway irritant that can cause coughing and worsening of conditions like bronchitis or asthma for some people, it is not known to cause lung cancer the way tobacco does.  Tobacco causes cancer even without combustion (see: chewing tobacco/snuff) because it's inherently carcinogenic.  That's largely due to the way it's grown using fertilizers that break down into radioactive elements like polonium-210 and radon.  Not the case for cannabis which has anti-tumor properties.  This idea that it's the "tar" in smoke that causes lung cancer is a myth.  That doesn't mean it's good to inhale burning plant matter in large doses every day.  Common sense dictates that doing so would lead to airway inflammation and potentially damage to the throat or lungs over time, at least for some people.  

Nicotine also has vasoconstricting properties that lead to heart and vascular damage and cause airways to tighten; the opposite is true with cannabis smoke, which is a bronchodilator.  Anyone who has smoked both cigarettes and cannabis will tell you the two types of smoke affect the lungs VERY differently, with weed causing the characteristic coughing fit it's so known for.  This is because it's actually opening your airways & helping you cough up sputum.  Again, that doesn't mean it's good for you, just that it has little in common with tobacco smoke.  

Tobacco is inherently carcinogenic.  Cannabis is not... even when smoked.

Vape cartridges on the other hand are a relatively new phenomenon compared to smoking cannabis which is as old as time.  While touted as safe, we've seen waves of death & disability caused by contaminated vape carts thought to contain Vitamin E acetate (though in some cases the cause was not 100% nailed down).  There's still much we don't know about the effects of vaping on the lungs and with all the ingredients that can be present in a single cartridge, it can be next to impossible to ensure safety.  We know it's bad to vape lipids like Vitamin E, but what else?  Can the parts of the cartridge itself cause illness?  Food-grade terpenes as opposed to cannabis-derived?  What if the weed in the distillate was grown with pesticides or growth regulators like Eagle-20?  Too. Many. Variables.  

As someone who has only bought vape carts from licensed medical dispensaries and gotten nasty side effects from ALL of them after using only small amounts, I can attest that something is awry in the vape cart industry.  Indeed, Leafly dropped a disturbing article about the lack of regulation and changes since the EVALI outbreak that pretty much confirmed my suspicions.  That's not to say vaping liquid cannabis distillate can't be made safe with the right regulations, but right now I don't trust even the medical industry to do this.  Quite frankly, I don't think enough is known about all the different safety factors of vaping distillate, terpenes, carrier materials, etc to even set that type of legislation in motion.  And that's a shame because it really is one of the most discreet ways to enjoy a quick, discreet hit.  

One of the endless guides to choosing "safe" vape carts (Ccell battery)

So what's the hands-down safest way to inhale your weed?  The answer is simple:  dry herb vaping.  This involves heating dry flower to a temperature below combustion rather than vaping from a liquid cartridge.  There are virtually none of the risks of smoking OR using a liquid cartridge and you only have to buy one vape device (though it can cost around $300 for a good one).  The biggest drawback is the smell--definitely not discreet like vape carts, and some of the devices can be large & clunky.  I haven't personally invested in a dry herb vape yet but it's on my to-do list.  Here's a full article on some of the vapes shown below if you'd like to learn more.

Assortment of dry herb vaporizers

Barring that, smoking from a device like a (clean) bong that cools and filters your hits is probably the second best option.  I could get into the weeds (pun intended) with all the high-tech gravity bongs & other devices out there these days that are above my paygrade, but the take-home message here is that filtering your smoke is gonna be better for your throat and lungs than hitting it straight.  Obviously edibles would be better than all of these but we're focusing on inhaled methods so that's another topic for another day.  

Do you have a favorite dry herb vape that's both affordable and durable?  Sound off in the comments!  I'm still shopping around for mine and will probably update with an article when I decide.  

[Review] - Hemp Flower: Five Leaf Wellness - Mendo x Royal Kush

Five Leaf Wellness is a hemp company located in Chattanooga, Tennessee.  They sell a number of products including flower, tincture, edibles and pet treats.  The flower comes in three varieties:  indoor, outdoor and greenhouse-grown.  I'm not entirely sure what the distinction is in terms of quality but the outdoor is the most expensive, which seems counter-intuitive based on cannabis pricing/quality standards.  (But hey, maybe hemp is grown to a different standard than regular weed?)  

Many of their items are sold out--okay, the vast majority--so I settle on two that are in stock and look best of the available options:  Mendo x Royal Kush and Tonic Berry.  This review is for the former.  All their photos look incredible and top-shelf, though the website is a bit clunky to navigate.  Setting up an account is quick and painless but checkout took like 15 minutes because my card details wouldn't go through for some reason.  The CAPTCHA kept messing up.  No biggie, it eventually worked but be warned if it's your first time ordering:  you may have to be persistent.  I ended up spending $54 on 5 grams and qualifying for free shipping.  Dope!

Mendo x Royal Kush

Mendo x Royal Kush is listed as having 21% CBDa and 0.901% THC with a whopping 26.95% total cannabinoids.  You can view the lab report here.  This indica-dominant hybrid is a cross between the two parent strains and is said to be popular for evening use, though I've never really been able to tell much difference in hemp strain effects since it's mostly CBD.  My main criteria is a high-quality texture.  Is it dried and cured properly?  Most are not for whatever reason.  I'm only using it to fill out my marijuana joints and prefer that it doesn't burn the shit out of my throat.  The vast majority of hemp does unfortunately.  

My package arrived superfast:  only 3 days after ordering, which is damn speedy for First Class shipping.  Packaging was as discreet as could be; everything was vacuum sealed and there was a disclaimer for law enforcement stating that the contents were hemp rather than marijuana. (I don't know how far this would actually go if the package were opened en route, however, as there was no lab report included and I've had packages WITH lab reports seized by the Postal Inspector before).  And boy was this hemp smelly:  upon breaking the vacuum sealed package, I was hit with the most pungent aroma since walking in my local dispensary.  But not one iota of that smell escaped until I broke the seal.  Nice work, Five Leaf.  

As you can tell from the photo above, the Mendo x Royal Kush buds are fat and frosty (that wasn't even the biggest nug), indistinguishable from regular cannabis.  And so is the smell.  I can't emphasize that enough.  After breaking up 3 bottles of the strain, my entire room reeks so bad I had to shut the door to keep the smell from wafting down the hall where my dad was napping.  It seriously rivals the stench of any medical mj strain.  The smell is a pungent skunk with hints of pine and lemon that lingers for hours in the air.  As for the texture, the buds were more on the moist side and could stand some curing but no worse than what I get at the dispensary.  Trim job is impeccable.  

Vacuum-sealed packaging

It breaks up nicely in my grinder and doesn't turn to dust due to the moistness.  I smoke all my hemp in joints mixed with regular weed but will do a special "plain hemp" joint to test the effects just for this review.  Though I will say there's not much distinction between hemp strains since it's mostly CBD so don't expect much of an effect profile review--they're basically all the same in that regard.  

The joint burns a bit unevenly which may be due in part to the wind which is always off the chain here.  But aside from that no real issues.  This 100% hemp joint is less harsh than expected which is a welcome change from what I was smoking before.  I had severe menstrual cramps when I went outside to smoke and am feeling almost nothing when I return inside, though I don't know if it's due to the Mendo x Kush or all the codeine I've ingested throughout the day.  But the timing suggests the hemp.  I'm not complaining one bit but it's a little hard to believe.  My head definitely feels altered after finishing an entire joint which is also hard to believe since it's just hemp (I did have a tiny corner of a 3:1 gummy earlier so perhaps there's a synergy going on).

Verdict:  This is powerful stuff and a great weapon against pain.  I give Five Leaf Wellness Mendo x Royal Kush 4.9 of 5 stars for potency, bag appeal & texture.  Shipping was lightning-fast and free, which I appreciated.  The only real drawback was the difficulty getting my order to go through and with navigating the website, which doesn't clearly show which strains are out of stock until you try to put a certain quantity of each into your cart.  There also weren't very many strains to choose from this time, but I look forward to seeing what's in stock in the future.  This is real top-shelf hemp that won't leave your throat dry & scratchy. 

 

If you enjoyed this article, drop a buck (or whatever you like) in one of the accounts below.  Google AdSense does not support "drug-related" content so I rely on your contributions to power this blog:

Cash App:
cash.me/$apphicomrade

BITCOIN:
18cwb3qFkGghVqqzNSX59EFypzzF8Dd7Vg

BITCOIN CASH:
qz84t4ua2achx90a7yk8efelvufggflhu5tzalry7l

Getting the Vaccine With Severe Health Anxiety: A Diary

This article will serve as an ongoing log of my experience with the 2-dose Pfizer COVID-19 vaccine.  Will update after the first and second dose and as needed.  Hopefully it helps someone out there who's on the fence about getting the shot, which shot to get or how to manage the side effects.  For specific questions about your health condition or other details unique to you, ask your doctor.  

As someone who lives in rural shithole America, I was unable to get the Johnson & Johnson shot I so desperately wanted.  You know, the one that's less effective overall but only requires one dose and tends to cause less severe side effects.  That's a fair trade based on my age and low-risk status:  I'm a shut-in who doesn't mind wearing a mask and washing my hands a lot so my overall COVID risk isn't as high as some.  But alas, my multiple attempts to get it failed before it was paused for causing blood clots in 6 people, so I had to choose between the two remaining shots:  Moderna and Pfizer.  (It's recently been "unpaused" but there's no telling when it'll be available in my area again so I'm not waiting).  

Now, I know it's not cool to "vaccine shop" and we're supposed to be grateful for whichever one we get, and I am.  But my situation is a bit different.  I was in therapy for severe germophobia and health anxiety for 2 years before COVID even hit, so this was a huge and terrifying decision for me.  I know if the first dose makes me sick I'll be hard pressed to go back for the second one.  Meaning I probably won't.  Then I'll be left with about 80% protection against COVID that possibly wears off sooner than if I was fully vaxxed.  Too many variables.  Also, living out here miles from a hospital, if things go awry in the night I will have to call an ambulance because it's too far for my housemates to drive.  What to do?

The Big Decision

It was a hard decision full of backpedaling and arguing with my mother, who tried to convince me on the night before my shot that it was a bad idea based on something a chiropractor told her sister.  Yes, a chiro-quack-tor.  That sealed the deal.  I was now determined to get the jab come hell or high water.  

On a deeper level, I decided to have the shot because the worst vaccine outcome is better than many of the best COVID outcomes.  Even the asymptomatic cases are leaving people with all kinds of damage, and this virus isn't going anywhere.  Meanwhile my mental health can't take another year of wearing a mask in my own house because my family members are anti-maskers who sneeze and cough into the air, and I need to do things like going to the dentist that could result in infection because the mask has to come off there.  To be clear, I'll still be wearing it in public places and in larger group settings after the shot.  But this paranoia can't go on.  This virus is too contagious and harmful to gamble with any longer.  

After extensive Googling I decided on the Pfizer shot.  I had a hunch that it was less prone to causing side effects which was then validated by this article (Moderna recipients reported slightly higher rates of side effects like headache and fatigue in trials).  The only real difference between the two are the inactive/carrier ingredients and the timing of the 2nd dose.  A few factors increase your risk of side effects:  Being under 55, being female or having had COVID previously.  I have at least 2 of those 3 risk factors.  Unfortunately I have no way of knowing whether I've had the virus at all.  I could have it now for all I know but it's best not to focus on that... right?  😨

It would be cool if they administered rapid tests and antibody tests at vaccine sites to be sure people weren't infected, as getting any vaccine while sick can result in adverse effects and COVID is so often asymptomatic.  If nothing else, they should take temperatures on site.  These are the types of details that need more investigation--not necessarily the vaccines themselves.  Coronavirus jabs have been studied since SARS arose in 2003 and are not "brand new" despite the proclamations of anti-vax fearmongers.  These are the first mRNA shots to be deployed in the real world though, so that's kinda exciting and scary.  

Here are the rates of side effects reported in clinical trials after the first and second doses of the Pfizer shot, which was administered to people of all ages from many different health backgrounds.  Notice how much the side effect rates go up after the 2nd dose:

1st shot:  Fatigue - 30%  Headaches - 25%  Fever/Chills - 9%

2nd shot:  Fatigue - 54%  Headaches - 54%  Fever/Chills - 30%

The Big Day

I make sure not to pre-load with my usual Tylenol with codeine, as acetaminophen is said to suppress the immune system & fever response which you need for the vaccine to work.  You should also avoid taking ibuprofen or other NSAIDs before the shot (they're fine to take afterward however).  And I skip my daily Benzedrex to keep my blood pressure down.  Not a very fun morning.  To ensure a robust immune response, I take 2 Vitamin D3 pills (2,000 IU) and a Prenatal multivitamin before heading in.  All things recommended by WebMD though completely optional.  And I have everything I need at home to control side effects should they occur:  Zofran for nausea, codeine/Tylenol for pain & fever, Xanax for anxiety & blood pressure, Imodium for diarrhea.  Yeah, I'm overthinking the hell out of this but that's what anxiety does.  

Before heading in I eat a full meal, drink plenty of water and do my best to stay calm as I know anxiety and vasovagal response are the most likely thing to affect me--I've passed out while giving blood samples which was embarrassing.  To seal the deal I take 1/4th of a Xanax... a microdose if you will.  The nurse debriefs me on possible side effects which I covered above & I ask a few questions, like whether they have an EpiPen on site in case I spaz out.  They do.  She also said it's cool to take any meds or supplements I need later.  The shot itself is incredibly painless compared to every other shot I've taken--much less so than the Hepatitis A & B or flu shots.  I wait the mandatory 15 minutes with my family members who are already at the clinic (I told you it was a small town) and then head home to take my codeine tabs immediately.  

That was easy!

The Big Why

Now for a short tangent.  I know I'm not gonna convince any hardliners to get the shot if they've convinced themselves it's unsafe, unnecessary or some combination of the two.  That's not my goal here, nor am I narcissistic enough to think I can undo the loads of anti-vax material you've consumed to arrive at your foregone conclusion.  It's a big decision and shouldn't be taken lightly.  Be very skeptical of anyone trying to push you into something before you're ready, such as a profit-driven boss or controlling spouse; at the same time, make sure you're not working from the Appeal to Nature fallacy or similar flawed thinking patterns.  In this case, "nature" is very deadly and can leave you with permanent damage even if you're otherwise healthy.  You can also infect others without feeling sick yourself as up to 80% of COVID cases are asymptomatic or cause only mild symptoms (but are still capable of causing long-term organ damage & infecting others who may get very sick).   

Vaccination vs. COVID are really your only choices here.  It's not like the flu where you can go 20+ years or your whole life without catching it.  You WILL contract COVID at some point if you haven't already, and even if you've survived it once you are subject to catching it again.  Like the seasonal flu or stomach virus, coronavirus is going to be with us forever; constantly mutating in an attempt to outwit our immune systems.  Unlike those things, it's extremely infectious and spread via aerosols that are expelled just by talking or singing, not to mention coughing or sneezing.  It can affect any organ in the body from the brain to the toes and has killed 574,000 Americans in a little over a year at the time of this writing.  There are currently 400,000 new cases per day in India.  Turning your nose up at the vaccine is not only ignorant but privileged, offensive & deadly to people who are unable to access it.  

Don't fall prey to the COVID "infodemic".

There are unknowns about the vaccines to be sure, but millions around the world have already received them with very few problems compared to those who have died or been maimed by the virus.  Nobody likes to feel crappy, least of all people with severe health anxiety like myself, but the other alternative is infinitely worse: feeling crappy indefinitely or even dying on a ventilator.  I haven't had a flu shot since age 10, for reference.  Flu shots are about 60% effective at best; the J&J shot is 72% effective against COVID & the other two given in the States are 94-95% effective after dose 2.  That's an amazing feat of science.  The fact that people are so indignant & ungrateful about this lifesaving technology is embarrassing and just proves how much our public education systems have failed.  When the smallpox & polio vaccines came out, they were hailed a miracle of modern science and people lined up without hesitation.  Those diseases were all but eradicated as a result.  What changed?

For all the good it's done, the internet has given people a false sense of expertise in subjects they are completely ignorant about, also known as the Dunning-Kruger Effect.  This total inability to grasp that some things aren't up for debate--that facts are concrete, provable and not subject to opinion--is also an outgrowth of the partisan 24-hour news cycle on channels like FOX News and MSNBC.  This vaccine actually has some possible benefits aside from preventing COVID.  In patients with long-COVID, it's showing promise in eradicating or reducing their lingering symptoms like loss of smell and fatigue.  I've even seen a few scattered reports of Chronic Fatigue/fibromyalgia patients feeling better shortly after their shot.  (Long COVID and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome are thought to be caused by a similar post-viral immune response).  This is all anecdotal at this point but as someone with Chronic Fatigue of unknown origin, I must admit it was alluring for that reason. 

But back to my vaccine experience.  

I received my shot at 1:30 & took a short nap after getting home but it was probably just from the Xanax wearing off.  The immune system is most active after sunset (ever notice how fevers and other sickness symptoms get worse at night?) so I prepare by taking an ibuprofen around 5:45 p.m.--something I haven't done in ages due to my chronic gastritis--and drinking a ton of water to offset any headaches that may arise.  My side effects 7 hours after the 1st dose include:  mild-moderate arm pain, left-sided neck soreness & the most minor brain fog.  But again, I took a microdose of Xanax so who knows if that's clouding my head to some degree.  

The next day I feel slightly worse.  I had graphic fever dreams which I won't get into here but let me say they were worse than my worst opiate withdrawal nightmares.  And my arm HURTS, though admittedly less than after the Hepatitis shot or some of my worst flu jabs as a kid.  I'd say a 6 on a scale of 1-10.  Beyond that, I'm fine on the day after my 1st dose.  I go back to my regular codeine/Tylenol and Benzedrex dose on this day as I don't feel my heart or other organs are acting weird in any way.  And I keep guzzling water.  

I'm now 5 days from getting my 2nd dose and my whole body feels... weird.  Extreme fatigue in my arm and leg muscles along with aches and cramps in my buttocks and legs, the latter symptoms lasting only a day thank goodness.  I have NO idea if this is linked to the vaccine in any way but I doubt it since it was over 2 weeks ago.  My menstrual period was difficult and I had my first real migraine in over a year, which is expected after hearing reports of women having heavier/worse periods after the shot.  It's possible I have a mild case of COVID since my (vaccinated) brother was exposed to students in his class who had it, or possibly the flu.  Just today news broke of 7 NY Yankees and Bill Maher--all of whom were fully vaccinated--testing positive for the virus, so it's possible I contracted a mild version after my 1st shot.  I've been more lax about wearing my mask at home.  

In any case, just recording my symptoms here for future reference.

Dose Two:  The Big-Big Day

(Side effects underlined)

I'm feeling fine on the day of my 2nd shot.  I went through all the same preparation as before, the only difference was I didn't take any Xanax this time as I didn't want to feel tired afterward.  But the tiredness was INSTANT after the 2nd dose; it hit within 5 minutes just as the "sludge" sensation started to spread throughout my arm.  It's definitely the vaccine causing the fatigue, which is to be expected as that's a normal immune response to any stimulus.  And my throat is a bit sore which lasts through the day and night.  I popped 1,000mg Tylenol (with codeine) and lay down the minute I got home, trying not to snooze as I didn't want a repeat of the nightmares I had last time.  Plus I slept 9.5 hours the previous night and oversleeping is just asking for bad dreams.  

More about the "sludge" (aka arm pain).  It feels like heavy industrial waste, for lack of a better description.  Definitely get the shot in your non-dominant arm because you won't be able to use it for a couple days.  The injection itself is almost painless (at least the Pfizer one, that is) but its contents spread out over several hours until your muscle feels like it's rotting away.  And then the pain is gone as suddenly as it started.  As are the other symptoms.  

Eric Clapton, ardent anti-lockdown protester, made a huge stink about how the vaccine is "not safe for everyone" because he experienced side effects that were extremely unpleasant & scary, though temporary.  Welcome to the world of the vaccinated.  EVERYONE experiences that, sir.  It doesn't mean it's not safe.  And if you got that sick from the first shot, why go back for the 2nd?  Yet he did and lived to tell about it, and is now protected from the deadly COVID virus.  This is why you must consider the source when dealing with reports of adverse reactions.  They're a real phenomenon & must be considered but people are also using them in bad faith to bolster their anti-vax, anti-science agenda.  If social media and partisan news outlets existed in the 1940's, polio and smallpox would still be rampant.  That's a terrifying thought.  

On the eve of my 2nd dose I start to feel a bit more discomfort in the arm as well as a vague malaise consisting of a bad mood and fatigue as the sun sets around 8:00 p.m.  Also, I'm freakin' STARVING which I experienced after my 1st shot but chalked up to PMS--that's definitely not the case this time.  I Googled a bit and saw that appetite changes in both directions have been reported, though increased appetite has no biological explanation.  I'm just grateful not to be nauseated.  I pop an ibuprofen with my Ramen noodles around 8:30 and lie down after putting some frozen peas on my shoulder to ease the pain.  The ibuprofen definitely cleared the brain fog.  

I slept like shit:  only 6.5 hours, but no nightmares/fever dreams thankfully.  Woke up at 6:30 a.m. and popped a Tylenol/codeine for the arm pain which was moderately severe but no worse than with the first shot.  My neck (left side) and throat are also sore but that's it.  Taking meds and staying hydrated really does offset the worst of the side effects, I think, as does not over-exerting yourself physically.  I expected to feel much worse after the 2nd dose as that's what the lady at the clinic told me and what everyone's reporting, but so far it's identical to the first shot--maybe a little LESS severe.  Or I'm just used to it & know what to expect.  Feeling decent by the end of night 2 (24 hours in, give or take) & hoping to sleep better.  Hunger has died down significantly.  

Rounding out the 3rd day after my 2nd vaccine (48 hours post vaccine), I feel about the same:  achy arm and neck, brain fog, general malaise & bad mood.  But now there's a new symptom--lower back pain on both sides.  I had this shortly before getting this shot but didn't think it was related due to the timing being so delayed after the 1st one; now I'm not so sure.  No idea what muscle group or organ system is right there but the pain is pretty bad despite all the codeine & Tylenol I've taken.  Sort of feels like bowel or endometriosis-type pain but can't be sure.  It's not worrying enough to call a doctor but thought I'd include it here anyway.  Also, the spot where the injection went in is somewhat hot and hard to the touch as of May 22nd (3 days after the shot).  The arm pain finally resolves entirely by May 24th.  

 

Final Thoughts

Overall I'm glad I ended up getting the Pfizer shot over the Johnson & Johnson one.  My fears turned out to be overblown and the added protection this brand provides is worth it.  Since I started this article 3 weeks ago, experts have recommended that women in their 30's (i.e. me) opt for the mRNA shots over Johnson & Johnson due to the small risk of blood clots if they have the option.  Maybe the universe was trying to guide me in this direction all along.  In the end I'm just grateful to have not one but three vaccine options in this country.  Not everyone is so lucky.  We're already seeing dramatic decreases in virus cases in my state and the country.  The CDC said it's safe for fully vaccinated people to go maskless in most indoor settings now.  I'll continue wearing mine in most situations until more of the population is vaccinated but I do feel a great sense of relief that I'll soon have 95% protection from severe SARS-COVID-19.  

Keep in mind that, as someone with severe health anxiety, I'm overly conscious of every little sensation in my body and thus super dramatic in reporting all of these symptoms.  They may sound more serious than they really are.  Please don't let anything I've said scare you.  On a scale of 1-10, none of my vaccine side effects were worse than a 5.  This was more about recording everything as accurately as possible for my own future reference as well as being upfront about my experience.  

Thank you to all the scientists, medical professionals & volunteers who made this breakthrough possible.  If you have any questions, leave them in the comments below.

Here are some general tips for reducing vaccine side effects:

- Eat a good meal before your shot.  Low blood sugar is no bueno when doing something like this.  Breathe deeply and avoid looking at the syringe during your injection, especially if you're prone to fainting.  

- Stay hydrated before and after.  Don't overdo it but increase your intake of water a bit from whatever you normally drink.  Your urine should be light yellow/straw-colored for reference.  This will help majorly with headaches and fatigue.  

- Take Tylenol (acetaminophen) or an NSAID (ibuprofen or naproxen) shortly after your vaccine, but not before.  Don't wait until the middle of the night when symptoms are at their worst to take these meds--before bed is best if possible.  Follow the directions on the bottle and don't exceed the safe daily limits.  

- Move your arm as much as comfortably possible after your shot to prevent stiffness & aid mobility.  Avoid strenuous exercise or injury--simple neck rolls & stretches will do.

- Do not exercise vigorously or take hot baths/showers for 4 hours following your shot as this can increase your risk of anaphylaxis, a very rare but serious side effect.  

- Use a cool, wet wash cloth or ice pack on your sore arm to reduce swelling and inflammation if the pain gets severe.  

Notice I said "side effects".  For severe adverse reactions like throat swelling, hives and wheezing, call 911 immediately.  If you have any question about whether your symptoms are serious, call your healthcare provider.    

If you enjoyed this article, drop a buck (or whatever you like) in one of the accounts below.  Google AdSense does not support "drug-related" content so I rely on your contributions to keep this blog running.  It's hard out here for an independent freelance writer in the digital age.  Thank you!

Cash App:
cash.me/$apphicomrade

BITCOIN:
18cwb3qFkGghVqqzNSX59EFypzzF8Dd7Vg

BITCOIN CASH:
qz84t4ua2achx90a7yk8efelvufggflhu5tzalry7l